Shakes his head, straightening up. “Yeah, I do. I don’t want to upset you.”
“Contrary to what everyone seems to believe,” he says stiffly, “I do not get upset easily. I was once an angel of the Lord. I believe I can handle whatever it is you want to say.”
He pauses, looking up at Cas nervously before speaking. “I don’t want to go. I want to stay here, with you.”
“Oh,” Castiel says, puzzled for a moment. “Well, I suppose I understand. No being wants to cease existing.”
“I wish I could pretend that I’m the real Dean so you would love me,” he continues, his pitch rising with what appears to be anxiety. “Drifter seems to really like me, but it’s not what you and Dean have. I just wish you really cared about me, not him.”
“Oh, uh,” Castiel starts, clearly uncomfortable. “It’s just…Dean and I were close, of course, a-and uh…” he rambles, unsure of how to handle the situation. It seemed that Dean, in any form, was always the one to fluster the once cold and emotionless Castiel. He gulps, and tries to continue. “It’s not that I don’t care about you, that’s…that’s not it….” He felt at a loss for words, looking at the increasing pain on the hunter’s face.
“You don’t have to lie,” he mutters quietly, getting to his feet. “I know how you feel about him. I’m just the one in the way. I know what he means to you so… So that’s why I’m going to help.”
Castiel stands too, worried.
“Help? How are you going to help?” It doesn’t even occur to him to dispute the claims that this Dean has made; secretly, selfishly, humanly, it was what Castiel felt: everyone was just in the way of his Dean.
He turns quickly, pressing his lips to Castiel’s in an awkward kiss before raising two fingers to the former angel’s temple. It’s a struggle for him, but he manages to use the Grace inside him to send the other male into a deep sleep. Easing him back down onto the bed, he smiles sadly.
Glancing over to make sure Drifter is still asleep, he makes his way to the apartment’s kitchen as casually as he can. Locating a knife sharp enough, he slinks away into the bathroom and finds a blank patch of wall.
“Hopefully I can remember this,” he mutters quietly to himself, setting the blade against his skin. When he slices through enough to draw blood, he bites down on his lip so he doesn’t make a sound. He scoops up a bit of blood with his fingers and starts drawing on the wall. A circle is followed by numerous odd symbols until an angel banishing sigil is formed.
Drifter awoke with an eerie feeling in her chest, she lifted the book that had been on her face and looked to see if the boys were still sleeping. Noticing that only Cas was there made the feelin intensify as she sprang from the bed and bolted down the hall. Her eyes quickly darted noticing all the sigils still intact then to the door. All the locks still fastened. She turned to see Sam and Gabriel researching.
“Where’s Dean?” She asked in a fit of panic.
“I think the kid just went to the bathroom..” Gabe answer looking at Drifter like she was mad.
Drifter sprinted down the hall to see Dean stand there holding his arm. Her eyes look to the wall beside him.
“Please don’t,” she begs knowing the sigil and know what he is planning to do.”Dean I beg you don’t..”
“If it’ll make Cas happy,” he begins, glancing over his shoulder. “I need to try anything I can.”
He turns back to the wall, about to activate the sigil when searing pain erupts through him. He doubles over, trying not to scream as what feels like fire pulses through his veins. Slumping against the wall, he slides to the ground and grits his teeth to turn a scream into a high growl.
Drifter runs in her knees hitting the ground as she wraps her arms around Dean.
"Damn it Dean... Sam! Get the fuck in here I need help!"
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