* ❛ headcanon: elphaba’s relationship with frex
Also known as her relationship with her sense of self worth, or lack thereof.
There are a lot of differences between Elphaba’s relationship with her father, Frex (notably he is not her biological father, but Elphaba doesn’t know this and neither does he) in the novel vs. in the musical. The novel sets their relationship as tragic and difficult, but with a sense of unrequited love (on Elphaba’s side), while the musical is more outright in its assumption that EIphaba has been neglected and possibly abused by an angry Frex. I am portraying the dynamic with a mix of both, but more canon to the novel, as I think it’s more nuanced.
Elphaba’s father was a minister of Unionism (basically Oz’s equivalent to Catholicism) and as a parent, he is also what I would pin as a covert narcissist. Elphaba’s entire existence, in his eyes, was about him: his own failures, what she could do for his cause, etc. She was green according to him because of a curse; because he had failed to protect his parishioners on the day of her birth, and he does not shy away from telling her this. He also claims, repeatedly, that Elphaba was a terror as a child, and only calmed down and became “more human” once Nessarose was born: thus, Elphaba apparently has her sister to thank for all of her “goodness.” (This is quite untrue, as Elphaba was a very quiet, observant, and calm baby, even before Nessarose is born)
From the very beginning Elphaba was viewed as a mark of Frex’s own failure, with Nessarose being the golden cure, the treasure, the pet. Frex projected all of his own shortcomings onto Elphaba, and she was never treated as anything but an extension of that. He also used Elphaba constantly in his sermons and conversion missions; she was a tool to convert others to his cause. He would have her sing solemn hymns, lead in prayer, and show his converts that, if the Unnamed God can love someone like HIS cursed child, he can love and accept anyone.
Elphaba was always treated as a child worth less than any other human; a child not of her own being, but of Frex’s will.
At the same time, confusingly for Elphaba, Frex did not go without his show of affection from time to time. They would get into fights often, as Elphaba was a headstrong individualist despite this treatment -- even rebelliously so, as she grew older. But Elphaba also always loved her father, despite being incredibly angry and frustrated with him, and she wanted, more than anything, to help him, to appease his sadness, to be the child he needed.
It is a dyanmic she never truly understands, and never recovers from the trauma of.
Elphaba’s relationship with her father paves the way for her behavior in life. She pours her entire being into her cause, her anarchy, her fight for the Animals, and everything else, her identity, her health, her mental wellbeing, her relationships with others . . . it’s all not even considered as holding any sort of importance; everything else is a sidenote. Elphaba truly has no sense of self identity, besides guilt, and the guilt she projects onto everyone into her life -- a mark of her traumatic childhood as a symbol of failure -- as everything that goes wrong for Frex being her fault.
Were Elphaba to have had a healthy relationship with her father, and been brought up with love and encouragement, rather than blame, she would not have carried the burden of guilt for her entire life so heavily. She wouldn’t have projected this onto Fiyero and his family after his death, onto Nessarose, onto her own family, quite so strongly. She probably would have been able to have had an actual relationship with Glinda, should Glinda have been willing. She would have been able to have healthy relationships with others, and had more of a sense of self. In short, she wouldn’t have been driven mad toward the end of her life, with guilt, projection, and resentment.
