“I feel like a deeply flawed person who is certainly undeserving of much admiration from other people.”
“We were occasionally evicted, and often didn’t have money for rent. Me, my mom and my brother, and usually at least one dog. Ninth grade was the first time that I was in the same school for two years. Up until that point we moved around constantly which meant that I was always kind of the new kid or the outsider and sometimes we changed schools in the middle of the school year, so I was always an outsider and my mom also would send me to school wearing, for instance, tights and plastic cowboy boots and I thought ‘This is a great uniform’, but the other kids didn’t think it was as cool as I thought. We never had a television, so I was sort of cut off from pop culture, and from intimate peer group. It made me more of an outsider, and a little bit more introverted and cautious, and, you know, uncertain of my surroundings, and I kind of withdrew and I also kind of started to find ways to mask my insecurities and to blend in with my environment. So one of the things that I would do is I would sort of take on characters. And I would go into character, and I would be a Russian foreign exchange student or I’d develop an Indian accent or something like that, I’d develop these little characters and accents and shticks and ways to be funny, as a way of ingratiating myself to the other kids.”
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