solitudinous

[conscious-love]

People are allowed to leave you.

People are allowed to break up with you.

People are allowed to love you but not want to be with you.

People are allowed to not want to talk to you.

People are allowed to put their happiness before yours and do what makes them happy even if it does not include you.

People are allowed to move on from you.

People are allowed to fall in love with someone else.

People are allowed to not want you in their life.

People are allowed to do whatever they want to better themselves and become the version of themselves they are trying so hard to love.

Don’t be bitter toward someone who is only trying to be happy.

[bunlly]

It was words that I fell for. In the end, it was words that broke my heart.

Lang Leav (via lazypacific)

[vvcrse]

I still wake up hoping to get a message from you

[vvcrse]

I was so blindsided with "love" I started adapting to the way you treated me and started convincing myself it was the norm. That arguing at least once or twice a day was typical. That feeling like I was never good enough was my fault for never being able to reach your standards. That making me drop everything to cater to your needs while I got nothing in return was just my way of showing I cared. That letting you control who I was and wasn't allowed to talk to just meant you were jealous type. That sex was an obligation rather than a want. So it's okay if it felt a little bit forced. The list goes on. I missed the little things like this because once you spoke those three words "I love you" it suddenly outweighed all the bad. The sweetness of your words is convinced me to stay. But I knew I was unhappy and I knew I deserved more than what you had to offer. But as long as you told me you loved me, I had no reason to leave. Because you said you loved me and that's all I ever wanted. I thought that was all I ever needed so I easily convinced myself I was happy being with you.

[vvcrse]

Fuck. I miss being called baby

[vvcrse]

2:29 am Tonight has been so hard. It's been one of those nights where i can't stop thinking about you and all the things i could've and should've said. And thinking about if things would've turned out differently if i waited and just stayed with you. But then i just keep reminding myself it's better to suffer through the pain and move forward than to wait for someone who can't decide whether they want to be with your or not or show you any of the love or compassion i deserve.

[vvcrse]

3:00 am I barely post on here anymore but let's catch up. Over the past few months i've gained an overwhelming sense of independence and it feels so good. I went from staying at home 24/7 not doing anything besides laying in bed all day to getting two jobs so i'm barely ever home. Not to mention i start college in a few weeks so that makes everything 10x better. I'll be so busy i'll barely have time to dwell on the thought of you. I'll be so busy that i wont overthink about you to the point where i start crying in the middle of the night because i'll be so tired i fall asleep. I'll be so busy i'll eventually forget about you and i couldn't be happier.

[perrfectly]

[vvcrse]

Tonight is one of those nights where I miss you. It’s a bit odd considering these past few weeks I’ve been completely fine without you.The thought of you barely crosses my mind now adays. 

But when you do, the feeling i usually get sinks a little bit deeper into my chest, making it uneasy to breathe. 

I try not thinking about it too much because whenever I do I over analyze everything we’ve been through. Including all the constant arguing and petty debacles,  After all the overthinking I usually find myself regretting saying half the things I did, wishing I said all the unspoken thoughts that consumed my mind at the time, or just thinking of better ways to handle whatever situation we faced. Maybe then we’d make it work, 

But then I realized that even if I did try to fix all the broken bits and pieces of our “relationship”, relationships are never one sided. No matter how much I wanted to make things work, you stopped putting in the effort so I did too.

But it’s 2:51 AM and I as much as I don’t want to admit it, A part of me honestly does miss you.

I know I said I don’t want anything to do with you, and I still stand by it (for my sake) but I can’t hold a grudge ever. So I wish you the very best and hoping you find the happiness that I couldn’t give you.

[vvcrse]

To the person still reminiscing,

Note that change is inevitable. Relationships change, feelings change, and people change. Everything is constantly changing, it’s a continuous cycle, nothing ever stays the same. It took me a while to finally understand the whole concept of “change.” The person you were head over heels for months ago isn’t always the same as the person you wish you were with now. So just remember, change is a constant cycle and you have two ways to approach it:

1. You can chose to ignore change and continue holding on to the past or 2. Accept the change and chose to better yourself into becoming a better version of yourself.

[vvcrse]

I'm at that stage where I'm okay. I've been through that whole "heartbroken" phase too many times that now it hurts a little less. If i keep myself occupied so i don't overthink or overwhelm myself with the thought of you, i'll be okay. The realization that we've reached the end of our "relationship" feels a bit more bearable now. So yeah, i'm okay.

[babyanimalpic]

[nutrifitblr]

makes me so happy

[collective-yikes-deactivated202]

thEYRE SO PROPORTIONAL TO ONE ANOTHER IM cRyInG

[allaboutdane]

this is too pure for my sinful eyes

[uptional]

[vvcrse]

God i am so in love with you

[vehxt-deactivated20150922]

[wordsnquotes]

If something in life hurts you in life, use it in your writing.

Ernest Hemingway  (via wordsnquotes)

[vvcrse]

Also the last thing i want to say is, for all the years that i’ve known you, i know you can have a good heart. Yet you lack human decency and allow your arrogance to control you whenever you feel the need to prove yourself. Secondly, you’ve taught me a lot. You can love and care for someone unconditionally and still have all of it unrecognized or even unappreciated. And the most important lesson being, someone who constantly hurts you never really loved you. You weren’t wrong when you said you’re just a manipulator. Never will i ever settle for anybody who makes me feel completely worthless and unwanted ever again. It’s the worst feeling. And lastly, hope one day you really do find someone you’ll learn to love unconditionally. Someone who’ll make you less into the pretentious, arrogant, overall ass you are. I also hope they teach you how to appreciate the excitement of life and it’s unknowing course so you’ll stop trying to dictate every single fragment of your life in order to make it your idea of “perfect” it’s an unhealthy way to live.

You always call me the child, but you still have a whole lot of growing to do.