Shit My Kid Says

Weird things said by my kid, because she's a goofball.

[frogmp3]

[exspiravits-blog]

here lies atreus! hann was a little too lazy

[borderlinehannibal]

Here lies hannibal. Hy was the last night.

[rimurutempest-bounced]

Here lies Zephyr. He was so sorry.

[calamitydragon]

Here lies Allan. He was gonna get home safe.

[asmodeanmelancholia]

here lies panda. he was the only one.

[kendra-nullings]

Here lies Kendra. They were going to be a little late

[mackiecos]

Here lies Mackie Noel, she was a member

[hotcocoandmarshmallows]

Here lies Jack. He was a little bit of a late start today.

[nettlewildfairy]

Here lies Esme. They were in a great way home for a while.

[totallyinept]

Here lie Ella. She said the government would.

[weirdshitmykidsays]

Here lies Jade. She is a very good friend.

[idk-wtf-is-happening]

My 5yo

5yo: Im so hungry

M: you've had breakfast, you can't wait a little while.

5yo: *lies on the floor and pretends to be dead*

M: oh no I'll just have to make Pizza myself

She was suddenly not dead anymore

[weirdshitmykidsays]

4 Year Old.

4YO- *just finished cerial* I'm so hungry

M- you just had a big bowl of cerial

4YO- *lead on floor rolling* I'm huuungry

M-do you want toast?

4YO- no juice.

[weirdshitmykidsays]

My Four Year Old-

4yo- It's christmas

M- It is christmas

4yo- No Christmas, just Halloween

M- Me too kid, me too

[weirdshitmykidsays]

My Four Year Old-

*Giving me thumbs down and a frowny face for not being Daddy* M- Love you Kiddo 4YO-Love you to Neptune *Gives me another thumbs down and a frown for still not being Daddy* 

[weirdshitmykidsays]

My Four Year Old

* Sees me pick her up from school, gives me a frowny face and and thumbs down through the glass because I’m not Daddy* 4YO- No, not Mummy M- Did you have a good day? 4YO- I ate all my lunch M- Thats good, what else did you do? 4YO- I did a poo. M- Really? Thats good to know

[weirdshitmykidsays]

My Four Year Old

4 YO- Let's go to the Smoothie

M- we're going to the movies baby, not smoothie

4YO- yeah mummy, a smoothie.

M-okay baby, let's go see a smoothie with daddy

[weirdshitmykidsays]

My Four Year Old-

4 YO- ‘It.Whats that’ M-‘It has. H-a-s. Haaas’ 4 YO- ‘It haas’ M-‘No, its not haaas, its just has’ 4 YO -*giggling* ‘Haaaaaaaaaaaas’  M-‘No just has’  4 YO-‘HAAAAAAAAS’ M- ‘okay whats the next word’ *continues for the rest of the book*

[orcacare]

indeed it is, what say?

[weirdshitmykidsays]

My Four Year Old- Space

4 YO-‘Lets build a rocket’ M- ‘Okay Baby’ 4 YO- ‘Four rockets’ M- ‘FOUR ROCKETS? Where do you want to go?’ 4 YO- ‘Penus’ M- ‘Sorry?’ 4 YO- ‘I’m going to go to Penus’ M- ‘Do you mean Venus?’ 4 YO- ‘Yeah, Penus’

[weirdshitmykidsays]

My Four Year Old-

Today i was had by my daughter. She found this really ugly Halloween plate, that she wanted. I told her that if she wanted it she had to buy it (it was 20p). Now i never tell her things like this, but i really didn’t want this plate in my kitchen. My four year old then sticks her hand in her coat pocket, pulls out coins and hands it to me. It was all the 2ps and 5ps that she had found/had given to her after shopping. She then walked away with this ugly plate, knowing full well i had to stick to what i said because she had technically paid for it. 

I cant believe I was had by a four year old.

[weirdshitmykidsays]

My Four Year Old-

‘Mummy, Caterpillars eat Chickens’ ‘Really?’ ‘Yeah, really big chickens’