A Letter To My 13-Year Old Self
Thank you! I love you! Stay Strong! - I've always wanted to say that to you because I know later in life, you would want to hear them as often as you can. You are indeed very special and it is such a shame that it took a very long time for you to realize that. I remember how much you hated yourself for the things that are beyond your control. You used to think you were abnormal, a defect. Don't blame yourself because you really did your best. I wish I could be there for you, and perhaps give you a nice warm hug. I know how much you needed that. Next time when you look in the mirror, I want you to try and smile. You were always cheerful up until you grew older. When you reach 16, you have totally lost your self-esteem. So brace yourself.
I know how much you long for your father and half-brothers, but I will tell you now, you're better off knowing the truth. You may not like what I'm about to say but your father will never find you. He has passed away a long time ago. Perhaps if you knew this earlier, it would be easier to accept. Also, your half-brothers have their own lives and could not be bothered. You will, however, do your best to send letters to them all, hoping you will find answers. You have done well in that aspect. I urge you not to let bad news get you down.
You have an amazing mother, and a beautiful family. I know that you wanted to take yourself out of the family picture because it seemed a little off when you're in it. I will tell you now, that you belong perfectly to where you are. You may not always be in good terms with your stepfather but I want you to consider that he, too, has his problems. He has struggled to take care of the family while your mom is working. It is very hard for him sometimes but you probably know that already.
Don't be jealous with your younger siblings. Remember that you are the eldest, so it is best that you understand that their needs are greater than your own. Don't feel alienated- now I know that this is hard for you to do because ...well...I am you. You always isolate yourself, which is not very helpful. You look different, you carry a different last name, and you always wished you looked like everyone else. But the truth is, you wouldn't be as awesome if you were ordinary.
You will meet a lot of people. Some will be your dear friends, some will hurt you. But I want you to continue to trust people and believe that there's something good in everyone. More importantly, learn to trust yourself.
I will tell you a secret! Later in the future, you will have some of the most amazing experiences of your life! You will meet great friends! You will learn how to play the violin (just keep practicing)! You will travel the beautiful places of the Philippines! You will become a great cosplayer! You will fall in love (and be hurt but that doesn't matter)! You will finish your studies! SPOLIER ALERT: You will become a teacher! Now, I know this is very hard for you to believe but being a teacher isn't all that bad. You will love your profession, your co-teachers, everyone and everything in your future school! Now try to be really really really REALLY patient. I know well enough that you have quite a temper! :)
I want you to trust yourself more than anyone else. If you don't believe yourself, what good is it to be you? You may lose your faith in A LOT of things. You will become overly skeptical. There will be a time in your life that there will be dark clouds hanging over your head. It is in these times that I wish I could hold your hand and guide you to where you should be. I never want you to feel that you are alone. It is a miserable feeling. Sometimes, even with people, you shut yourself from the world around you. I wish I could help you open up.
You will eventually learn about love. Its different forms and complexities, the joy and the pain, its ups and downs. But I want you to appreciate what you have right NOW, more than anything in this world. Don't stop dreaming but at the same time, live your dreams.
You are not a freak, a creep, or a weirdo. Or maybe you are. But you are someone I am very proud of. Be thankful for EVERYTHING. The good and the bad have lessons for you to learn. If you do make a mistake, forgive yourself. You are not perfect and you shouldn't try to be. And try to forgive those who will hurt you, okay?
Sad as it may seem, EVERYTHING is temporary, even you! Time can be the greatest gift, and yet can be the greatest misfortune if you waste it. If everything else fails, LOVE. You hear me? It will be the only thing that will heal your heart. Love like your life depends on it. Love like today will be your last.
stormborns
andulkaphoto
tangentwithtanner
janainaart
yousharknotpass
dededos
