zhenya sure has a lot more life to him than his canon counterparts and i wonder what is it that he did for himself in this timeline that makes him less depressed, less messy, less everything that makes up hahren and elgar'nan. he still holds an ' it is what it is ' attitude, but with less weight to it and more flippant about everything he chooses to do in the face of his own mortality. his casual comments about dying by a heart attack on discord, making it the most boring death is also one to note alongside how his only dream as an older man is to die. nothing serious, nothing suicidal even! the average person thinks that there is something wrong here, but zhenya is just having a very realistic outlook on his life and thinks of it very optimistically at that. the gallows humor of it all, really.
and i think like, a lot of people would disagree with this mindset he has. and how zhenya [ and all versions of elgar'nan ], do not follow conventional methods of recovery and coping and whatnot. like as if there is supposedly some correct way of healing that he must adhere to, but he's looking at all of that and thinks its bullshit. is it really possible for his emotional wounds to heal wrongly? i think that my writing of this character as a whole has benefitted strongly by just allowing him to react authentically to things instead of a precedent outcome. zhenya is so fun to write, and easy to take upon because his character feels so light in contrast of the deadweight that comes with elgar'nan and hahren. because those characters come with expectations set, and that in turn suffocates them the same way they suffocate under the sun/maker because there is no room to breathe or do anything else.
elgar'nan and hahren exist in a narrative that has elements of the story where characters are trying to make things right and correct grievous errors in a way that brute forces change, and then here he is this unconventional god who has all the power in the world to do it at the snap of a finger but doesn't. so naturally, people are upset and angry that he does nothing, but it's also such an interesting predicament where he's found himself in the position of the god he's fought for so many cycles and became its killing act, but nobody would honor him the execution that is justified. so of course, he comes with the expectation, as the god of vengeance, that those who resent him should come hither and commit to the call of the void by killing him next. it is literally woven into elgar'nan's origin, and what people do with him after is a matter that is up to mythal to handle in her quest of restorative justice for thedas. in the grand scheme of things, he's always been her pawn to move [ the king piece on the chess board moves one step at a time ] while.
