Romper room fuckery

Stop bragging about how you'd rather stay inside reading a book than go out drinking. It's not a binary. Some of us like getting trashed at home, thanks very much.

[well-done-padawan]

My brain: Maybe you keep losing friends because you're a petty bitch who passive aggressively cuts off contact after any perceived slight, which usually only occurred in your own head.

Me:

Me: so my spiteful and unhealthy behaviors have consequences?? Next you're going to tell me I gained weight because I started eating more and stopped exercising.

[brutereason]

Activism, which includes everything from writing online to running for office, is not just a matter of substance. It’s also an overt attempt to claim power and influence in the public sphere. As such, the threats and emotional abuse aimed at women who express opinions in public work on two levels. First, they’re an attempt to destabilize and silence women by making silence feel safer than talking. Second, such threats are also an attempt to re-direct conversations away from the issues that women were trying to discuss in the first place. If you drown out every Facebook post about wage inequality in venom, threats, and intentionally shocking images of women being beaten, sooner or later, people are going to be talking about the abuse instead of unequal pay. Abuse isn’t just wrong, it’s Derailing 101: If you can’t prove someone wrong on the points they’re discussing, you can throw a fit that prevents anyone from discussing that topic. When women who are working for change have to devote a large portion of their time to dealing with, fending off, or discussing harassment, they have precious little time or energy left over to devote to the other problems they want to fix. Their harassers seem to know all this—to be counting on it, in fact. And that shows how much further we still have to go.

What online misogynists really want is silence — Quartz (via brutereason)

[well-done-padawan]

If you thought your terrible procrastination habits, social isolation, sudden loss of friends due to your personality flaws, and dumb social shit causing crippling anxiety would end after high school, you're going to have a good time hating yourself even more in college

[well-done-padawan]

"I'm sorry we never hang out anymore, my schedule is so crazy [even though we both know I hang out all the time with our mutual friends and I'm on social media all the time talking about how bored I am]"

[well-done-padawan]

The eye doctor: Have you done anything for your eye?

Me: I mean, I used dry eye drops and it stopped hurting

Eye doctor: It's probably just dry eye.

Me:

Me: Okay but can you check for this really rare form of glaucoma that I read about on WebMD on the way here?

[lilmissmarshmallow-blog]

[well-done-padawan]

“If/when I’m dying, which will probably be very soon, I want to travel the world with you <3 also I think a brain tumor is pressing on my eye, but the eye doctor won’t see me” - love as someone with health anxiety

[well-done-padawan]

One last thing: I hate how so much of the public perception and labelling of LGB women (and also obviously trans women, but that is a whole other, huge issue that someone with more experience than me should cover) comes from straight people and men. Straight people identify and label certain women “power lesbians,” although obviously some lesbians may self-identify with that term and find power in it, but it’s mainly straight people using it, ie Jennifer Lawrence. If you google “power lesbian,” 95% of the results are a straight (maybe Jennifer is closeted bi, but she’s definitely not a lesbian) woman calling HERSELF that, and there’s very little of lesbians discussing a term that fucking refers to THEM. 

Or the idea of of “bicurious” college girls making out for fun. I’ve rarely heard a woman who hooks up with other women call herself “bicurious” (usually it’s either pan, bi, or “no label”): a lot of people do self-identify with it, obviously, but the vast majority of the time people talk about this label and behavior, it’s straight people talking derisively about young bisexual women and characterizing our motives and behaviors without our input. It implies that if you’re a sexually fluid young woman, you’re either not serious about your attraction to women (which is fucked because your attraction is still valid even if you don’t intend to marry a woman), you’re doing it for attention, or this is temporary until you become a “real” adult and get in a serious relationship with a man. Other queer women are also guilty of mischaracterizing bi women who just “hook up” in this way, but the main perpetrators are straight people looking at a surface phenomenon (or even fictional tv shows) and labeling bi women, instead of letting us define ourselves. Tons of LGB men only “hook up” with other men, but their sexuality isn’t dismissed; not because LGB men have power over LGB women, but because in our fucked patriarchal society, (sexual) attraction to men is ALWAYS taken more seriously than attraction to women.

The combination of being queer and female means you’re permanently marginalized and treated as the other. Until recently, lesbians (let alone bi women) were only allowed the most marginal roles in tv shows or major movies, and even then they were usually treated as a joke or a titillation/irritation for male characters (ie Ross’s ex-wife on Friends and the other sparse queer female characters on that show). Lesbians only existed to give background color to the cosmopolitan lives of straight characters, and if bi women showed up at all, they were erased, stereotyped, or portrayed as villains/nymphos. Even now, only a few niche shows and films have queer women WRITTEN by queer women, and the struggle to define ourselves in the public eye continues. So anyway, straight people please stop defining us based on your surface observations, because you can’t seem to reisist minimizing our identities, mocking us, ignoring us, or fetishizing us.

[well-done-padawan]

Idk, maybe lesbians and queer women are just human beings and they’re all different and some of them want to be high-powered businesspeople, some of them want to be teachers, and some run off and join hippie communes, and none of those choices have anything to do with being attracted to/loving other women??

[well-done-padawan]

I was just thinking about how the concept of “power lesbians” is kind of messed? I might be misunderstanding the context surrounding this term, but it seems to imply that lesbians are expected to be in a lower socioeconomic status than straight people (which unforunately is largely true, statistically) and not to have conventionally “high-powered” careers or to be socially connected. So when a woman who has relationships with other women and is not married to/dating men has a powerful career and associates with high-power/wealthy people, it’s so unusual that she requires a special label as opposed to just “powerful woman/person.” It carries this implication that women are normally only powerful by being proximate to men, and also that lesbians don’t have strong ties to men (which is clearly untrue, because lesbians can have strong familial/business/friendship ties to men) or reject men completely, and therefore only the most ruthless or cunning can gain a semblance of the power wealthy straight men and/or the wives of powerful men have. I mean, maybe people just can’t handle that a woman could prefer not to date men, but she’s still socially capable enough to become a successful businessperson/professional/entertainer and isn’t a total pariah or social deviant???

[well-done-padawan]

I only use tumblr when I need to vomit a lot of feelings and insecurity and maybe repressed sexual issues that aren’t appropriate for facebook

[kropotkindersurprise]

April 8 2016 - Elections in Peru. [video]

[well-done-padawan]

When you thought you had to do a hair test for your job, but it turns out it's just a cheek swab

[well-done-padawan]

Current mood: feeling bad for the cop who finds my partially-devoured-by-cats body weeks after I died in a studio apartment due a fall because I didn’t have any friends to report me missing 

[well-done-padawan]

Tbh most of the white SJW’s on here ready to jump down people’s throats for being problematic have tons of shit in their histories that, if it were publicized on tumblr/twitter/Jezebel/proglib Reddit like a lot of problematic internet randoms have been, would result in them being crucified by the communities they’re ostensibly supporting. But of course, any of them who realize this won’t see it as an opportunity to step back and reflect on their willingness to engage in mob harassment, but they’ll probably just write some long weepy essay flagellating themselves over their past crimes against social justice, but also constantly reminding everyone that they don’t do that anymore, so they’re okay attacking the people who still do.

[well-done-padawan]

White people wearing dreads isn’t a good look, but neither is trying to force people to do their hair a certain way.

I’ve seen well-written, nuanced posts on here about troubling implications of white people having dreads, that actually explain WHY it bothers a lot of people, and I agree with most of the points that have been made. I support advising your white friend who’s thinking about getting dreads not to do it. But all of this just makes it more frustrating when people on this site (or on college campuses or wherever) boil a complex situation with a lot of history and arguments on both sides down to “Any non-black person who has dreads is a bad person.” No explanation, no willingness to let other people do their weird thing even if you don’t like it, just this attitude of “I’m right, I don’t have to explain myself, and you’re a bad person for disagreeing, so therefore I don’t owe you common courtesy.” Again, I don’t like dreads on white people, but frankly it’s none of my business if someone wants to do their hair like that, and neither I nor anyone else has any authority to make them stop. We can talk about it as a trend, as a cultural issue without demonizing or controlling individuals.

[zanabism-deactivated20200529]

53 mostly women + children killed in suicide bombing in Lahore, Pakistan

A suicide bomber detonated a device in a crowded park in Lahore, Pakistan as families were leaving the parking lot. The park was crowded as many Christian Pakistanis were commemorating Easter in the area. 150+ people have been wounded thus far and 53 mostly children and women were killed in the attack. 

Responsibility for the attack has not yet been taken. [x]