Dewdrop.
It was like a drop of water from a storm, fleeting, but little by little it grew bigger like a cyclone. These feelings feel uncomfortable as they hang in your chest, collecting more with each stare, accidental touch, and sometimes from the exchange of words. Your fingers tremble as they grip on the side of your pants–you stand there stiffly, averting your eyes as you endure another scolding from the harbinger you supposedly serve. And yet, you don’t feel scared, nor fear that you might lose the job. Instead, you feel your heartbeats ramp up, beating audibly that you swore he might’ve heard. It’s embarrassing to be this foolish, but you just can’t help feeling something whenever you hear his voice. Harsh, and yet it holds you in its palm with an iron grip. You just can’t help but fall harder with each syllable that comes out of that mouth.
Sometimes, you receive a slap from those hands of his. Fingers slim and pale, as well as trimmed nails that leave crescent shaped marks on your skin whenever he uses his hand to clamp your mouth shut. There are also rare moments where he uses them to heal your injuries for when you accidentally caught a nasty scrap on your missions–those were the times that further solidified your feelings for him. And now, as you wait for him to finish his scolding, you notice the box of tea that you bought for him, opened and used. The faint aroma of the tea blend swifts through your nose, as you notice him walk back to his desk and sit down, grabbing his teacup, taking a small sip before sighing deeply.
He actually took the gift you gave him on valentines day. Now, your fingers tremble on the side of your pants uncontrollably without your permission. You feel a warm sensation spread throughout your chest, not knowing what to do with all of these feelings. You want to walk up to him, shake him, or maybe grab one of the pillows on his couch, and scream into it.
You stay still with the best of your abilities, trying your hardest to keep your composure. But how could you? Not when he’s right there, drinking the tea you bought for him.
These feelings start to overflow and fill up in your chest, bursting with warmth and panic. Panic, from how close you are to breaking and just reaching over to grab him and kiss him. Good heavens, if celestia was listening in your thoughts you would have been struck by a celestial nail by now.
You get snapped out of your thoughts, and jolt when he slams his teacup down on his desk with a loud clink. He glares you down, grabbing the pile of papers on his desk–specifically, the ones that you gave him, the main reason why he’s upset at you right now. You had overlooked a detail in one of the weekly mission reports. A mistake.
He was known to be stern when it came to the quality of his reports, especially since he took pride in whatever that he did, always making sure that his work is up-to-date, accurate, and right. He didn’t like mistakes, and he certainly did not like this one.
You go back in your thoughts, blaming yourself, telling yourself that you should have checked thrice before submitting it, and yet, you feel a twisted sense of pleasure in the fact that your little mistake got you to spend more time with him. You liked it even, getting scolded like this. Nevertheless, you won’t let it happen again–you wouldn’t like it if you left him disappointed in you.
He stands up once again, walking towards you with the papers in his hand. He smacks the slightly crumpled papers on your chest, urging you to take the abomination. He turns on his heel and dismisses you with a wave of his hand, walking back to his desk and focusing on his other more important tasks.
You turn around, looking at the papers in your hands. Your heart feels full, one that feels entirely too warm from both your feelings and the memories of today’s interaction with him. You step forward, pushing the large door of his office–finally walking out of that wretched place. You had to admit, even if you did love him, you can’t deny the mental toll of his treatment of you has completely and utterly affected you. Overworked, and unappreciated. You longed for a moment, deluding yourself to a situation in which he becomes nice, even for a little bit. You feel yourself becoming motivated to work even harder.
And with that, each drop of these feelings start to weigh even heavier on you, just like a dewdrop–a single drop of water on a leaf in the early morning. Fleeting, and might be small at first, but with each storm of feelings becomes heavier and unable to be supported by the leaf anymore, as it seeps in the ground and grows.
