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@wardonx43
A Nice Long Walk #130
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Totally my philosophy of adventuring
Augmented Climbing: this combines climbing and video games, using computer depth sensor and video projector
Now this is awesome
Being Emotionally Distant from Everyone (feat. the xNTJ thing)
“You xNTJs are like robots, that`s amazing.”
Like nope. Here is the thing - I feel enormous responsibility towards some people. I would do anything for them. They can call at 3AM and I am there. I enjoy their company. I enjoy our times together and shared experiences. But at the same time, if they just disappeared from my life, I feel like I could cope without many problems.Â
My little sister told me so many times this weekend how much she loves me, misses me and enjoys time with me. I am not surprised. She can talk to me about anything, I create things with her, I entrust her with details about my life and she entrusts me with hers in return. In every way, it would seem like a completely loving relationship.Â
Only I don`t miss her when she is not around. I am more emotionally hit by writing this than when I don`t see her for a month.
I can cope with literally anyone not being around for any period of time.Â
Meanwhile, I physically care for people - I am on time, I do stuff they like, I say things they love hearing for support, I can be brutally honest and entj-like when they need help, and they can depend on me. When my mom was sick during the weekend, I treated her like a queen and prepared for Christmas like a maniac so she didn`t have to (although I have the finals week ahead). I also like having a certain number of close friends and invest in relationships with them a lot of time and energy.Â
I am only scared I am not able of deeply loving anyone. I used to once. And the physical pain of not being around the person was really annoying to me in the long run, especially when the relationship ended. On the other hand, I do not think this is desirable, I don`t think this is a great xNTJ thing and I sometimes have the feeling we are very emotional. That we are much more than “those feelers” because they are strong enough to let people hurt them.Â
Nobody can hurt me, and that fact alone is starting to hurt me.
I can relate to this. I am an INTJ. But as a psychology nerd and minoring in counseling, I don't think this is caused by MBIT, this seems to me to be related to attachment theory. I do think being an Fi rational predisposes you to this though. Here is why I think this happens. Having a low emotional/ social IQ and finding it difficult to learn fluency in emotional expression is a weakness that take work to fix. xNTJ's are passionate and when something or someone matters they give their all. But when that comes to emotional connection.... Well at a young age that means putting the raw emotional self into a relationship. So when that results in pain, even from say a parent going on a weekend vacation. The separation causes pain. Physical pain since you gave most of yourself to another who is not there so now you are two pieces. The low fluency means that the young person cannot express the pain. And they don't have a way of releasing it. So it stays inside. As a result they build a wall and make sure their emotional self stays inside. They become self reliant, strong, and not easily touched. They use their rational sides mostly to try and deal with the emotional, hence the scathing sarcasm and murderous thoughts, they are emotional release. This is why rationals have a problem handling another's emotion. They would need to remove walls and connect to provide empathy and support. So they either freakout or develop a procedure ("ie, tears 1 find out good or bad, 2 if bad provide chocolate, napkins and listen nodding and making sympathetic noises, 3 care physically for them. Ie clean, cook...) To avoid vulnerability.
Though this is very helpful in dealing with the masses and the acquaintance, it does not allow the individual to connect, often results in isolation, and escapism (tumble connection, gaming, books, passions) they can almost be obsessive because then they don't notice the isolation and hard feelings.
That is why writing g about a distant loved one will hit you harder then not seeing them for 6 months. You have built strong enough walls to contain emotion but when forced to look at it, hits you.
As a father I notice how vulnerable my toddler is to emotional upset. In talking with my mother I found out I was the same way. Easily affected. But I never knew how to express it so I would either get angry or shut down. I was showing myself as an intj from that age as well. My son is showing all the cognitive functions of an xNTJ as well. But knowing now what I needed I am trying my best to teach him emotional literacy.
As I go through counseling and being married to an INFJ, have begun to learn emotional literacy and raise my emotional IQ. I have learnt to only give parts of myself into a relationship that equal to the importance of the relationship. Parts that can grow back quickly. Think of it as donating a bit of blood. It grows back quick and it you Dont give a lot there is no pain felt when it is gone. But you can then build genuine connection and loose the isolation.
When I am separated from my wife or close relations, for a time (like a week climbing trip) I feel the physical pain in my chest and elsewhere but I can name it and release it, (often in notes I write and give to her when I get home) it never becomes something I regret. Because I have been taught how to deal with emotion.
Just like some find math easy and not English, so it is with emotion and rational thinking. Some find one easy some another xNTJ are predispose to the rational and struggle in the emotion. But I can and I am learning and changing.
MBTI is about showing your strengths and weaknesses so you can understand other, and your self, then learn about and improve your weakness.
So you are not stuck like this... change. To fix the callus so you can fill the core need of humanity to be connected to another. Not everyone but at least one. Learn to open up and to handle pain. Handled properly you will still be strong and ineffective because you process it, and release it so you can then function and love them more.
Sun illuminating Cerro Torre & Fitz Roy, Patagonia [OC][893x1339] - holy-shot
I would attempt a summit
Setting the Parameters
INFJ: so are you okay with using the word snide in the sub title? It is a little harsh but I can't think of a better word.
INTJ: yah it works.... Besides our comments are that harsh.
INFJ: ...
INFJ: true but I don't want to be that way
Maybe children do it right when they worship the postman, garbage man, people who operate cranes and diggers, instead of admiring the toxic wastepool of Hollywood that we adults seem to.
INTP: So you have around seven hundred followers, which is the most followers you have had on any kind of social media. How do you feel about that? What do you plan to do with that following?
INTJ: Wait until the world ends so I can gather them together and wait until the crazies start to form. Then as an organized regime we will take cities and become warriors and slowly our power will grow until I am the SOLE RULER OF NEW EARTH AND THE WORLD WILL KNOW THE NAME OF-
INTP: You have thought about this many times haven't you?
INTJ: ... too many
Scandalous!
When you love snow
Things my INFJ wife says #5
"I am not worried about how careful you are being I am worried about your dex mod!". In response to our kids emphatically assuring us about how careful they are being in claiming on and off the table....
Marbles
Clacking marbles, that’s all we are— Apathetic, bouncing off each other, Passing by without a care or even waving. Isolated, that’s what we are— Tombed in splendid homes with gates and shutters, All-consumed with our own comfort, Living in excess with bloody footprints In our wake from those dehumanized for profit. Selfishness concealed by friendly smiles and Sunday manners Making us look good without the inconvenience of caring. Victims of our fear, our walls become our prisons. Sanitized to death, we lose our souls. Could there be hope for more than this? Our lives could grow together, intertwined More closely than a twisting vine; our hearts May choose to love— Unswerving, wildly, recklessly, Not bound by fear, but leaping headlong into life In all its broken, dirty, pain-filled glory as These grapes are crushed together—can’t you see? You were not made to be a clacking marble.
The Legend of Ulric
i am currently participating in a co-operative story writing/ RPG call Captives. each writer writes the same number of days from the perspective and experience of a specific Character. my Character happens to be a Bard, so one of the activities he does is tell legends and tales. in this last chapter the legend had to be omitted for editorial reasons though it is posted as it’s own serial at this link
http://captivesrp.tumblr.com/private/171386954252/tumblr_p2gj62KSne1vip2wg
check out the entire story if you like. it is fantasy adventure set in tribal britonian type age. though it is not Briton. it is fun, my pen name is Kosef Prince if you wish to follow my Character Murchadh Â
The Wind
The wind is calling me, Its siren song echoing across the sky Catching the trees in its turbulent embrace Sweeping down from the skies to grace the earth with a kiss While leaves scuttle and dance down the street. The wind is calling me, Winding its way past the pages of time Pausing by a viewpoint high above the evergreens Rocky crags surrounded by stunted oak and smooth arbutus Where the ravens soar and dance on a radiant autumn day. The wind is calling me, Beckoning me back to the shores of the sea Where breakers roar and crash on the rocks While the wind sends glistening spray skyward And there is salt in the air. The wind is calling me, Sweeping aside the cold concrete of the city Unveiling a haven where the world is wild and green I find myself following ancient paths With wonder and adventure around every bend. The wind is calling me.
If I tell an elaborate lie, people believe me. If I tell the flat out truth, people think I’m lying or being sarcastic.
Truth
INTJ Problems
Knowing enough to see it coming, but not enough to stop it.
