[the-first-flower]

[girltalk]

[grimeclown]

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

[texcritterspizzajamboree]

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

[meme-loving-stuck]

this is like Schrodinger’s fucking meme because half the time the pic is deleted and the other half it’s visible

[kaban-bang]

[latinamamiix]

stop with that nonchalant shit and bark for me

[prowl-autism-extraordinaire]

[kosmogrl]

[mon3trs]

in space no one can hear you moan like a girl

[fat-fuck-hairy-belly]

Ground control here, we can hear you just fine

[feralratbitesu]

can i be honest tho i kinda hate makeup bc i love licking my lips and rubbing my hands on my face like a cat or a fly annd i also love wiping my eyes like a sleepy infant all the time so basically i cant do it

[kosmogrl]

[diosapate]

looking at your phone is always one of these two experiences

[siratonin]

"I CANT HANDLE THIS" *handles this*

[siratonin]

"I CANT TAKE ANOTHER DAY" *takes another day*

[seashellronan]

guys i’m so sorry to say this but exercising and indulging in hobbies rather than scrolling on your phone for 200 hours actually does improve your mood and overall mental health, this has deeply upset me more than anyone

[marsixm]

mafia goon in the 1940’s who just started transitioning:

[jujutsukaisen0]

[zeusfuckedmymom]

“Circe?”

“Yes Odysseus?”

“Where’s my crew?”

[c3rvida3]

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

[c3rvida3]

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

[le-panda-chocovore]

Still no homo ?

[c3rvida3]

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.

[vetchtibbles]

I’ve just got to lock in < voice of someone who has never locked in before and shows no sign of making good on changing that now