He shone like the radiant sunshine as it hits its peak midday. I did quite the opposite, a dull black silhouette that sort of trundled through life with no direction, no dreams to follow. He came into my life unexpectedly, although pretty much anything at that point of my life would have been unexpected. You see, I wasn't much an optimist and anything that happened that wasn't to the normal routine of my parents desperately trying to get me out of my room, be a normal teenager and live happily was something I'd class as unexpected. However he truly was unexpected. Of all the places I've been fortunate enough to travel in the world, the one year I decide to stay in the country and go to a caravan site, I meet this person who in fact lives no more than 30 minutes from myself. A seemingly quiet and uninterested male, that made small talk over requesting a picture together after both being volunteers in one of those tacky entertainment shows they have at caravan sites. Despite the nervous chit-chat, the constant trying to hide my face, wishing I could just be someone different at that moment, that I wasn't the disgusting shell of a person I thought I was, he stayed. He talked some more, he shone brighter and for the first time in months, maybe even years, I'd found something I was fascinated in, something that lit a spark in me. I was interested and if I wasn't wrong, I think he was too. In this noisy arcade of children running and guests making their way to the restrooms after dodging a nervous and fidgeting Hannah, I was found lost in my first conversation in months. I'd isolated myself from everyone and he seemed to change that in an instant. I got lost and forgot about trying to hide myself, trying to run and protect people from myself and accepted that maybe I could have found something. Although, this came in waves. Waves of 'Okay, this is going well' to 'He's laughing at me' and feeling my throat close up, thinking about an excuse I could make to just disappear and not return. Time passed and it got later till it was time for the entertainment centre to close and I snapped back to reality. I returned to my shy dull shell, just when I was getting comfortable with talking without analysing everything I was going to say before I said it. Walking to the exit however, he walked with me. All this time he was with a friend but I was orientated around him. They discussed meeting up again tomorrow with me to hang out and I couldn't understand. I instantly came to the conclusion they were joking or maybe it was just an empty promise and I'd never hear from them again, yet his friend took my number and I began to head back to my caravan. They walked with me. He offered me his coat. It was a fantasy. One long awaited dream of living a life as every other teen seemed to live. I said my goodbye before entering the caravan where my parents waited to interrogate me about my new 'friends' to which I just announced I wanted to go to bed. You see, all this time I was struggling with depression and anxiety, I had for such a long time before and it felt I couldn't live a normal life, in fact, this was reminded as soon as I put my head against my pillow. I thought about the possibility of a friendship but then also remembered how fucked my mind was this past year and how even though I was better than I initially was, I was still recovering. How could I expect anyone to understand or put up with it? I couldn't... But he proved he could. --TO BE CONTINUED--
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