another part of getting incredibly fat⦠you stop doing certain things, and then you forget how to do them.
i was trying on a bathing suit bottom with these cute strings to tie on the side, and i just. couldnāt for the life of me remember how to tie them? and it got me thinkingāi havenāt worn shoes i had to tie in well over a year.
i could barely reach with both hands to make the knotāmy tits were in the way, my belly filled the space i had to reach over⦠i got exhausted just trying to reach
i wear things thatāre easy to get on and easy to get off. i canāt bend over too well because my belly is in the way. itās starting to hang so, so low.. and i canāt even reach my feet anymoreāif i tried to paint my nails it would be exhausting, iād be out of breath in seconds
it makes me wonder whatās next. will i forget the little trick i use to get bras on? will i forget how to hoist myself up off the floor sometime in the next 100 pounds?
and then, when i finally get to those ātoo big to live alone without a caretakerā sizes, what will be next?
clumsy, fat fingers unable to button up shirts. the same overly softened hands struggling to hold a fork, eating without utensils is just so much easier.. canāt reach around my belly enough to button any pants, either, itāll have been years (and hundreds of pounds of lard) since i could even see what iām doing, anyways
itās motivating, it makes me hungry. just thinking about these possibilities makes me want to eat. i want to be useless, dependent, so fat and soft and hungry it scares everyone around me