This is a rant, probably not worth reading but I'm writing anyway.
I am literally going insane.
For the past eight months, my family has been in utter despair. My brother lives at home with both myself and my parents. He is 21 years old and is living off my parents' income. He has been extremely disrespectful towards my parents, does not communicate, exacerbated their financial resources for his floundering, etc. My parents have been near bankrupt paying for all of his screw-ups while in college. Mother had an altercation with my brother on March 7th, 2014. He left home and went to live with my cousin and his partner. My brother decided it would be a great idea to lie to two of my aunts, my cousins, and basically my entire family sans my grandparents and tell them what horrible people we were, how badly he was treated at home, that we hated all of them, that he was told to get his "god-damned ass out of the house" (not true, I was present), etc.
My brother goes to live with my cousin and his partner. They are all acting "brand new" - believing him and disbelieving us, buying him $400 cell phones, taking him out to eat, letting him live rent free without any responsibilities, putting statuses on facebook about their "new life", blocking us on facebook, etc.
Finally the drama builds to a head and my grandmother calls a family meeting. You have to understand that our family is insanely close, spends every sunday together (this includes grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc etc), celebrates holidays together, takes special trips together, etc. My two aunts come in and verbally assault my mother and our family for "trying to cover up what we did", "lying", "telling half truths", etc. We were verbally crucified for about two hours. My brother was never thrown out of the house. He chose to leave. He asked me to help him pack. He laid it on thick for my family and they fully believed and supported him.
Finally, my brother found out that others were not going to support him for the rest of his life. He did not have the liberty of abusing those who were supporting him financially. My cousin confronted him about his behavior and tried to help him find work. He told my brother that he was not allowed to drain their resources or come and go as he pleased. He was a guest there and was not to abuse them or their home. He was to find a job and was pointed in all these directions (my cousin is an executive at a bank in our state, he has many connections). My brother would never take him up on his offers. He never moves to do anything. He doesn't try and doesn't seem to care.
My brother left my cousin's home and disappeared for several days. He came back to our home in early August. He is very quiet, will not seek work no matter who offers to help him (he has actually been offered jobs from concerned members of our community but does not take their offers). He stays in his dark room and plays video games, talks and curses at the top of his lungs, is a basic drain on everyone, and won't do anything for himself. It's almost like he has been immobilized by lack of self confidence. My brother attended two years of college, attempted a third year but lost all his scholarships due to his low GPA. Now he sees no point in going back to school and doesn't seem to want a job. It hurts to see my parents try so hard to get him to be a member of the family but he rejects us. No matter who attempts to talk to him - we are all met with silence.
My two aunts have become a gang - leaving my mother out of everything and are drowning in their self-pity and remorse for their actions - at least, we assume they feel guilty. I would hope so - since they believed a 21 yr old child over their sister of 50 years. Our family is very fragmented. We didn't attend any family meals or functions for several months after that and have only recently started going back to eat with the clan. Everyone has a forced smile. They only stay as long as they can tolerate it. Caught in the middle are my grandparents - my 84 yr old grandmother and 88 yr old grandfather. I am so thankful for them - they believed us and know how my brother is --- and more importantly how my aunts really are.
I have seen a side of my aunts that I never wished to see and hate my brother for what he has wrought upon the family. He doesn't care and doesn't seem to have any remorse for what he's done. I wish either he'd leave or I could...and one day I'll be going to professional school and getting out of my hometown but it's not soon enough. While everyone in my family works to take care of their own business, my brother is home...in the dark...doing nothing and being okay with not contributing. I lost a brother and two role models and I don't feel things will ever return to normal.
Sorry, I know this is long. If you read this, thank you. I just needed to get this out.
gamechangershow
titsay
stormborns
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
romaincrisis
