a gentle grave

sol || 24 || vent acc

[wearyboneswaiting]

unpinning at GW 1

[wearyboneswaiting]

i’ve been sick for so long now lol even if it feels as if it wasn’t as bad, or that it’s not as bad now. It doesn’t matter. It’s always been bad, and I’ve been sick for so, so long. I was on here at fifteen and I’m on here at nearly twenty-five and I have nothing to show for it. The brief moments of respite i have had in my body have long since passed and it is now repulsive yet again. I really did think I would be the exception to this twisted illness, that I would walk all linear path never to waver. It was all hubris—I’m just another statistic. And I’m stuck, and I have to do it all over again. This has been my entire life.

[wearyboneswaiting]

binged but still lost 0.8 kgs — could have done better (let’s fast for today)

[saddi3grl]

[stoned-sh4rk]

[wearyboneswaiting]

omfg i can’t believe im over 220 pounds this is diabolical i need to be thrown in a cellar with minimal access to food

[wearyboneswaiting]

Okay I’m going to start doing weekly weighs starting monday bc otherwise it’s just not going to work I’ll just let complacency take over

kinda nervous bc i’m officially at my h.w ever— which i really didn’t think would happen given my s.w (but hey here’s to rockier bottoms)

regardless, I think the public aspect will help with accountability and it should get easier as the routine sets in, I think. I am a lot busier these days so it’s hard but I’m going to have to make it work.

Had a huge mental health crash earlier this year and I lost a ton of weight really fast then gained all of it back + more even faster bc of the slump afterwards (like I genuinely was very tuned out of it all and I wanted it to be that way) so much so that I have weird stretch marks on my stomach now (raised red ones) and I just generally feel really uncomfortable. I’m trying to deal with it but honestly my body at this weight just doesn’t feel real to me. Either way, I want to feel clean again.

[wearyboneswaiting]

WEIGHT LOG 1

16/06/25

103.4 kgs [H.W]

GW 1 : 96 kgs

GW 2 : 88 kgs

GW 3 : 80 kgs

GW 4 : 72 kgs

GW 5: 68 kgs

GW 6 : 64 kgs

GW 7 : 58 kgs

GW 8 : 52 kgs

GW 9 : 48 kgs

GW 10 : 46.8 kgs

UGW : 46.8 kgs

[wearyboneswaiting]

hunger cramps feel so good

[wearyboneswaiting]

Okay I’m going to start doing weekly weighs starting monday bc otherwise it’s just not going to work I’ll just let complacency take over

kinda nervous bc i’m officially at my h.w ever— which i really didn’t think would happen given my s.w (but hey here’s to rockier bottoms)

regardless, I think the public aspect will help with accountability and it should get easier as the routine sets in, I think. I am a lot busier these days so it’s hard but I’m going to have to make it work.

Had a huge mental health crash earlier this year and I lost a ton of weight really fast then gained all of it back + more even faster bc of the slump afterwards (like I genuinely was very tuned out of it all and I wanted it to be that way) so much so that I have weird stretch marks on my stomach now (raised red ones) and I just generally feel really uncomfortable. I’m trying to deal with it but honestly my body at this weight just doesn’t feel real to me. Either way, I want to feel clean again.

[jiniwithoutthex]

I want to look as sick as I feel. so they know it's real

[vmpsin]

“why are u so obsessed with calories” god forbid a woman has hobbies

[cassie4736251hm]

th1n$p0 hands (^o^)

[scaredlittlebunny]

I can actually wear the clothes I like when school starts back if I lock in now

[bork-woof]

Losing weight you gained back is so fucking painful

[ignoranceplayedgod]

[wearyboneswaiting]

i promised myself a gentle grave 💗