The stars never answered back. Opening my box of friend misery. To feel like myself again. I'm where nobody can reach me. But I knew I would call again.
Oh I'm not okay. No idea whether to first work on my thoughts, to write a drabble in relation to my favourite characters, or feel it within myself and write something totally for me. I feel it in a dualistic way as if.
Jane prentiss my beloved.
Is what you lived through. What will you hold on to? Oh god haunting of hill House, the epitaph poem, Shirley Jackson novels. Grief. We turn into stories. I am having serious flashbacks and lack coherency to properly express them.
Stop being relatable mitski! Haha! Haha...
I have a different relationship with lakes, and the sea. It's between me, the sand and the sea. Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die. Drowning in the lake- the lady of the lake! Bly manor uff. The big city, the urban alienation yet the freedom in it– i talked about this to my psychiatrist too. You can start over, the stretched scale of so many lives living in the hustle culture, you can always rest within the seclusion of a lake, as it washes away the perception of time.
When I die, i hope i go just as beautifully. I'm not gone, I'm scattered in your life like so many pieces, of rain, or snow. I am NOT okay. The references are the cause of my death and this is just the surface level, i know there's a lot.