xxx @waifupillowz - Tumblr Blog

[audio transcript]

Woman: He’s fine. He misses you.

Man: Give him my love.

Woman: Will do.

[woman looks at ridiculous oversized bird]

Woman: SQUAWK

Bird: SQUAWK

THE END

Good to know shitposting has been around since the inception of cinema

if anyone gets matched with me on matchmaker, i am sorry 💋

any time the gossip posts i feel like this 👀📝 as if i know who anyone is or what is ever happening

my follows are always bad and i just embrace it and let it stress everyone else out

it is important that i am a little weird and offputting. necessary even.

give it up for day 2 of my headache <3

normalize flopping. it’s ok to fail baby. sexy even

the amount of people saying "i thought you meant flopping on the ground". target audience

i don’t see why a “hung jury” would be a bad thing? we love big dicks

we need to kill britney’s dad

free britney's dad from life

Team “I imagined a scenario too hard and it upset me”

doing standup in alaska is making me realize that i’m one more broken heart away from running into the woods and just living off the grid

god i wish i knew what was going on……… ever

mutuals let's sit at the end of the dock and splash our feet in the water while we watch the sunset

i had to take robitussin and now i feel like the deflated girl from those don’t smoke weed commercials

why do i feel like i’m dead in a ditch today

xxx