"I don't understand." @weepingvictoria - Tumblr Blog

Almost four months have passed. I forgive you. Happier than ever. Your Billie had it right. For the first time in my life I am living my life as I should. My daily walk with God is improving everyday. I pray for you. I pray for your new final girl. Life is too short to hold grudges. I do not hate you … never did. Being grateful for all the blessings in my life definitely has brought me great joy. Hopefully, you have joy as well.

Goodbye my once beloved Barnabas. I have no need or desire to blog about you anymore.

#goodbye barnabas #happier than ever #my covert narcissist husband taught me tough life lessons #stronger with God

Tomorrow will be three months. Wow! Life is better than I imagined. My health is better. The aches and pains are minimal. Digestive issues are almost nonexistent. Ironic that I should feel so much better without you. Perhaps it is because you are no longer here to drug me?!? Even the kitties are less stressed now that you are gone.

Are you still on your phone 24/7? Or has your new significant other put a stop to it? You found me through your electronic device in 2012. I became your target. You used me to get ahead. Once you used me up, your electronic device to find and communicate with your next target. You sat right beside me on the love seat, holding my hand with your left hand while your right hand sent love messages to heychelsia and abbeyroad. You thought I did not know.

There is little I do not know. But here’s the kicker, I do not care. Yes, I know where you are, where your new target lives, where Ralph is…but I am better off without you. I thank God repeatedly for saving me from you.

Your gig is up. Your pharmily will realize what/who you really are. Look up covert narcissistic sociopath. Your name should be part of the definition.

What a sad little man you are. I am praying for you. Only 9 months to go for me to be completely free.

#betterwithoutBarnabas #covertnarcissist

#whatadingus81 #dailyreyskyisaridiculoushandle

#1981mag

It has been over two months now. You are not missed. People who loved you realize that the person they loved never existed. It was all a farce, an act. You targeted me all those years ago and became the man you knew I would be attracted to. Once you took everything from me, you showed yourself. You showed the depth of your deviousness and evil. I feel sorry for you. You will never truly know happiness, love, or joy. Yes, I pity you as you are quite pathetic. You think you have gotten away with this betrayal. Silly boy, I have been saved from a monster. Thank God you are gone. I pity you and pray for your WG victim.

#not a victim #pathetic loser #pathological liar #beware WG girlfriend

It has been a few days. The struggle to not think about you and your betrayal is difficult. I now know almost everything you ever told me was a lie. You created a sad story about your childhood and your marriage to your first wife. I believed it all. She beat you. She wouldn’t let you sleep. You had to stay beside her while she slept. If she woke up and you were not there, she hit and kicked you. She said she did not want relations with you. She reached out to other men on Facebook. She made you help her look sexy for other men, including your brother. She spent all your money on tee-shirts, hair pieces, and jewelry. She had notebooks filled with ways she wanted to hurt you. In addition to the writing, she drew scary pictures how she wanted to kill you. ALL OF THE ABOVE WERE LIES! Like a typical narcissist you twisted the facts. You were cruel to your first wife. You did private things to her that she did not know how to share with others. YOU DRUGGED HER! You evil, devious pervert. You have now set your sights on victim three. Will you drug her too? Will you poor mouth so you can get her money? Will you sweet talk her and make her believe the sun rises and sets on her? Will you send her texts saying how much you miss her all the time? Will you try to monopolize her every waking moment? Oh, how awful you are! You took my cat! I had him since birth. You had no right. I feel so stupid. I trusted someone who is pure evil. God help me put this betrayal behind me

#barnabasisevil #i married a narcissistic sociopath

Another day in hades … but now I recognize just how emotionally and mentally strong I am. While I will always love the Barnabas I thought you were, I know it was a facade. No matter what you have thrown at me or plan to do in the future, I will overcome. Good always triumphs over evil.

#I married a narcissistic sociopath #he drugged me to steal my live #i deserved better

Been reading about narcissistic abuse and the symptoms it causes in the recipient of that abuse. Wow! Barnabas you truly have done a number on me! I have no idea if I will ever get over this pain and hurt of your betrayal. I find it unfathomable that the man I chose to marry and to trust implicitly never truly existed. I loved an imaginary Barnabas. In reality you used me to escape your previous life. When you had what you needed to make your next move and convinced your pharmily that your wife (me) was just the worst, you took more than your share and pressed reset. I deserved better than you. I loved my Barnabas with everything I am.

I hope you find the life you want. I pray you will be a better man. I also pray you never drug anyone again. You drugged your first wife. You wrote how you wanted your kill her and her parents. Then you found me. You spun your sad stories of the abuse you dealt with by her hands. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. After all how could/why would anyone make up a story like that? To find his next victim, good old gullible trusting Victoria. You had no right to drug me. You stole days of my life from me. How anyone could be that evil is something I will never understand.

Please take your immature devious self and go back to your mom. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE TRICKED BY YOU! Unfortunately, you have set your sights on your next victim. I am praying for her.

#narcissist

#narcissistic personality disorder #evil #he drugged me #help me

Here’s to another day. I will strive to put one foot in front of the other; to smile when I feel like crying; to act like everything is fine. But, everything is not fine. I am not fine. Discovering that everything you ever told me was a lie … you never loved me … I was a means to an end. An opportunity to get ahead. You took the money and ran. You never looked back, nor will you. Oh, the great lies you told. And me, stupid, gullible, trusting me. I should have known you didn’t love me … ever. I thought you were my true love. Stupid, stupid, foolish me. I am pathetic. You are evil. I wish I had never, ever met you. You have stolen my joy. Shame on you.

#empty

It’s a blessing no one is reading my writings. The despair I am feeling is unfathomable. I am trying to be strong but this event has cut through my very soul. I trusted too much. I loved too much.

#I will overcome

Another difficult day. Continuously pushing down thoughts of you to try to have a day without tears. I am sure you have moved on to a new target and are living your best life. Good for you.

Somehow I have to come to terms with the fact my questions will never be answered. I will never know just how someone who pretends to be kind and caring could do the evil things you did to me. The only resolution I can come to is that you lack true empathy. You are a sociopath. I wish I could hate you. But I don’t. I hate what you did to me. I hate what you did to my children. I hate what you did to Amy.

For now, my story is going to be written here. Tucked away where you will never see it. Hopefully, by writing it here, I will be able to move on. I will not stay broken forever.

#barnabas collins #sociopath

Was I always a target, dear Barnabas? Did you ever love me? Perhaps you saw through the playfulness of my banter on Twitter all those years ago? You were the Barnabas all the female Dark Shadows role players wanted to seduce. Unlike the other Barnabas role players, you were gregarious and engaging. I thought it was fun to joke with you about all the women who sought after your attention.

Somehow you decided to seek me out. First, direct messages to discuss Dark Shadows. Then you spun the tales that you said were your daily existence in a small town with poor cell reception only after you crossed over the railroad tracks. How awful your life seemed!

Why did I have to believe the awful tales you told? Because that is who this Victoria is. Truthful to a fault. Always trying to find the good in people. Oh so gullible I am.

You must have recognized that I was an easy mark. I only wanted to be a friend to someone in need. I prayed for you daily. When your direct messages became more and more frequent, how could I let down my lonely, sad Barnabas? You needed me. I wanted to help make your life better.

How was I to know that eleven years later the depths of your deviousness would finally come to light? Everyday there is a new revelation of just how evil you are.

My dearest Barnabas, I loved you with all that I am. I do not understand. 💔

… to be continued

#dark shadows #barnabas collins #victoriawinters #i don’t understand

Today is Thanksgiving day. I should be thankful that Barnabas is gone. He left like a thief in the night. Too cowardly to say anything to me. Yes, I know. I should be thankful he left. After all, he drugged me regularly, making it impossible for me to wake up and have a normal life. He used me for money, to go places he would never again have the opportunity to go, stole my cat, and so much more. My head knows all of the things he did for the past five years behind my back were awful … oh, the lies he told! The lies he continues to tell.

Thank you, God, for removing him from my life!

Never thought I’d be where I am today. 💔I will recover!

#barnabas collins #better off now #I married a covert narcissistic pathological liar