Hold on Tight Spider Monkey

Welcome to the shit show where we explore the depths of the twilight world 

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twilight but edward is played by joe exotic and the rest of the cullens are tigers

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and the three head volturi are carole baskin, her current husband, and her "missing" husband

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twilight but edward is played by joe exotic and the rest of the cullens are tigers

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Poor innocent 14-year-old baby seth clearwater listening to edward and jacob fight over pussy from outside that tent in eclipse

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god i love twilight 

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Edward has the ability to empty his bowels of the ginormous shit he holds in constantly but chooses not to 

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That child is sexy

Jacob Black, 2008 

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Unstoppable Force vs. Immoveable Object

Since vampires are so fast and strong (Meyers, 2005) we can assume that when edward nuts his jizz is not only rock hard, but moving at super speed so how did his bullet sperms not obliterate bellas egg? Well its also been established that Bella has her shield powers as a human (ex. edward is not able to read her mind) (Meyer, 2008) so we can safely assume that her eggs are similarly protected from vampire bullshit (which in this case is edwards super sonic swimmers) from this we get that the result is a creepy cgi baby in this twi talk I will...

References

Meyer, S. (2005). Twilight. New York, NY: Hatchet Book Group USA. Print. 

Meyer, S. (2008). Breaking Dawn. New York, NY: Hatchet Book Group USA. Print.