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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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Show & Tell
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@westportherald
Who's wifey material??? Husband material?
If we’re talking about my tastes, I’d say Isabelle Flores would be my first pick to run down the aisle. She’s got a solid job, great hair and enough baggage to make my own look like a weekend-trip duffle. As for husband material, Matthew’s one of my top picks. Sad eyes, great curly hair and he conveniently doesn’t remember his ex. Could it get any better?
@isablleflores @mtthwbyrne
any thoughts on the newbies so far?
That Renata chick seems to be very into asking questions, Lyle’s always been a bad apple and all I’ve seen of Marisol so far has been her literally running out, stage left. I guess I’m just waiting it out to see if y’all do something truly outrageous.
@renata-ortiz @espinosamarisol @lylebancroft
the office cast into westport residents, go.
If you’re anything like me, you were far more into Arrested Development than the Office growing up. From what I’ve heard though, I’d say Viola Madison is definitely Pam, Connor King is Stanley Hudson and for Michael Scott? None other than our famous absentee father, Anthony Callahan.
@violamadison @connorxking
can someone explain to me what's going on between lance and katrina?
“Looks like Lancelot is ready to grow up and Katrina wants to stay living in Neverland. Any bets on if they’ll manage to stay together after this?”
@lancesutherland @katrinaunger
Who should we look for at the festival this weekend? Who do you think is going to be in some nasty shit?
“Probably Olivia? She’s a trainwreck always happening. Not really a fan of the use of nasty in this scenario, though. I want to see Shay get down and dirty with someone that’s not Ryker, because let’s be honest, Ryker would deserve that.”
@olivialocke @shaycampbell @rykerdawscn
what if westport had their own community burn book?
I’m sure that would go over well in a town that’s just had a murder and has had dead bodies found in the gardens. Maybe you should bring it up at the next town hall meeting, Regina George.
i just want to give maia a big hug.
“Why are we hugging her this time? Either way, I’m fine with it. Poor girl has a memory wiped husband and a sister in a coma. What’s next? She might break a nail.”
@themaiaprescott
what is a famous italian rapper doing in a small ass town like westport?
“Really? Who cares. Have you seen his face? I bet his ass is just as nice. I don’t care what Carson did to bring him here, but I’m glad she did it.”
@rovazzani @carsonbaldwin
got anything exciting ??
Yesterday, I saw a dog leading another dog down the street on a leash and that’s still more exciting than anything that Westport’s been up to. I’m about to type up a think piece on canine psychology, when really I’d rather hear about what (or who) you’ve all been doing.
So who's watching Kenneth now that his momma in a coma?
From what I’ve heard, there isn’t the most stunning network of child carers in Westport. If I was Asher, I’d hope that it was her very capable doctor brother taking on the task. Maybe he can consider it a great trial run for the baby that he and his rockstar boyfriend want to adopt. Remember Milo, if you break it, there’s more problems to face than just buying it.
ANON HONESTY DAY.
➣ Reblog to indicate that you’re open to being asked and asking Westport’s burning questions.
Y'all have been too quiet. Give us some dirt!
You understand gossip is a two way street, right? We can’t exactly state our opinion or give hilarious commentary when nothings been brought to us to have opinions of or comment on. This is a symbiotic relationship, if we’re too quiet it’s because you’re too quiet. Start talking people, we’d rather be doing this than proofreading boring articles anyway.
As for dirt, Charles’s hair has been higher than Kaiden’s lately. He’s now the alpha Hawthorne brother cause you know what they say about guys with big hair.
@charleshawthorne & @kaidenhwthrne
Who is that one shady bitch no is one is paying attention to and needs to? Who would you trust with your life? Who would you least trust? Who most likely to get knocked up next? Or next in line to be a baby daddy? Who's the classiest? Trashiest? Who would you like to see behind bars? not because they did anything but just because they would look nice behind some bars.
Shady, I’m not too sure about yet, but Sullivan sure as hell needs someone to pay her some attention, the girl has a lot to say about the right people, did nobody catch the right hook that bitch threw at Sherie? She’ll be feeling that one long after the gardens start growing back. Trusting any of you with my life sounds like a one way ticket to a freshly dug grave, but with a police department like this, it’s clearly an irrational fear. Then again, I could get on board with trusting Corey with my life, the abs might simultaneously kill me, but at least I’d die happily. I’d trust David least, that guys as flaky as the dandruff he claims is highlights. If you’re about to tell me that any of you are actually using protection and wouldn’t be the next candidate for our growing list of surprise bitch i’m preggers, i’m shocked honestly; Rosie, you’re the mother congratu-fuckin-lations, and just to tack insult to injury, Raleigh will without a doubt be the baby daddy, when was the last time that guy played adult? Can I get a hell yes for too good for this world Lila for classiest bitch around, and we all know the trash around here doesn’t get any filthier than Ryker and I’m not even sure there’s anyone to defend him on it anymore. Last but definitely not least, the grand finale; candidates for next inmate of the year, Libby or Shay, innocence only lasts so long around here, right?
@sullivanabernathy; @coreyxellis; @d-avidcorvin @rosiemoretti; @raleighxmonroe; @lilacallahan; @rykerdawscn; @libbyhawthorne; @shaycampbell
WP Yearbook Superlatives: Most likely to succeed? Class clown? Best Smile? Most changed? Biggest drama king/queen? Most accident-prone? Most likely to break a world record? Most likely to dance in a Beyoncé music video? Most likely to be on Catfish? Most likely to win a Nobel Prize?
Most likely to succeed: I was going to say Danneel Pryce, but she’s already successful. Except maybe her marriage. So, right now, I’m rooting for Sullivan Abernathy. Class clown: Unpopular opinion, but I think Riley Henderson is fucking hilarious. Everyone probably thought that he was joking all the time, when in reality, he was just being a dick. Best smile: Amber freaking Abernathy. That is all. Most changed: McKenna Torres, just because what she’s been through. I just want to give her a hug. Biggest drama king/queen: Milo Callum, without a doubt. Did anyone see him overreacting at the Gala? Most accident prone: Rosie Moretti. Someone help the poor girl out, she’s like a walking hazard sign. Most likely to break a world record: Probably Heidi Bergen. Most likely to dance in a Beyonce music video: Shiloh Park. She is a dancer, isn’t she? Most likely to be on Catfish: Alexis Hawthorne. Bitch was living a straight quadruple life. Most likely to win a Nobel Prize: Finn Prescott. I think he’s the only normal one out of all you hooligans.
@danneelpryce, @sullivanabernathy, @rileyxhenderson, @amber-abernathy, @mckennxtcrres, @milocxllum, @rosiemoretti, @heidibergen, @shilohpark, @finnsta.
THE WESTPORT HERALD: REPUTED GANG LEADER ARRESTED FOR ARSON OF WESTPORT BOTANICAL GARDENS, VICTIM IDENTIFIED, JAVIER DELGADO & FAMILY SETTLE INTO TOWN.
A reputed gang leader has been charged for his alleged role in the destruction of Westport Botanical Gardens late last week. ALEJANDRO DE’MARTEL, 50, was charged Saturday night with SUSPICION OF ARSON, DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY, and MASS ATTEMPTED MURDER, police spokesman Michael Smith said. Sources familiar with the investigation said De’Martel was the alleged mastermind behind the fire set during the Tenth Annual Charity Gala, ordering an inferior member of his organization to start said fire at the very packed town event.
The human remains found in the aftermath of the fire have been identified as twenty-six year old ETHAN KIM. A native of Sandy Springs, Georgia who was DECLARED MISSING JUNE 2017. The Westport Police Department have reached out to the victims next of kin and refuse to release Kim’s cause of death until his family have been contacted and informed of their loss.
Among all the investigation into the body and the fire, Javier Delgado, OWNER OF WESTPORT BOTANICAL GARDENS, his wife Anastasia Delgado-Hawthorne and their children have relocated from their home in Southern California to Westport in order to oversee the reconstruction of what once was a staple of the Westport community.
Think any of our police officers will actually crack the case?
Westport PD? Please, the worst case these guys have ever had to handle is Mrs. Gurdy’s missing cat Munchkin. They’re out of their league. Great job arresting the Moretti sisters for tampering with evidence, Vinny, but letting them out after less than a week? It’s so nice knowing we may have co-conspirators and murderers walking around the streets.
@vinny-balasko, @rosiemoretti, @islaxmoretti
who are you expecting to hookup?
Who isn’t bound to hook-up is such a small town? Maybe Danika and Hugh will take a trip back memory lane; rekindle that awkward high school flame. I can taste the tension between Kieran and Lennox. Art is great, my dude but I’m reading a little bit more into those early morning wake up calls to decorate. And does anyone else like a good hate-fuck? Erika seems a little rough around the edges after a bump in with Angelo, but I’m sure it’s nothing he can’t handle.
@danikamaharaj, @hughmalloy, @kieranhale, @lenncxaber, @erikabergen, & @angelomrtti