Alfred will be back later @waynesnumber1butler - Tumblr Blog

Alfred I stole a batsuit.

:)

At 3:00 in the morning why on Earth do you even need a bat suit may I ask?

I'm bored, and I wanna win the cosplay contest in my town.

Is it one of the main suits or the backups

And if you're going to do it I'd add fake stitching to it to make it look less authentic (so you don't leak secret identities of course that would be daft)

It said "reserved for master Grayson" on it so I assume a back up. It's also bright blue.

Oh I already added a bunch of fake stitching and had my cat scratch it a bit do I look dumb???

Seeing that master Grayson actively hates being Batman I see no harm in this, that suit was going to stay empty

I did not say you're incompetent I was just adding a recommendation, you could even get away with no modifications there's a second hand market

Great no harm no foul

Ooh I should sell this thing... I'm keeping the grapple gun though.

Absolutely not to hell with that idea

You are not selling it you are not giving away Bruce's hard work on the black market which will then instantly get into the hands of criminals.... Or worse scalpers

... If argue but given your track record with shotguns I'm just gonna not.

*Alfred gives you a glare* I'm not going to bloody shoot you over this mild disagreement what do you take me for ?

Go use it in the cosplay contest and then return it all I was asking is not to sell it

Master Grayson .... Your drinking gasoline ?!

Are you confucused perhaps daft ?

@waynesnumber1butler

WELL I'M NOT but other versions of me are doing it!!

Point me to the direction of the other two dick Grayson and I'll let YOU off the hook

, gulp

It's a simple question master Grayson , I shall reward you hamsomly in deserts if you comply

If not I shall just ask someone else

uhhh uhhhh uhhh nobody's ACTUALLY drank any gas it's just a joke!

Wrong answer master Grayson *detaches handlebars from Nightwings bike *

I shall continue to disassemble your bike till you give me the answers your hiding tell the truth and I shall have master Bruce to upgrade it

So give me names

UH. how am i supposed to give you names when we all technically have the same name???

Just give me their tags and the bike remains untouched master grayson

Master Grayson .... Your drinking gasoline ?!

Are you confucused perhaps daft ?

@waynesnumber1butler

WELL I'M NOT but other versions of me are doing it!!

Point me to the direction of the other two dick Grayson and I'll let YOU off the hook

crap now he's gonna be able to see whenever i'm blatantly disregarding my health

He followed me as well...

oh no he's gonna cut off the gas drinking

Oh shit, NOOOO-

Pointing and laughing at you both, other me's

@alfredjpennyworth

FOLLOW HIM ASWELL!!!!!

NO DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH STUPID SHIT I'VE DONE THIS YEAR I'M GONNA GET LECTURED TO HELL AND BACK

HAHAHA 🫵🫵 WE GO DOWN TOGETHER

First all my other me's are homophobic, now they're all evil?? Can't believe this

you brought this upon yourself by making fun of us

So far I'm still safe, I'll be watching you other me's get lectured from the safety of a far, far away rooftop ☺️🫶

What the bloody hell

born-in-the-ace-chemicals

I don't mean to alarm, but Bianca is in the ICU after either jumping or falling from a bridge. Just. Thought you should know.

- @born-in-the-ace-chemicals

Well that is awful I'm glad to see that they're safe

...I mean, they're as safe as they can get with the Joker's kid standing guard. I try to be stable but. I can only do so much especially since nobody's seemed to visit.

But the family has other matters, I understand. I'm not trying to sound any kind of way, I'm just... stating the facts as I see them.

born-in-the-ace-chemicals

I I'm so bloody sorry I will arrive to help soon though I don't know how much a ghost can help

No, no it's fine! I'm only upset with her brothers!

Gotham is the s*** show at the moment but that is no excuse not to come and help

born-in-the-ace-chemicals

I don't mean to alarm, but Bianca is in the ICU after either jumping or falling from a bridge. Just. Thought you should know.

- @born-in-the-ace-chemicals

Well that is awful I'm glad to see that they're safe

...I mean, they're as safe as they can get with the Joker's kid standing guard. I try to be stable but. I can only do so much especially since nobody's seemed to visit.

But the family has other matters, I understand. I'm not trying to sound any kind of way, I'm just... stating the facts as I see them.

I I'm so bloody sorry I will arrive to help soon though I don't know how much a ghost can help

I don't mean to alarm, but Bianca is in the ICU after either jumping or falling from a bridge. Just. Thought you should know.

- @born-in-the-ace-chemicals

Well that is awful I'm glad to see that they're safe

i wrote a pride and prejudice rewrite fanfic when i was 14, i am now 24. i just got a notification from the fanfic. fuck i need to update it.

That's... Some dedication master Jason

truly. i take pride in my writing.

Fair enough at least you're improving your linguistics

i wrote a pride and prejudice rewrite fanfic when i was 14, i am now 24. i just got a notification from the fanfic. fuck i need to update it.

That's... Some dedication master Jason

Hey Alfred? I uh... kinda fell through some weird portal but I'm back now and I may or may not have brought a friend with me. He's very good and sweet, but I wanted to ask you if he can come in.

- @biancawayneofficial

Anyone is welcome in Wayne Manor as long as they invited by a Wayne and don't absolutely trash the place like hooligans

RP STARTER

He wasn’t fast enough. His knee gave out and he couldn’t dodge. It shouldn’t have been hard for him, he’s done it a million times, but he just…couldn’t get out of the way.

They had already patched up the bullet wound in their side, so now they were just lying in the medical cot, staring at the bandage with a silent disgust. They shouldn’t have let it happen, they’re better than this. Perhaps they’re growing old. Feeble. They’re well into their forties, which they don’t consider old on most, but for them it’s practically senile.

She can’t afford to age. She has responsibilities—physically taxing responsibilities. She’s the barrier between Gotham and Hell, she’s the one thing keeping this cursed city from drowning in its own depravity. Her children are there, of course, but she despises the thought of sending them out alone without the option to call her for help.

He’ll just have to train harder. He’ll be better—stronger. Human limits will have no more affect on him if he just works harder, he can still save Gotham-

They look up from their quiet self-loathing as the door opens and someone enters.

... Master Bruce may I come in ...

*Alfred has some painkillers and tea *

You're pushing yourself too hard out there ... You can't sustain this

Bruce nods and takes the painkillers and tea, taking the pills before setting the tea on the desk.

“It was a one time misstep.” He contests with a frown.

You've been getting injured a lot more on the field than you used to be sir

It was only one misstep this time

And that it was the femoral artery you're lucky one of the young masters was nearby

“I just need to train more.” He argues. “I’ve been distracted. It’s taken from my training time, and that has been my downfall. I can fix that.”

#alfred pennyworth #dc rp blog #alfred rp blog

Bruce to put it plain simply you're at your physical peak that you can be for your age

You're human after All master Bruce

And no I'm not even going to attempt to tell you to retire you and me both know that's not going to happen , you're too damn Head Strong

May I officer you some advice sir?

RP STARTER

He wasn’t fast enough. His knee gave out and he couldn’t dodge. It shouldn’t have been hard for him, he’s done it a million times, but he just…couldn’t get out of the way.

They had already patched up the bullet wound in their side, so now they were just lying in the medical cot, staring at the bandage with a silent disgust. They shouldn’t have let it happen, they’re better than this. Perhaps they’re growing old. Feeble. They’re well into their forties, which they don’t consider old on most, but for them it’s practically senile.

She can’t afford to age. She has responsibilities—physically taxing responsibilities. She’s the barrier between Gotham and Hell, she’s the one thing keeping this cursed city from drowning in its own depravity. Her children are there, of course, but she despises the thought of sending them out alone without the option to call her for help.

He’ll just have to train harder. He’ll be better—stronger. Human limits will have no more affect on him if he just works harder, he can still save Gotham-

They look up from their quiet self-loathing as the door opens and someone enters.

... Master Bruce may I come in ...

*Alfred has some painkillers and tea *

You're pushing yourself too hard out there ... You can't sustain this

If ONE MORE of you fuckers do the “Red Robin Yum” thing I will LOSE IT

I AM NOT A RESTAURANT

red robin yummmm

JASON REALLY??

Please don’t tell me I’m gonna have to deal with this all patrol🫩

oh, you will be. 😁

😟 did you get ALL of them in on it???

yes. obviously.

This means war Jason.

i will gladly go to war timothy.

Neither of you will go to war cause of a joke😭

I see you’ve chosen your side then Dick..

I...chose no side. I'm not part of this war. Leave me out of it-

You’re no fun then- just don’t tell B

Reeeddd Robbbiin , yum

Im not sorry master Timothy

😟

ALFRED?!???????? WHY

@redhoodisalive has a killer beef Wellington recipe that he has been holding out on me

He promised to share it if I participated in this silly facade

BETRAYAL.

I'm sorry Mr Red Robin yumm , but may request to know who asked for your opinion?

MY OWN FAMILY???? I VOLUNTEER TO BECOME A VIGILANTE TO SAVE THE CITY AND THIS IS WHAT I GET IN RETURN??

Indeed is this what the kids call ragebaiting ?

Master Damian told me new slang, this is so skibbidy rizz

I spent 20 years in the SAS and deep cover operations just to end up making cookies 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠_⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠ㄏ

😟 😦🫢

WHY WOULD DAMIAN TEACH YOU THAT???

Omg wait please tell me you’ve been talking to B like that that’s actually hilarious

Absolutely sir ... Hence it's about time to dab on master Bruce self loathing issues and yeet you all into therapy , 420 blazing it grandfather style

I do believe I am speaking the modern lingo well perhaps my terminology is a little bit outdated but yes I do in fact talk to master Bruce like this

I've been hip and cool since the 80s I still have roller skates in my closet in fact

OMFG I’m going to need to teach you more just to annoy B more 💀

#//omg imagine Alfred showing up in a costume similar to Dicks during the Discowing era #//what if I tell you that my Au Alfred is the main costume maker for the bat family... meeting he did in fact help with discowing

I do believe my lingo is a bit out of date so it'd be much appreciated Master Timothy

If ONE MORE of you fuckers do the “Red Robin Yum” thing I will LOSE IT

I AM NOT A RESTAURANT

red robin yummmm

JASON REALLY??

Please don’t tell me I’m gonna have to deal with this all patrol🫩

oh, you will be. 😁

😟 did you get ALL of them in on it???

yes. obviously.

This means war Jason.

i will gladly go to war timothy.

Neither of you will go to war cause of a joke😭

I see you’ve chosen your side then Dick..

I...chose no side. I'm not part of this war. Leave me out of it-

You’re no fun then- just don’t tell B

Reeeddd Robbbiin , yum

Im not sorry master Timothy

😟

ALFRED?!???????? WHY

@redhoodisalive has a killer beef Wellington recipe that he has been holding out on me

He promised to share it if I participated in this silly facade

BETRAYAL.

I'm sorry Mr Red Robin yumm , but may request to know who asked for your opinion?

MY OWN FAMILY???? I VOLUNTEER TO BECOME A VIGILANTE TO SAVE THE CITY AND THIS IS WHAT I GET IN RETURN??

Indeed is this what the kids call ragebaiting ?

Master Damian told me new slang, this is so skibbidy rizz

I spent 20 years in the SAS and deep cover operations just to end up making cookies 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠_⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠ㄏ

😟 😦🫢

WHY WOULD DAMIAN TEACH YOU THAT???

Omg wait please tell me you’ve been talking to B like that that’s actually hilarious

#//I like to think Alfred has been trying to stay up with the trends for a long time so imagine him in like full eighties disco #//it's the try and make sure his kids and grandkids are happy

Absolutely sir ... Hence it's about time to dab on master Bruce self loathing issues and yeet you all into therapy , 420 blazing it grandfather style

I do believe I am speaking the modern lingo well perhaps my terminology is a little bit outdated but yes I do in fact talk to master Bruce like this

I've been hip and cool since the 80s I still have roller skates in my closet in fact

If ONE MORE of you fuckers do the “Red Robin Yum” thing I will LOSE IT

I AM NOT A RESTAURANT

red robin yummmm

JASON REALLY??

Please don’t tell me I’m gonna have to deal with this all patrol🫩

oh, you will be. 😁

😟 did you get ALL of them in on it???

yes. obviously.

This means war Jason.

i will gladly go to war timothy.

Neither of you will go to war cause of a joke😭

I see you’ve chosen your side then Dick..

I...chose no side. I'm not part of this war. Leave me out of it-

You’re no fun then- just don’t tell B

Reeeddd Robbbiin , yum

Im not sorry master Timothy

😟

ALFRED?!???????? WHY

@redhoodisalive has a killer beef Wellington recipe that he has been holding out on me

He promised to share it if I participated in this silly facade

BETRAYAL.

I'm sorry Mr Red Robin yumm , but may request to know who asked for your opinion?

MY OWN FAMILY???? I VOLUNTEER TO BECOME A VIGILANTE TO SAVE THE CITY AND THIS IS WHAT I GET IN RETURN??

Indeed is this what the kids call ragebaiting ?

Master Damian told me new slang, this is so skibbidy rizz

I spent 20 years in the SAS and deep cover operations just to end up making cookies 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠_⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠ㄏ

If ONE MORE of you fuckers do the “Red Robin Yum” thing I will LOSE IT

I AM NOT A RESTAURANT

red robin yummmm

JASON REALLY??

Please don’t tell me I’m gonna have to deal with this all patrol🫩

oh, you will be. 😁

😟 did you get ALL of them in on it???

yes. obviously.

This means war Jason.

i will gladly go to war timothy.

Neither of you will go to war cause of a joke😭

I see you’ve chosen your side then Dick..

I...chose no side. I'm not part of this war. Leave me out of it-

You’re no fun then- just don’t tell B

Reeeddd Robbbiin , yum

Im not sorry master Timothy

😟

ALFRED?!???????? WHY

@redhoodisalive has a killer beef Wellington recipe that he has been holding out on me

He promised to share it if I participated in this silly facade

BETRAYAL.