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@wclfie-blog
mctherfvckers:
PICK A MUSE ANY MUSE
for the low low price of your soul
hey guys, long time no talk, in an effort to get back into RP-ing I made the decision to move all of my muses to a multimuse blog.
It’s far easier for me to manage and stay active and available on. SO I will be reblogging this promo on all of my single blogs in an effort to make sure that as many people who care about plotting, writing or just catching up with me, can find me!!
send me 'i want the k'
1: Hot, Steamy kiss 2: Cheek Kiss 3: Nose Kiss 4: Forehead Kiss 5: Firm Kiss 6: Gentle Peck 7: Romantic Kiss 8: Eyelid Kiss 9: Jawline Kiss 10: Neck Kiss 11: Collarbone Kiss 12: Chest Kiss 13: Stomach Kiss 14: Kiss Along the Hips 15: Kiss in the Rain 16: Upside-Down Kiss 17: Goofy Kiss 18: Underwater Kiss 19: Forceful Kiss 20: Any of the Above 21: Then there’s tongue
RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS
Following my AUs and Prompts List from a few months back, here is a compilation of my favorite sentence starters for all your writing needs.
Because most of them aren’t mine, credits are at the end.
SHORT
“Marry me.” “Do you want me to leave?” “You are not going without me.” “I can’t believe you!” “I swear it won’t happen again.” “What did you say?” “I’m not jealous.” “You’re jealous, aren’t you?” “We can’t keep doing this.” “Are you sure this is legal?” “Isn’t this amazing?” “I’m going to take care of you, okay?” “Stay the night. Please.” “You can’t die. Please don’t die.” “Run away with me.” “You did WHAT?” “Quit whining.” “Get outta my sight!” “Why are you so annoying?” “Were you ever going to tell me?” “Never in a million years.” “Don’t ask me that…” “I might have had a few shots.” “What’s with the box?” “W- What are you doing?” “Say it!” “I could kiss you right now!” “Are you done with that?” “What’s going on here?” “Stop pinning this on me! You started it!” “It’s your fault we’re in this mess.” “Did you do this on purpose?!” “Kiss me.” “Are you still awake..?” “Excuse you?” “This is all your fault!” “I can’t believe you dragged me into this.” “Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!” “I shouldn’t be in love with you!” “It’s not fair!” “I could kill you right now!” “Knock it off!” “Screw you!” “You’re a complete moron!” “I love this song!” “I can’t be in love with you!” “Make me.” “Don’t tempt me.” “I hate you.” “You are infuriating!” “Just shut up already.” “That doesn’t even make sense.” “Bite me.” “Eat me.” “Kiss my ass.” “Just admit I’m right.” “Just admit you’re wrong.” “You are being ridiculous!” “That’s irrational.” “Listen to me!” “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” “Don’t yell at me.” “That’s it. End of discussion.” “I don’t believe you.” “You shouldn’t have said that.” “Fuck you!” “Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.” “How dare you?” “I dare you!” “It’s you, it’s always been you.” “Well this is awkward…” “Just pretend to be my date”.
MISCELLANEOUS
“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?” “The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” “I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.” “You know what I like most about people? Pets.” “Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?” “What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.” “I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.” “Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.” “Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.” “Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?” “Can I touch your boob?” “It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.” “You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?” “Give me cake or give me death.” “On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?” “You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?” “Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.” “Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.” “No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.” “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!” “If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?” “I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.” “What have I told you about the toilet seat?” “I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.” “I vote today to be a pajama day.” “You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.” “I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.” “I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.” “You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.” “Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?” “I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.” “What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.” “I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!” “This would not happen if I had a penis!” “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.” “All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.” “I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.” “Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.” “I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.” “To the night you’ll never remember!” “Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?” “Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.” “Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.” “You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!” “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.” “Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole.” “I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.” “You better take care of that car or I swear I’ll haunt your ass!” “This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“ “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.” “I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.” “You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.” “You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?” “I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it” “Do you need me to kill someone for you?” “Look out where you’re going, asshole!” “Fuck the sandwich guy!” “I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.” “The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?” “Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.” “I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I find you repulsive.” “There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character.” “I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?” “There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships.” “It’s midnight, what do you want?” “I think I know how to use a bed.” “If I wake up in the morning and I’m dead… Wait.” “You are completely unfit to handle a child.” “We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.” “Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!” “When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.” “It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”
PREGNANCY
“I have something to tell you…” “I think I’m pregnant.” “I’m pregnant!” “When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?” “You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.” “$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.” “Pregnancy suits you…” “Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…” “I’ll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick!” “There’s someone I’d like you to meet…” “Shh… He/she’s sleeping..” “I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.” “No, no, no, no, no, we aren’t ready… We aren’t ready for kids yet!” “Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!”
FLUFF
“Your hair is so soft…” “You’re so cute when you pout like that!” “Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.” “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.” “What, does that feel good?” “HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn’t I?” “Are you wearing my shirt?” “You are ridiculously comfortable…” “I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…” “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…” “You’re beautiful, you know that?” “We should get a puppy!”
STARGAZING
“Aren’t they beautiful?” “These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.” “Shooting star, make a wish.” “It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.” “Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.” “Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature…” “Wouldn’t it be cool to name a star after yourself?” “Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze.” “This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?” “Is that a– Wait, no, just an airplane.” “I wouldn’t mind falling asleep out here.
FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE/SEXUAL
“Did you just… finish?” “They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.” “I’m not actually feeling anything.” “Are you getting any closer?” “Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like fuck!” “Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.” “Shit sorry, am I going too fast?” “Wow, you’re hot.” “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” “Hey, I’m open minded.” “Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.” “I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.” “I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?” “I see someone’s happy to see me.” “I saw that. You just checked me out.” “You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.” “Take off your clothes.” “Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.” “Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.” “Boobs are really just squishy pillows.” “If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you.” “Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.” “I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”
TEXTS
[text]: What do you want now? [text]: Do you want to bet on that? [text]: Guess who just got back in town. [text]: So I might be in a hospital right now… [text]: We can’t keep doing this anymore! [text]: Come on, come to the party! [text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive. [text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up. [text]: I call bullshit. [text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn’t you? [text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never did anything for our friendship. [text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness. [text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall. [text] Who says no to sex and donuts?! [text] I know what you did last summer…
Sources: x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
more texts for you bitches
ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH
[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life. [text] I should have never let you back into my life. [text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that. [text] Please don’t walk away. [text] Please don’t do this. [text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you? [text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it. [text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again. [text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong. [text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me. [text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did [text] The truth is I’m not over you. [text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you. [text] I’m seeing someone else. [text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker? [text] You’re so selfish. [text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them]. [text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE
LOVING TEXTS, BITCH
[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah. [text] Be careful. [text] I’m only saying it because I love you. [text] I’m only saying it because I care about you. [text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee. [text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week? [text] Let me take you out, please? [text] Let me make you dinner tonight. [text] I want you to be happy. [text] You’re always safe with me. [text] I can’t stop thinking about you. [text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. [text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that. [text] It was so good seeing you. [text] You don’t need this shit. [text] I’ll be there in five minutes. [text] Let me help, please? [text] You’re important to me. [text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that. [text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day. [text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s love. [text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH
[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now. [text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut. [text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!? [text] Lose my number, asshole. [text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so. [text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf. [text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend. [text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is. [text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it? [text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole. [text] Go fuck yourself. [text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you? [text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first. [text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now [text] Bye and have a very fuck you day
SEXY TEXTS, BITCH
[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this. [text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair. [text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor. [text] Come over. With condoms. [text] You should come over, clothing optional. [text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT [text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? [text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended. [text] I don’t think he likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together [text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis. [text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology. [text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH. [text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking? [text] I just need some of your time and all of your body. [text] I am available for nakedness [text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH
[drunk text] So wat are you really over me no w [drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH [drunk text] You are my queen and my savior and I love you forever [drunk text] You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known [drunk text] I’m eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect just wrote that text for me pretty much, what’s your night like [drunk text] Listen up slut, you’re one hot piece of ass and if [he/she/they] doesn’t realize it, it’s their loss [drunk text] but what’s the point of a Disney sing off party if you’re not here. You have to be be the Pumbaa to my Timon [drunk text] Can you pls remind me tomorrow of how much of a fool I made myself tonight [drunk text] FUCK YOU YOU’RE GORGEOUS [drunk text] I think maybe you and me should like go out and eat pizza or something check yes or no [drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated [drunk text] I hate (him/her) but less when I’m drinking. Thanks, alcohol. [drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think I’m dyin [drunk text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE
‘Shameless’ (US) Sentence Starters
WARNING: This meme, like the show, is very vulgar and most of it is NSFW mainly due to profanity.
❛ A shrink at school says I’m one of God’s mistakes. ❜ ❛ Ain’t you the queen of silver linings! ❜ ❛ All teenagers are sex addicts. ❜ ❛ Alright shithead, this is like the two hundredth time I’m calling and you not picking up. I’m starting to get fucking homicidal. Call me the fuck back. I’m worried about you. I love you. Call me back. ❜ ❛ Alright, you gotta get me out of this car. I’m getting too horned up. ❜ ❛ An accident? Where his penis just slipped into your vagina? ❜ ❛ Another word and I’ll blow your brains all over the fucking linoleum. ❜ ❛ Are you going to leave? ❜ ❛ Choose a gender and find someone who wants to fuck. Preferably for free. ❜ ❛ Christ, I am tired of being poor. ❜ ❛ Circle doesn’t start with ‘s’? What the fuck? ❜ ❛ Come here. Get in my forcefield. ❜ ❛ Did the two of us finish off an entire gallon of box wine the other night? ❜ ❛ Did you purposely order a Sex on the Beach so I’d say it to the gay bartender? ❜ ❛ Do whatever the fuck you need to do. I’ve got this. ❜ ❛ Does he get that look in his eye when he’s with you? ❜ ❛ Does she make you happy or is it just about the sex? ❜ ❛ Eat my ass! ❜ ❛ Everybody always leaves. ❜ ❛ Front door was locked so I came in the back. No pun intended. ❜ ❛ Happy is overrated. Grow up. ❜ ❛ I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is ‘fuck you.’ ❜ ❛ I did everything for you, but you’re so fucking blind! ❜ ❛ I did it all for you. You might even want to say thank you. ❜ ❛ I don’t get how you have a kid and not give a shit what happens to it. ❜ ❛ I don’t get it. Half of the world has penises, why do people get so upset about seeing them? ❜ ❛ I don’t give a fuck. I’m happy to knock your fucking teeth out. ❜ ❛ I don’t go onto Facebook, okay? ‘Cause I don’t give a shit about whose pet just died or who just checked in at the fucking McDonald’s. ❜ ❛ I don’t know how much more I can take of that before I stab him/her in the neck with a broken beer bottle. ❜ ❛ I don’t love you! ❜ ❛ I haven’t had a drink for two days… Well, granted, I was unconscious. ❜ ❛ I just came here for a fucking beer, alright? ❜ ❛ I know that shit, bitch! That’s a cat! ❜ ❛ I made a list of the top 50 stupidest things I’ve done and all 50 were when I was drunk. ❜ ❛ I never thought I’d say this, but you were right. ❜ ❛ I saw you smile. ❜ ❛ I think you deviated my septum! ❜ ❛ I thought it might be different this time. ❜ ❛ I trust you. That’s bigger to me than ‘I love you.’ ❜ ❛ I want you to take that shiv and jam it in his eye. ❜ ❛ I will make this kitchen my bitch. ❜ ❛ I would never leave you. Ever. You gotta know that. After everything we’ve been through, you kind just have to know that. ❜ ❛ If you’re gonna talk shit at least do it right. ❜ ❛ It smells worse than a dead hooker’s ass in there. ❜ ❛ It wouldn’t have happened without you. ❜ ❛ It’s a shame when someone you love gets taken away, isn’t it? ❜ ❛ It’s never about me and I’m finally making it about me! ❜ ❛ I’d be crying right now if I wasn’t so high. ❜ ❛ I’d trade my left nut for one more hour of sleep. ❜ ❛ I’m gonna beat your ass like a piñata until candy falls out! ❜ ❛ I’m not a tool, so you don’t get to treat me like one. ❜ ❛ I’m not homeless, I told you. I have a home, I’m just not welcome there. ❜ ❛ I’m not my dad. You hear me? I’m not my fucking dad! ❜ ❛ I’m probably biased, but you deserve better than him/her/them. ❜ ❛ I’m sick of living in your shadow! ❜ ❛ I’m taking care of me for a change, not him/her/them. ❜ ❛ I’m the only thing that passes for a responsible adult that you’re gonna find. ❜ ❛ Keep laughing or I will slit your throat in your sleep. ❜ ❛ Last message, promise. Wherever you are… Bye. ❜ ❛ Let’s be honest, he/she is my last chance at happiness and that’s more important than video games and masturbation, right? ❜ ❛ Let’s go get drunk and buy a gun. ❜ ❛ Look at me, I can’t go to jail! I might as well wear heels. ❜ ❛ Men are never right. That’s why women were invented, to think for you assholes. ❜ ❛ Name a single time I’ve ever let you down. ❜ ❛ Next time, I’m gonna break both of your fucking knee caps, ‘kay? ❜ ❛ No one gives a shit who you bang. ❜ ❛ No one likes to hear a grown man whine. It’s like the verbal equivalent of a dude wearing UGGs. ❜ ❛ No one’s ever been as good to me as you have. ❜ ❛ No, no, no, no, no, no. The bat is for killing, not for taking to school. ❜ ❛ Not everybody just gets to blurt out how they fuckin’ feel every minute. ❜ ❛ Not to be a dick or anything, but you have been kind of a whore. ❜ ❛ Oh shit, I’m sorry. You know I would’ve never said that to your face. ❜ ❛ Oh, don’t mind me. I accidentally took three of my pills instead of one. ❜ ❛ One of my unspoken rules is you don’t fuck somebody else when we’re on a date. ❜ ❛ People fuck up. That’s life. ❜ ❛ People like us, we can be happy. ❜ ❛ Random destruction makes you think of me? ❜ ❛ Really? That’s all you’re gonna say? ❜ ❛ See that? They’re digging your grave. And you wanna be gone before they get that to six feet. ❜ ❛ Seriously, I don’t mean to be an asshole. It’s just genetic. ❜ ❛ Should I apologize or leave? …I’m gonna leave. ❜ ❛ Show of hands, how many of you, at one point or another, wanted to see me dead? ❜ ❛ Some girls are just jerks. ❜ ❛ Stop acting like the world is out to get you when it’s so clearly dropping gifts at your feet. ❜ ❛ Stuff just happens sometimes. ❜ ❛ The best part of making a baby is that you get to have sex while doing it. ❜ ❛ The first rule you hide in this house: You hide the goddamn money! ❜ ❛ The only way to make money when you’re poor is to steal it or scam it. ❜ ❛ We both know my only options are getting pregnant or getting arrested. ❜ ❛ Well, he may look like he’s in a boy band, but he’s got a point. ❜ ❛ Well, if you need me I’ll be across the street in the bushes, stalking you. ❜ ❛ What are you hoping, I tell you not to go? ❜ ❛ What the fuck are you looking at? ❜ ❛ What you and I have makes me free. Not what these assholes know. ❜ ❛ Whatever. Liking what I like don’t make me a bitch. ❜ ❛ When she/he/they say ‘fuck you’ it means ‘I love you.’ ❜ ❛ When you focus on other people’s problems, it’s a lot easier to ignore your own. ❜ ❛ Where can I get knives and blunts? ❜ ❛ Why would anyone go to the zoo sober? ❜ ❛ Will you? Wait? Fucking lie to me if you have to. ❜ ❛ Yeah, it gives me more time to buy drugs and fence stolen goods. ❜ ❛ You can’t own a motto! ❜ ❛ You could do things with your tongue that would make a rattlesnake blush. ❜ ❛ You deserve to get out, even if you don’t take me with you. ❜ ❛ You did okay. You tried. It’s a lot more than most people would do. ❜ ❛ You don’t love me. ❜ ❛ You have made me happy. I’ve never been very happy. ❜ ❛ You have to let me go. You have to let me let you go. I need you to do that for me. ❜ ❛ You know that jagermeister really makes you chatty, right? ❜ ❛ You know what? Nothing’s ever your problem. Make it your problem! ❜ ❛ You know where I live if you have a problem. ❜ ❛ You know, having a Russian sex worker isn’t ideal for child care. ❜ ❛ You say that again and I’ll rip your tongue out of your head. ❜ ❛ You take care of everyone, but no one takes care of you. ❜ ❛ You think you scare me? Bring it, bitch. ❜ ❛ You want to get shit faced in the middle of the day? Vodka’s best. Believe me. ❜ ❛ Your coochie smells like brimstone and Sulfur. ❜ ❛ You’re a loud, mean, vicious bitch. ❜ ❛ You’re better than anyone I’ve ever met and you deserve to get out. ❜ ❛ You’re kind of growing on me. ❜ ❛ You’re not lost. You don’t need finding. ❜ ❛ You’re nothing like anyone I’ve ever met. You make me want to enjoy my life again. ❜ ❛ ______ doesn’t have any friends. Only people he/she/they haven’t pissed off yet. ❜
texts from last night! meme
[text] Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today? [text] The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here [text] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after. [text] I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW [text] So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one’s for Team USA. [text] He gave me the “find somebody who wants to date you for who you are” speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants. [text] I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese [text] I just got high off one hit and then Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refrigerator and researching ways to replace it [text] Seriously. I’m like, “Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you’re so fucking intelligent I’m turned on?” [text] Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet? [text] He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I’m keeping him. [text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life. [text] It’s a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later. [text] Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever. [text] Lesson learned. Don’t roleplay with a real knife. [text] We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman’s birthday party for the food. Whoops. [text] He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle. [text] I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I’d say it was a pretty successful Thursday night. [text] I’m wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real. [text] He’s like… An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It’s almost unsettling [text] I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I’ve found the One. [text] Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while… if you happen to find your balls then join us [text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”… [text] and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba” [text] so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. [text] Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. [text] Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me [text] We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sounds logical. Thank you daylight savings. [text] when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was “chug-a-lug” [text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork. [text] Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine [text] My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there. [text] He told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him [text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten [text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly. [text] He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter. [text] we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury [text] I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man’s heart. [text] When was the last time you wore pants? [text] I’ve replaced you with thin mints and masturbation [text] Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast. [text] Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time [text] Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent [text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person. [text] I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how’s your day going? [text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today. [text] We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What’s wrong with this tradition? [text] all i’ve had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila. [text] Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don’t exist? [text] Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special [text] And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention [text] This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the “High While Analyzing Disney Movies” texts begin. [text] Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won’t quit poking me on fb [text] I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes [text] One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won’t be me. I’m drinking liquor out of a fishbowl. [text] You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy [text] im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster [text] just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing. [text] I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on [text] Let’s play a little game called “Chill the Fuck Out” - you’re our first contestant [text] Didn’t get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie. [text] I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion. [text] you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat [text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? [text] We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out [text] maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game [text] i think its awesome that according to your mom i’m your friend that caught on fire. [text] So fucked up. Can’t tell if I’m starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out. [text] I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day. [text] Vodka is such a love hate relationship. [text] you traded sex for a burrito? [text] I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos. [text] You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there. [text] it’s not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher. [text] You’re always adorable, but when you’re drunk, you’re like Chia Pet adorable. [text] this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest [text] I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box [text] I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old’s Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day. [text] It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka. [text] You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go [text] Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome. [text] we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos” [text] quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you [text] I left a cheeto on everyone’s car trailing to the house i’m at, hanzel and gretel style. [text] Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again. [text] nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs [text] When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar. [text] kinda considering buying a life alert for sophomore year [text] My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something. [text] Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex. [text] you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing ‘follow the yellowbrick road’. i’m pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted [text] It’s like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. [text] did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes? [text] The world would be so much better with thought bubbles. [text] I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy! [text] You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen. [text] I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. [text] So I woke up today with someone’s door knob in my pocket. I hope everybody else got out of the house ok. [text] So we successfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know. [text] Because when I say ‘You shouldn’t drink anymore’, she hears, ‘I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’ [text] okay, this game isn’t funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are. [text] The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing. [text] when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed [text] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat. [text] You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone [text] never. drinking. again. [text] I’m gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see. [text] got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night [text] I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now [text] i’m out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction. [text] Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
SEND MY MUSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING
“You. Me. Cuddle. Now.”
“Don’t move, I just got comfy.”
“I’m scared, hold me!”
“I bit my lip. Will you kiss it better?”
“Tickle war has been declared!”
“Bunny pyjamas, really?”
“I’ve never seen so many kittens in one place.”
“Come on, just one bite.”
“How do you accidentally buy sixty birthday cakes?”
“I never imagined you were so… ticklish.”
“You’re so huggable.”
“You’re under arrest for being too cute. Put your hands where I can hold them.”
“Have you fallen asleep on me?”
“Am I dead?”
“Another one?”
“And what if I don’t?”
“Are you afraid of God?”
“Are you crazy?”
“Are you lost?”
“Are you really that shallow?”
“Are you sure it’s okay?”
“Are you sure there were no…
“How do you really feel about me?”
“Can’t you pretend to love me this once?”
“Would you care if I was gone?”
“Don’t you know the hell I go through to keep you safe?”
“I can’t take this any longer. Help me.”
“Deep down, you’re scared. Aren’t you?”
“You’ll stay alone if you push others away.”
“How many lives have you taken with your own hands?”
“Just for today. Please.”
“You’re the only one who’s never called me that…”
“We can make it work! Let’s run away together, you and me!”
“I… have loved you this whole time.”
“Treat me as you see fit. I’ll still protect you. It’s my role after all.”
“Maybe it’s too much for me to expect kindness.”
“You give me meaning, even if you take it away.”
“Please… hold me. Don’t say anything, just… hold me.”
“Woah, when did you get that?”
“Who did this to you?”
“How many time have I told you to be more careful?”
“You’re saying this was an accident?”
“What a shiner!”
“If you look like this, I’d hate to see the other guy.”
“I’m not buying it, you don’t walk into a door and get a bruise like that!”
“Does it hurt when I touch it?”
“Let me kiss it better.”
“If you don’t rest, you won’t heal.”
“Another fight?”
“What happened to your face?”
“I don’t think your arm is meant to bend like that…”
“Let’s get you to bed.”
“Let’s get you to the hospital.”
“Why are you so calm about this?”
“You’re bleeding!”
“What are friends for, ey?”
“So, instead of helping you, they ran off the moment they saw what was happening?”
“You need to look where you’re going.”
“I’m not accusing anyone, I’m just saying it looks suspicious.”
“Do you want to tell me what really happened?”
“Don’t move! You’ll faint!”
“I’ve got some bandages, wait a sec.”
“You’re the clumsiest person I know.”
“I won’t let you be on your own, not when you’re like this.”
“How could you be so careless?”
“I can’t even look at you, you promised not to get into any more fights!”
“H-how many of them were there?”
“Do you want to build a snowman?”
“The past is in the past.”
“I’m where I’m meant to be.”
“I know you!”
“A dream is a wish your heart makes.”
“People down here think I’m crazy, but I don’t care.”
“For once, it might be grand to have someone understand.”
“Just look at the world around you!”
“Someday my prince will come.”
“If you had the chance to change your fate, would you?”
“If you cut it down, then you’ll never know.”
“But you’ll never know me.”
“Don’t you dare close your eyes.”
Hey guys idk if anyone that follows me on here is even still around, but like this if you’d be interested in a plot or a starter or something !!
betwixtist:
GUESS THIS MEANS BIGFOOT IS AN INTERDIMENSIONAL BEING.
For quite some time I’ve had Wolfgang as a, by request/kik&skype exclusive, character but recently I’ve felt a more intense pull to him, so I’d like to bring him back to Tumblr and open him up a bit to more interactions, get him in different universes and such. So go ahead and give this post a LIKE if you’d like a starter !!
verse starter for @dulhaan
Seemed tonight was going to be one of those where the German man needed space from his dorm room. Plus, he still wasn’t over the weather, even at night Florida still held so much moisture and heat in the air. If he were being honest, he liked it. Liked how different from his home it was.
Making his way to the top floor of the library, Wolfgang walked around aimlessly, picking out books and flipping through them not sure what he was looking for. Then suddenly his eyes landed on something far more interesting than the printed word. Or rather someone.
Somehow she seemed familiar, like he’d met her before. Long dark hair, some of which was tucked behind her ear. Notes strew over the entire table, a nose almost touching the open book. Even from where he was standing he could tell she was beautiful, the kind of beauty only created within the confines of a dream. Maybe that’s where he’d known her face from. It was more than that though, someone he’d felt connected to her and he was so distracted by her every movement he hadn’t moved except to form a small smile on his face and his voice was all but paralyzed.
BASIC INFORMATION
NAME Wolfgang Bogdanow AGE Twenty (20) YEAR Junior (first semester) MAJOR Mechanical Engineering
BIOGRAPHY
Born in Berlin, Germany to a Russian woman who died not long after she gave birth to him and a abusive drunk of a man who came from a family of criminals, Wolfgang never knew the benefit of a healthy environment. Often times, his father took his frustration and anger out on him, verbally and physically, causing him to appear as though he participated in a fight club every day of his life. Never without bruises or a split lip and for whatever reason, if a teacher did notice, he’d lie. Even though his father never asked him to.
Despite his home life, Wolfie found much happiness int he form of a best friend. Felix was a lanky kid who’d no doubt, grow into a tall and lanky man, but he was an optimist. Always seizing opportunities, and he taught Wolfgang how important friendship was. It meant you weren’t along, and for a kid like him that was the most important lesson he ever learned.
Throughout his schooling, Wolfgang did quite well in his academics, and his extracurricular was limited to the lessons his father would teach him after school. Like how to crack a safe, or the best way to break into a house even if people are home. Or his uncle teaching him how to scam and con. Essentially the tricks of his family’s business. Felix even tagged along most of the time but Wolfgang needed a way out and the study abroad program was his way.
Now he was living in Florida where the humid weather might be the most shocking change he had to adjust to. So far though, he’s felt a bit of a weight lift off of his shoulders, now that he doesn’t have to deal with his family and he knows that Felix is also staying away from them. Hopefully his stay in America will show that it really is the land of the free.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
is a DEMIROMANTIC HETEROSEXUAL
retains a MODERATELY thick German accent
DOESN’T really talk about his family, although to be fair it’s doubtful that anyone would
enjoys MEETING NEW PEOPLE and making new friends and is generally quite SOCIAL but he does need his own time and often times finds that quiet time in the library
GENERALLY a chill and relaxed person but if you cross him you’ll find he’s got quite the temper, but he’s NOT the easiest man to upset so you’ll probably be able to avoid his bad side
RELATIONSHIPS
NPC ANTON BOGDANOW father deceased
NPC UNNAMED BOGDANOW mother deceased
NPC SERGEI BOGDANOW uncle alive
NPC STIENER BOGDANOW cousin alive
NPC FELIX BRENNER best friend alive
CONNECTIONS
@heartguided ALEC LIGHTWOOD roommate, they just met during the move in weekend and Wolfgang figures there’s no way Alec can be worse to live with than his family, so it’s looking pretty good right now.
@dulhaan KALA DANDEKAR his future something, they haven’t met, but they will and when they do Wolfgang’s going to feel something he never has before.
Alright, this is my RELATIONSHIP/PLOTTING CALL for the group verse, ON THE DEVIL’S PATH for one of the Kings patched members, Wolfgang Bogdanow.
Please make sure you READ HIS BIO.
If after reading the bio you find yourself interested in forging a connection or getting a plot going between your character and Wolfgang PLEASE LIKE THIS POST and I will get in contact with you via the TUMBLR IM SYSTEM
NAME Wolfgang Bogdanow AGE Twenty-Eight (28) AFFILIATION Kings POSITION Patched Member (one year) OCCUPATION Locksmith and Security Company Employee VEHICLE 1967 BMW R60/2
BIOGRAPHY
Born to a recovering drug addict former girl for sale of a mother and a malicious criminal abusive fuck of a father, Wolfgang was set up to be a child riddled with depression and a sense of hopelessness and if it hadn’t been for that fateful day when he’d met his best friend, Felix, that probably would have been his story. As it was, despite being a child of abuse, neglect and abandonment, born into a family of highball and organized criminals. quite frankly he turned out alright. A lot of that was due to the positive strength exuded by a tall and lanky boy who stood by his side in one of many fights a young Wolfgang had been a part of. Due to his extroverted and social nature it wasn’t too surprising when Anton Bogdanow took his son’s new friend under the same tutelage that Wolfy was subjected to.
Things were normal, at least for them with his training in safe cracking, weapon training and other various violent and illegal skills his family had forced upon him. Then one day Wolfgang found out the kind of hell his father had put his mother through, how he’d been the reason she had died before the young teen had a chance to know her and that night he’d planned the murder of his father. It was brutal, but well done, no one ever knew, or even suspected it had been him. From then on he moved to the care of his Uncle, Sergei who made his father look like almost decent man. From then on he began to be trusted with more responsibility, and as he finished school he and Felix opened up a legitimate Locksmith business, which was located near another family wrapped up in their ‘family business’, the Grimm’s, two siblings who he’d gotten to know pretty well. Particularly the girl, Gretel and that became the new normal.
From then on nothing was better or worse, the family only grew and increased in capability and continued their exports and connections with many countries including America. Then about four years ago Wolfgang met the love of his life, a woman he had come so close to leaving it all behind for, Kala Dandekar. The fates must have been smiling down on him, because she was able to stay in Germany and they started a relationship. One that had to be kept secret for a while, because Wolfgang knew his family would use her against him or manipulate her into their world and there was nothing he’d have wanted less than Kala being involved with his family.
Once he recognized he was ready to propose he needed to find a way out of Germany, away from his family. Since he knew Kala would be disappointed if he handled them the way he had his father, he opted for a more-- civil approach. So, he enacted a plan to get them both away, to America. It would still mean being a part of the world of crime but it would be better, she would be away from the Bogdanow’s. It took him little time to convince his uncle to let him be a state side contact between the Kings and their operations.
One year after moving to Vegas, he was a fully patched member and since then the only bump in the road has been the tension between the Hangmen and the Kings, which felt a little more personal to him given who the Hagmen’s contact was, Gretel Grimm. For the most part he just tries to live a quiet life, with Kala and looks toward their wedding and their future and is glad to forge a new family in the process. Even if it isn’t completely a fresh start it is a start none the less.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
is a DEMIROMATIC HETEROSEXUAL
has a rather thick GERMAN ACCENT over the past couple of years it has dwindled a bit
speaks both ENGLISH and GERMAN fluently
all in all he is a CALM and CHILL person but when he has to get something done, he does it both QUICKLY and EFFICIENTLY
DOESN’T OFTEN talk about germany past what is necessary for the Kings in the way of guns and trade
RELATIONSHIPS
NPC Anton Bogdanow father deceased
NPC unnamed Bogdanow mother deceased
NPC Sergei Bogdanow uncle alive
NPC Stiener Bogdanow cousin alive
NPC Felix Brenner best friend alive
@dulhaan Kala Dandekar fiancee/old lady, from the moment he saw her he’d wanted to know who she was, and the moment they spoke he’d wanted to be hers, there is no one in the world he trusts more than her and next to Felix she is who knows him best. While he’s not much for talking about Germany and his family there are no secrets between them, she keeps him grounded and level headed. There isn’t a thing he wouldn’t do for her.
@hexenbrenner Gretel Grimm childhood friend, they were both subjected to the same tyranny and violence back in Germany and he is saddened that his new-ish start can’t include a beer and a chat in their native tongue. However, he does secretly check to make sure she is okay, even if he doesn’t speak with her the way he’d like to.
FOUNDED IN THE 1960s, the vegas kings and the nevada hangmen have become the most feared and well known mc’s in more than just nevada. their president’s hold more power in vegas than the mayor of the city himself as the each of the club’s underhanded policies and tactics have never been investigated. the police have no desire to get themselves involved with the workings the two anarchic clubs. the kings own multiple bars and clubs in vegas, the hangmen own territories on the opposite side of the city. they both have their bases in roadhouses, the kings north of the city and the hangmen south of the city.
as they were both founded around the same time, the kings in 1962 and the hangmen in 1963, there has been times of peace and tension between the two groups. currently they are not at war, yet if members of the two clubs end up in the same place, a fight is likely to break out. they both deal in illicit items, such as weapons and drugs, yet their reputations precede them and cops often look the other way. initiation into the clubs is tough, but once a man has proven his worth to the mc, he’s got brothers for life. never betray them, the desert isn’t kind and neither are they.
RULES.
due to the graphic nature of this verse, it is asked that all muns be over the age of 18.
if you are triggered by drug use, violence, assault, alcohol, sexual situations, torture, gore, guns, smut, etc, then this isn’t the verse for you.
women are not going to be club members, they can either be an old lady, kings cunt / loose noose, or affiliate to the club.
male positions available for patched members or prospects
this is a high selectivity group - for the comfort of all the members as there are dark themes involved.
please submit your applications to me
no ooc drama, you will be removed from the group without hesitation
please tag all triggering material, ask if you need something specific tagged
humans only
no duplicated fc’s unless previously discussed
not activity based but please do try to be active
please track the tags v. on the devil’s path for ic interactions and the tag v. otdp for ooc interactions. tah applications with berrygroups and v. otdp
APPLICATION.
mun name & age : name : age : fc : position : short bio :
MEMBERS.
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