Dope-Ass Fresh Prince

I’m from a funky fresh universe you losers haven’t heard about before; Universe 409. All other me’s must be jealous, I have my Spidey.

[wadewilson-409]

🎶 Somebody come get her she’s dancing like a stripper 🎵

@webbitch409

[webbitch409]

I want a divorce

[official-clint-barton409]

This will give me nightmares.

[natashaaromanoff409]

I could do better

[official-clint-barton409]

I don’t doubt it

[wadewilson-409]

Spider Dance Off!!!!!

[wadewilson-409]

🎶 Somebody come get her she’s dancing like a stripper 🎵

@webbitch409

[youknowwhoiam409-deactivated202]

Mr. Stark, I have to ask. Is there any reason, any at all, that you have yet to use your riches to... Oh I don't know, fix my fucking suit?

What the fuck did you do to it? Give it to me, i’ll fix it!

[webbitch409]

I didn't do anything! It's just.. Broke!

[youknowwhoiam409-deactivated202]

The multimillion dollar suit that I BUILT for you just broke?! 

[webbitch409]

I'll ask Wade if he did anything but maybe you did a shit job building it!

[youknowwhoiam409-deactivated202]

Excuse me, webhead? What did you just say? And why would Wilson have even been around it?!

[webbitch409]

.... Are you kidding me??? @wadewilson-409 you might have to explain this one.

[youknowwhoiam409-deactivated202]

Do you have something to tell me?

[webbitch409]

... Are you kidding me?? Why don't you look at my first post.

[youknowwhoiam409-deactivated202]

Oh, we need to have some words about your sass, webhead.

[webbitch409]

I'm a grown man and you're not my dad

[youknowwhoiam409-deactivated202]

I might as well be! If it weren’t for me, you’d still be swinging around in fucking pajamas!

[webbitch409]

I made that costume myself! It wasn't fucking pajamas!

[wadewilson-409]

You can choose to believe that I either accidentally ripped the suit before jumping Spidey’s bones, or you can believe that sometime when the webhead isn’t around I like to put the suit on to build self confidence and while in the suit I went and got a hot dog because people always seem willing to give spidey a free hotdog. And while sitting up on a building eating said hotdog, I got attacked by a giant bird who not only got away with the hotdog but also ripped a hole in the suit as it used its talons to push me off the building.

[wadewilson-409]

Me, watching a video:

Video: Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Sticking my dick in rotisserie chickens

Me: I wonder what that’d feel like.

Me: why don’t you find out?

Me: okay bet.

And that’s the story of how I stuck my dick in a rotisserie chicken.