the hardest part about loving her, is dealing with the ones that love her too.
specifically, the ones that refuse to let her go, let her be independent, and try to influence her decisions. the ones who feel inclined to treat her like a victim.
surely, you can understand. right?
the inconvenience of being forced into reality through the cadenced knocks on the door. having to perform concern while my brow furrowed, avoiding direct eye contact with the body camera as the officer introduces himself. mumbling something regarding a welfare check. analyzing the way his posture stiffens as she shuffles up to me, her cold hand resting on my forearm as she asks if anything is wrong. the assisting officer's gaze oscillating between his partner and her worn down eyes. politely asking for her name, commanding her to come outside to talk about what's been going on.
feeling her grip tightening before placing my hand on her back. her sigh of frustration as she hands me her phone, stepping forward. "it's her. god, fuck her". me standing almost too still as the officer's block my view. hearing her faint voice explaining that she's safe and has no intention of ending her life. watching the officers nod in understanding, the dispatcher's voice alerting them to a real emergency through the radio. my eyes looking down to notice a notification on the screen flashing quickly- a text from her best friend. who might as well be her stalker at this point. my eyes being met with a wall of text frantically apologizing for "doing what i had to do", citing the fresh cuts and scars on her arm. somehow trying to merge that into a pathetic confession of love that never disappeared- love that only grew over time. the incessant begging and pleading to "come back home". apologizing for being the reason she cuts. apologizing for pressuring her to meet up when i was at work.
the funny thing being– neither of them unaware that i know about their recent interaction. the pathetically obsessed leech unaware that those cuts were inflicted by me during passionate intimacy.
the deceitful betraying bitch in front of me unaware that the next round of cuts won't care about her pleasure. as our phones are turned off and thrown in the safe, she'll wish she would've thought a little harder about what the police were truly asking her. as she's bound with rope to the motel toilet with widened eyes, she'll wish she would've noticed the officer glance in my direction, then back at her. wishing she thought about me for once, instead of bitching about her. she'll feel her heart sink as she realizes she should've always done the one thing ive asked: been honest with me.
but instead, as strings of blood fall from her arms and drip slowly off my boot, adding to the pool of it beneath her trembling legs, she'll feel the drop in her stomach. her beautiful eyes plagued with fear will look up into mine- penetrating through hers. the duct tape adhesive will peel at the corners, contaminated with her tears and saliva-- something a firm and quick slap to the cheek will fix. she'll coil inward at the realization that the parasite was right when they warned, "you should've never left. you'll never find someone as forgiving as me."