Reflection
I've been through a lot this week, and a lot of difficulties that have made me think about how lucky I am.
I went to the mall with my friends the other day, and I was carrying several things at once, and I all of a sudden thought, "I couldn't do this with one arm." That's happened with a lot of things, actually. I'll be doing something with both of my hands, or balancing something or carrying something heavy and then I just think...I couldn't do this if I had one arm. Do you know what felt really strange when I was finished with this project? Tying my shoes. That's right, after a week of not tying my shoes and instead electing one of my parents (usually my dad) to tie my shoes or just not wearing shoes that need tying at all it felt strange, and foreign and alien to my fingers. Typing feels stranger too now, knowing that I can suddenly KABAM POW type super fast with both of my hands. I watched television too, and held the remote in my left while pressing buttons with my right, which felt super awkward and funny. I used to hold the remote in my left and stretch my thumb out to try and reach all the buttons---usually unsuccessfully. Putting on clothes is ridiculously easy now, woohooo! I can pour milk into my cereal without fear of spilling the whole gallon all over the floor, I can read books properly, I can write and draw again, thank god. I have never felt so frustrated and not being allowed to draw or write. I got so many ideas during the week that I just wanted to explode Minecraft Creeper-style.
All silliness aside, this project has made me think. It's made me think about how lucky I am to have all I have, and how lucky I am to be healthy, and able-bodied, and have a home, shelter, water, food, a wonderful family, an Internet connection and my very own Macbook to write this blog. All of the things that I have that I don't necessarily deserve. All of the people out there who have nothing, all of those people with terminal diseases that will never be cured, all of those people without homes, all of those people who have had a limb amputated for any reason, and how they will never be the same. I knew I could use my arm again at the end of the week, so there was no reason for me to despair. I didn't listen to the rules a few (okay, a lot of) times and there was comfort in knowing that my arm was still there and working at the end of the day. If you lose a limb, though, it's gone forever, and it's never coming back. You can only try to replace it with prosthetics, which aren't the same as the living flesh that used to exist there.
I am a rather well-off middle class teenager who thinks of little else than food, water, school, hygiene, and my own personal interests. Now, I am still a rather well-off middle class teenager who thinks of little else than food, water, school, hygiene, and my own personal interests, but when I do think of something else, it is extremely important. I need to be thankful for what I've been given and what I've been born with. I am so thankful now. I've learned to think about others more. I used to be a rather callous, selfish person. Now I think about others more, and think about how extremely fortunate I am.
I really liked doing this, despite all the difficulties.
It's made me feel.
It's made me angry, frustrated, and even cry once or twice.
But I learned all the same.