Wammys Little Murderer

If L's a genius, I'm an extreme genius. If L's a freak, I'm an extreme freak. You've met the World's Greatest Detective - Now get ready for the World's Greatest Criminal. ((Same URL - Different B. Same rules apply; read the Warning page beforehand. Let's try again.))

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Found:

[deductivexcreativity]

     His first comment intrigued her. Just… who was it she was dealing with? All she could figure from that statement was that people had pretty big expectations of him. With that noted, the brunette simply gave a thoughtful tilt of the head. 

     She understood his wish to know who she was, but what caught her attention was the phrase ‘not your name, I know that’. That made her a little uneasy. What made it even more confusing was the fact that he seemed to know little to nothing about her other than her name. Evelyn brushed this aside for now. She would definitely ask him about it, but the girl decided it would be best to answer his question before getting to her own. 

“I guess…” Hm. Who am I… really? An exchange student? A detective? Just some stubborn teenager? “Well, I’m an… unofficial detective, I guess. I run a blog and help solve cases. I’m also a lot stronger than I appear. There’s… really nothing much to say about me, besides that.” Nothing that I’d be willing to share with a criminal, of course. “In short… I am E, and that’s all you need to know.”

“You said you know my name? Yet you don’t know me at all.” Evelyn kept a steady, contemplative gaze upon the other. “I’m curious as to how that’s possible. How do you know my name?”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

“An unofficial detective who runs a blog? So, basically, you’re nothing more than a little girl who wants to play the hero? Ridiculous.” Beyond snapped, not sure what annoyed him more; the fact she was trying to do the job he was raised to do or the fact that she genuinely thought she was good at it. 

“Unofficial detective,” he scoffed under his breath, shaking his head. “Stupid girl.” 

The killer met her gaze again, clearly unimpressed by what he’d heard so far. “It doesn’t matter how strong you are, love. All that matters is if you know how to use it and how skilled you are in fighting back. I know a small, weak girl who could kill you in a few seconds if she wanted to. Hell, I could kill you if I wanted to. You wouldn’t stop me.”

“Well, little miss detective, if you’re so good maybe you can figure it out for yourself. You can give up at any time but if you don’t impress me enough before you do - I won’t tell you. Just a warning.”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Found:

[miss-to-oh]

She clenched her fists for a few seconds. No, it wasn’t worth it, he was trying to provoke her; he wasn’t going to win.

“I don’t cry,” She rolled her eyes. “You are mistaking me for someone who gives a crap about what you have to say.” Now leave me alone.

[wammyslittlemurderer]

“If you didn’t give a crap, you wouldn’t give a physical reaction, love.” Beyond stated, glancing down to her previously clenched fists. 

“Although I think that’s a lie. I wonder how much it would take to make you cry... Maybe the death of a loved one. Maybe the risk of your own death. We can find out, if you like.”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Found:

[scrxll-a]

The other’s answer just caused him to shrug, the blonde already starting to lose interest in the conversation. Mundane versions of fun usually ended up with someone getting hurt. At least that is what he had seen on the beach.

But the water? The sand and the surf? Now that was interesting.

“There isss plenty to see!” Ayumu’s voice came out with more of a hiss than he had intended, but his excitement quickly took over. “It depends on what you’re looking for. I do not enjoy the crowded areas so much. Too noisy… and sssmelly.”

One human was okay, but a massive crowd, sweating like pigs in the hot sun was enough to keep him far, far away.

“I can show you the tidepoolsss? It’s much quieter and hasss just as good a view of the water.”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Is that just a lisp or something a bit.... more? 

Beyond smiled and nodded, glancing behind him at the crowds of people again. Beaches weren’t really his thing anyway. Nor were the people. He could get to that later. 

“Alright then. Let’s do it. Sight-seeing with a stranger, what’s the worst that could happen, eh?” Beyond laughed slightly and motioned for him to lead the way. “You seem quite enthusiastic about this place. Fond of seasides, by any chance?”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Found:

[saligiare]

The woes of this poor human were of little concern for Belphegor. The gravity of the situaiton, whatever that was really, escaped the demon completely - for one because this was not his house, for two because his mind was occupied with something completely different. And was it his fault that the other’s bathroom had been too small to withstand the demonic dimensions of his body before reorientation? For real.

“I’m not familiar with human pipe systems.”, came the reply from somewhere near the living room. It was a blatant lie, of course Belphegor could have fixed something as simple as some toilet mechanics, if given the tools. The point was, simple and clean: He really didn’t want to.

“Maybe you should call a plumber.”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Dear God, he was serious. 

Beyond clenched his fists as he watched the other search his home. The home this... this... creature had invaded without permission. With a quiet huff, Beyond stormed into the living room, collected the landline and walked off again. There were calls to be made and repairs to be done and no time to waste in the long run. The floor already squelched when he walked. 

“Maybe you should call a plumber.” Beyond mocked under his breath. “Bloody bastard, coming into my home and ruining everything within the first few minutes. Don’t know who he thinks he is.” The killer was flicking through the contacts when he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. Taking it as just the stranger coming to search this room, Beyond scoffed. “Look, mate, this is my house and I’m not moving so you can look for some made up cr-” He stopped, noticing that the thing very much wasn’t human (or whatever the stranger was) and frowned. “Great, just what I wanted. More visitors.” 

He popped his head out of the kitchen door and shouted to the other. “What did you say your missing thing looked like again?”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Found:

[theprojectofangels-a]

“Tch.”

Seems she had a thing for running into people who didn’t realize when sarcasm was applied, then again she didn’t really do well to deliver said sarcasm so she’d excuse it this time.

“I’m not actually being serious.” A pause was given, comparatively, Crystal was ‘less human’ than her, the older woman making a point every now and again to prove that. Or at least, Yoki thought that’s what she was doing. There was always the chance that Crystal just didn’t realize what she was doing.. actually that was a higher chance than her previous thought.

“Oh please, allow me to entertain the thought of your ‘number of things’.” Not like she had anything better to do.”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

“That’s a shame, I would have been more interested if you were. Instead you’re just a boring, moody little girl.” Beyond muttered, shaking his head as he turned away from her to look around for his next interest. 

He didn’t know how long he’d stay around for if she didn’t have anything interesting to offer. Not that it was her fault. He just had a short attention span and a bored Beyond was not a safe Beyond. 

“Hmm?” he asked, looking back to her for a brief second. “Oh. Right. Well. Any number of things really. I mean, I’m technically meant to be a detective or a ‘solver of crime’. I’m a genius - there’s no arguing about that. I’m hilarious; clearly. I’m a criminal and the best there is. And a murderer. And a disappointment to a lot of people. Let’s not forget that one. But don’t bother your pretty little head about me, love. It’s not worth the trouble.”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Found:

[romantiicise-blog]

Issak debated his next move. Drop the knife, or leave it. This man could be dangerous, extremely so, or he could be harmless. The blonde wasn’t stupid, only kind of ditsy, and when it came to self defense he was skilled. Only because Mello and Matt made sure he was. They didn’t tell him how to behave in these situations though. Nothing this specific. Issak eventually decided to just put it back in his pocket. before opening the door to let the stranger in. It wasn’t as if he couldn’t get a gun. They were hidden all over the house.

“A job?”

He raised a brow as he leaned against a wall and waited for the man to enter.

[wammyslittlemurderer]

“Clever boy.” Beyond muttered, patting the boy’s head as he slipped past and into the room. 

He took a quick glance around, taking note of anything that might interest him or be concealing something else. There wasn’t much he wanted to pay particular attention to but it was always a good idea to take inventory (so to speak) when going into a strangers house. Beyond dropped down onto the couch and stretched his legs in front of him before looking up to the boy. 

“Alright, so, let’s talk business. Your parents taken you along for any jobs yet or anything?”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Found:

[miss-to-oh]

She looked at the man who began speaking to her with a scowl. What gave him the right to speak to her like that? What gave him the right to speak to her at all? You are nothing special, you think I care about your opinion? She thought with disgust.

“I have heard that people look so much better when they keep their mouth shut, but it seems that you were unlucky enough to have no improvement.” She said dryly.

[wammyslittlemurderer]

“Ouch, burn. I’m going to need therapy to get over that one.” Beyond replied, clearly unimpressed by her attempts to shut him down. But who knows? She could be fun to bother for a few hours at most. Not worth throwing away yet. 

“What’s wrong, love? Did I hit a nerve? Are you going to cry? ‘Cause - spoiler alert - I don’t tolerate crying women.”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Found:

[deductivexcreativity]

Even if he was a lot more clever than your average criminal, she had decided to go through her usual methods of getting a confession from them. It was a silly move on her part, and she knew it, so she reluctantly switched the device off.

A genuine conversation without being recorded was better and more insightful than a completely impersonal conversation that had been recorded any day. 

“Smart. I hope you’ll forgive me- I had to take the same measures I would in most situations. We’re no longer being recorded- but the device stays in my bag.” She also released her grip on the can of pepper spray and took her hand out of her bag altogether. In retrospect, she believed that her own martial arts would be just as effective if it became necessary.

The girl stood her ground- perhaps out of sheer arrogant bravery or perhaps she genuinely thought he meant no harm yet- and studied him with a contemplative expression. 

“If you have questions about me… I’ll answer what I want to answer. So… I guess it depends on the question, if you think about it.”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

“I should hope I’m smart... I know a  lot of people who’d be disappointed if I turned out not to be.” Beyond remarked, slipping his hands into his pockets. He had a knife or two hidden away but he didn’t think he’d need them. Not yet anyway. She seemed smarter than that (or at least, that was what he hoped).

He’d anticipated that answer, although that didn’t make any difference to him. He’d get what he wanted even if he had to force it out of her in the end. This just meant he got to play for a little longer. 

“I expect you to allow the same from me then. If you decide not to answer mine, I’m allowed the same luxury. But I don’t want anything too extensive - mostly just to know who you are. Not your name, I know that, but who you are since you think yourself good enough to take me on.”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Found:

[dxsole]

“Such a smart cookie you are.”

Jasper had never called anyone, let alone a grown man, a smart cookie in his lifetime and that revelation caused him to giggle uncontrollably for a few seconds, his laughter dying down to a few wheezes. “I apologize. I’m not usually this…silly? If silly is the right word for it.”

As Beyond told his side of things, Jasper continued to sip, nodding every so often and never letting his calculating gaze leave the man. Even in such a silly, intoxicated state, there was always time to calculate. “The chances. The outcome. You know, if you were educated in statistics you could easily deduce outcomes without even being in the room. I had a colleague- short man, refused to admit his hair was thinning- that was obsessed with numbers. He could tell you the odds of your wife cheating on you by a whiff of her perfume.” The blonde paused to gulp down some more from his glass. “Got into many fights because of it.”

As quickly as it began, his ramblings stopped, another wheeze like laugh erupting from his lips. “ An ex? Sir, I am an old man with no time to bounce from woman to woman. Nor is there any lack of success in my life.” He gently placed his throbbing head onto the bar table, glancing up at his companion with a large grin. “No, no. I did something very naughty, young man. Very, very naughty.”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Smart cookie? Who does this man think he’s speaking to? 

“No need to apologise, mate. Guess we all get a bit giddy after having a few.” He commented, glancing over the the two strangers very briefly. “I can’t tell if you were fond of him or annoyed by his mere existence. But he sounds interesting really. Is the guy still around?” 

He might come in handy one day. Or maybe he has an ‘extra’ ability too. 

“Doesn’t matter how many fights he got into as long as he won the majority of them.” Beyond took a sip from his glass, wondering just how many times this stranger was going to laugh at things he’d said. “I don’t see why age has any effect on your ability to go between women. I can’t imagine settling down to be much fun after all...” 

He had Beyond’s attention with that, he’ll admit, but there wasn’t anything he could imagine this one could have done that Beyond hadn’t. “Naughty? And just what might you define as ‘naughty’? What did ya do? Kill a guy?”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Found:

[booksandfangs-blog]

“You know something was up even before you saw them, didn’t you?” she grinned, green eyes shinning brightly, like a cat that found a canary to play with.

“I might answer some of your questions, if you do the same. But first, we need to find a good place to chat without being bothered”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

“Something like that, yeah. Was raised to be observant, shall we say.” Beyond commented, glancing over her very briefly. 

There was a chance he’d get to learn her secrets and if that meant answering a few questions, well, why should he say no? Nobody ever said he had to tell the truth. “How secluded were you thinking? Somewhere still a bit public or somewhere completely out of the way?”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Found:

[expert-de-couteau]

“Heh- yeah, I guess you’re right about that one,” She agreed. Kali herself had little approval of the decisions both her biological and adoptive families had made.

“Oh? Well, I guess that depends what interests ya I guess,” She replied with a shrug. It wasn’t really her business what did or didn’t interest him. He wasn’t insistent on taking things from her, and she wasn’t about to object to a bet like that. Especially when there was no way he would win anyway. It would be nearly impossible for him to guess such a name as Kali Kamara. Her name wasn’t common at all.

She caught his glance and instinctively moved her hand up to her forehead as if she might find something there-  a scratch or bruise, perhaps- that may have drawn his attention. She found nothing and covered her actions by pushing a few stray strands of hair from her face. 

A quick smirk curled onto her lips at his guess, “Nope. Wrong. Guess again, darlin’.”

[wammyslittlemurderer]

He grinned as she lifted her hand, merely adding her to the list of people who were painfully aware of where others were looking. Although it was human nature really. Stare long enough and anyone would think there’s something wrong with them. 

“Sorry. Was just staring into space. Nothing wrong with you really... well, nothing worth mentioning.” Beyond joked, resting his arms on his legs as he looked at her. 

“What? I was wrong? Damn. Really thought I had it that time. But, in saying that, who’d even think of guessing Kali Kamara? Abbie Smith is a much better guess in my opinion.”

[devliann-deactivated20201212]

Beyond Birthday.

I can’t draw feet. Especially not after midnight. :D

[ir-no]

[deactivated-blog]

Aidan:

“You can’t really do shitty acting when you’re on a horse, you know, Seamus made up for it. He’d give a little neigh and we’d go again if it wasn’t much good.”

[demelzahcarne]

John Mitchell + smoking

[sonny-f]

[wammyslittlemurderer]

Your headcanon may be supported by canon, as B is canonically implied to like puns. Akazukin Chacha's humour is pretty much entirely word-play based

//Wonderful news. Everyone’s favourite serial killer may be canonically a sarcastic, word-playing idiot.