i have risen
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i have risen
”i’m not gonna fucking apologize. i did what i had to do, it’s not my fault that you constantly let people run all over you.”
”why do you have to be so damn selfish? have i ever known you to even apologize for causing any kind of shit?"
So the plus sign means... || Deacon&Selena
Selena pouted but kissed his nose. “You’re mean.” She rested her forearms on his shoulders. “Can they like us evenly? Otherwise I will bribe them to like me better with cupcakes.” She smiled sweetly at him. Selena couldn’t remember her parents, not really. They’d died when she was only seven. But she remembered how in love they were, how they did everything as a unit it seemed. Aidan had done his best, but she definitely missed having parents. She noticed his exhale and frowned, nudging his nose with hers. “Hey, what’s wrong? Your eyebrows are doing that thing they do when I try to help you cook.” She played with his hair. “You look worried. Talk to me.” She gave him a small, sweet smile. “I’m a good listener too, you know.”
"Nope," he chimed, "They'll definitely like me more. I mean, I'll give them everything you do but better." Leaning back on the palms of his hands he tilted his head to the side, looking at her with a curious gaze. "I know you're a good listener," Deacon told her, bringing a hand to scrape through her hair playfully, "I'm just kind of worried about what, y'know, my family in general will think." A small period of silence. "But I don't wanna think about that right now, so we won't even bring it up." He gave her a assuring smile.
"Smoke stick?" she snorts. "You sound like my fuckin’ grandma." Still, she waits impatiently for him to open the door and before she can even take a step forward he’s slammed the balcony door in her face. Jaw clenched, she fumes, "You fucking jackass!" With a shrug of her tiny shoulders, she drops to the floor, crossing her legs and unceremoniously lighting the cigarette she’s got held between her teeth, shit-eating grin on her face as she watches his face.
As soon as she'd brought out the cigarette and actually lit it his eyes widened a bit. Smoking? In his living area? Not on his watch. He threw the door open quickly and dipped to his knees, snatching the little item from between her fingers and turning back towards the balcony. He watched as he sent it flying over and down towards the ground. "I'm going to throw away all of them now just for you doing that," Deacon announced, turning and giving her a glare. A small smirk played at his lips.
So the plus sign means... || Deacon&Selena
Selena rolled her eyes. “Hmm, such a charmer it’s no wonder I couldn’t help but fall for you.” She laughed. “What are you going to do if the hormones make me a massive puttana and I’m no longer entertaining?” She peeked up at him when he moved away. “I’m not gonna puke, I’m the one who does all the cleaning, like I’m gonna make more work for myself!” She straightened up a little and looked at him. “D… we’re having a baby.” She smiled. “I always wanted to be a mom.” She scooted off the couch and flopped into his lap, wrapping her legs around him. She just wanted to be close to him. She gave him a quick kiss. “I can see it, you know. You walking around with a little mini me on your shoulders.” She giggled. “I’m going to have to be the bad guy, aren’t I? You’re going to be the soft touch, the ‘go ask your mother’ so that our kid loves you, I know it!” She was running on adrenaline. Odds are it would hit her when they went to bed. A baby for her was a big deal, she’d have to get off all her anxiety medication and try and deal with everything without her ativan. Once she properly realized that, and how much their lives would change… she was probably going to end up crying herself to sleep in his arms. It wouldn’t be the first time. But at least right now they could enjoy the moment.
He released a playful laugh, head tilting to the side as she settled herself into his lap. "Of course you're going to have to be the bad guy, I'm going to have to take you down so they can like me more than they like you," Deacon teased. For some reason he'd always taken towards his Mother a lot more than his Dad. She was stern at times but there was nothing better than getting on her last nerve with a helpless amount of jokes and banter. He released a large breath, brows furrowing slightly as he looked back towards her. He didn't even want to begin thinking about how his parents would react to this situation. They would definitely be some of the last people he would think about telling.
So the plus sign means... || Deacon&Selena
Selena listened as he reassured her, a smile slowly forming on her face. He always knew what to say, knew exactly what she was trying to say even when her brain just wasn’t cooperating. She actually snorted a little. “You’re with me because I entertain you momentarily? Oh how romantic of you, D.” But the smile on her face showed she wasn’t the least bit actually upset. She brought his hand up to her lips as he kept talking, his excitement starting to infect her as well. “OhmyGod, wait, think about it, how much hair is a kid of ours going to have!?” She giggled a little and moved to the edge of the couch to press a soft peck to his lips. “Ours. Our baby.” She pulled her hands out of his and pressed them to her cheeks. “OhmyGod, and we get to buy those itty bitty little clothes and those tiny shoes and-” She gasped. “-we can take silly pictures of my tummy and…” She trailed off. “I feel like I’m going to be sick.” She pushed him back a little and put her head between her knees, hyperventilating. She knew she wouldn’t puke, but the lurking panic attack was kicking in. The weird thing was, she was laughing. “Holy fuck, we’re going to be parents! Am I even a proper adult? Dude, there’s a person in me!” She put her hands on his forearms. “We… baby!” There went her speaking ability!
"Of course, if you didn't entertain me how was I supposed to stick around?" he teased, lips curling upwards even further. His eyes were wide as he listened to her ramble on, mouth parted in amusement before he released a few chortles of a laugh. Suddenly she was leaning over and for a split second Deacon thought she was about to blow chunks all over the floor. He backed away quickly, plopping to his bottom on the floor. Thankfully she wasn't vomiting everywhere but laughing instead. Releasing a sigh of relief he went back to being completely entertained by her behavior. "No, we are not proper adults, but that's alright. We'll figure it out along the way won't we?" He said happily.
So the plus sign means... || Deacon&Selena
Selena frowned, confused, as he stood up. Shit, she still needed him! She concentrated on her breathing. She let out a laugh at his words. “Ya think?” She groaned as he started pacing again and pulled her legs back up, hugging her knees and making herself as small as possible. It would almost look like she was afraid of him, but it was her way of literally holding herself together. But she watched him again, her eyes tracking his path around the living room. Right when she felt like she was about to explode into tears he moved back over to her. His hands were so much bigger than hers, he only needed one hand told envelop both of her. She listened as he spoke, her bottom lip quivering. He wanted to keep the baby. There was that happy little tummy flip again. He was right, they’d known each other since high school, and they’d lived together pretty much since graduation! She gave him a weak smile and squeezed his hand. “But Deacon, this is a big thing. And… I don’t want you to stay with me just because you got me pregnant.” She chewed on her lip a little. “I want to keep it too-” Tummy flip! “-but I don’t want to trap you with me.” She bit her lips. “Are you sure you want to do this together? Like as a couple, I mean.” Her heart was racing. She was so scared of losing him. “Either way I know we can do this.” She smiled a little. “Look how amazing you are when we watch Eve. You were born to be a daddy.” She sighed. “I’m overthinking this, just give me a second.” She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to his, just breathing slowly and organizing her thoughts. She sat like this for a good two minutes before she spoke again. “I’m not trying to say we need to do the cliche shotgun wedding. Just… can everything between you and me just stay the way it was yesterday? We just keep moving along our relationship the same as we were, just adapting for baby? I’m just not ready to make some huge leap forwards or lose you, ok? I like how we are now. Is that ok?”
He shook his head, dismissing all her accusations, "It won't be like that at all, okay? I'm not suddenly going to want to marry you. People have babies and don't marry all the time there's no wrong in that. I'll stay with you because you're such a great person and keep me entertained long enough to do nearly anything, but a tiny little baby just makes it all the better," Deacon chimed, giving her another flash of his grin. He released a large breath. He'd never been as nervous as he was now since that time he had to explain a girl in his room to his about-to-strike Mother. "And on top of that we don't even have to tell anyone until we're ready. It can be our secret that I get to relish in and get excited over because, God, I love kids and this one is going to be mine? A little Deacon? Or a little Selena of course," he laughed, beginning to get lost in his thoughts.
So the plus sign means... || Deacon&Selena
It was him touching her arm that snapped her out of it, jumping a little. The teeny Italian looked over at him. She couldn’t read him. But he didn’t look angry. Was that a good thing? When he said the word ‘Dad’ Selena’s stomach did a weird little flip and she got an image of him with Leo’s daughter the last time they’d babysat. He’d pretended to be a horse and carried her around on his back for an hour. When William had come to pick the little girl up she’d hugged Deacon before Selena! It occurred to her that he’d asked her a question. “What?” The word was a squeak and she actually managed a nervous giggle, christ she’d sounded like a mouse! “I… I don’t know.” She bit her lip and moved her hand from her stomach to pick up the stick again. “I mean, I always wanted a family. I just… figured I’d be closer to Leo’s age before it happened.” Her hand was still on his chest, just feeling his chest rise and fall as he breathed. “I also thought I’d be with the father for longer than a few months.” She looked over at him. She knew she cared so so much about him, and she had already told her sister she was sure she was falling in love with him. But this was big. “What are we going to do? I mean, do we keep it?” Her eyes widened. “I mean like do we keep it or look into adoption, I don’t think I could do the other one!” She was starting to shake again, so she moved to press her cheek to his shoulder, her hand moving to wrap around him and press against his back. “What are you thinking?”
Deacon stared at the floor absently before his head snapped up. "Adoption? Absolutely not," he quickly retorted. It was going to be his and he wasn't going to allow anyone to take them away. Too many things were going on at once and suddenly he stood to his feet, uncurling himself from her grasp. "This was unanticipated," he groaned, rubbing a hand down his face. After wandering around for a few moments he arrived back in front of her, dipping down onto his knees and taking her hands into one of his. "I'm thinking that if this goes through and if you're pregnant then we are parents. I know it's not going to be the traditional marry and then have kids at thirty situation but it'll work, right? We can be a little different and we take to each other extremely well. We've only been together for a few months but we've known each other for how long? I've lived with you longer than I'd like to remember sometimes," He told her, letting out a small laugh, "But I think we can do all right with this."
So the plus sign means... || Deacon&Selena
Selena let out a pitiful little sob when Deacon wrapped his arms around her. It took her a second to unstick herself and hug him back, her hands gripping his shirt. “Because what’s if I’m pregnant? You can’t even drink yet! I’m only 21, we haven’t even been dating that long. What if it says I’m pregnant? I don’t want to lose you.” There she goes, ignoring his words and getting worked up. But as soon as his thumb brushed her face the tension started melting out of her. Even before they’d started dating, before she’d even realized she liked him, he’d always known how to make her feel better when she panicked. She took a deep breath and nodded. She moved her death grip around him to press her hands to his chest, trying to match her breathing to his. “Right, I’m probably just late.” So why did it feel like she was about to lose everything? Keeping one hand on his chest she reached over to grab the stick. Her hand was shaking. “I-I can’t stop my hand shaking!” She moved closer to him, hoping proximity to him would calm her. It did. She held the stick between them so they could both see. There was a lovely, bright plus sign. She was pregnant. She just stared at the stick. Was she even breathing anymore? Her hand was clenched around his shirt on his chest. Her brain forced herself to inhale sharply before she fainted. Her mind was blank. She didn’t know what she was feeling. The stick slid from her fingers as she pressed her hand to her perfectly flat stomach, her other hand still clinging to his shirt. She wouldn’t look at him
He laughed to break some of the nervous tension at her comment of her shaking hand, inhaling a deep breath as she steadied it between their heads. Deacon blinked at the sudden staleness of the air. He'd never known a pink little plus would have so much control over his life but here he was-- here they were. He cleared his throat to break the silence, finally looking in her direction. "Holy shit," He breathed, a hand coming up to rest on her arm, "I'm a Dad?" By the body language and breathing pattern she had, Deacon could tell she was on the brink of probably imploding. He definitely was about to implode. However, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of giddiness. He loved kids, he loved babies, and they all seemed to attach to him like they were their favorite type of candy. "What are you thinking?" Deacon muttered softly, his head turning as he got a good look at her face.
Do you all want to be married and have children? Even as young as you are?
Yeah, I’ve always wanted kids.
21 days of Harry - day 13: harry wants a baby
Donate here!
So the plus sign means... || Deacon&Selena
Selena winced at his laugh and felt the sting of tears. She reached up to clutch her locket, a habit she’d had since she was a child. Her mother had given it to her before she’d died and told her to use it to center herself whenever her emotions became too much. It never worked, as they later found out she had a legitimate disorder. But the cool metal was still a comfort. She nearly jumped out of her skin when he flopped down, far away from her. She hadn’t expected him to listen to her. She cleared her throat a little. “Thank you.” She lifted her feet up onto the couch and hugged her knees. She looked so small! How would her tiny frame even carry a child?! She took a deep breath and looked at him, startled by the look on her face. She felt the tears well up in her eyes and she shook her head. “I’m sor-” She yelped as the timer on her phone went off. “It… it’s been ten minutes.” She looked at the stick, frozen to her spot. “I-I can’t.” The tears were falling freely now. “Deacon, I’m so sorry!” It was neither of their faults, they’d stopped as soon as he felt the condom break, but Selena always took on people’s guilt, especially the guilt of those close to her. She hugged her knees tighter and shook her head. “I can’t look at it!” Her breathing was becoming faster, major warning sign of an impending anxiety attack.
Even Deacon jumped at the sound of her phone alarm. He'd learned to hate the sound of it ever since his alarm used the same tone to wake him up at eight in the morning. Furrowing his brows further he looked over towards the girl opposite of him, a small pang of guilt washing over his body. With a small sigh he removed himself from his seat and slid towards her, engulfing her into his embrace and placing his chin on her shoulder. "Why are you apologizing?" he asked her softly, voice questioning as gently as he could manage, "It's alright, don't get all worked up, okay?" Deacon peeled himself backwards a bit so he could get a proper look at her face, suddenly using a thumb instinctively to wipe away a stray tear on her cheek. He grinned slightly, knowing it was the only thing he could do to show her he wasn't angry. Scared, sure, but not angry. "C'mon now, we'll look together. I'm sure you just got a little messed up and all of this is just over exaggerated."
So the plus sign means... || Deacon&Selena
vxltage
This was not how Selena had pictured this event to go down. She’d expected to be a little older. She’d expected it to be planned, meticulously. She’d thought that she’d start eating better, taking vitamins, get off her anxiety meds. She was just glad she’d quit smoking six months back. She also hadn’t expected her boyfriend to look so annoyed. She was sitting on the couch, her whole body moving as she tapped her foot, but her eyes followed Deacon as he paced. On the coffee table between them was a little white stick in a disposable cup. Only eight minutes left. “Deacon could you stop pacing, you’re not helping.” That wasn’t supposed to sound so snippy. “I’m sorry, it’s just, you’re making me even more anxious. I could just be late you know. I might not even be…” She couldn’t even say the word. Pregnant. Selena might be pregnant. Deacon looked almost angry. Selena was terrified. She’d finally gotten what she wanted, Deacon was her boyfriend. And things had been going so amazingly. What if she was pregnant? Christ, he was younger than her! She knew he cared about her, and she was pretty sure she was falling in love with him, but this? This might be too much for both of them. “Deacon can you just sit down, anywhere? Please?” She worked to keep her voice steady and not rude, but you could hear her nerves in it, and her voice cracked on the word please. Fuck. She brought her thumb up and chewed on her nail, her whole leg bouncing now.
He could hardly breathe as he wandered back and forth, occasionally running a hand through his messy hair. Not to mention he'd just woken up not ten minutes ago. His hand that had just mused his locks fell down his face and his fingers grasped the bridge of his nose. "Stop pacing?" Deacon nearly asked incredulously. A small, fake laugh escaped his lips. He never expected that things would turn so drastically like they had; everything seemed to have went so well. After Selena's second begging for him to sit down he finally plopped himself heavily on the other side of the couch, brows pinching towards each other. He shot a small glance towards her, arm draping over the arm of the couch as he shook his foot to no rhythm in particular. Maybe she was just late. Maybe.
Selena shook her head slowly, a sexy smirk on her face. “Nope.” She gasped as he ripped them from her tiny body, leaving her completely bared to him. She sighed and her eyes fluttered closed as he kissed her. “Dio, che si sente così sorprendente." She brushed her fingers through his hair lovingly. She whimpered softly when she felt his warm tongue and tugged his hair a little. The look on her face that he would find probably wasn’t what he was expecting. Her teeth caught in her lip, her eyes closed, she was deeply enjoying his little kisses and teases. He’d have to do better if he wanted her to beg. She went into this expecting to get nothing but maybe a few kisses. Plus, it had been so long since she’d been touched like this, she was relishing everything. However… her legs opened a little and one hand found it’s way to her heavy curls, pushing them off her face. "Deacon… don’t stop." Her soft Italian accent was heavy with lust and pleasure, it just wasn’t fair.
Deacon released a huff against her skin in defeat. She always had a way with winning without even having to try. With furrowed brows and a small grin he decided to stop with all the fun and games, beginning to move up her body with small kisses and nips along the way. Upon finally reaching the tip her chin he planted a small kiss atop the skin, bringing up a hand and removing the few stray strands of hair from her face. He cupped her face gently, looking downwards at her and trying to keep his signature smirk down and away from sight. "You're a mess," he muttered, head shaking, "But a good mess." Tipping her head to the side a bit he began to plant more kisses along her neck. The night was only just now beginning to start.
"Funny, I always thought it was the devil who’d get the most lonely," she said wryly. "There are plenty of angels out there, after all, and only one devil." She yelped in surprise as he grabbed the lighter from her, shooting a long, menacing glare at him. "What the fuck?" Taking a cautious sniff, all she smells is the vague lingerings of air freshener. "You don’t have to be uncivilized to smoke inside, asshole. Do I look like a cavewoman to you? Don’t answer that." Tossing her hair, Beatrice reached over him and grabbed her lighter back, shit-eating grin on her face. "If you need me, I’ll be on the balcony doing caveperson things. Cave drawings and all that stuff. You’re free to join me if you decide to stop being so fucking uptight."
He watched victoriously as she lost the small taunting he had thrown at her. "Damn right you'll be on the balcony doing caveperson things because there's no way you're lighting a smoke stick in my apartment." Despite his bickering with her he gave a long, drawn out sigh, standing to his feet and trudging towards the door as if it were the worse thing he'd have to do. "Yeah, I guess I'll go," Deacon groaned, opening the sliding door and shutting it before she had time to join him with a smug grin.
Blaze couldn’t help himself from thinking the words were slightly insulting. He thought he was good enough to draw Deacon out of his lazy state for at least ten minutes. When he caught the boys attention, he rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m implying. Did it hurt your pride a little? I’m so sorry.” With sarcasm laced in his voice, he moved forward, taking a swing at one of Deacon’s legs with the bag. “Come on. If you’re nice to me for a few more minutes, I might actually give you a go.”
He stared towards Blaze incredulously, wavering his hands about as he tried to catch up towards him. "Give me a go? You might give me a go? What am I, a merry-go-round?" Deacon whined, brows shifting closer together as he gave the boy a glare, "I don't even want you to consider anymore. If you will excuse me I'll be beginning my phase of pouting and giving you the silent treatment."
"Are you seriously trying to cop an attitude with me right know when you’re in the wrong ?" Gwen pressed her lips together tightly before she turned over her shoulder and started walking towards her drawers. "I seriously can’t be around you right now, I’m leaving.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, God he was such a fuck up. "No, come on now," Deacon suddenly began, taking a step towards her and closing the drawer she'd tried to open, "I'm sorry. I screwed up I know but look you can't just leave."
"The books spread across the table and the post-it notes all around the apartment wasn’t a hint enough that I was studying ?? It’s common sense, Deacon!” Ella looked back down at her books, her hand brushing the back on her neck, knowing her snappy attitude was getting the best of her. “I’m sorry that studying three cases and memorizing a whole glossary of definitions caused me to forgot that information. But y’know, I’m only one woman, and my studies come first.”
"All I'm saying is you could learn how to do some things without putting yourself first," he muttered out as calmly as he could. Of course her studies were important but so was some of the things he'd needed.