Tussle part 07
BETRAYAL.Such a heavy word. Sometimes I wonder was it really that easy for you to pretend you didn’t love me, or was it just easier for you to let go? I’m carrying a lot as I write this, because I recently experienced the biggest betrayal of my life from the person I trusted the most, and all I feel is numb. People around me know what happened they try to comfort me, telling me to move on, to forget it, to accept that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be but it isn't turning out that way. Did I lose my sense of worth loving him? Yes, I did, over and over again. I kept choosing him even when I wasn’t choosing myself, ignoring my own feelings until now it feels like a constant slap in the face, forcing me to wake up and see the truth. And honestly, it makes me feel stupid, because even now, if someone asked me whether I’d go back to him after everything, my answer might still be yes even if it happened again and again. Maybe I made mistakes too, maybe more than I should have, but does that make someone so unlovable that they’re easy to let go of? I don’t know. All I know is that I feel everything at once hurt, broken, shattered but somewhere inside me, there’s still a part that wants to rebuild, to become strong again, and I truly hope that the next time I write, I’ll be standing on my own confident, healed, and whole. Until then… wish me luck.
