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@warboundhellhound
"Is that a baseball metaphor? Isnât a swing still a miss? A miss or a miss⊠Doesnât make any sense. Alright, I can set the charges but, I canât shoot at the same time."
"...Man, you must be a riot at parties..." Reloading a fresh clip into his Mattock, he sighted up another target and squeezed the trigger, a clean center-mass hit. "I can shoot just fine, and I'm not even drunk yet."
"Iâm great at rolling with things. Itâs the âafterâ part Iâm worried about."
"...Really? T' be honest, the 'after' part all depends if stage one is a swing or a miss, y'know?"
+ mxmentumis liked your post
"Look, I'm not saying it's a bad idea, I'm only asking you to just roll with it."
whew it's been awhile on here hasn't it? like this for a starter if you please.
[ she reached up to push his face away with her free hand, laughing. ] âOh, could you? Itâd make me feel much better. How dare you try to avoid traumatic brain injuries. Shit, Iâm the one that charges into walls, and Iâm perfectly fiâok, shut up. Donât say anything.â [ at least she did actually wear helmets when sheâs out in the field. after all, biotic shields could only fend off so many shots. And how else would she be able to blast angry pump-up music and drown out the Brass-slash-Councilâs orders? ] âSee? Exactly. You know how she is.â [ she inclined her head ever so slightly at the kiss, not unlike as a cat raises up to meet a hand trying to pet it. That is, until he continued to talk. Which, naturally, caused her to twist and bury her face into both her hands. The silence was only an impending sign that the next phrase out of his mouth were going to beâyep. that bad. Though shaking her head in mild disbelief, she jokingly pressed her shoulders against him to arch her back suggestively with a false, sultry purr in her tone. ]
"Mm, howâd you ever guess? Itâs almost like you know what I like~ââ [ a snort as she turned, another playful slap this time to his chest before laying her head in his lap, angling towards the screen to watch the opening scenes. "Fuckâs sake, youâre awful.âÂ
[ at being pushed away, he playfully pouted before what she said next brought the grin back to his face. ] " Oh, I don't have to say anything. You did that all yourself with what  you said. I didn't even have to contribute at all. " [ no, there were other things he got in trouble for, usually signing his orders off as Unless Otherwise Directed and committing to radio silence while in the midst of a LRRP. That got his CO real drinkspilling nervous to the point he was swearing blue in the face once Kane comm'd 'all clear' ] " Unfortunately, I do. I can guess the dildo in my bag was her way of giving me approval? The subtle 'go fuck yourself' was...nice, I guess. I mean, it's now being used as an ornament in the barracks. I'm not even going to go into the messages she leaves me on my terminal. " [ although, seeing the false sensuality brought his attention snapping back to reality, not much like waving bacon in front of a dog's face. but, it went exactly as expected, getting slapped and her going back to watching the movies. ]
" I know I'm awful, but you're the one who signed up for it when you took me in. You should've gone for a pedigree rather than a mutt. " [ snickering, he presses himself back into the couch to get comfortable again ] " Then again, things haven't been that bad, eh? "
"Oh, yeah, thatâs right. Over on your branch of the âLliance you guys give two shits about rules; I forgot,â [ she snorts. anyone else would probably have to deal with red tape and bureaucratic nonsense to even look at the tech crossovers of either the crew of, or the ship itself, for being the biggest asset of the Allianceâs claim. then the rare signs of affections and humanity that Shep happened to show from time to time? bonus. and, hell. Nika could think of worse people to have happened to fall for let into this little hidden spot ] âIâdunno, she might be like one of those predators where giving her the resistance just gives her more of the târill, who knows.â [ she takes one more good-sized swig from the bottle as he hit the button, quickly settling back into her previous position pressed into his side, head against his chest. ] âReally? Sounds like one hell of aâoh my god,â [ she drops her head in a laugh, removing her hand from under his to slap at itâgently, more or less. relatively. but she quickly nudges it back under, trailing knuckles back and forth against his palm. ] âOh, but I could think of a few things missing that the movie canât do though.âÂ
" Yeah, screw me for wanting to keep my beautiful and immaculate mug intact. How inconsiderate. If it's any condolences, I'll go smash my face into the wall a few times to try and liven it up " [ of course he had a smart-ass grin on his face. sure, he could go with a visor or even the recon hood, but his helmet had an excellent HUD and plus, it was easier to blast Akrona or whatever was tickling his fancy at the moment ] " ...Actually, yeah, you're probably right on that one. I remember you saying a story about a time she picked this guy up at a bar and threw him out of the bar through a window and then curbstomped his dumb ass right there. " [ smirking, he leaned down slightly to plant a kiss on her head before she pulled away to laugh. the playful slap was cute to say the least. ] " What? Like a dildo shaped like an old Lancer complete with light-up lights accompanied by a sound file that is a car being driven around a track? " [ then he appeared thoughtful for a moment as another idea crossed his mind ] " Actually, I think they got something like that on Omega complete with gas-line anal beads for accompaniment. "
[ she simply angles her head upwards to meet his stare with a smirk, as he answered his own question without any input on her part. Smart man. ] âI wondered if yeâd figure it out on your own~â [ Turns out the saviour of the galaxy didnât even need English class to learn how to get her point across effectively. Never mind the bit ofâŠleverage she had in this case. At the squeeze, she lets a small laugh and startsâoddly soothinglyârubbing her thumb in small circles against his hand. ] âSee? Exactly. Sheâd have too much fun and youâd know exactly why.â [ another laugh, this one more prominent, while her free hand reaches for the bottle. A shrug, before she drinks. ] âI might~â [ and she leaves it at that. shuffling in closer and changing the topic immediately in her own evil little way. ] âSo! What kind of movie did you end up pickinâ out?âÂ
[ just rolls his eyes ] " I'm a bit slow on the uptake, yes, but I don't have any significant head trauma. They get cross when you don't wear a helmet in the field. Luckily, they're very lax when it comes to customizing and the like. Speaking of which, I gotta talk to Garrus about the mod he uses in his visor for pinpoint accuracy. " [ that was the beauty of it, being able to swap tech and tips between Delta and the Normandy crew. plus, he got to cuddle with the commander on off time. what wasn't to like? ] " Yeah, well, I wouldn't go down without giving her a black eye at least. I may be Recon, but I love explosives. Cherry bomb in the toilet is always a riot. " [ willingly passes off the bottle and reaches for the remote. so, she did know a poison expert. ] " You're a terrible liar, schÀtzchen, I would say don't quit your day job, but, hey if you did, then I'd get more time with you. " [ snickers and presses play on the remote and settles back into the couch, now letting his free hand rest on hers. ] " Old flick from waaaay back when. Called 'Death Race'. Guns, racing, violence. Should give you an orgasm. Maybe. "
[ Alright, so maybe this wasnât awful. no matter how much sheâd deny admission of that fact. As he pulled her closer, she didnât try to make it more difficult. She even moved in a bit more of her own accord. âŠBefore a shrug, and taking his suggestion literally. An angling her her head, and she nipped at the skin of his arm. ] âAw, how sweet.â  [ a light prod at his side, then shuffling herself around to twine their arms together, thin and calloused fingers slipping between his. ]  âNiin. I wouldnât do that tâye for callinâ Jilani. Briâd have too much fun with that. Iâd probably end up callinâ someone versed in poisons, tâmake it last.~â
[ At being nipped, he just slowly swivels his head to look down at her and just stare. ] " Jeez, if I'd known you'd take that so literally, I would've suggested something else you could nip~ " [ ...wait a damn minute... ] " Actually, don't answer that. " [ Words were never his specialty, hence why he joined the military instead of paying attention in English class. Then again, that plan seemed to work out just as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. ] " Bri would take her sweet time making me suffer, like lighting my hair on fire and skinning my dick with an old-fashioned potato peeler. Then she'd ask which hurts worse. " [ The thought makes him shudder and he takes a healthy swig of the vodka. ] " Thankfully, you don't know any masters of poison....do you? "
[ well, it was worth a try. ]
"Nn, Ă©ist do bhĂ©al." [ she draws her knees up under herself, adjusting her position to elbow him in the ribs a few times until she can take full advantage of him as a pillow. Comfortable enough in multiple ways, even her accent begins to peek through more prominently. ] âYou do that and youâll be signinâ your own death warrant, sydĂ€nkĂ€pynen.â
" Ach greim dom. " [ So he was going to be a pillow? Eh, there were worse fates than that. This one was actually one he prefered and reciprocated the feeling by putting his feet up on the table and pulling her closer. ] " Ticket is already punched. You'd just be expediting the process. I'd rather it be you rather than anyone else. Just don't sic your sister on me. "
[ the fingers stop for a second, feigning thought. ]
 âBut I havenât killed you yet. Doesnât that count?â [ a moment to slide down the cushion, snuggling situating herself between him and the couch. ]Â
"But you tell anyone about thisâ" [ chin now resting on his shoulder, close enough to brush her lips against his jaw. ] âand I might have tâkill you.âÂ
[ s q u i n t s ]
" No. Not really.  " [ smirks at her snuggling situating into him and wraps an arm around her waist. ] " Mmmm...now you're just tempting me to call up that al-Jilani person and tell her that the great and almighty Commander Shepard is a big snuggly kitten under all the ice and bitchiness "
[ snorts, vaulting up to sit on the back of the couch. Itâs a good vantage point for the fingers she starts raking repeatedly through his hair. ]Â
 âOh, come on. Tell me exactly what you expected different.âÂ
" Well...lemme pick a reason. "
[ smooth. real smooth. ]
" A lil' gratitude would be sweet. I even picked out a decent movie that we could agree on. "
"Because youâre some kind of idiot savant or somethinâ~?Â
" Ouch, kotyonok, ouch. And here I am tryin' to get movie night working for you, but noooooo gotta be all insulting! "
[ âŠ.descends from the ceiling hello ]
" How did I know that would work? "
[ slowly opens the cap of the bottle of vodka ]
"Is this your way of tellinâ me to go rob a place so you can get it now? Because I will. Donât tempt me. Do not encourage me.âÂ
"Do it."
"Oh, yeah, because thereâs no way I can ever go buy any more? Prick.âÂ
"I was trying to enjoy it now, excuse you."
"You said youâd never forgive me, why canât you try?"
"Because that was the last of the Bowmore. Of course I'm pissed. You bitch."
