i'm that guy your parents warned you about

Kendall Barns | 18 | Son of Ares Son of war, so take that into account as you wish. My life used to be perfect, and I hated every single moment of it. I don't bite that hard. And when I do, at least I'm considerate enough to pick a place that doesn't show too much.

[nesleextoulouse]

[warloving-ken-doll]

slutbookwormandproud:

Damon Salvatore + 170 years old dangerous vampire… ~♥

[isabelasherxx]

drisendellabeth + text posts

[crackshipsandmore-rph-blog]

Dianna Agron & Ian Somerhalder

[warloving-ken-doll]

Nnnghh...

[claire-snyder]

Is that how this happened? Out of nowhere, you were just knocked out and it turned out to be aliens who were trying to abduct you? Sounds legit. Although… how are you still here then?

I don’t know how you manage to forget that. I try very hard to be extra mean and somehow you always forget. A damn shame. As long as you weren’t drowning in it… Nah, even that isn’t much of a consolation. It still smells terrible. And it’s far from healthy. Do I look pretty when I’m frowning down at you with two heads, too?

[warloving-ken-doll]

Definitely how this happened. It's only rational. Um... oh! Got it. They sent me back as a peace offering between our galaxies, to prohibit any future wars. I'm a literal gift from above. 

Pretty sure this is a symptom of an aneurysm. Like, 89% sure. Hm? Oh, no. I was drowning for sure-- I think I need CPR, STAT! I'll spray myself with Febreeze later. Nope. Absolutely not. You look goooorgeous. 

[warloving-ken-doll]

Nnnghh...

[claire-snyder]

You’re okay now, aren’t you? I think the moment just passed.

That’s what I’m here for, after all. I’m just reminding you! Can’t have you forgetting how very special ed you are. No one here could fill that role half as well as you do. Yeah, hold on. Eurgh, you reek of booze. What, were you bathing in it?

[warloving-ken-doll]

Mmm, I dunno. Now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure someone did knock me out. Definitely didn't fall asleep out here-- Chiron's made sure I've learned my lesson. Which means only one logical explanation... Alien. Abduction. 

Heehaha. Of course not, it's unthinkable. Kind of how I somehow forgot just how much of a meanie bobeanie you actually are. Psh, no. I was, um... swimming in it, most likely. Anyways... hey. Hi. Have I mentioned how pretty you look with two heads?

[warloving-ken-doll]

Nnnghh...

[springtimes-scion]

Well that’s a matter of opinion. 

It must be a fabulous world of delusion up in that pretty head of yours. A very rich fantasy life. 

Well apparently you didn’t get the memo out enough. 

[warloving-ken-doll]

Oh, didn't you know? The only one that matters around here's mine. 

Neverland. I'm actually the second star to the right. And let me tell you, it's grand. 

Ugh, whatever. Needed someone to beat up anyways. You new around here? 

[warloving-ken-doll]

Nnnghh...

[springtimes-scion]

Oh you’re just the most charming of drunks aren’t you?

Sadly that isn’t the first time someone’s called me Asshole Webb… but someone it feels less effective coming from someone barely maintaining coherency. 

Kendall works… i’m not really in the market for another overlord. 

[warloving-ken-doll]

Correction: I'm the most charming period.

Great minds think alike, then. Hey, hey, hey. I have my coherency. I have it fully. I'm just choosing to let it not control me. Live wild and free, right? 

Another? Well that's not right, I specifically called dibs on the entire world. 

[warloving-ken-doll]

Nnnghh...

[claire-snyder]

Good, you’re alive! I was wondering for a moment, actually.

Most people, yeah. I can’t usually bring myself to break their peace. But you had this funny little scrunch in your eyebrows and you were blaming Drake for something under your breath… It was too tempting to leave it alone. Consider yourself special.

[warloving-ken-doll]

Come on. There's got to be a tear in there somewhere. A hint of potential remorse? A kiss of life just in case? 

Should've known anything remotely pertaining to 'peaceful' would be botched around you. Puh-lease. Of course I'm special. I'm very aware of that. Now help me, because I've fallen for you and I can't get up. 

[whiskey4damon]

[warloving-ken-doll]

Nnnghh...

[springtimes-scion]

Honestly? Yes… yes it does. But I see you’re opting for the classic “hair of the dog” approach. A bit trite and overdone but, whatever works for you. 

Asher… Asher Webb. 

And you? Aside from profoundly hung over

[warloving-ken-doll]

Yeah, well... nobody worth listening to's asking anyways. Hmph, trite and overdone's my specialty. Doesn't hurt to never stay sober either. 

... Welp, nope, tried but failed. Still don't really care enough to be grateful to you disrupting my nap, Asshole Webb. 'Profoundly Hung Over' sounds good, but Kendall works too. I prefer 'master overlord' the most though. 

[warloving-ken-doll]

Nnnghh...

[claire-snyder]

Psst… psst… HEY, KENDALL!

…oops, did I wake you up?

[warloving-ken-doll]

All I wanted was a cooki-- Gyah! ... Ah! What?! What the hell?!

... Heart-attack. You're going to give me a heart-attack. Honestly, isn't it, like, sacrilegious for you to disturb someone's nap, princess? 

[warloving-ken-doll]

Nnnghh...

[obviously-another-dumb-blonde]

Hey… Hey. Open your eyes, loser. You need to see the judgmental glare I’m giving you. 

[warloving-ken-doll]

Paasss. Can I call a pass? I'm tagging Isabel in-- she's stronger than I am. She can survive. 

In fact, you two can probably merge your judgey glare powers together. It'd be more than enough to rule the world. 

[warloving-ken-doll]

Nnnghh...

[springtimes-scion]

Well… that looks fun. 

Need some water?

[warloving-ken-doll]

Ugh... does it look like I need water?

The answer to that's 'no', just beeteedubs. Only one true cure for a hangover, after all.

... Who the hell are you? 

[warloving-ken-doll]

Nnnghh...

I don't wanna... hrmph... It was Drake, I swear... 

[cecilia-baum]

I am so close.

[cecilia-baum]

Okay, gross.

Please tell me you don’t actually know where to get a human sacrifice…

[warloving-ken-doll]

Okay, fine. I won't tell you. Just saying though, this is exactly the kinds of loopholes I love to exploit whenever my dad tries to ground me.

But seriously though. What do you need? 'Cause I can get it. And if I can't get it, then there's always thievery, threats, and-- my personal favorite-- seduction.

[gr4d5tud-deactivated20150324]

[cecilia-baum]

I am so close.

I can feel it.

[warloving-ken-doll]

That's what she said. 

Hey, can I help? What can I do? ... And that was all in a non-innuendo context, just beeteedubs. Do you need a human sacrifice? I can totally get a human...ish... sacrifice.