Lost Soul @wandererwithmistyeyes - Tumblr Blog

Im in a rigged race which I will lose for sure

And I can’t opt out

My maker is my destroyer

And no one else!

Seems like my world is crushing again!

So be it

Not like it is the first time

Just that… m tired of this repetition

Wanna stop thinking about it

Anyway it is inevitable so go ahead fall apart with a bang or silently

You choose and go on

I just wish to dissociate and be not a part of it anymore… coz what’s the point of dealing with it when it’s of no use and it’s a cycle anyway!!!

Can we just take like rite of passage thing and call it a day!

Can we just stop underlining it can we just let be on its way and get out of this way!!!!

Break down, explode, disappear, burn/freeze

Do it on your own!! Can we? Just this time…

When you have been dealing with your parents mess whole life

It’s normal to not want children anymore

You never got to be one! You never saw what parents are… coz you were busy parenting your parents!!!

You fucking frustrate me

All the issues of self respect in this world are with me

Other people treat you like shit and that’s fine

You will go back to check if the trash is still trash

What an intellectual you are

Let me go! Why am I dragged along like a thing you own…

Enjoy the shit you like so much but free me!!

You asshole

How do you hold back the craving of something that doesn’t exist

Or at least for you… it doesn’t !!

I wanted you to thrive in my world and forget the pain of yours

Instead you pulled me back into yours

And I gave up

I want too much

That’s why I can’t have anything

How can one divorce their parents!??

It didn’t hurt when I heard you say those words

But they were lodged in my chest

And slowly they cut through every muscle and bone to reach my heart

And they are stuck there hanging

They say if it doesn’t matter in 5 years let it go

But the scars left by parents don’t work that way

They stay… never fading… just there like new

And I will treasure this one

I might not understand your mind while you went through with it

But I know mine and in any world I never deserved it

You can’t treat me like this

I won’t let you again

You will never touch my hair again

Even if I burn them myself

You will not get to pour water on them

Ever. You cut what you sow and its sorrow! Resentment! I have nothing to neutralise it with!

Not any more! I’m tired and tattered

Don’t resent me for not being able to let it go

I won’t I can’t

One day I just stopped sharing everything with you

You were only one who were an exception

But then I can’t ask for anything from you

Even a bit of attention

Nothing… it’s that type of relation maybe

Where you don’t realise so you you say nothing

Where I realise everything and say nothing

I can hate and destroy very good part of me

But

No one really cares

People closest to you will just blame you

Despite being the reason

Anyone else ever notices that we are trying too hard

We are doing more than we can

Repeatedly and tirelessly

In a loop

I wonder if anyone ever sees it

I think I’m wasting my life

I think she is the reason for it

Little bit of whatever that makes it bearable… she is taking all of it

And wants me to smile while she does it!!!

You always hurt me

And I know that you know

But I can’t confront you

Maybe I’m hurting you by being hurt

I hope this vicious cycle ends!!!

I don’t wanna be right or anything

I just want this grip on my heart to loose

I want to feel like myself

Oh! But I always wish you pull the trigger…

But you don’t 😔

Someone on my side! No matter the circumstances

I can always rely on

A shoulder to cry on

A hand to hold

Eyes just looking at me

Too much right! But this or nothing!

I feel like everything that’s breaking around me is somehow mimicking my breakdown

And it’s painful to watch it

Does anyone who sees my wreckage feels the same

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Lost Soul