aro thoughts

loveless! aromantic she/her 22

[aromantic-diaries]

"everyone should get more aromantic" can appeal to tumblr's sensibilities but I genuinely think everyone should also get more asexual. I don't mean everyone stop having sex, what I mean is

Sex is not essential. You can live without it. Full stop.

Not having sex isn't shameful or a sign of failure. It also doesn't make anyone boring.

You are not entitled to having sex with anybody and nobody is entitled to having sex with you.

Sex is not what makes someone an adult.

Nobody's worth is defined by how much sex they have or don't have.

Sex is not equally important to everyone.

You can have fulfilling and happy relationships without sex.

You should only have sex on your own terms, not because you feel like you owe it to someone, or because you feel like you'd be incomplete without it.

Know your boundaries around sex and be firm about them. Know how to respect other people's boundaries.

The previous point also applies when it comes to discussing sex. If someone doesn't wanna talk about it or hear about it you have to back down.

Anything can be sexual but not everything has to be sexual.

[wannabehuntress]

Happy be aromantic time to all aromantics

[steviecrowdude]

love is in the air? wrong. evil skull

[natalinova]

every time you feel the urge to say "love doesn't have to be romantic" to a loveless aromantic person, consider: how likely is it that they've never heard that before?

[genderkoolaid]

part of the problem with amatonormativity is that if you aren't interested in a long-term monogamous relationship people assume you will be a miserable empty incomplete shell of a person so you have to insist on your ability to be genuinely fulfilled by things other than marriage/monogamy/romance/etc. but at the same time society is shaped in a way where not being interested in those things can easily make you alienated, between marriage and reproduction being depicted as natural life stages that everyone needs to go through to be a fulfilled adult and it being considered standard to prioritize your romantic relationships over your platonic ones. and if you ever express loneliness or anxiety or guilt over this experience then people take that as proof that you just need to Find The One to make you realize that all your feelings and desires were actually just immaturity/fear of commitment/trauma this whole time and the societal norm IS the only way for you to be truly happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[xylocope]

Saw something that pissed me off so imma just say this

Yes, aplatonic is a fairly niche/small label as of right now. Yes, a lot of people don't tend to know about it - it's fine. In an ideal world yes aplatonicy would be more known, but it's not. It's okay to not know everything, so sometimes yeah you might make an ignorant slipup. And again, that's okay.

HOWEVER.

If you, the moment an aplatonic person says "hey [x thing you said] wasn't really cool towards aplatonic people and was kinda exclusionary, you should rethink that" and YOU go "No it's okay for me to say this because that's a niche label, therefore I'm allowed to be as exclusionary and mean and stubborn in my mindset as I want" you are Not being a fucking ally, you're being aphobic lmao.

Same goes for other 'niche' labels btw! Someone telling you to rethink something you said because it might offend a group of people is NOT them calling you a bad, horrible fucking person, don't treat it like that! :]

[aromantic-diaries]

Some aros reject the concept of love altogether and others redefine it for themselves. Neither of these is the wrong way to go about it. The wrong way to go about it is being an asshole.

[automaticsoulharmony]

I can’t take this anymore guys

Head cannoning a character as ace is not infatilizing a character. It does not mean the character is childlike or not mature.

It means I think they are asexual.

If you are head cannoning someone as ace because they act childish, that is not infantilization. That is aphobia.

If you associate asexuality with childlike behavior, or the other way around, you are being degrading to the asexual community

We are not children- asexuality is not childish, it is just like any other sexual orientation.

Ace people aren’t inherently childish, and childish people aren’t inherently ace.

Asexual people are just like anyone else, it is a sexual orientation, not a behavior is something they will grow out of, it is an identity.

[angry-loveloose-loveless]

i feel like someones opinion on lovelessness, or aplatonic/afamlial/asensual/other less known aspec identities lets you see how they really think about aspecness as a whole.

Are you really supportive of aromantic & asexual people if the idea of someone being aplatonic is too much? Because it really feels like someone being aromantic and/or asexual is only acceptable if they make up for it somehow.

Being aro and/or ace should not be an identity that has to make up for anything. Not only does it make the identies seem like something that’s negative or makes someone “lesser” because they don’t experience romantic or sexual attraction/love, it harms aplatonic people.

If the idea of someone not loving period doesn’t feel “right” to you, or that sounds impossible, then I’d ask what you really think about aspec people. If you can wrap your head around not feeling romantic or sexual attraction/love, not feeling various other forms or not feeling any period shouldn’t be that much more difficult to understand.

The only thing I can really guess is that you either don’t really thing a lack of attraction is possible, or you view being aromantic & asexual as lesser and needing to make up for the identity with platonic and familial relationships/love. Which isn’t true support. Excluding part of the aspec community makes you aphobic. If you can’t support aplatonic, asensual, afamilial, or any of other lesser known aspec identities while viewing aromantic and asexual ones as the only “valid ones, you are aphobic. And I sincerely doubt how much you actually support aromantic & asexual people to begin with.

[heartless-aro]

I want to live in a world where aromantic people and asexual people don’t have to lie to our doctors and therapists about our orientations to avoid them attempting to “fix” us, find an “underlying cause” for who we are, or take us off necessary medications like antidepressants just in case they’re “suppressing our emotions”. I want to live in a world where openly experiencing a lack of romantic and/or sexual attraction is not a barrier to receiving adequate healthcare.

[pingo1387]

Whoa, this film opens up with the main character saying she rejects the idea that you need to fall in love/get married to have happiness and she isn’t interested in finding a partner, surely THIS time she won’t fall in love by the end of the movie

[pingo1387]

You guys will never believe what happened

[wannabehuntress]

Aro people can date in the exact same way lesbians can date men (its totally possible and doesn't change anything about their orientation but has some unique flair and most people don't really Get It) but many out there are ok with one of these things and not the other. And it's not because they support aro people its because they're willing to overlook their 'rules' about sexuality for the sake of amatonormativity.

Need these people to broaden their understanding and let people do what they want and also realize that they do in fact know that most people don't want to date people they aren't attracted to and stop suggesting it for aro people

[foenixed]

"Aroace people aren't against shipping" I am. Learn how to write close and deeply weird friendships.

[fleshhater]

[mouselikething]

hey gamers how does one like. figure out if theyre aromantic or not. like what if im just vibing. aromantics how did you figure it out… need some help

[wannabehuntress]

The trick is that it doesn't actually matter if you technically *are* aromantic, just try calling yourself aromantic (at least in your head) for a while and see if it works to explain your experiences as they happen. If it stops working, stop calling yourself aro, and if it never stops working, congrats welcome to the community!

[sortingmyideas]

If a character is implied gay fandom will strike you down if you say they aren't.

If a character is implied aro/ace fandom will strike you down if you say they are.

You never* hear "WeLL, aCkTshUallY-!" until is comes to bold stripe aro/ace characters.

*Because I know some people love to read my posts and then run in the opposite direction of the point, this is not to say other sexualities don't suffer from erasure. Just that aro/aces seem to deal with it significantly more to the point where fandom as a whole has a painfully noticeable double standard that no one seems to want to address.

[itsaceokay]

I shouldn't feel like I have to come out to get people to respect my life choices. When I talk about not wanting a relationship or children, people should accept that I don't want them, regardless of my sexuality or life experiences.

My decisions might make more sense to people if they knew why I was making them, but my reasons are irrelevant - everyone deserves to have their choices respected, especially when they concern things as serious as marriage and children.