❝ are you kidding me? of course we’re in danger, look at us, we’re the epitome of slasher film characters. the only reason we aren’t dead yet is dramatic effect! ❞
i know i literally just posted this promo here but hey look i’ve moved blogs
Claire Keane
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Andulka

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Three Goblin Art

Origami Around
Sade Olutola

Janaina Medeiros
we're not kids anymore.
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#extradirty

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@weightcarried-a
❝ are you kidding me? of course we’re in danger, look at us, we’re the epitome of slasher film characters. the only reason we aren’t dead yet is dramatic effect! ❞
i know i literally just posted this promo here but hey look i’ve moved blogs
❝ are you kidding me? of course we’re in danger, look at us, we’re the epitome of slasher film characters. the only reason we aren’t dead yet is dramatic effect! ❞
i know i literally just posted this promo here but hey look i’ve moved blogs
would anyone be Too Inconvenienced if i remade this blog asjdkj i’m literally changing to the exact same url and copy pasting all my pages it’s just i want to redo my tags and having all the repeats there is gonna stress me out fjdks
John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid Starters
“Wish me luck out there.” “We’ve all gone too big too fast and then run out of room.” “We’ve all made a ‘Happy Birthday’ sign.” “I don’t need to trace it. I know how big letters should be.” “Yeah, but that past is the past.” “I mean, we’re all violent here, but you’re very friendly.” “And I don’t like confrontation cuz I’ve never been in a fight before.” “I don’t give off that vibe.” “Some people give off that vibe of like ‘Do not fuck with me.’ My vibe is more like ‘Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you’.” “I’m so open and vulnerable. I look like a doll that you point out molestation on.” “Show us on this white comedian where the man touched you.” “I got married since then.” “I love saying ‘my wife’. It sounds so adult.” “’My wife’ just has some kick ass to it, y’know?” “Marriage is gonna be very magical.” “I didn’t kill my wife!” “Ooh, who’s that fella? I bet he did kill his wife.” “When I was a kid I used to watch ‘America’s Most Wanted’ and I would always think to myself ‘How could another person kill someone? How could a human being kill another human being?’ And then I got cheated on and I was like ‘Oh, okay. I’m not gonna do it but I totally get it’.” “Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die.” “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” “It’s a bananas insulting expression.” “You’re not allowed to milk a cow that you don’t own.” “Ah-ha-ha, I take your milk!” [ mooing angrily ] “Roping in cows and getting milk out of them was never anything you were known for, ____.” “A lot of people think that you like bulls.” “Sure, s/he’s a bossy little Jew, but s/he takes care of you.” “I was raised Catholic, I don’t know if you can tell that from the everything about me.” “What’s the name of the bishop?” “That’s actually stand-up comedian Dan Levy.” “And a hush falls over the room.” “I was a French maid for a period of time. I was treated well in my day. I worked for a variety of sirs.” “Aw, she’s ugly.” “Cause you know how you lie to your parents?” “And then I got schooled because they introduced a bunch of new shit.” “Have a nice day.” “And also you having one.” “I like having a puppy that’s a bulldog, ‘cause it’s like having a baby that is also a grandma.” “Her body is young, her face is as old as time.” “Oh, the things I have seen, you cocksucker.” “_____ is my best friend in the world. I give her a million kisses a day.” “Hey, you’re bad at being a dog.” “Ah, yes, my title of alpha which I once had, how can I reclaim it?” “You need to show dominance over your puppy.” “Oh, yes, and what a mighty king I will be, eating dinner at 4:45 in the afternoon.” “We’re space aliens in a play about human beings that they wrote, but didn’t work that hard on.” “You’re not eating dinner, cocksucker.” “2029? That’s not a real year.” “What, were you two in the Eagles together? What is the animosity about?” “Stop snitchin’, motherfucker.” “You’re never too young to learn our national no-snitching policy.” “Hey, do you know what you’re supposed to say when a baby points at you and knowing says, ‘He has a penis?’. No, I”m asking. ‘Cuz I don’t know what to say in that situation.” “It’s okay, s/he’s just going through that phase where s/he says penis and vagina a lot.” “Well, y’know how I”m filled with rage? I’m so horny and angry all the time and I have no outlet for it. So… eggs.” “I don’t know. I know you told me. But I have had a very long day. I am very small. And I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.” “(First Name Middle Name Last Name), did you bite this nice man’s dick?” “Hey, doesn’t anyone wanna know why his dick was near my biters in the first place? Isn’t anyone curious as to how I had access?” “So, how’d you lose your arm?” “Well, I was born with only one arm.” “We’re not so different, you and I. You have your law practice, and I have all these fucking markers. I guess we both have responsibilities when you look at it that way.” “My dad loved us, he just didn’t care about our general happiness or self-esteem.” “My dad is cold-blooded. He once shushed a kid during Lion King on Broadway.” “You remember being 12, when you’re like ‘No one look at me or I’ll kill myself’?” “Ah! One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!” “Ooh, ducklings!” “Too old to a be a duckling. Quack, quack.” “My duckling days are behind me. _____, don’t you see? I’m a duck now.” “Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.” “He is a smooth and fantastic hillbilly who should be declared Emperor of the United States of America.” “Oh, me? I’m just an old old man. I don’t have the appetites.” “I slid in the room in my First Communion suit, ready to go.” “He never forgets a bitch. Ever.” “You can do whatever you want forever.” “You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.”
❝ are you kidding me? of course we’re in danger, look at us, we’re the epitome of slasher film characters. the only reason we aren’t dead yet is dramatic effect! ❞
@paniicstations ♡’d / for anyone !
“ hi. ” and with that, he sits down and immediately kicks his feet up on the table. it’s a simple game, one he and todd play every time they’re in a restaurant -- sit down at a stranger’s table and act like you’re meant to be there. bonus points if you can get them to let you stay the entire meal. “ what are you getting? i’m feeling the spaghetti. ”
SUCH A CLEVER LINE.
it’s safe to say he’s lost any and all interest in the conversation by this point – anyone who radiates as much negativity as her fails to keep him invested for long. chewing on his knuckle, rich kicks both feet onto the seat in front of him. ❛ were you trained in, like, an acting class to pretend you have a stick up your ass, or is that just natural for you ? ❜
oh, he’s kicking chairs now, that’s cool. whoever’s there is going to think she’s associated with this. “ i’m drawing on one of my previous performances -- the long suffering teenager who is critiquing a play, like any actress would. ” maybe she’s being a little too cruel, but hey, at least she didn’t come to this play with the intention of complaining to audience members.
MOMENTS THAT I’LL MISS. // @spikyfamily !
her eyes roll, though she smiles all the same, chucking claudia under the chin. ❛ it is true, claudia. i am stealing you from your papa. do you mind ? ❜ eyes remain trained on the child until her sentence ends – then she looks at joey, eyebrows raised, expression stony. ❛ maybe then he will sleep. ❜
he almost ignores her comment, shaking his head. “ is it weird that i’m like, afraid i’m gonna wake up from a nap and she’ll be a teenager? ” he talks to claudia, not to alice, hoping to alleviate some of this with a joke. “ two years ago i was buying a fake id and now i’m afraid her boyfriends are going to think i’m lame. ”
WE’LL PROBABLY FIGHT.
ollie grins, wide as ever, “ oh- really ? awesome, okay. i mean, i think he’ll reserve the pickup lines for when we’re exploring the place, but hey, if that means i don’t have to listen to them by myself, then that’s fine by me. ” he laughs to himself, before rocking back and forth on his toes, “ you mean i can reserve my place up at the top of the list forever ? knowing i’m up there might make being kept up another few hours a little more bearable. ”
“ trust me, however bad you think it is, it’s worse when you’re with him alone. really, you’re a saint, you just haven’t realized it yet. ” for all his complaining, he shakes his head and laughs. it wouldn’t be a real trip if he didn’t complain about everyone in the troop, and he thinks ollie gets that. “ you can have the spot until i die if you convince him to test the lines out on you and then tell me them later. they’re almost clever when they aren’t coming from him. ”
* OPEN !
“ here’s my proposition for why the band should allow co-ed dorms : i’m the only male clarinet, which means i’m always forced to room with the saxophones or -- God forbid -- the trumpets, which is just entirely unfair. basic band politics mean i should get to room with the other clarinets. ”
❛ I want to congratulate you for being on time. ❜ ollie to aidan jkdngd
what do you need a fake i.d. for? // @paniicstations
“ and i didn’t even need ian to call and guide me here. ” he laughs, but his voice holds a certain level of pride that’s difficult to disregard as a joke. being bad at directions is really only funny when you aren’t the one resisting the urge to punch a hole through your steering wheel. “ what’s on the agenda today? convincing mr. alvarez to let us have these meetings later in the day? ”
'56) things you said in the spur of the moment' for the thrice shy ot3...
things you said… // accepting!
1. BARLOW : “ hey, blake, did you – ” he shakes his head and rolls his eyes, like wow, what a silly mistake, before correcting himself. “ elder peterson, where did you put the batteries? ” but blake is already staring at him with a tilted head, and anaya’s sitting up and grinning. “ your name’s blake? that’s cute. it fits you. ” blake smiles at her, and she fixes her gaze on barlow. before she can speak, he’s already given in. “ it’s barlow. ” and then her nose is scrunched up, moments away from snorting. “ barlow cardon? you didn’t get very lucky there, did you?” blake starts laughing first, and it pushes anaya over the edge – she covers her mouth and speaks through the giggles. “ it’s cute, it fits you, too! you’re definitely a barlow. in a good way! ” “ a good way? ” he looks at blake, hoping for some kind of defense, but blake is just about as gone as anaya is, laughing into the crook of his elbow to muffle the noise. “ a barlow way! ” he says, leaning onto his hand. “ you are very barlow, i think. anaya’s very anaya, and you’re very barlow, and i’m very blake. ” both of them find that sentiment very hilarious, and barlow thinks it’s very juvenile – but they’re both laughing for the first time they have in a while, and okay, maybe it’s kind of cute. and when the laughter finally slows, he’s the one that mutters “ a barlow way ” just to make them start up again.
@weightcarried. // starter call.
❛ i’ve got a singular impression things are moving too fast. ❜
“ you know, i’ve found people will try to slow the world down for you if you ask them really politely. ”
@aniomarca // for anyone !
“ you like popcorn, right? who doesn’t like popcorn? ” he hates popcorn selling season. everyone else in the troop turns it into a game or ignores it entirely, but he can’t do anything other than get anxious. “ you know, if you buy popcorn, you can support your local boy scouts -- troop 54, that’s us! ”
@paniicstations // for ollie !!
“ one of my little brothers asked me if boy scouts is anything like m.inecraft, and i said yes, so now he wants to join a troop. i felt kind of bad at first, but then he said he wasn’t going to join troop 54 because i’m in it, so now i’m glad he’s gonna suffer through this. ”
(FAN) CASTING : TROOP 54.
corey alvarez -- a.lberto rosende
marcus noel -- k.odi smit m.cphee
aiden o’hara -- t.revor jackson
ian holloway -- t.oby regbo
liam vidal -- t.ravis turner
(FAN) CASTING : THRICE SHY.
anaya spencer -- r.eiya downs
blake peterson -- t.yler johnston
barlow cardon -- tom h.olland