I remember the first time my scale read ‘error’. It ticked up to 408lbs and then the dreaded letters appeared.
I remember the first time I ate enough for more than 3 people. Just 3 is somewhat common for me.
I remember the first time my knees hurt just from trying to stand up. I’m really heavy. That was 40lbs ago.
I remember the first time I became so full my overhang was lifted slightly off my fatpad. So full I was distended to absurdity.
I remember the first time I learned if I lifted up my gut with my arms, it relieved my lower back pain.
I remember the first time a chair broke beneath my weight, I would also end up breaking a couch, and a bed. Then a toilet cracked beneath my weight.
I remember the first time a car noticeably sunk and the metal squealed when I sat inside it, and then the reverse when I got out.
I remember the first time my belly popped a button off a shirt, then it would rip one. Same for my waist breaking buttons off pants, and my thighs ripped holes in the legs. I have also destroyed a few pairs of underwear when I’ve sat down.
I remember the first time I realized my chest is bigger than many others’ chests. Usually mine are bigger.
I remember the first time my side profile in the mirror shocked me. Can I be this wide? That is constant now.
I remember the first time I became winded just bending over it squatting down for longer than a minute or two.
I remember the first time someone implied I need an extended mechanical grabber to pick things up because I’m so fat that my belly prevents me.
I remember the first time I realized I’m getting too fat for easy penetration.
I remember the first time I needed to lift up my belly and get my arm underneath it to pleasure myself.
I remember the first time I was so stuffed full I couldn’t reach. My belly was stopping my completely no matter the position.
I remember the first time I realized nothing in most clothing stores fits me. I cannot shop in person usually.
I remember the first time I outgrew my favorite shirt. This happens constantly now.
I remember the first time I was out of breath from simply standing up after stuffing myself. This would create an inescapable pattern.
I remember the first time I ate an entire cake at once. I actually bought 2, couldn’t finish the second.
I remember the first time I ate so much I fell asleep trying to digest it. An extra large pizza from a local place that I ate 90% of.
I remember the first time I cured my insomnia by eating so much I couldn’t stay awake.
I remember the first time I learned my body was desirable, that there are people who love pigs. They love gigantic, overfed bellies.
I remember the first time I started trying to belch to make more room inside my gut. Pretty much every meal now.
I remember the first time I realized a single thigh of mine is bigger than most people’s entire torsos. My belly can threaten someone’s entire body in size.
I remember the first time I ate 15 cookies in a row. Regular habit now.
I remember the first time someone told me to count calories and start overeating every meal. I had 7-10k every single day for 12 days straight.
I remember the first time I ate enough for 8 people. An entire pizza, and 3 entrees completely inside my belly, with a 2 liter Diet Coke.
I remember the first time I ate so much I couldn’t swallow anymore, and my jaw hurt, and I was actively fighting to keep it down. More common now.
I remember the first time I ate an entire tailgater tray from a fast food restaurant.
I remember the first time I ate 8 combos worth of food. Almost the entire menu.
I remember the first time I smothered someone with just my belly. Completely enveloped their head in my overhang.
I remember the first time someone made fun of me and called me fat in public. Unprompted stranger. That hurt.
I remember the first time I wanted my belly to hang to my knees, and become so much bigger than it is now. That was 30lbs ago or so.
I remember the first time I considered myself too fat, too heavy for myself.
I remember the first time I strongly considered going much further past my max weight, just because someone asked me to.
I remember the first time I outgrew a measuring tape. Those 60”s just aren’t enough for my body now.
I remember the first time I realized I am living to eat.
