𝖒𝖞𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖋𝖘𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖜

𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒃𝒚 𝒂 𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒇𝒐𝒐𝒍.

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

The day of birth, full of solitude.

Tags: character kin, au, might not follow the original storyline, Earis angs,. it's my 18th bday:)

As the muffled singing of the nobles sounded like their voices were underwater, the candles burned brighter to the point my eyes stung as it drowned out everything around me. I don't know if this was sadness I was feeling, or happiness about the party my mother held for my birthday. The tables were filled with gifts, not the things I wanted, but what my mother expected. Jewelry, clothes, and shoes , but not books about traveling or some maps of the places I wanted to go to. I sat at the end of the table, staring at the cake I didn't want or the food I never asked for.

I thought celebrations like these were supposed to be about me, what I wanted. Instead, I felt like I didn't belong to the crowd. My eyes drifted to my mother, surrounded by nobles from Serulla or from another city. They came, yet they didn't even greet me at first. Maybe I should feel selfish for once; even my own mother didn't come to celebrate it with me personally earlier. She said she was busy, but I saw her come to my older brother's gravestone.

My eyes went back to the cake in front of me again; the flames danced so beautifully it caused tears to gather in the corner of my eyes. Was it because I'm happy? Either way, it doesn't matter anymore. I couldn't wait for this day to pass any quicker. I softly blew the candle out, wiping away my tears subtly.

"Happy birthday to me."

"We could have anything, but not everything."

—wastedtearsnsolitude

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

The one that got away but it's Dontis x Hunter.

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

I'm kind of worried for Zsaku.

I followed his patreon for a while (for announcement, no money involved) and it just notified my email that he will be taking a break. Since his cat's death, Kimahri, the mascot of crumpets, I subtly noticed the changed of his tone on his previous videos. It was unfortunate that he will be taking a break, but he shouldn't feel guilty for taking some time for himself. I only wish happiness and wellbeing for Zsaku, he is one of my motivations to keep going after all. Until then, we should respect his choice and keep supporting him no matter what. We love you, Zsaku.

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

Patreon havers really got me being excited of graduating college and having a job.

Also, imagine the wealth of the Ilves family. Like I kind of assume/ headcanon that they have separate money, aside from the tax of its people, they have enough rukls to afford a mid-rank noble family since they are allegedly one of the founding families of Serulla. Earis got that generational wealth.

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

I feel like a victorian wife waiting for my husband to arrive from the war whenever I wait for the next noble trials episode to drop.

Also, it's been a while since I've been active here. Update, I still have that mental block on writing. Though, I have been reading some literatures (bl manhwas to be exact cuz why not) to inspire me on writing. I also saw some earis fanarts here, it makes me want to bend over or spread my legs because of how good the art is. Have a good day/night/afternoon.

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

Nevermind, you were never mine.—Earis x Zaros Angst.

Tags: Angst, yearning, character may be out of character, unrequited love, one sided, very short post

The Earis doesn't really do love, no, not that they don't have any experience on it, but the bearing the their trust to another? they can't do that. So when the Earis got mad that Zaros confessed his feelings towards them, they can't help but feel nauseous, scared. He was their friend, nothing more. They couldn't imagine a future with him, a fairytale ending to the tale of their love that didn't exist.

Zaros tried to move on, he really tried to. But how can you? Their smile, the way their eyes lit up. It's like the sun shone up in like warm light on his life when they met. So when the coronation and wedding of the chosen suitor of the Earis has arrived, it was like he's been stabbed on the chest multiple times. They were supposed to be his, they were supposed to be his constant. But what right does he have? They were never his to begin with.

—wastedtearsnsolitude

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

What fanfics to expect on my next uploads:

-Zaris Angst

-Zaris Angst

-Zaris Angst

-Modern AU Zaris

-Fantasy Au (Dragon slayer or another siren Au)

P.S: Most of it are occur to change, I'm still reading some manhwas that can inspire my writing since I'm on an mental block rn. I'm busy this April too, with my medical requirements and ongoing enrollment for college (yey, I passed the exam and secured my biomedical engineering slot :D) and my senior high completion activities for graduation. Also, feel free to suggest any AUs :) it will help me dearly.

—wastedtearsnsolitude.

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

One day, I am gonna grow wings.—An Earis angst.

Tags: Solo character, angst, isolated, I can see the world but I can't feel nor touch it.

They say that the world is beautiful, full of life and colors, a paradise that humans deserved to live in. They described it as the best art that the gods made. But for the Earis? They didn't believed it. They see it through books, through the words of the nobles around them, through the echoes of the eminence's teachings. They perceived the world as ugly, gray, neutral. How could they really know the truth, if in the beginning of their life that they have been sheltered, locked away inside the castle doors? Their mother said it was to protect, to make sure that another child won't be taken away from her grasp.

The Earis didn't question any of it, of course, they never dared to go against the rules that their mother laid out for them. She's the one who gave them life, all the least they could do is obey and act out the fate the eminence laid out for them.

But could you really call it life if you're not living it? That's the question that has been buried deep on their heart and mind. As they grew up, they spent most of their time watching the kids from the window sils of the castle walls. Watching as the kids smile and play, or the other nobles travel, the life that they wanted.

Ironically, the Ilves crest represents birds flying. In the books and metaphor, birds represent freedom, hope, and to travel. All the things that the Earis can't do and can't have. They wished that they grew wings, to soar above the sky and to feel the fresh breeze from the trees, to travel at the places they've been writing on their journal, to feel the warm and wispy grass underneath their feet. Yet, they remained on the castle, not because its their home or they are scared to let down their mother, but its the cage that they grew up in and they had no experience what it means to live.

"I rather be covered in scars than being locked up, because there I would have evidence that I finally escaped the cage I'm in."

—wastedtearsnsolitude.

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

My last wish for you— The final act of love by Dontis.

Notice & Tags: No, this isn't canon. Since we don't know if Dontis lived or not. Angst(?), farewell, character death. I used he/him pronouns for the hunter since I based it on the m4m version on saku's patreon.

The pain of being stabbed isn't new to Dontis, being an incubus, being hurt, tortured and hunted are his thing after all. He spent his life running with no clear path of escape on his fate. He came to terms and accepting that death will claim his life in anytime. But why? Why does he feel scared when he felt the blood from the stab wound flows out, mixing with the water that is pulling him closer in the deep? Maybe because he isn't really ready yet, that he promised that he will come back to him, the hunter. He didn't even say goodbye properly to him, he didn't even had time to see him again.

Dontis knew he couldn't escape this time, he had no more strength to swim back up. He's sure the hunter will be mad at him, that he will be left all alone again. He doesn't want this to happen, he didn't plan it. He planned that after escaping Audric, he will come back to the hunter, and spend the rest of his time finally living with him. But Dontis made a promise to Xanthus, and he is a man of his words. Maybe the hunter will understand, or no, Dontis knew him very well even in a short time they spent together.

The water finally pulled him down on the ground, like a child getting lulled to sleep. He didn't expect death to be so gentle, like he was just like putting into a deep sleep. He left a note, leaving all of the wealth he had at the hands of the hunter. He wants to leave him something, it may not be his heart, but something he worked hard to get.

Dontis had craved sex like a man possessed before, But when he met the hunter, now its not just because of  the thrill, the afterglow of it , but maybe the gentle touches he was given by him, the soft kisses on his skin. It was like the hunter whispered the meaning of life on their silent nights together, planting love on Dontis' very core. Even in the cold grasp of death, he will bring his love towards the afterlife.

─────ೋღ 🦋 ღೋ─────

The hunter's hand trembled, his tears dropping down his face as he read Dontis' final letter for him. He collapsed on the floor, like kneeling to some god wishing and praying that this is all a nightmare he can awaken from. His eyes gazed at the final sentence of the letter.

"Even if our time together is short, I wish you eternal happiness and love. The brightness of your smile will guide me to paradise."

—Forever yours, Dontis.

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

The glimmer of life I found along the shore. — a Siren! Earis x Fisherman! Zaros AU.

Tags; Siren Earis x Fisherman Xaros fanfic, just a short story, not canon, characters are out of characters, fluff, romance, strangers to lovers trope

It was always the same routine for Zaros, wake up, eat, and go out to sail at the sea. The same rinse and repeat, a life he's already used at. He didn't dream big, or not at all. After living at the nearby shore alone, selling fishes for a living, he can somewhat tell its enough for him.

He knew solitude are his best friend, the only thing that is constant on his life. People come and go, sometimes they gave too much and he got overwhelmed, or he gave too much and left nothing for himself. A contradicting thought has lingered on his mind, that he doesn't want to die alone, by the sea. He sometimes prayed to the gods for a little miracle, an anomaly on the system he called "life".

It was night, the moon and the stars above twinkled like a mockery at Zaros as he stared up the sky. The waves softly hits his barefeet near the shoreline, a half finished wine bottle on his hand. He was busy letting his mind wonder on the darkest thoughts on his mind. The movement on the water near him made Zaros tensed, he turned his head side to side to find the source. Then, he noticed it.  A fish tail, too big to be identified as a fish and too small to be called a shark.

Zaros gulped, thinking he drank way too much. He shaked his head, before turning to leave. He stopped on his tracks when he heard a voice talked to him.

"You always stare out the ocean, are you looking for something?", A figure slightly peeked at the rock formations nearby. They look human, but not really. Their fluorescent scales glistened under the moonlight, like a star shining bright on the dark blue sea, like a light finally flickering on the darkest corners of Zaros' life. Zaros didn't felt fear, or maybe he was drunk enough not care.

"Didn't knew fishes could talk.",  the creature rolled its eyes as it propped their self better at the rock formations. Their fishtail hangs beside them, the breeze softly blowing away the fins.

"Stupid, do I look like a fish?" , Zaros studied what they look like. "I mean...  you do look the part a bit."

"I am a siren, call me Earis.", Zaros' eyebrows perked as the creat—no, the siren introduced their self.

"You shouldn't just tell your names to the strangers you just met, it's dangerous."

Earis scoffed, flopping their sirentail on the other side. "If I knew you're dangerous, I wouldn't be here at the first place."

Zaros scoffed, he sure can't deny the truth in their words. "Well then.. My name is Zaros Atha'lin."

The siren perked, "Zaros..", they muttered to themself. "It's a beautiful name, it suits you. It's a shame you always had that look on your face. Smiling would fit you a lot more."

Zaros' tensed, he couldn't deny yet again the truth from the siren. It seems like they just knew what to say to make him feel things he hasn't felt for a long time. His eyes studied the siren for a long time, before letting out a sigh. "I'll give you a reward if you make me smile."

The siren was taken aback on what Zaros said, "Alright then, I'll take up on your challenge."

And from that day on, they spent countless of their times together. Either on the land or sea, they just peacefully lived even if they were from different places, like pieces from different puzzles that just miraculously fit perfectly. On the orangle glow of the sunset, Zaros finally smiled. The Siren, Earis, was bewildered on the beauty they just saw, and didn't care for the reward anymore because on that smile alone, was a treasure they both earned. A glimmer of hope and life that shined so bright in the grey skies to the deepest part of the ocean, that helped two beings find the missing pieces of their heart from one another.

—wastedtearsnsolitude.

[hajii07]

THE AMOUNT OF AMAZING ZARIS SMUT AND FANFICS THESE PAST FEW DAYS HAVE ME SCREAMING

@darlin-collins @wastedtearsnsolitude AND LILLYY YALL ARE THEEE GOATT COOKING UP THE MOST DELICIOUS FICS EVERRR SPOILING THE TNT FANDOM SOO MUCH 🫵🏻

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

Callous touch on my soft skin—Brat Tamer Earis x Bratty powerbottom Zaros.

Inspired by : @ihrtdontis

Tags: brat tamer earis is now what I crave for, zaros secretly wants to be manhandled by them, I wrote this while in the bathroom. nsfw(?)

It was a very, very...  long day. The Earis was already at their limit, the constant nagging of chief healer about their wound, how their mother are always worried with every slight movement, everything. They tried to not show how pissed off they were, but their patience just had to be tested again when Zaros came in, blabbing his mouth endlessly about some stuff that they didn't bother to listen properly to him. All they want is some peace to clear out their mind, but seems like the Gods just have to bother them once again. Zaros isn't innocent in this either, the Earis are still mad because of what happened on the trial of strength.

Zaros noticed, of course. A smirk appeared on his face as his gaze studied the furrowed brows of the Earis, the slight pout of their lips. It brings him a satisfaction to test their last string of control. Zaros have no shame in admitting that he was turned on when the Earis was starting to lose control, that he has been craving to see the cracks on mask they wore. Everytime the Earis does lost the grip on their own thread of patience, Zaros would be eating it all up like a starving man he is. Seeing the throbbing veins of their hands whenever they hold something firmly, Zaros would be also wondering how would it feel if it's wrapped around his neck.

"You look like you're not in the mood, my Earis.", Zaros said with a sly smile on his face. He came closer as he stood in front

of them, eyeing out how their hands has curled into fists.

"I really am not, and I have no time for whatever your antics or teasings, Atha'lin.", Zaros could feel heat gathering on his gut. The way that the Earis said his last name, he almost knelt on the ground. He knew what it means when the Earis doesn't call him by his name anymore, and oh boy.. he want the last push before they snap.

"Are you still mad about what happened at the trial? I already told you, I didn't lose on purpose.", the smirk on his face are more noticeable, more bold. He stepped closer at the Earis, leaning in to whisper their ear. "Maybe you're mad... you must thought that I'm not taking you serious enough, hm?"

The Earis clenched their jaw hard, "You're making me feel I'm weak, Atha'lin."

Zaros chuckled, his lips slightly brushed on the shell of their ear. "I'm thinking of the opposite, but maybe you are weak. Are you angry because I pitied you?"

That made the Earis really snapped. They grabbed Zaros' wrist, hauling him down the nearby desk. He was bent over on the surface, his shoes almost tiptoeing on the ground. The Earis pinned his arm on his back, while the other lands a hard spank on Zaros' bottom. He let out a surprised gasp, he didn't expect the Earis to do this to him. All he wanted was to tease and edge them, but when did they learn all of this?!

"M—my Earis.. Ah!", another spank landed on his ass. The Earis was clearly mad now.

"Earlier you have a lot to say, what happened on that mouth now, Atha'lin? Maybe I should discipline and teach you how to act around an heir." The Earis lets go of his arm, taking a hold of his long blonde hair instead. They pulled it hardly, making him face them over his shoulder.

"I—I didn't.. Where did you learn all of this?!" , Zaros' cheeks were already flushed, the sting of pain on his bottom was sending waves of lust on his mind. Did he liked it when the Earis just spanked him like a child?!

"I told you, I learn fast. Since you're questioning what I know, maybe I shall show you."

Zaros swallowed the lump on his throat, this can't be... right? I mean there's no way the Earis will do it—

Hours had passed.

The Earis was fixing up their shirt, while Zaros? He bit more than he can chew, or let's phrase it better... They swallowed him whole, and chewed him in ways he didn't expect. His pants was discarded aside, his legs shaking and trembling after their encounter. Orgasms after orgasms, the Earis really did a number on him. The cheeks of his bottom are already red, like a cherry stain left on the skin.

Did he regret it? No, not really. He loved it, every second, every minute and every hour of it. It was like the Earis left an imprint inside him, an itch that no one can soothe beside them. It was like the Earis shackled him with a collar to behave, and oh boy... he will now after this.

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

I just saw a post of @ihrtdontis about brattybottom zaros, now I'm thinking of making a short or snippet about it. What will be your reaction if I wrote it and made earis as a brat tamer? 👀🫀

[ihrtdontis]

i whole heartedly believe in bratty power bottom zaros.

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

This gives me an idea of making a fanfic.

Brat tamer Earis x Bratty power bottom Zaros

Should I write one? 👀🫀

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

Wandering touches

TW: SUGGESTIVE

Tags: zaros x earis, earis have a slutty waist (29 inch), zaros being a supafreak, not canon, characters might be out of characters, very short fanfic(?)

Scenario; The Queen will be holding a small party for The Earis and Zaros, since the trials are almost finished. The tailor and his helpers had come to take measures of their body for the garments they're going to make.

A soft bustle of the helpers has filled the silence of the chambers. Zaros sat quietly and he observed as the tailor takes their measurements.The tailor measured him first then he watched with guarded gaze when the tailor's hand respectfully wonder on the Earis.

"I see you've been taking good care of your figure as always, My Earis. Your body are sure one of those statues from the museum.", the praise made Zaros slightly proud. He did noticed the body that the Earis have, maybe it's their diet or the training they've been busy on these past few days.

Zaros watched as the Earis turned to face him, the tailor measuring their back. The Earis stared back at him, slightly tilting their head. He knew instantly what's going on inside their head.

"My Earis, may you lift your shirt for just a little? It so I can measure your waist properly and accurately.", the tailor respectfully asked.

The Earis moved without saying a word, their hands went to their shirt, lifting it up slowly. A sly smirk are subtle on their face. Of course, Zaros was down bad staring. His eyes study as the tape gently wrapped around their waist, noticing the small flinch indicating they're sensitive to touch.

The Earis followed Zaros' gaze, his eyes going downwards on the low-waist pants. Zaros knew he shouldn't look at the Earis this way, it's disrespectful but at the same time, it sends thrill down his spine.

The tailor steps away as he wrote down the measurements he took, the helpers are also busy as they prepared their stuff to leave. The Earis slowly drop down their shirt, teasing Zaros. They waited as the tailor and the helpers left the chambers, they began walking towards Zaros, stopping at a distance.

"My eyes are up here, Atha'lin. Stare that long and something will gouge your eyes out." The Earis said with a mocking tone, stepping closer until they were in front of Zaros. "Could you blame me?", Zaros said as he looked up with a smirk on his face.

"I was just admiring an art, my Earis. As an artist myself... the sculptures has nothing to compare against you."

"Is that your pathetic attempt of an excuse? Here I thought you're checking me out.", The Earis leaned in, "I know those eyes, Zaros... I didn't know you're this eager for some skin."

"Maybe I am, my Earis. What will you do about it, hm?"

"Then do it, soothe the craving you've been drooling for.", Zaros was taken back at the Earis said. His breath coming short, his hands itching for something to touch, something that feels soft and alive. He moved instinctively, grasping the Earis' wrist as he pulled them towards to where he is sitting. The Earis straddled Zaros' lap, their hands coming up to his shoulder for support.

"So straight forward as always, Atha'lin."

Zaros didn't even say a word as his hands came up, wandering around underneath their shirt. His hands can easily wrapped around his waist like a snake wrapping around its prey. They both wanted this, craving each other like a mortal dying of thirst and they knew that both of them can satisfy each other.

—wastedtearsnsolitude.

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

The Light That Only Belongs To Me

Scenario;  Queen Roena has chosen a perfect suitor for the earis, it was a man, an heir of high status family from Serulla too. The Earis has spent half of the day with him, while Zaros has watched from a distance.

Tags: Jealousy, enemies to lovers(?), a kiss that never happened in the canon timeline, short fanfic, sudden confession, the earis are stupidly dense , drunk zaros, lightweight zaros

જ⁀➴ ♡જ⁀➴ ♡જ⁀➴ ♡જ⁀➴ ♡જ⁀➴ ♡

As the carriage carried away the suitor after a long day, the Earis watched until the gallops of the horse has faded away. They turned, walking towards the castle door entrance. Before they could even greet the guards, the sight of Zaros just standing there froze them. Has he been watching? The Earis gave a curt nod to Zaros and walked past him. 

"You look like you enjoyed your time with him, My Earis.", Zaros said with a cold voice, strained with the usual teasing tone he always used to them. 

"I did enjoy my time, I mean. . he has alot to offer in our conversation.", The Earis replied, their eyebrow slightly raised at the statement Zaros said. 

"A lot to offer. That's what you only enjoyed with him? I mean, no offense. . I can talk alot more than him, more than money or fame that he has been chattering about.", Zaros said without even thinking or stopping himself. Where is all these frustration coming from? He should be happy that the queen finally chose someone for the Earis, right? 

The Earis was surprised about what Zaros has just said. "What do you mean by that, Zaros?"

Zaros facepalmed at how dense the Earis about what he's feeling, like he's not sure too what it is, but he felt like the Earis shouldn't have a suitor when—no, no way he's thinking of that.

"I—forget it, maybe it's the tiredness I've felt after training with Halamar. I'll excuse myself, My Earis." 

Before the Earis could even say anything, Zaros walked away without looking back. The Earis just stood there with confusion plastered all over their face. They shaked their head, turning towards the opposite direction and walked away too. 

At night, where every servants has retreated back to their quarters. The Earis laid on their bed, unable to sleep. It was like a thought of checking on Zaros kept crawling back to their mind like an annoying bug who buzzes on their ears. The Earis sat up, rubbing their hands on their face due to frustration. They don’t get it why they are concerned about what or how Zaros felt about their suitor. They got up from the satin sheets of their bed, quietly sneaking out of their room. 

The sneaking towards the winery was easy for them, maybe a sip of wine can help them fall asleep and just forget what they have been feeling since earlier. They were about to enter when they noticed that the door was slightly ajar, a muffled mumbling can be heard inside. Of course, they already knew who’s inside. The only man they knew who is head over heels for a wine, what a leech, they thought. They opened the door and there they saw Zaros already drunk, one and a half bottle already down.

“Ugh, are you seriously wasting on the winery? and here I thought you’re the one who have more manners between the both of us.”, the Earis walked closer to Zaros, who’s just staring at the bottle then turned his gaze towards them. 

“My Earis? Is that.. yoouuu?”, Zaros asked, his words already slurry as the wine was already in his system. Just great, he drunk the ones who have more alcohol content. 

“Yes its me, what do you think you’re doing here, drinking away your self… and  you just had to take the bottles from an important collection.” The Earis said, their voice had that tone like the one they used when lecturing a servant about a missed spot or from their mistakes. 

“Mmmmhh..Are you mad,My Earis.. *hic* I hope you’re not mad,because you’re using that tone *hic*”, Zaros said with a slight pout with his lips. It’s an impossible sight for the Earis, they always saw Zaros with a look of a smart man.. not this drunk fool who’s now babbling in front of them. 

“What made you drink that much anyway? Is there something going on that I don’t know? Because I’m sure you don’t just drink this many without a reason.” After the words came out of the Earis’ lips, it hits Zaros that caused him to sober up a bit. 

“I just… if I became honest, I’m afraid that you’ll walk away again.” The Earis tensed at what Zaros has just said. Honesty.. maybe the truth of the feelings and tension between them are the one they’ve been running away from. Avoiding to confront it, probably it’s the fear of ruining the friendship they are just starting to mend again. 

“That depends.. what are you going to tell me, Zaros?”

Zaros was silent for a bit, like he was collecting himself on what he was about to say. 

“That day, at Astron.. when you received that damned letter and when you deemed me as leech, it was.. the worst thing that happened to me that year. I could maybe accept your hatred and torment to me, as long as you kept talking to me.. it would’ve been fine. But when you said when you don’t want to see me again? That.. that idea is what I couldn’t accept. Having you, by my side when we were at Astron.. it was the best or like the highlight of my life. I came to terms about what you’ve said, and I respected it, but never seeing you again.. it dug a permanent hole in my heart, like no matter how many partners I had, you’re just that.. irreplaceable, a history that neither of them can replicate. Then, when we met again  at the renouncement.. there’s this hope that hits me, strained but enough to think that we’ll be.. back together again.”

The Earis was speechless. They were cruel, they know.. but hearing it from Zaros himself.. it twisted their heart in ways they couldn’t explain. Maybe it was foolish that Zaros yearned for them for years, or maybe they are a fool too for feeling lonely when Zaros truly kept up to their words and really stayed away from them. It was the anger that yelled at him, the pain and betrayal they felt when they read that letter. 

They looked at Zaros, truly looking at him. The slight sadness on his smile, the flushed cheeks and those eyes.. all glassy, like it wanted to cry out the tears he’s been stopping on falling. 

The Earis sighed, “If you’re going to cry.. don’t. You know I hate it when you’re all tearing up.”

Zaros softly scoffed, “I’m not going to cry, My Earis. I already knew how my tears and sobs makes you mad.”

The Earis rolled their eyes, “I didn’t meant it like that, I hate seeing you cry not because it’s annoying, but it hurts my heart.”

Zaros perked up on what they said, “Oh? Are you feeling sad too whenever I cry? That’s.. a thing I didn’t knew about you. Well, I guess I should share something too so it would be fair.”

The Earis raised their eyebrow, “You always have much to say—”

Zaros quickly cuts them off, “I felt jealous about your suitor earlier.”

That got the Earis really frozen and speechless. 

Zaros continued, “I know your mother chosed him for you, but seeing you with him.. it annoyed me. That man, he doesn’t deserve you.. he doesn’t deserve your time or your smile, nothing.”

The Earis’ cheeks burned for the first time, like they don’t know what to say. 

Zaros came closer, abandoning the bottles alone.”My Earis.. it would be selfish of me, and I already knew I have no right to wish this to you.. but if you will and may allow me, My Earis.. I am inlove with you. My curiousity towards you was mistaken, because when I first met you back at Astron, I already fell inlove with you. I tried to drown that feeling down so much, it pains me to realize how hard I’ve fallen for the heir of Ilves, the enemy of my family and person I’m fighting against for the throne. But I don’t see you as my rival.. or the heir, but someone that breathe life through me again, the one who broke the same routine I had again and again, the one who smiled so bright.. it gave light to the darkest corner of my heart. I didn’t lose a fight for strength.. no, but I’ve  fallen and lost against the love I’ve been feeling instead of keeping up to my duties.”

Before the Earis could even realized it, Zaros was holding their hand and knelt down. It was silent, but his eyes has said more words than he did before. The Earis finally realized it, how all of this means to Zaros, how *they* meant towards him. 

“Stand up, Zaros.”, The Earis said. 

Zaros slowly stood up, the feeling of rejection or maybe acceptance that the Earis won’t share the same feeling was already getting processed in his mind. 

“I’m sorry—just forget..” Zaros was cutted off when the Earis leaned in. Their hands clasping both sides of his cheeks as their lips met. The kiss was sloppy, something that the Earis isn’t knowledgeable of, but enough to say that they feel the same way. Zaros kissed back, it was gentle and slow.. like how slow they built up their friendship from the ashes to a soaring spark that brought warm rays towards each other. 

Their kiss turned into a silent endevours of countless touches of their skin against each other, like how they craved one another since they met. No one said a word after what happened that night at the winery, but everytime their gazes met from afar.. a quiet mutuality between two people who played push and pull for so long, that they finally come to a decision to pull each other close and never let go again.

—wastedtearsnsolitude.

[wastedtearsnsolitude]

Yandere/Obsessive Earis x Zaros AU

Written in Zaros' POV, an alternate universe where he moved  back to Serulla again after what happened 8 years ago. 

TW: This fanfiction contains dark contents(not that dark), but detailed enough to warn you and scroll away if you find it gross or uncomfortable. This is also an alternate universe, which means it's not canon and not connected to the original timeline. 

Tags: yandere, obsessive, slight gore (?), first fanfic, rushed, violence, choking.

It was worse, is it a curse that Zaros has stepped inside Serulla again? I mean, the killings and the timing. . it was like everyone he talked or interacted to has misteriously disappeared or has been killed. There are no evidences tied to him that he was the killer, no motives either. It  was a dreading feeling, that he just moved back to Serulla just for them to deem him a merciless slayer. 

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ——««

It started two months ago, his mother had to take care of some business back to Serulla. His mother insisted Zaros to come with her and he should continue his study of being a curer on the place. He was hesitant about the idea, I mean who would want to come back there after what happened at Astron? It's not the place he doesn't want to come back to, but them. He's not really favored about coming back with his mother, not especially when the Earis has planted permanent fear on him. Of course, who would believe him? The Earis may looked like an innocent and respectable child of the queen, an "angel blessed by the gods" as the nobles say. He disagreed, the Earis are completely opposite, way more worse than they were glorified as. 

They were friends eight years ago, well. . if you can call obsession a normal foundation of their friendship. It started as a soft smile here and there, those warm gaze that twists his heart in ways he can't explain. . but underneath the facade that the Earis shows him, was a monster. It was subtle at first, his classmates started avoiding him for an unknown reason. It was strange, but he brushed it off like nothing. Then, there's the students who got pulled out of Astron, which was weird because those are the exact people who are the only ones that talks to Zaros beside the Earis. There were incidents too, some student "falling" off the stairs, "someone" starting a fire in their home room and many more. Eventually, the students just deemed Zaros as the culprit,completely leaving him alone that the Earis are the only one left that interacted to Zaros at Astron. 

Somehow, the Earis are still talking to him which is weird to Zaros. He thought, shouldn't they avoid him?  yet, they still smiled and talked to him like nothing has happened. Of course, the unfortunate events that happened at Astron has reached Nira's ears. She tried to ignore it at first, maybe thought it's just the noble kids spreading false informations. But oh boy, she was wrong. . very wrong. The recent incident has shocked everyone, but most likely it affected Zaros negatively and made Nira pull him out of Astron immediately. It was a bright afternoon when it happened, Zaros was strolling on the pebble path towards the small greenhouse. It was his escape, a breathe of relief against the judging eyes. There, he noticed bloodied chicken feathers, like it was intentionally pulled out by someone. He remembered that some of the staff have a pet chicken that sometimes resides on the garden or roams around Astron. The sight got him curious, the feathers was a trail that followed the path towards the greenhouse, he followed it carefully and slowly. When he finally got close on the frosted glass door of the said greenhouse, his sight makes out a blurred person just standing inside. He slightly opened the door, taking a peak of what's happening inside. What he saw made him nauseous, fear hitting in waves he didn't expected. In the branch of the oak tree inside the greenhouse, the chicken was hanging by its neck, its feathers pulled out . . some are still there, barely hanging on the skin. Butterflies scattered on the floor, its wings ripped and torn apart. It was the same butterflies that Zaros admires when he's relaxing on the greenhouse. But what shocked him the most, is the Earis. They were just. . standing there, like eyeing out some sick art. Their fingers stained with blood, assuming that they are the one who did this. Zaros was frozen, his mind was a mess trying comprehend what he is seeing. As a defense mechanism made by his mind, when the Earis turned to look at him, their face is blurred or like a voidded. Is it made so he can't truly see who they really are? or is it there so the Earis he knew was not the one standing in front of him? 

"Do you like what you're seeing, Zaros?", The Earis asked, their voice cold yet warm. . detached but with a hint of concern or curiosity?

Zaros couldn't answer, how could they do this? Doing such thing and then asking for his opinion? Are the Earis a deranged person or are they a psychopath hiding like a wolf in sheep's clothing? 

He  staggered back, running off without even looking back or answering the Earis. The following hours after what he just saw, Zaros cannot be spoken to properly. It was like he’s moving in autopilot, of course it was understandable, he was young when he saw that. When he told Nira what happened, she decided to pull Zaros out of of Astron, and the Queen paid the staff to keep quiet about what had happen. It was eight years ago and yet the image was like a permanent mark behind his mind, kept in the darkest corners along with his fear.  He avoided any news about the Earis, or the letters they sent everytime as they both grew up. 

Now, Zaros was strolling around Serulla once again. Of course, it would be boring if he didn’t have any fun. He spent some of time having an intimate conquest with some of the nobles on night, or just hang around to taste the wine he always craved. But he couldn’t help but notice the crawling of worry and sheer panic like fear on his gut, he doesn’t know why but he always felt like he is being watched constantly. Maybe it was the wine that got him feeling that way, or just the thought of them made his inside shivered. Its impossible, he thought. The Earis are strictly probihited by the Queen to leave the castle unless its necessary so why would he think that it was them who’s stalking him? 

The recent news of the killings has affected him too, like the victims are the ones he spent those intimate nights with. He looks suspicious, yes, but he knew himself that he was innocent. Yet, the nobles still saw him as something tied to the murder events. 

One gloomy afternoon, Zaros was browsing some books about curing at the antique shop near the castle. It was quiet, the place was packed with old books of historical medicine. The door opened, the soft jingles of the small bell hanging by it filled the silence. He was busy checking the books to even notice that someone was standing behind him. 

“I like that book, especially where you can make a lethal poison with flowers.”

Zaros tensed at the voice behind him. He knows that tone, that accent.. It sent a chill down his spine. 

He slowly looks over his shoulder, and there they are. The Earis was standing still, that same blurred face like a shadow over it is still hiding their face. Maybe the fear that Zaros felt eight years ago is still there, a stain on his shoe that he refuses to acknowledge.

“My Earis..”, Zaros softly said. “ What brings you here—”, his voice has a slight stammer but was cut off by the Earis. 

“You. You’re the reason why I’m here. You avoided me for years, eight to be exact.”

He swallowed the lump of hesitance down his throat when he heard what the Earis said. He fully turned to face the Earis, but his gaze focused somewhere else. 

“I.. I was—I’ve been busy, My Earis. I didn’t have time to respond to the letters you sent-”, he was cut off when the Earis stepped closer. 

“So you do know that I sent letters, yet you didn’t bother to write back. That hurts my feelings, Zaros. That’s not a way to treat a friend.”

Zaros immediately stepped back, the books slightly rattled as the Earis crowded him against the bookshelf. He tried to calm his racing heart. 

“My apologies, my Earis.. but I think we’re past being friends after what you’ve done back at Astron, it’s my choice to avoid you completely.”, he said coldly, but his gaze doesn’t even meet their own. 

“I wonder who spilled those ideas on your head, Zaros. Have you forgotten that I am the only one you had when we were at Astron? I’m sure you’ve matured enough to not hold a grudge against what I did.”

“A grudge? My Earis, what you did—it’s like a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from!”

“So you still think about it, huh? I think you’ve forgotten the rule I gave you when we became friends.. that you should not admire, look or talk to everyone beside me.”

“I am not your property, my Earis.  I could freely do everything I wanted to do.. especially if it means getting away from you.”

The Earis just hummed in response, their hand reached out, fixing the slight wrinkle on his collar. The gesture was gentle, the one you knew hides no malice by the person… but the one in front of him was the Earis. 

“Shame.. by the way, the woman you’ve been with last week screams beautifully. Though her cries are music to my ears, her moans however were like a fork dragging on a ceramic plate.”

Zaros froze when the Earis mentioned the woman. How did the Earis know about her? About their encounter? Have they been spying on them? No, that is impossible.. he sure would’ve noticed if someone was suspiciously a constant his sight. Maybe.. the feeling of being watched was true all along, the feeling that it’s been the Earis themself was the one watching him. In what the Earis just said, Zaros has finally realized it all along. The incidents from Astron, the students mysteriously dropping or getting pulled out of school to students being tormented by someone. A cold wash of fear and realization has hit on him like a slap on the face, the murders and its victims.. he knew it wasn’t just a simple coincidence that it was the same people he spent the night with. He looked up, his eyes had that knowing gaze that it is the Earis who killed them, but why? What could they possibly gain from this?

“You found out, huh? That’s what I love about you.. Zaros. You have a smart mind, a beautiful face.. Yet you chose to be with them instead of being with me. I get rid of everyone for you to come crawling to me, but no. You chose to defy the destiny I paved a path for you.”

The Earis reached out, grabbing Zaros’ neck and pinning his back on the shelf. He raised his hand to pry their hand off of his neck, but their strength and grip.. it had no avail. The air in Zaros’ lungs are slowly getting cut off by the chokehold, his vision dimming as the lack of oxygen is getting into his brain. The Earis kept their grip on his neck until he lost consciousness

“From now on, no one and I mean no one.. will be able to touch you again. You’re mine, and I don’t care how long it will take for you to realize it. I love you, Zaros.”