(;•͈́༚•͈̀)

@weirdgothxc

emily. intj. 26.

6,051 posts

biblically accurate Nico Robin

I think the purest form of love is just wanting someone to notice life with you. "taste this. look at that. hear this song." again and again. until you can't imagine noticing life without them.

we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason

torrents work like this

i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3

unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it

i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map

i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs

this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.

crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.

please learn to torrent

An expert guide to get started using torrentsTorrents are one of the most popular forms of file sharing on the internet, accounting for over

always use qbittorrent, do not use bittorrent or utorrent.

i’ve decided to keep track of all the books i read in 2026 and how i feel abt them so here it goes:

three body problem: 8.5/10, really liked the mystery set up and the beginning and the overall narrative structure. at times, felt i was missing out by not knowing much about the cultural revolution. i resolved to learn more about chinese history and checked out some books to read later. original sci-fi thoughts- the description of the creation of the sophons was one of my favorite parts. also enjoyed the world-building through vr. surprised and thrilled me. sometimes a bit slow.

the dark forest: 9.9/10, holy shit what a banger. liu cixin can not only write brilliant, grounded science fiction, but also stunned me with his sociology/anthropological philosophy of the universe. every part of this book was amazing. after finishing the series, the opening scene describing the ant on a tombstone is one of my favorite parts of the work as a whole. liu has a way of catching you into the mindset of the world, which makes his subversion of those expectations even more impactful.

death’s end: 9.7/10. i did not like the opening of this book at all, even when i went back to reread it after finishing the book. it felt too fantastical and incongruous with the rest of the story, even though it was clear what actually was happening by the midway point or so of the book. just a bit distracting. i also thought the “paintings” were a bit too obvious for me to believe that nobody ever made the connection. however. every other part of the book was amazing. of course, it was also soul crushing. the ending is optimistic, somewhat, but still left me uncomfortable and with a sense of mourning. i would call this series a tragic epic. the ending of the love story was not surprising (probably especially to audiences who were more familiar with the cultural references) but i still hoped i was wrong. to get so, painfully close… again, liu makes you believe what his characters believe, which makes it all the more crushing when they are wrong. i loved this book and series overall, but it left me unrelieved. i suppose that speaks to my confidence in altruism at this time.

i who have never known men: 9/10. i chose this book not knowing it was sci-fi and wanting something more grounded after finishing the three body problem. i was very wrong. however, this book was still a perfect next read. i was shocked by how similar the concepts were in these two books. harpman is a brilliant writer and the unnamed narrator was a well-rounded, complex character, a product of her environment, but with a shining humanity that she is unable to recognize. i could feel the horror upon their first discovery while traveling, the dread and the greater realization. i was exhausted by the events of the story, but never bored. instead, by the end, hopes completely crushed again and again, i too felt an acceptance for the inevitable, while also grieving the regrets and missed chances and questions that would be forever unanswered. while gender/sex/capitalism are all obvious themes in the book, i feel that they were secondary to overall themes of community. she lived in bondage and remained unbound to others. initially, she was never and always alone and then just. always alone. a sort of cosmic horror and tragedy. could benefit from many a reread, but i don’t know that i could ever open this book again.

the book of doors (audiobook, dnf): 4/10. this isn’t a book i would necessarily pick out for myself, but an acquaintance i’d like to get closer with recommended it, so i gave it a shot. overall, i will tell her positive things, because there are some positive things and she liked it a lot. however, this book was booooring. i usually listen to books at 1.5x speed, then 1.25x if im really enjoying them. i ended up listening to most of this at 2x speed.

it started off strong- fun bookish heroine you can easily project yourself onto and a great hook for an adventure! but, the author really has a habit of telling not showing, and then telling you again. characters were introduced, elaborated upon, and then unceremoniously tossed away. the male protagonist confused me- i pictured an older man, maybe like 45, since he, you know, had friends with advanced degrees and an estate then spent ten years in hiding following this. also, given his name of “fox,” i did go straight for david duchovny. so the romantic overture with the seemingly early 20s protagonist threw me for a loop even tho he was canonically hot. also. why does like every male romantic lead have a sweet tooth. grow up. the villainess was so unbelievably flat, without any real sense of motivation or character beyond “oo she evil.” and our protagonist started as a flat, reflective mirror to enable a lil harmless self-insert fun, but as we got to her “depth,” many of the details didn’t add up and her single-minded, pure-hearted motivation of “love my dead grandpa” was eye rolling at points. let me have this incredibly dangerous magical book… because my dead grandpa never got to travel. and we’re supposed to take this seriously? bitch you already backpacked over europe u know how to buy a plane ticket!

in summation- the author had a knack for expanding the boring parts of the story and squandering every world and character building opportunity. this book could have been both half as long and a trilogy. i will probably finish it when my libby hold hits, but out of a sense of obligation to a friend rather than any real interest.

algospeak (dnf): 2/10. worse filterworld. talks in circles. opens by explaining the metaphor “whack-a-mole” as if they are the first person who had ever said it.

the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes: 8/10, surprisingly well done. suzanne collins can WRITE. this book is a character study and a well-done one at that. snow’s descent into moral vacancy is believable, yet even knowing where snow ends up, you still root for him. great callbacks (foreshadowing?) of the original trilogy while still having merit as a standalone. there are some characters who verge on caricatures, but dont (imo) cross the line and become unbelievable. in the setting of panem, i actually believe a dr. gaul would exist. really enjoyed this book, fun and engaging and just the right amount of silly nonsense to be entertaining without being unbelievable.

dune messiah: 7.5/10, i’m about a week late writing this one oops. i think that the preface of this book did it dirty!! i was expecting a total slog based off of it, but this book was actually very enjoyable and profound?? i love a lil surveillance intrigue. also the determinism of paul, his certainty in himself being his undoing? the twist at the end? the image of paul walking off into the desert, blind? i don’t have any particular complaints, the story was well-crafted. i guess just frank herbert’s habit of throw-in-a-sci-fi-word bugs me. still, not the most amazing book i’ve ever read. i can’t pin anything, but did feel there was something lacking which is why it’s a 7.5. perhaps that’s what the preface was alluding towards?

sunrise on the reaping: 6/10, a good story but really felt like tragedy porn. like you knew exactly what was coming and it was still sad but i was mostly just relieved to know how it ended up happening.

viral: 8/10, well-researched. sometimes a bit repetitive. but this was a compelling exploration of the evidence for a non-natural origin of covid-19, or at the very least, the absolute lack of evidence for a natural origin of a spillover event. scientific data was hidden and manipulated and unfortunately the very possible hypothesis that the virus could have come from a lab or field work accident was discarded early on because of biased voices and the unfortunate association with conservative conspiracies. but also. i wonder how different the pandemic would have been if it was known to be a lab leak. would people have panicked more? would they have taken it more seriously? impossible to know, but terrifying to consider.

no longer human: 7/10, i think dostoevsky-esque is an accurate descriptor for this book. it’s an interesting psychological study and i found myself both relating to and repulsed by the narrator. to me, this had an element of critique of ethics systems driven by self-perception, particularly, maybe i’m super far off base, existentialism and how it cripples you. the pro/epilogue are brilliant and what sell the novel- otherwise, i think i would find this to be self-indulgent, similar to how i felt abt diary of an oxygen thief. the forward by the translator of my version was appalling tho lol.

the tragedy of liberation: 9/10, learned a lot. a very well written history. good use of personal stories and data to inform.

children of dune: 4/10, i swear the last 25% of this book took me twice as long to get through compared the rest of the book. some interesting things, but overall just too fucking weird. like i understand the thematic choices which drive the weirdness. but i still don’t like the weirdness. also the incest. way too much time spent on male protagonists while women get shafted again and again and again. took me another week to even have the energy to write this post. overall, i see why this one isn’t being made into a movie.

the master and margarita: 7/10, a friend recommended this to me and i enjoyed it a lot. i thought the book started exceptionally strong but found the tail end of book one to be rather slow after the “black magic act” had finished. i preferred book two for sure. the book was obviously critical of russian communism/literature society, i could understand this even without knowing much of the political context. i found the book to be funny. my favorite part was the tale of pontious pilot and his loyal dog in all its parts, but especially the ending ascendancy upon a moonbeam. what an image!

blue light hours: 3/10, this is really a novella imo. it feels sophomoric, even tho it’s mostly about someone’s freshman year. i found the mother/daughter relationship to be creepy and emotionally incestuous rather than heartwarming. both were the type i just want to scream at look!!! look at all the good things!!! stop making yourself miserable!!! if this was much longer, i wouldn’t have bothered to finish it. meh.

i’ve decided to keep track of all the books i read in 2026 and how i feel abt them so here it goes:

three body problem: 8.5/10, really liked the mystery set up and the beginning and the overall narrative structure. at times, felt i was missing out by not knowing much about the cultural revolution. i resolved to learn more about chinese history and checked out some books to read later. original sci-fi thoughts- the description of the creation of the sophons was one of my favorite parts. also enjoyed the world-building through vr. surprised and thrilled me. sometimes a bit slow.

the dark forest: 9.9/10, holy shit what a banger. liu cixin can not only write brilliant, grounded science fiction, but also stunned me with his sociology/anthropological philosophy of the universe. every part of this book was amazing. after finishing the series, the opening scene describing the ant on a tombstone is one of my favorite parts of the work as a whole. liu has a way of catching you into the mindset of the world, which makes his subversion of those expectations even more impactful.

death’s end: 9.7/10. i did not like the opening of this book at all, even when i went back to reread it after finishing the book. it felt too fantastical and incongruous with the rest of the story, even though it was clear what actually was happening by the midway point or so of the book. just a bit distracting. i also thought the “paintings” were a bit too obvious for me to believe that nobody ever made the connection. however. every other part of the book was amazing. of course, it was also soul crushing. the ending is optimistic, somewhat, but still left me uncomfortable and with a sense of mourning. i would call this series a tragic epic. the ending of the love story was not surprising (probably especially to audiences who were more familiar with the cultural references) but i still hoped i was wrong. to get so, painfully close… again, liu makes you believe what his characters believe, which makes it all the more crushing when they are wrong. i loved this book and series overall, but it left me unrelieved. i suppose that speaks to my confidence in altruism at this time.

i who have never known men: 9/10. i chose this book not knowing it was sci-fi and wanting something more grounded after finishing the three body problem. i was very wrong. however, this book was still a perfect next read. i was shocked by how similar the concepts were in these two books. harpman is a brilliant writer and the unnamed narrator was a well-rounded, complex character, a product of her environment, but with a shining humanity that she is unable to recognize. i could feel the horror upon their first discovery while traveling, the dread and the greater realization. i was exhausted by the events of the story, but never bored. instead, by the end, hopes completely crushed again and again, i too felt an acceptance for the inevitable, while also grieving the regrets and missed chances and questions that would be forever unanswered. while gender/sex/capitalism are all obvious themes in the book, i feel that they were secondary to overall themes of community. she lived in bondage and remained unbound to others. initially, she was never and always alone and then just. always alone. a sort of cosmic horror and tragedy. could benefit from many a reread, but i don’t know that i could ever open this book again.

the book of doors (audiobook, dnf): 4/10. this isn’t a book i would necessarily pick out for myself, but an acquaintance i’d like to get closer with recommended it, so i gave it a shot. overall, i will tell her positive things, because there are some positive things and she liked it a lot. however, this book was booooring. i usually listen to books at 1.5x speed, then 1.25x if im really enjoying them. i ended up listening to most of this at 2x speed.

it started off strong- fun bookish heroine you can easily project yourself onto and a great hook for an adventure! but, the author really has a habit of telling not showing, and then telling you again. characters were introduced, elaborated upon, and then unceremoniously tossed away. the male protagonist confused me- i pictured an older man, maybe like 45, since he, you know, had friends with advanced degrees and an estate then spent ten years in hiding following this. also, given his name of “fox,” i did go straight for david duchovny. so the romantic overture with the seemingly early 20s protagonist threw me for a loop even tho he was canonically hot. also. why does like every male romantic lead have a sweet tooth. grow up. the villainess was so unbelievably flat, without any real sense of motivation or character beyond “oo she evil.” and our protagonist started as a flat, reflective mirror to enable a lil harmless self-insert fun, but as we got to her “depth,” many of the details didn’t add up and her single-minded, pure-hearted motivation of “love my dead grandpa” was eye rolling at points. let me have this incredibly dangerous magical book… because my dead grandpa never got to travel. and we’re supposed to take this seriously? bitch you already backpacked over europe u know how to buy a plane ticket!

in summation- the author had a knack for expanding the boring parts of the story and squandering every world and character building opportunity. this book could have been both half as long and a trilogy. i will probably finish it when my libby hold hits, but out of a sense of obligation to a friend rather than any real interest.

algospeak (dnf): 2/10. worse filterworld. talks in circles. opens by explaining the metaphor “whack-a-mole” as if they are the first person who had ever said it.

the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes: 8/10, surprisingly well done. suzanne collins can WRITE. this book is a character study and a well-done one at that. snow’s descent into moral vacancy is believable, yet even knowing where snow ends up, you still root for him. great callbacks (foreshadowing?) of the original trilogy while still having merit as a standalone. there are some characters who verge on caricatures, but dont (imo) cross the line and become unbelievable. in the setting of panem, i actually believe a dr. gaul would exist. really enjoyed this book, fun and engaging and just the right amount of silly nonsense to be entertaining without being unbelievable.

dune messiah: 7.5/10, i’m about a week late writing this one oops. i think that the preface of this book did it dirty!! i was expecting a total slog based off of it, but this book was actually very enjoyable and profound?? i love a lil surveillance intrigue. also the determinism of paul, his certainty in himself being his undoing? the twist at the end? the image of paul walking off into the desert, blind? i don’t have any particular complaints, the story was well-crafted. i guess just frank herbert’s habit of throw-in-a-sci-fi-word bugs me. still, not the most amazing book i’ve ever read. i can’t pin anything, but did feel there was something lacking which is why it’s a 7.5. perhaps that’s what the preface was alluding towards?

sunrise on the reaping: 6/10, a good story but really felt like tragedy porn. like you knew exactly what was coming and it was still sad but i was mostly just relieved to know how it ended up happening.

viral: 8/10, well-researched. sometimes a bit repetitive. but this was a compelling exploration of the evidence for a non-natural origin of covid-19, or at the very least, the absolute lack of evidence for a natural origin of a spillover event. scientific data was hidden and manipulated and unfortunately the very possible hypothesis that the virus could have come from a lab or field work accident was discarded early on because of biased voices and the unfortunate association with conservative conspiracies. but also. i wonder how different the pandemic would have been if it was known to be a lab leak. would people have panicked more? would they have taken it more seriously? impossible to know, but terrifying to consider.

no longer human: 7/10, i think dostoevsky-esque is an accurate descriptor for this book. it’s an interesting psychological study and i found myself both relating to and repulsed by the narrator. to me, this had an element of critique of ethics systems driven by self-perception, particularly, maybe i’m super far off base, existentialism and how it cripples you. the pro/epilogue are brilliant and what sell the novel- otherwise, i think i would find this to be self-indulgent, similar to how i felt abt diary of an oxygen thief. the forward by the translator of my version was appalling tho lol.

the tragedy of liberation: 9/10, learned a lot. a very well written history. good use of personal stories and data to inform.

children of dune: 4/10, i swear the last 25% of this book took me twice as long to get through compared the rest of the book. some interesting things, but overall just too fucking weird. like i understand the thematic choices which drive the weirdness. but i still don’t like the weirdness. also the incest. way too much time spent on male protagonists while women get shafted again and again and again. took me another week to even have the energy to write this post. overall, i see why this one isn’t being made into a movie.

the master and margarita: 7/10, a friend recommended this to me and i enjoyed it a lot. i thought the book started exceptionally strong but found the tail end of book one to be rather slow after the “black magic act” had finished. i preferred book two for sure. the book was obviously critical of russian communism/literature society, i could understand this even without knowing much of the political context. i found the book to be funny. my favorite part was the tale of pontious pilot and his loyal dog in all its parts, but especially the ending ascendancy upon a moonbeam. what an image!

i’ve decided to keep track of all the books i read in 2026 and how i feel abt them so here it goes:

three body problem: 8.5/10, really liked the mystery set up and the beginning and the overall narrative structure. at times, felt i was missing out by not knowing much about the cultural revolution. i resolved to learn more about chinese history and checked out some books to read later. original sci-fi thoughts- the description of the creation of the sophons was one of my favorite parts. also enjoyed the world-building through vr. surprised and thrilled me. sometimes a bit slow.

the dark forest: 9.9/10, holy shit what a banger. liu cixin can not only write brilliant, grounded science fiction, but also stunned me with his sociology/anthropological philosophy of the universe. every part of this book was amazing. after finishing the series, the opening scene describing the ant on a tombstone is one of my favorite parts of the work as a whole. liu has a way of catching you into the mindset of the world, which makes his subversion of those expectations even more impactful.

death’s end: 9.7/10. i did not like the opening of this book at all, even when i went back to reread it after finishing the book. it felt too fantastical and incongruous with the rest of the story, even though it was clear what actually was happening by the midway point or so of the book. just a bit distracting. i also thought the “paintings” were a bit too obvious for me to believe that nobody ever made the connection. however. every other part of the book was amazing. of course, it was also soul crushing. the ending is optimistic, somewhat, but still left me uncomfortable and with a sense of mourning. i would call this series a tragic epic. the ending of the love story was not surprising (probably especially to audiences who were more familiar with the cultural references) but i still hoped i was wrong. to get so, painfully close… again, liu makes you believe what his characters believe, which makes it all the more crushing when they are wrong. i loved this book and series overall, but it left me unrelieved. i suppose that speaks to my confidence in altruism at this time.

i who have never known men: 9/10. i chose this book not knowing it was sci-fi and wanting something more grounded after finishing the three body problem. i was very wrong. however, this book was still a perfect next read. i was shocked by how similar the concepts were in these two books. harpman is a brilliant writer and the unnamed narrator was a well-rounded, complex character, a product of her environment, but with a shining humanity that she is unable to recognize. i could feel the horror upon their first discovery while traveling, the dread and the greater realization. i was exhausted by the events of the story, but never bored. instead, by the end, hopes completely crushed again and again, i too felt an acceptance for the inevitable, while also grieving the regrets and missed chances and questions that would be forever unanswered. while gender/sex/capitalism are all obvious themes in the book, i feel that they were secondary to overall themes of community. she lived in bondage and remained unbound to others. initially, she was never and always alone and then just. always alone. a sort of cosmic horror and tragedy. could benefit from many a reread, but i don’t know that i could ever open this book again.

the book of doors (audiobook, dnf): 4/10. this isn’t a book i would necessarily pick out for myself, but an acquaintance i’d like to get closer with recommended it, so i gave it a shot. overall, i will tell her positive things, because there are some positive things and she liked it a lot. however, this book was booooring. i usually listen to books at 1.5x speed, then 1.25x if im really enjoying them. i ended up listening to most of this at 2x speed.

it started off strong- fun bookish heroine you can easily project yourself onto and a great hook for an adventure! but, the author really has a habit of telling not showing, and then telling you again. characters were introduced, elaborated upon, and then unceremoniously tossed away. the male protagonist confused me- i pictured an older man, maybe like 45, since he, you know, had friends with advanced degrees and an estate then spent ten years in hiding following this. also, given his name of “fox,” i did go straight for david duchovny. so the romantic overture with the seemingly early 20s protagonist threw me for a loop even tho he was canonically hot. also. why does like every male romantic lead have a sweet tooth. grow up. the villainess was so unbelievably flat, without any real sense of motivation or character beyond “oo she evil.” and our protagonist started as a flat, reflective mirror to enable a lil harmless self-insert fun, but as we got to her “depth,” many of the details didn’t add up and her single-minded, pure-hearted motivation of “love my dead grandpa” was eye rolling at points. let me have this incredibly dangerous magical book… because my dead grandpa never got to travel. and we’re supposed to take this seriously? bitch you already backpacked over europe u know how to buy a plane ticket!

in summation- the author had a knack for expanding the boring parts of the story and squandering every world and character building opportunity. this book could have been both half as long and a trilogy. i will probably finish it when my libby hold hits, but out of a sense of obligation to a friend rather than any real interest.

algospeak (dnf): 2/10. worse filterworld. talks in circles. opens by explaining the metaphor “whack-a-mole” as if they are the first person who had ever said it.

the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes: 8/10, surprisingly well done. suzanne collins can WRITE. this book is a character study and a well-done one at that. snow’s descent into moral vacancy is believable, yet even knowing where snow ends up, you still root for him. great callbacks (foreshadowing?) of the original trilogy while still having merit as a standalone. there are some characters who verge on caricatures, but dont (imo) cross the line and become unbelievable. in the setting of panem, i actually believe a dr. gaul would exist. really enjoyed this book, fun and engaging and just the right amount of silly nonsense to be entertaining without being unbelievable.

dune messiah: 7.5/10, i’m about a week late writing this one oops. i think that the preface of this book did it dirty!! i was expecting a total slog based off of it, but this book was actually very enjoyable and profound?? i love a lil surveillance intrigue. also the determinism of paul, his certainty in himself being his undoing? the twist at the end? the image of paul walking off into the desert, blind? i don’t have any particular complaints, the story was well-crafted. i guess just frank herbert’s habit of throw-in-a-sci-fi-word bugs me. still, not the most amazing book i’ve ever read. i can’t pin anything, but did feel there was something lacking which is why it’s a 7.5. perhaps that’s what the preface was alluding towards?

sunrise on the reaping: 6/10, a good story but really felt like tragedy porn. like you knew exactly what was coming and it was still sad but i was mostly just relieved to know how it ended up happening.

viral: 8/10, well-researched. sometimes a bit repetitive. but this was a compelling exploration of the evidence for a non-natural origin of covid-19, or at the very least, the absolute lack of evidence for a natural origin of a spillover event. scientific data was hidden and manipulated and unfortunately the very possible hypothesis that the virus could have come from a lab or field work accident was discarded early on because of biased voices and the unfortunate association with conservative conspiracies. but also. i wonder how different the pandemic would have been if it was known to be a lab leak. would people have panicked more? would they have taken it more seriously? impossible to know, but terrifying to consider.

no longer human: 7/10, i think dostoevsky-esque is an accurate descriptor for this book. it’s an interesting psychological study and i found myself both relating to and repulsed by the narrator. to me, this had an element of critique of ethics systems driven by self-perception, particularly, maybe i’m super far off base, existentialism and how it cripples you. the pro/epilogue are brilliant and what sell the novel- otherwise, i think i would find this to be self-indulgent, similar to how i felt abt diary of an oxygen thief. the forward by the translator of my version was appalling tho lol.

the tragedy of liberation: 9/10, learned a lot. a very well written history. good use of personal stories and data to inform.

children of dune: 4/10, i swear the last 25% of this book took me twice as long to get through compared the rest of the book. some interesting things, but overall just too fucking weird. like i understand the thematic choices which drive the weirdness. but i still don’t like the weirdness. also the incest. way too much time spent on male protagonists while women get shafted again and again and again. took me another week to even have the energy to write this post. overall, i see why this one isn’t being made into a movie.

Opposable thumbs are handy

Dunno if this is real or false memory but I grew up watching soviet cartoons and "cute sturgeon wearing a bandana over her head" was like a reoccurring character design. But I haven't been able to find any screenshots. So either slavic bandana sturgeon is lost media, an original idea that came to me in a dream, or Google is falling apart piece by piece and we wont be able to find anything online ever again

Never Alone Being held, but from the inside Learning how to be with myself without leaving

Not pushing parts away, just letting them stay

It used to feel hard to get to that place But it’s getting easier to find now

And stay there a little longer

i’ve decided to keep track of all the books i read in 2026 and how i feel abt them so here it goes:

three body problem: 8.5/10, really liked the mystery set up and the beginning and the overall narrative structure. at times, felt i was missing out by not knowing much about the cultural revolution. i resolved to learn more about chinese history and checked out some books to read later. original sci-fi thoughts- the description of the creation of the sophons was one of my favorite parts. also enjoyed the world-building through vr. surprised and thrilled me. sometimes a bit slow.

the dark forest: 9.9/10, holy shit what a banger. liu cixin can not only write brilliant, grounded science fiction, but also stunned me with his sociology/anthropological philosophy of the universe. every part of this book was amazing. after finishing the series, the opening scene describing the ant on a tombstone is one of my favorite parts of the work as a whole. liu has a way of catching you into the mindset of the world, which makes his subversion of those expectations even more impactful.

death’s end: 9.7/10. i did not like the opening of this book at all, even when i went back to reread it after finishing the book. it felt too fantastical and incongruous with the rest of the story, even though it was clear what actually was happening by the midway point or so of the book. just a bit distracting. i also thought the “paintings” were a bit too obvious for me to believe that nobody ever made the connection. however. every other part of the book was amazing. of course, it was also soul crushing. the ending is optimistic, somewhat, but still left me uncomfortable and with a sense of mourning. i would call this series a tragic epic. the ending of the love story was not surprising (probably especially to audiences who were more familiar with the cultural references) but i still hoped i was wrong. to get so, painfully close… again, liu makes you believe what his characters believe, which makes it all the more crushing when they are wrong. i loved this book and series overall, but it left me unrelieved. i suppose that speaks to my confidence in altruism at this time.

i who have never known men: 9/10. i chose this book not knowing it was sci-fi and wanting something more grounded after finishing the three body problem. i was very wrong. however, this book was still a perfect next read. i was shocked by how similar the concepts were in these two books. harpman is a brilliant writer and the unnamed narrator was a well-rounded, complex character, a product of her environment, but with a shining humanity that she is unable to recognize. i could feel the horror upon their first discovery while traveling, the dread and the greater realization. i was exhausted by the events of the story, but never bored. instead, by the end, hopes completely crushed again and again, i too felt an acceptance for the inevitable, while also grieving the regrets and missed chances and questions that would be forever unanswered. while gender/sex/capitalism are all obvious themes in the book, i feel that they were secondary to overall themes of community. she lived in bondage and remained unbound to others. initially, she was never and always alone and then just. always alone. a sort of cosmic horror and tragedy. could benefit from many a reread, but i don’t know that i could ever open this book again.

the book of doors (audiobook, dnf): 4/10. this isn’t a book i would necessarily pick out for myself, but an acquaintance i’d like to get closer with recommended it, so i gave it a shot. overall, i will tell her positive things, because there are some positive things and she liked it a lot. however, this book was booooring. i usually listen to books at 1.5x speed, then 1.25x if im really enjoying them. i ended up listening to most of this at 2x speed.

it started off strong- fun bookish heroine you can easily project yourself onto and a great hook for an adventure! but, the author really has a habit of telling not showing, and then telling you again. characters were introduced, elaborated upon, and then unceremoniously tossed away. the male protagonist confused me- i pictured an older man, maybe like 45, since he, you know, had friends with advanced degrees and an estate then spent ten years in hiding following this. also, given his name of “fox,” i did go straight for david duchovny. so the romantic overture with the seemingly early 20s protagonist threw me for a loop even tho he was canonically hot. also. why does like every male romantic lead have a sweet tooth. grow up. the villainess was so unbelievably flat, without any real sense of motivation or character beyond “oo she evil.” and our protagonist started as a flat, reflective mirror to enable a lil harmless self-insert fun, but as we got to her “depth,” many of the details didn’t add up and her single-minded, pure-hearted motivation of “love my dead grandpa” was eye rolling at points. let me have this incredibly dangerous magical book… because my dead grandpa never got to travel. and we’re supposed to take this seriously? bitch you already backpacked over europe u know how to buy a plane ticket!

in summation- the author had a knack for expanding the boring parts of the story and squandering every world and character building opportunity. this book could have been both half as long and a trilogy. i will probably finish it when my libby hold hits, but out of a sense of obligation to a friend rather than any real interest.

algospeak (dnf): 2/10. worse filterworld. talks in circles. opens by explaining the metaphor “whack-a-mole” as if they are the first person who had ever said it.

the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes: 8/10, surprisingly well done. suzanne collins can WRITE. this book is a character study and a well-done one at that. snow’s descent into moral vacancy is believable, yet even knowing where snow ends up, you still root for him. great callbacks (foreshadowing?) of the original trilogy while still having merit as a standalone. there are some characters who verge on caricatures, but dont (imo) cross the line and become unbelievable. in the setting of panem, i actually believe a dr. gaul would exist. really enjoyed this book, fun and engaging and just the right amount of silly nonsense to be entertaining without being unbelievable.

dune messiah: 7.5/10, i’m about a week late writing this one oops. i think that the preface of this book did it dirty!! i was expecting a total slog based off of it, but this book was actually very enjoyable and profound?? i love a lil surveillance intrigue. also the determinism of paul, his certainty in himself being his undoing? the twist at the end? the image of paul walking off into the desert, blind? i don’t have any particular complaints, the story was well-crafted. i guess just frank herbert’s habit of throw-in-a-sci-fi-word bugs me. still, not the most amazing book i’ve ever read. i can’t pin anything, but did feel there was something lacking which is why it’s a 7.5. perhaps that’s what the preface was alluding towards?

sunrise on the reaping: 6/10, a good story but really felt like tragedy porn. like you knew exactly what was coming and it was still sad but i was mostly just relieved to know how it ended up happening.

viral: 8/10, well-researched. sometimes a bit repetitive. but this was a compelling exploration of the evidence for a non-natural origin of covid-19, or at the very least, the absolute lack of evidence for a natural origin of a spillover event. scientific data was hidden and manipulated and unfortunately the very possible hypothesis that the virus could have come from a lab or field work accident was discarded early on because of biased voices and the unfortunate association with conservative conspiracies. but also. i wonder how different the pandemic would have been if it was known to be a lab leak. would people have panicked more? would they have taken it more seriously? impossible to know, but terrifying to consider.

no longer human: 7/10, i think dostoevsky-esque is an accurate descriptor for this book. it’s an interesting psychological study and i found myself both relating to and repulsed by the narrator. to me, this had an element of critique of ethics systems driven by self-perception, particularly, maybe i’m super far off base, existentialism and how it cripples you. the pro/epilogue are brilliant and what sell the novel- otherwise, i think i would find this to be self-indulgent, similar to how i felt abt diary of an oxygen thief. the forward by the translator of my version was appalling tho lol.

the tragedy of liberation: 9/10, learned a lot. a very well written history. good use of personal stories and data to inform.

#personal #books 2026

i’ve decided to keep track of all the books i read in 2026 and how i feel abt them so here it goes:

three body problem: 8.5/10, really liked the mystery set up and the beginning and the overall narrative structure. at times, felt i was missing out by not knowing much about the cultural revolution. i resolved to learn more about chinese history and checked out some books to read later. original sci-fi thoughts- the description of the creation of the sophons was one of my favorite parts. also enjoyed the world-building through vr. surprised and thrilled me. sometimes a bit slow.

the dark forest: 9.9/10, holy shit what a banger. liu cixin can not only write brilliant, grounded science fiction, but also stunned me with his sociology/anthropological philosophy of the universe. every part of this book was amazing. after finishing the series, the opening scene describing the ant on a tombstone is one of my favorite parts of the work as a whole. liu has a way of catching you into the mindset of the world, which makes his subversion of those expectations even more impactful.

death’s end: 9.7/10. i did not like the opening of this book at all, even when i went back to reread it after finishing the book. it felt too fantastical and incongruous with the rest of the story, even though it was clear what actually was happening by the midway point or so of the book. just a bit distracting. i also thought the “paintings” were a bit too obvious for me to believe that nobody ever made the connection. however. every other part of the book was amazing. of course, it was also soul crushing. the ending is optimistic, somewhat, but still left me uncomfortable and with a sense of mourning. i would call this series a tragic epic. the ending of the love story was not surprising (probably especially to audiences who were more familiar with the cultural references) but i still hoped i was wrong. to get so, painfully close… again, liu makes you believe what his characters believe, which makes it all the more crushing when they are wrong. i loved this book and series overall, but it left me unrelieved. i suppose that speaks to my confidence in altruism at this time.

i who have never known men: 9/10. i chose this book not knowing it was sci-fi and wanting something more grounded after finishing the three body problem. i was very wrong. however, this book was still a perfect next read. i was shocked by how similar the concepts were in these two books. harpman is a brilliant writer and the unnamed narrator was a well-rounded, complex character, a product of her environment, but with a shining humanity that she is unable to recognize. i could feel the horror upon their first discovery while traveling, the dread and the greater realization. i was exhausted by the events of the story, but never bored. instead, by the end, hopes completely crushed again and again, i too felt an acceptance for the inevitable, while also grieving the regrets and missed chances and questions that would be forever unanswered. while gender/sex/capitalism are all obvious themes in the book, i feel that they were secondary to overall themes of community. she lived in bondage and remained unbound to others. initially, she was never and always alone and then just. always alone. a sort of cosmic horror and tragedy. could benefit from many a reread, but i don’t know that i could ever open this book again.

the book of doors (audiobook, dnf): 4/10. this isn’t a book i would necessarily pick out for myself, but an acquaintance i’d like to get closer with recommended it, so i gave it a shot. overall, i will tell her positive things, because there are some positive things and she liked it a lot. however, this book was booooring. i usually listen to books at 1.5x speed, then 1.25x if im really enjoying them. i ended up listening to most of this at 2x speed.

it started off strong- fun bookish heroine you can easily project yourself onto and a great hook for an adventure! but, the author really has a habit of telling not showing, and then telling you again. characters were introduced, elaborated upon, and then unceremoniously tossed away. the male protagonist confused me- i pictured an older man, maybe like 45, since he, you know, had friends with advanced degrees and an estate then spent ten years in hiding following this. also, given his name of “fox,” i did go straight for david duchovny. so the romantic overture with the seemingly early 20s protagonist threw me for a loop even tho he was canonically hot. also. why does like every male romantic lead have a sweet tooth. grow up. the villainess was so unbelievably flat, without any real sense of motivation or character beyond “oo she evil.” and our protagonist started as a flat, reflective mirror to enable a lil harmless self-insert fun, but as we got to her “depth,” many of the details didn’t add up and her single-minded, pure-hearted motivation of “love my dead grandpa” was eye rolling at points. let me have this incredibly dangerous magical book… because my dead grandpa never got to travel. and we’re supposed to take this seriously? bitch you already backpacked over europe u know how to buy a plane ticket!

in summation- the author had a knack for expanding the boring parts of the story and squandering every world and character building opportunity. this book could have been both half as long and a trilogy. i will probably finish it when my libby hold hits, but out of a sense of obligation to a friend rather than any real interest.

algospeak (dnf): 2/10. worse filterworld. talks in circles. opens by explaining the metaphor “whack-a-mole” as if they are the first person who had ever said it.

the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes: 8/10, surprisingly well done. suzanne collins can WRITE. this book is a character study and a well-done one at that. snow’s descent into moral vacancy is believable, yet even knowing where snow ends up, you still root for him. great callbacks (foreshadowing?) of the original trilogy while still having merit as a standalone. there are some characters who verge on caricatures, but dont (imo) cross the line and become unbelievable. in the setting of panem, i actually believe a dr. gaul would exist. really enjoyed this book, fun and engaging and just the right amount of silly nonsense to be entertaining without being unbelievable.

dune messiah: 7.5/10, i’m about a week late writing this one oops. i think that the preface of this book did it dirty!! i was expecting a total slog based off of it, but this book was actually very enjoyable and profound?? i love a lil surveillance intrigue. also the determinism of paul, his certainty in himself being his undoing? the twist at the end? the image of paul walking off into the desert, blind? i don’t have any particular complaints, the story was well-crafted. i guess just frank herbert’s habit of throw-in-a-sci-fi-word bugs me. still, not the most amazing book i’ve ever read. i can’t pin anything, but did feel there was something lacking which is why it’s a 7.5. perhaps that’s what the preface was alluding towards?

sunrise on the reaping: 6/10, a good story but really felt like tragedy porn. like you knew exactly what was coming and it was still sad but i was mostly just relieved to know how it ended up happening.

viral: 8/10, well-researched. sometimes a bit repetitive. but this was a compelling exploration of the evidence for a non-natural origin of covid-19, or at the very least, the absolute lack of evidence for a natural origin of a spillover event. scientific data was hidden and manipulated and unfortunately the very possible hypothesis that the virus could have come from a lab or field work accident was discarded early on because of biased voices and the unfortunate association with conservative conspiracies. but also. i wonder how different the pandemic would have been if it was known to be a lab leak. would people have panicked more? would they have taken it more seriously? impossible to know, but terrifying to consider.

no longer human: 7/10, i think dostoevsky-esque is an accurate descriptor for this book. it’s an interesting psychological study and i found myself both relating to and repulsed by the narrator. to me, this had an element of critique of ethics systems driven by self-perception, particularly, maybe i’m super far off base, existentialism and how it cripples you. the pro/epilogue are brilliant and what sell the novel- otherwise, i think i would find this to be self-indulgent, similar to how i felt abt diary of an oxygen thief. the forward by the translator of my version was appalling tho lol.

Added an S tier new term to my lexicon today. What's up, my siliceous oozes

gallusrostromegalus

#When eating an ooze that’s siliceous #I found that it wasn’t delicious. #Though seafood is great #The ooze on my plate #Is mud - and that’s not nutritious! Thank you @owl--feathers for this lovely limerick that taught me how 'Siliceous' is pronounced!

i’ve decided to keep track of all the books i read in 2026 and how i feel abt them so here it goes:

three body problem: 8.5/10, really liked the mystery set up and the beginning and the overall narrative structure. at times, felt i was missing out by not knowing much about the cultural revolution. i resolved to learn more about chinese history and checked out some books to read later. original sci-fi thoughts- the description of the creation of the sophons was one of my favorite parts. also enjoyed the world-building through vr. surprised and thrilled me. sometimes a bit slow.

the dark forest: 9.9/10, holy shit what a banger. liu cixin can not only write brilliant, grounded science fiction, but also stunned me with his sociology/anthropological philosophy of the universe. every part of this book was amazing. after finishing the series, the opening scene describing the ant on a tombstone is one of my favorite parts of the work as a whole. liu has a way of catching you into the mindset of the world, which makes his subversion of those expectations even more impactful.

death’s end: 9.7/10. i did not like the opening of this book at all, even when i went back to reread it after finishing the book. it felt too fantastical and incongruous with the rest of the story, even though it was clear what actually was happening by the midway point or so of the book. just a bit distracting. i also thought the “paintings” were a bit too obvious for me to believe that nobody ever made the connection. however. every other part of the book was amazing. of course, it was also soul crushing. the ending is optimistic, somewhat, but still left me uncomfortable and with a sense of mourning. i would call this series a tragic epic. the ending of the love story was not surprising (probably especially to audiences who were more familiar with the cultural references) but i still hoped i was wrong. to get so, painfully close… again, liu makes you believe what his characters believe, which makes it all the more crushing when they are wrong. i loved this book and series overall, but it left me unrelieved. i suppose that speaks to my confidence in altruism at this time.

i who have never known men: 9/10. i chose this book not knowing it was sci-fi and wanting something more grounded after finishing the three body problem. i was very wrong. however, this book was still a perfect next read. i was shocked by how similar the concepts were in these two books. harpman is a brilliant writer and the unnamed narrator was a well-rounded, complex character, a product of her environment, but with a shining humanity that she is unable to recognize. i could feel the horror upon their first discovery while traveling, the dread and the greater realization. i was exhausted by the events of the story, but never bored. instead, by the end, hopes completely crushed again and again, i too felt an acceptance for the inevitable, while also grieving the regrets and missed chances and questions that would be forever unanswered. while gender/sex/capitalism are all obvious themes in the book, i feel that they were secondary to overall themes of community. she lived in bondage and remained unbound to others. initially, she was never and always alone and then just. always alone. a sort of cosmic horror and tragedy. could benefit from many a reread, but i don’t know that i could ever open this book again.

the book of doors (audiobook, dnf): 4/10. this isn’t a book i would necessarily pick out for myself, but an acquaintance i’d like to get closer with recommended it, so i gave it a shot. overall, i will tell her positive things, because there are some positive things and she liked it a lot. however, this book was booooring. i usually listen to books at 1.5x speed, then 1.25x if im really enjoying them. i ended up listening to most of this at 2x speed.

it started off strong- fun bookish heroine you can easily project yourself onto and a great hook for an adventure! but, the author really has a habit of telling not showing, and then telling you again. characters were introduced, elaborated upon, and then unceremoniously tossed away. the male protagonist confused me- i pictured an older man, maybe like 45, since he, you know, had friends with advanced degrees and an estate then spent ten years in hiding following this. also, given his name of “fox,” i did go straight for david duchovny. so the romantic overture with the seemingly early 20s protagonist threw me for a loop even tho he was canonically hot. also. why does like every male romantic lead have a sweet tooth. grow up. the villainess was so unbelievably flat, without any real sense of motivation or character beyond “oo she evil.” and our protagonist started as a flat, reflective mirror to enable a lil harmless self-insert fun, but as we got to her “depth,” many of the details didn’t add up and her single-minded, pure-hearted motivation of “love my dead grandpa” was eye rolling at points. let me have this incredibly dangerous magical book… because my dead grandpa never got to travel. and we’re supposed to take this seriously? bitch you already backpacked over europe u know how to buy a plane ticket!

in summation- the author had a knack for expanding the boring parts of the story and squandering every world and character building opportunity. this book could have been both half as long and a trilogy. i will probably finish it when my libby hold hits, but out of a sense of obligation to a friend rather than any real interest.

algospeak (dnf): 2/10. worse filterworld. talks in circles. opens by explaining the metaphor “whack-a-mole” as if they are the first person who had ever said it.

the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes: 8/10, surprisingly well done. suzanne collins can WRITE. this book is a character study and a well-done one at that. snow’s descent into moral vacancy is believable, yet even knowing where snow ends up, you still root for him. great callbacks (foreshadowing?) of the original trilogy while still having merit as a standalone. there are some characters who verge on caricatures, but dont (imo) cross the line and become unbelievable. in the setting of panem, i actually believe a dr. gaul would exist. really enjoyed this book, fun and engaging and just the right amount of silly nonsense to be entertaining without being unbelievable.

dune messiah: 7.5/10, i’m about a week late writing this one oops. i think that the preface of this book did it dirty!! i was expecting a total slog based off of it, but this book was actually very enjoyable and profound?? i love a lil surveillance intrigue. also the determinism of paul, his certainty in himself being his undoing? the twist at the end? the image of paul walking off into the desert, blind? i don’t have any particular complaints, the story was well-crafted. i guess just frank herbert’s habit of throw-in-a-sci-fi-word bugs me. still, not the most amazing book i’ve ever read. i can’t pin anything, but did feel there was something lacking which is why it’s a 7.5. perhaps that’s what the preface was alluding towards?

sunrise on the reaping: 6/10, a good story but really felt like tragedy porn. like you knew exactly what was coming and it was still sad but i was mostly just relieved to know how it ended up happening.

viral: 8/10, well-researched. sometimes a bit repetitive. but this was a compelling exploration of the evidence for a non-natural origin of covid-19, or at the very least, the absolute lack of evidence for a natural origin of a spillover event. scientific data was hidden and manipulated and unfortunately the very possible hypothesis that the virus could have come from a lab or field work accident was discarded early on because of biased voices and the unfortunate association with conservative conspiracies. but also. i wonder how different the pandemic would have been if it was known to be a lab leak. would people have panicked more? would they have taken it more seriously? impossible to know, but terrifying to consider.

i’ve decided to keep track of all the books i read in 2026 and how i feel abt them so here it goes:

three body problem: 8.5/10, really liked the mystery set up and the beginning and the overall narrative structure. at times, felt i was missing out by not knowing much about the cultural revolution. i resolved to learn more about chinese history and checked out some books to read later. original sci-fi thoughts- the description of the creation of the sophons was one of my favorite parts. also enjoyed the world-building through vr. surprised and thrilled me. sometimes a bit slow.

the dark forest: 9.9/10, holy shit what a banger. liu cixin can not only write brilliant, grounded science fiction, but also stunned me with his sociology/anthropological philosophy of the universe. every part of this book was amazing. after finishing the series, the opening scene describing the ant on a tombstone is one of my favorite parts of the work as a whole. liu has a way of catching you into the mindset of the world, which makes his subversion of those expectations even more impactful.

death’s end: 9.7/10. i did not like the opening of this book at all, even when i went back to reread it after finishing the book. it felt too fantastical and incongruous with the rest of the story, even though it was clear what actually was happening by the midway point or so of the book. just a bit distracting. i also thought the “paintings” were a bit too obvious for me to believe that nobody ever made the connection. however. every other part of the book was amazing. of course, it was also soul crushing. the ending is optimistic, somewhat, but still left me uncomfortable and with a sense of mourning. i would call this series a tragic epic. the ending of the love story was not surprising (probably especially to audiences who were more familiar with the cultural references) but i still hoped i was wrong. to get so, painfully close… again, liu makes you believe what his characters believe, which makes it all the more crushing when they are wrong. i loved this book and series overall, but it left me unrelieved. i suppose that speaks to my confidence in altruism at this time.

i who have never known men: 9/10. i chose this book not knowing it was sci-fi and wanting something more grounded after finishing the three body problem. i was very wrong. however, this book was still a perfect next read. i was shocked by how similar the concepts were in these two books. harpman is a brilliant writer and the unnamed narrator was a well-rounded, complex character, a product of her environment, but with a shining humanity that she is unable to recognize. i could feel the horror upon their first discovery while traveling, the dread and the greater realization. i was exhausted by the events of the story, but never bored. instead, by the end, hopes completely crushed again and again, i too felt an acceptance for the inevitable, while also grieving the regrets and missed chances and questions that would be forever unanswered. while gender/sex/capitalism are all obvious themes in the book, i feel that they were secondary to overall themes of community. she lived in bondage and remained unbound to others. initially, she was never and always alone and then just. always alone. a sort of cosmic horror and tragedy. could benefit from many a reread, but i don’t know that i could ever open this book again.

the book of doors (audiobook, dnf): 4/10. this isn’t a book i would necessarily pick out for myself, but an acquaintance i’d like to get closer with recommended it, so i gave it a shot. overall, i will tell her positive things, because there are some positive things and she liked it a lot. however, this book was booooring. i usually listen to books at 1.5x speed, then 1.25x if im really enjoying them. i ended up listening to most of this at 2x speed.

it started off strong- fun bookish heroine you can easily project yourself onto and a great hook for an adventure! but, the author really has a habit of telling not showing, and then telling you again. characters were introduced, elaborated upon, and then unceremoniously tossed away. the male protagonist confused me- i pictured an older man, maybe like 45, since he, you know, had friends with advanced degrees and an estate then spent ten years in hiding following this. also, given his name of “fox,” i did go straight for david duchovny. so the romantic overture with the seemingly early 20s protagonist threw me for a loop even tho he was canonically hot. also. why does like every male romantic lead have a sweet tooth. grow up. the villainess was so unbelievably flat, without any real sense of motivation or character beyond “oo she evil.” and our protagonist started as a flat, reflective mirror to enable a lil harmless self-insert fun, but as we got to her “depth,” many of the details didn’t add up and her single-minded, pure-hearted motivation of “love my dead grandpa” was eye rolling at points. let me have this incredibly dangerous magical book… because my dead grandpa never got to travel. and we’re supposed to take this seriously? bitch you already backpacked over europe u know how to buy a plane ticket!

in summation- the author had a knack for expanding the boring parts of the story and squandering every world and character building opportunity. this book could have been both half as long and a trilogy. i will probably finish it when my libby hold hits, but out of a sense of obligation to a friend rather than any real interest.

algospeak (dnf): 2/10. worse filterworld. talks in circles. opens by explaining the metaphor “whack-a-mole” as if they are the first person who had ever said it.

the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes: 8/10, surprisingly well done. suzanne collins can WRITE. this book is a character study and a well-done one at that. snow’s descent into moral vacancy is believable, yet even knowing where snow ends up, you still root for him. great callbacks (foreshadowing?) of the original trilogy while still having merit as a standalone. there are some characters who verge on caricatures, but dont (imo) cross the line and become unbelievable. in the setting of panem, i actually believe a dr. gaul would exist. really enjoyed this book, fun and engaging and just the right amount of silly nonsense to be entertaining without being unbelievable.

dune messiah: 7.5/10, i’m about a week late writing this one oops. i think that the preface of this book did it dirty!! i was expecting a total slog based off of it, but this book was actually very enjoyable and profound?? i love a lil surveillance intrigue. also the determinism of paul, his certainty in himself being his undoing? the twist at the end? the image of paul walking off into the desert, blind? i don’t have any particular complaints, the story was well-crafted. i guess just frank herbert’s habit of throw-in-a-sci-fi-word bugs me. still, not the most amazing book i’ve ever read. i can’t pin anything, but did feel there was something lacking which is why it’s a 7.5. perhaps that’s what the preface was alluding towards?

sunrise on the reaping: 6/10, a good story but really felt like tragedy porn. like you knew exactly what was coming and it was still sad but i was mostly just relieved to know how it ended up happening.

unfollowed someone for announcing "we will be pirating!" regarding the new harry potter hbo show, because no we won't be. even if you don't support that hag financially, i can't have a harry potter fan in my circles. fucks up my chakras.

#lmao true #a sign of bad taste and immaturity

killy-deactivated20241228

i’ve decided to keep track of all the books i read in 2026 and how i feel abt them so here it goes:

three body problem: 8.5/10, really liked the mystery set up and the beginning and the overall narrative structure. at times, felt i was missing out by not knowing much about the cultural revolution. i resolved to learn more about chinese history and checked out some books to read later. original sci-fi thoughts- the description of the creation of the sophons was one of my favorite parts. also enjoyed the world-building through vr. surprised and thrilled me. sometimes a bit slow.

the dark forest: 9.9/10, holy shit what a banger. liu cixin can not only write brilliant, grounded science fiction, but also stunned me with his sociology/anthropological philosophy of the universe. every part of this book was amazing. after finishing the series, the opening scene describing the ant on a tombstone is one of my favorite parts of the work as a whole. liu has a way of catching you into the mindset of the world, which makes his subversion of those expectations even more impactful.

death’s end: 9.7/10. i did not like the opening of this book at all, even when i went back to reread it after finishing the book. it felt too fantastical and incongruous with the rest of the story, even though it was clear what actually was happening by the midway point or so of the book. just a bit distracting. i also thought the “paintings” were a bit too obvious for me to believe that nobody ever made the connection. however. every other part of the book was amazing. of course, it was also soul crushing. the ending is optimistic, somewhat, but still left me uncomfortable and with a sense of mourning. i would call this series a tragic epic. the ending of the love story was not surprising (probably especially to audiences who were more familiar with the cultural references) but i still hoped i was wrong. to get so, painfully close… again, liu makes you believe what his characters believe, which makes it all the more crushing when they are wrong. i loved this book and series overall, but it left me unrelieved. i suppose that speaks to my confidence in altruism at this time.

i who have never known men: 9/10. i chose this book not knowing it was sci-fi and wanting something more grounded after finishing the three body problem. i was very wrong. however, this book was still a perfect next read. i was shocked by how similar the concepts were in these two books. harpman is a brilliant writer and the unnamed narrator was a well-rounded, complex character, a product of her environment, but with a shining humanity that she is unable to recognize. i could feel the horror upon their first discovery while traveling, the dread and the greater realization. i was exhausted by the events of the story, but never bored. instead, by the end, hopes completely crushed again and again, i too felt an acceptance for the inevitable, while also grieving the regrets and missed chances and questions that would be forever unanswered. while gender/sex/capitalism are all obvious themes in the book, i feel that they were secondary to overall themes of community. she lived in bondage and remained unbound to others. initially, she was never and always alone and then just. always alone. a sort of cosmic horror and tragedy. could benefit from many a reread, but i don’t know that i could ever open this book again.

the book of doors (audiobook, dnf): 4/10. this isn’t a book i would necessarily pick out for myself, but an acquaintance i’d like to get closer with recommended it, so i gave it a shot. overall, i will tell her positive things, because there are some positive things and she liked it a lot. however, this book was booooring. i usually listen to books at 1.5x speed, then 1.25x if im really enjoying them. i ended up listening to most of this at 2x speed.

it started off strong- fun bookish heroine you can easily project yourself onto and a great hook for an adventure! but, the author really has a habit of telling not showing, and then telling you again. characters were introduced, elaborated upon, and then unceremoniously tossed away. the male protagonist confused me- i pictured an older man, maybe like 45, since he, you know, had friends with advanced degrees and an estate then spent ten years in hiding following this. also, given his name of “fox,” i did go straight for david duchovny. so the romantic overture with the seemingly early 20s protagonist threw me for a loop even tho he was canonically hot. also. why does like every male romantic lead have a sweet tooth. grow up. the villainess was so unbelievably flat, without any real sense of motivation or character beyond “oo she evil.” and our protagonist started as a flat, reflective mirror to enable a lil harmless self-insert fun, but as we got to her “depth,” many of the details didn’t add up and her single-minded, pure-hearted motivation of “love my dead grandpa” was eye rolling at points. let me have this incredibly dangerous magical book… because my dead grandpa never got to travel. and we’re supposed to take this seriously? bitch you already backpacked over europe u know how to buy a plane ticket!

in summation- the author had a knack for expanding the boring parts of the story and squandering every world and character building opportunity. this book could have been both half as long and a trilogy. i will probably finish it when my libby hold hits, but out of a sense of obligation to a friend rather than any real interest.

algospeak (dnf): 2/10. worse filterworld. talks in circles. opens by explaining the metaphor “whack-a-mole” as if they are the first person who had ever said it.

the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes: 8/10, surprisingly well done. suzanne collins can WRITE. this book is a character study and a well-done one at that. snow’s descent into moral vacancy is believable, yet even knowing where snow ends up, you still root for him. great callbacks (foreshadowing?) of the original trilogy while still having merit as a standalone. there are some characters who verge on caricatures, but dont (imo) cross the line and become unbelievable. in the setting of panem, i actually believe a dr. gaul would exist. really enjoyed this book, fun and engaging and just the right amount of silly nonsense to be entertaining without being unbelievable.

dune messiah: 7.5/10, i’m about a week late writing this one oops. i think that the preface of this book did it dirty!! i was expecting a total slog based off of it, but this book was actually very enjoyable and profound?? i love a lil surveillance intrigue. also the determinism of paul, his certainty in himself being his undoing? the twist at the end? the image of paul walking off into the desert, blind? i don’t have any particular complaints, the story was well-crafted. i guess just frank herbert’s habit of throw-in-a-sci-fi-word bugs me. still, not the most amazing book i’ve ever read. i can’t pin anything, but did feel there was something lacking which is why it’s a 7.5. perhaps that’s what the preface was alluding towards?

#personal #books 2026

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