Lost in the Winter

I don't see the point of writing anything here. But call me Bucky and I'll shoot you. [Independent blog. Also side-blog, if ataserandlargesweaters follows you, it's me. femBucky at the url thewinterjayme. Movie-Bucky with some comic-Bucky: after the fall he has been brainwashed by the Russians and given fake memories, until he almost escaped from them. Since then, when he wasn't needed, he was put in a cryogenic chamber again. Once out of it, he would have new memories, which is why at the moment he doesn't trust what he sees because he might be hallucinating or sleeping. He doesn't know Steve is alive. He won't be very nice to anyone at first - but he won't hit women no matter what he says - and there will be many verses with different Steves and different relationships. NO SMUT]

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

He smiled softly at the hand on his cheek, leaning into it. He couldn’t help it, every little form of affection found him eager for more, missing the human contact the most during those years. He had always been someone ready to hug and touch and the Winter Soldier was the exact contrary, only touching to kill, unless it was Natalie, and that person wasn’t him anyway, he hadn’t felt anything, just the memory of it before he was in the cryogenic chamber again. “Mh-mh,” he nodded to answer her, coming to his sense only when she moved her hand away. “Okay. That will work,” he agreed easily, his mood suddenly less dark, and placed a kiss on her forehead. “You haven’t really changed.” 

[americasavenger-archive-blog]

Stephanie couldn’t help but continue to allow her smile to grow, his mood had clearly begun to lighten. She closed her eyes momentarily once he kissed her forehead, glad to have him acting like he used to. Stephanie had truly missed him more than she had missed anyone else. He was a big part of her life, he always had been. “Good” she responded, wanting to help in any way she possibly could and his agreeing would make that easier. “I tried not to..” she admitted with a slight sigh, that was one thing she liked to take pride in. That she was able to stay true to herself and act the same way she did seventy years ago. No matter how many things this ‘new’ world would throw at her, she did her best not to change her. She had promises to keep.

[ask-the-assistant-darcy]

   She smiled up at him and nodded. “Why yes, I am thank you for noticing~” She whimpered when he brushed his lips over hers but didn’t let her deepen the kiss. Licking at her lips as he pulled away. “Hmm, well now I’ll have to see what commands you like best. And I think we both know there would be plenty of fun in that. But I like you not under my thumb, makes you very irresistible.” She grinned at him, “Whatever you say James. And you’re the only soldier at my mercy, for I’m at yours as well.”

She heaved a breathless sigh as he answered her, feeling his warm breath coast over her neck. Her body melting into his, his sharp edges meshing well with her soft ones. “Good to know. Good to know…” Oh lordy, if this was him being good, what would he be like when he was naughty…with her? Her muscles clenched slightly at the thoughts running through her mind. “You know, I don’t think I do.” She murmured her fingers starching up his body only to bury themselves in his hair and tug on it gently. “But maybe here isn’t the place for being naughty, or the time.” She breathed, she wanted to, oh how she wanted to. But she didn’t do that on the first day of knowing someone. She rolled them over and straddled him, “You’ll have to make due with his…for now.” She purred, placing slow soft kisses against his mouth not letting him try and deepen them. 

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

He was entranced by her lips and barely heard her, but nodded anyway. Oh yes, there was going to be a lot of fun there... but then he heard her last words and the smirk changed in a soft smile, "I don't deserve that... but I'll make a good use of it." 

He smiled when her hand went back to his hair and hummed in approval when she said that wasn't the right place. He was trying to tell himself the same. "Oh, payback?" he asked when she didn't let him kiss her properly, smiling against her lips when she kissed him again. "And as I said, I am at your command... and I will wait as long as you want," he added, cupping her face with his hands and keeping her from kissing him for a second, "But you are really not helping me here. I have a thing for being in this... position and you, sweetheart, are not being good at all." He was smiling more widely than before, thinking that if he had met her before, months before, maybe his months there would have been less miserable, even with Steve not around. She had managed to distract him from everything else and it wasn't just with the kisses, although those helped, but with her smiles and her words. He didn't remember how to communicate all that to a woman and he simply moved her forward again, "Being good again now," he warned her, so that she wouldn't have to worry about him pressuring her, and kissed her slowly, trying to tell her he was happy with the way things were. 

[americasavenger-archive-blog]

“Don’t apologize for things you had no power over Bucky…This wasn’t your fault” she shook her head slightly to enforce her words. The hollow feeling that had rested inside of her heart for so long had vanished, she hadn’t taken immediate notice to it. Though it was clear in her eyes she had more life in her eyes now than when she had believed he was dead. “You can talk to me,” she smiled softly to him, placing her hand on his cheek and brushing her thumb over his cheek. “We’ll get you back to normal in no time, I’ll be here to help along the way as well. Whenever you need me” she promised, removing her hand from his cheek and placing her hand over her heart in a sworn promise.

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

He smiled softly at the hand on his cheek, leaning into it. He couldn't help it, every little form of affection found him eager for more, missing the human contact the most during those years. He had always been someone ready to hug and touch and the Winter Soldier was the exact contrary, only touching to kill, unless it was Natalie, and that person wasn't him anyway, he hadn't felt anything, just the memory of it before he was in the cryogenic chamber again. "Mh-mh," he nodded to answer her, coming to his sense only when she moved her hand away. "Okay. That will work," he agreed easily, his mood suddenly less dark, and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You haven't really changed." 

[justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn]

Steve blushed a little. “N-no,” he admitted, looking away slightly. “I was waiting for the right dame. Took me a while that the right dame might be a fella.” His blush deepened as he raised his head to look at Bucky.

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

"No, hey, everyone should wait until he's ready," he shrugged, trying to tell him that he didn't see anything wrong in that, not sure if those were the right words. "Even between us, I mean, but in general. I never... with a man. But I also never cared this way for anyone else, dame or fella. Which is why I'm trying to go slow and understand how it all... works... before we do something major..." he was also trying not to be embarrassed, and it helped that one of the hands he had kept in his shirt was sliding down and arriving below the belt. He grinned - oh, he had missed grinning - "is it okay this slow?" he asked, and his questions was yes in general, but also pointing at his actions of the moment, stealing a kiss from him.  

[supersoldierrogers-blog]

“Hey, hey, Bucky it’s ok, calm down..” I sigh softly before wrapping an arm about your shoulders. “Lets go back to the tower, it’s where I am staying. The scientists won’t stop us, I promise. Once there, you can relax, have a good meal, shower.”

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

I nod, not so sure that people won't try to stop us, but then again you're Captain America, who would even try to stop you? "Relax..." I repeat, slightly confused at the idea. What did I do to relax, before? What consist in relaxing in this time? I shake my head. "You have a tower?"  

[supersoldierrogers-blog]

“They woke me up almost a year ago… I’ve always been here. They were testing me, checking if I was dangerous, deciding if keeping me alive or not I guess. I didn’t care, you were gone…” and if you were gone, it made no sense to live. “But now… now like hell I’m letting them experiment on me. The soviets, Hydra, they all did the same. I’m done with being a lab rat!” I growl, remembering the days before you came to save me from Red Skull, the things they did, and then all the fun that the Russians doctors had as well. No, that was the past now.

“Hey, hey, Bucky it’s ok, calm down..” I sigh softly before wrapping an arm about your shoulders. “Lets go back to the tower, it’s where I am staying. The scientists won’t stop us, I promise. Once there, you can relax, have a good meal, shower.”

[justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn]

“You jerk,” Steve replied, a breathless laugh escaping him as Bucky kissed him again. He kept a tight hold on his best friend, possibly soon to be lover, and leaned into every kiss he pressed to his lips. He loved the feeling, loved being with Bucky like this.

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

James, Bucky, laughed at his answer. It wasn’t clear why he loved the insult that much since the first time he had used it. Maybe it was because it was their thing, calling each other punk and jerk. “So this is not only today, right?” he asked, feeling as if he were drunk as he had to lean his forehead against the fridge to cool off. He felt like burning. “We should bring the food in bed then. No, that came out wrong,” he closed his eyes, shacking his head, “I meant to be comfortable and… kiss. I swear, I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want. This is new for me.” 

[justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn]

Steve smiled softly, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “We can go to bed and come back for food later,” he murmured against his lips. “It’s new for me, too, but… I want you.”

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

James closed his eyes, “Now those are not words you can say just like that, you know…” he sighed, wanting nothing more than having him in every possible way. He kissed him, pulling him forward for his shirt as he stepped back, not wanting to stop touching him even just for the time to reach his bedroom. 

[justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn]

Steve smiled softly into the kiss, holding him tight and not wanting to let him go. He pulled back for a minute to stare into his eyes. “I meant it,” he said in a low voice. “I want you, Bucky.” He kissed him again, trying to lead him back toward the bedroom.

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

James moaned in his mouth at his words and his tone, his hands wandering everywhere now before he had to pull back again, a little out of breath. "Wait... have you ever...?" 

[ask-the-assistant-darcy]

She smiled up at him when he kissed her hand and flushed a little. She would never be able to get over that. And she hoped that she never would. “Great minds think alike I suppose.”

Darcy saw the flash in his eyes when she said whatever his heart desired. Her grin became even more mischievous, her mind whirling threw what was in her closet. Oh, this was going to be too much fun. “James, I’ll have you know my surprises are always amazing.” She let her fingers travel up and down his back. “And I think I might do as I please anyway.”

She smiled at him when he repeated her and watched with darkened eyes as he licked his lips. When he started to kiss her neck she let out a breathless gasp, and tilted her head to the side as to let him kiss her neck easier. “James~” She breathed, she almost didn’t want him to bite her, she would let a wicked moan if he did. Her neck was rather sensitive and kissing and biting always made her hot and bothered. She shifted her body underneath him letting him lay more solidly on top of her. “I-I asked, have you been good for five minutes…” She breathed and let out a small moan of approval as he kissed her neck, letting her nail coast over his back, scratching him.

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

He shivered when she touched him, saying those words. "Aren't you a daring one... You have me at your command," he murmured, leaning to brush his lips against her and smirking, moving back before she could deepen the kiss. "more or less. Where would be the fun in that. But you could have won a war by yourself, if it took you so little to have the Winter Soldier at your mercy."

"Yes, my lady, I think I have..." he answered against her neck, pressing himself against her but careful not to hurt her, just enjoying the feeling of her soft body under his. "Would you like me not to be anymore?" He wasn't thinking. He knew he had a room close and he couldn't remember for his life why he wasn't there with her already.  

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

“Are you going to stay with me?” he replied as an answer to her last question. He could feel the waves of worry coming from her and he wanted to erase that, to take care of her like he had always done, except that this time he was the reason and he couldn’t change what he was, what his life was. He wished he could be stronger, more than he ever did, because it wasn’t his health at stake now, but her well-being, and that was more important than everything else. “As long… as long as I’ll know you’re okay, I’ll… work on being alright too,” he answered sincerely, finding difficult to use the right words. After Natalie, he hadn’t needed reassuring words for anyone. “I won’t fall apart, I promise. Not if I know that… you are here. You’ve always been my…” he squeezed his eyes shut, his brain quickly going back to Bucky, the man he was before. And the words arrived easily. “You’ve always been my reason. And the fact that you’re alive means that my life makes sense again. No matter what I did, I’ll do my best now to give you your friend back. If you’ll want me.” 

[americasavenger-archive-blog]

Stephanie raised her gaze from the floor and back to her friend as he answered her question with another. She was about to answer without even a moment of hesitation but he spoke again and she silenced herself. Listening as he spoke, only taking short breaks between his sentences that left her almost speechless. “Of course, I’ll stay Bucky” she nodded and looked at him with a small  reassuring smile. Hesitantly she shifted to hug him again, not like before where she’d completely wrapped her arms around him normally. She’d wrapped her arms around him from the side seeing by this point they were both sitting down. “Of course I want you, Bucky. I thought I had lost you for over seventy years, I’m not losing you again…” she nodded him, pulling back to look him in the eyes to make sure her words were known to be true. Everything he had said made her wish she had known sooner, been able to come by and make things easier for him before. Now that she knew he really was alive, she wouldn’t leave him alone again. Stephanie planned on doing whatever she could to help him. “I promise I’m not going to leave, I’m going to stay”. 

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

He let her hug him, leaning against her and taking a deep breath. When she pulled away so quickly he blinked, but then he saw her eyes. She really meant it, she was going to fight for him if necessary, like he had always fought for her. "I believe you," he said, a hand going from her shoulder to her long hair, "I'm sorry I'm... so difficult now. I don't remember much of how I did before. The whole talking, being normal. I have to learn again. God knows I haven't talked to the doctors here."  

[justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn]

“You jerk,” Steve replied, a breathless laugh escaping him as Bucky kissed him again. He kept a tight hold on his best friend, possibly soon to be lover, and leaned into every kiss he pressed to his lips. He loved the feeling, loved being with Bucky like this.

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

James, Bucky, laughed at his answer. It wasn’t clear why he loved the insult that much since the first time he had used it. Maybe it was because it was their thing, calling each other punk and jerk. “So this is not only today, right?” he asked, feeling as if he were drunk as he had to lean his forehead against the fridge to cool off. He felt like burning. “We should bring the food in bed then. No, that came out wrong,” he closed his eyes, shacking his head, “I meant to be comfortable and… kiss. I swear, I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want. This is new for me.” 

[justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn]

Steve smiled softly, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “We can go to bed and come back for food later,” he murmured against his lips. “It’s new for me, too, but… I want you.”

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

James closed his eyes, "Now those are not words you can say just like that, you know..." he sighed, wanting nothing more than having him in every possible way. He kissed him, pulling him forward for his shirt as he stepped back, not wanting to stop touching him even just for the time to reach his bedroom. 

[supersoldierrogers-blog]

“I’m with SHIELD… When I woke up, they kind of took me in. Now, I fight on this team, as well as live out my life as I should… What about you? They should have told me you were alive…”

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

"They woke me up almost a year ago... I've always been here. They were testing me, checking if I was dangerous, deciding if keeping me alive or not I guess. I didn't care, you were gone..." and if you were gone, it made no sense to live. "But now... now like hell I'm letting them experiment on me. The soviets, Hydra, they all did the same. I'm done with being a lab rat!" I growl, remembering the days before you came to save me from Red Skull, the things they did, and then all the fun that the Russians doctors had as well. No, that was the past now. 

[ataserandlargesweaters]

Darcy will be back tonight! I'll get back to all of you - slowly because of reasons

I have in my drafts for Darcy:

magic-in-science

captain-america-steve

web-slinging

loreleidelibrarian

hawkeye-agent-barton

and I’ll make a starter for

mightyarcher-hakweye

master-of-magic

and in weweregoingtoseethefuture, in the drafts:

americansavenger

ask-the-assistant-darcy

supersoldierrogers

justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn

I’ll also answer the asks and asgardian-frost, I’ll wait for a link! Also ask-the-winter-soldier, theoneandonlyfandral and good-old-america-boyscout you owe me! 

[justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn]

“You jerk,” Steve replied, a breathless laugh escaping him as Bucky kissed him again. He kept a tight hold on his best friend, possibly soon to be lover, and leaned into every kiss he pressed to his lips. He loved the feeling, loved being with Bucky like this.

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

James, Bucky, laughed at his answer. It wasn't clear why he loved the insult that much since the first time he had used it. Maybe it was because it was their thing, calling each other punk and jerk. "So this is not only today, right?" he asked, feeling as if he were drunk as he had to lean his forehead against the fridge to cool off. He felt like burning. "We should bring the food in bed then. No, that came out wrong," he closed his eyes, shacking his head, "I meant to be comfortable and... kiss. I swear, I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want. This is new for me." 

[supersoldierrogers-blog]

I listen closely, absorbing everything before I step close and pull you into a gentle hug. “Bucky… Even if you did those things, you are still my friends. Yes, I am a bit horrified at the numbers, but I know that were you in your right mind you would have never done that.”

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

You should be more horrified than that, is all I can think. But your hug keeps my mouth shut and I take a deep breath. “Never. Of course not. It’s… I was so sure you had died because of me… I stood next to you my whole life, taking care of you, and in the moment I left you, you crashed a plane. Because I wasn’t there to help.” Even if I feel I don’t deserve it, I hug you back, tighter than you are doing, making sure you’re not going anywhere.   

[supersoldierrogers-blog]

“I crashed that plane because I had to… Even if you had been there to try and save me, it would have happened anyways.” I hold you nice and close, allowing you to get more comfortable with the idea of me being here. “It will be ok…”

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

No, it won't, I want to say, but your hug and the fact that you're not disappearing in thin air relaxes me. "Where... what happened to you exactly? What are... are you doing now?" 

[justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn]

Steve let out a soft moan as he kissed Bucky, wrapping his arms tightly around him. He held onto him tightly, not wanting to let him go, not wanting to break the kiss. He wasn’t sure why it had taken him this long to act on how he felt; he’d known for a few years that he cared for Bucky as more than a brother, more than a friend.

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

Hearing someone moan because of him always made him want more, but hearing Steve had him almost stripping him right there, and he pushed his hips forward, growling in  his mouth. He kept his ends above the belt, but moved them under his shirt, wondering where did Steve had learned to kiss like this without a break, before realizing that the reason he needed to breathe already was that he was the one too caught up in the moment, with his heart pounding in his chest and making him feel alive again. He had to pull away, biting his lip gently as he did, breathing fast. “That did not happen before,” he murmured, unsure of how Steve would react. But it had been Steve who had taken the initiative, hadn’t he? He wanted this. He places his lips on his neck, tracing it with soft kisses.  

[justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn]

“No,” Steve replied, breathing just as heavily as Bucky was, “it didn’t. But maybe… maybe it should have.” He let out another soft moan as Bucky kissed his neck, burying his fingers in his best friend’s hair. He loved the feeling of Bucky holding him, kissing him. He wanted more and more from the man.

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

Hearing him moan again he pressed him against the fridge with his body again, moving his bionic hand against it as well to avoid hurting him, and gave him a little bite, feeling way more reactive than ever, every sense focused on Steve. He pulled back searching for his lips, that were swollen, and smiled at how beautiful Steve looked, now that he was red and with his hair ruffled. He wondered how he would look if they did more, and pushed that thought away. He had to calm down. “You’re more okay with this than I thought,” he murmured, which was an euphemism. He hadn’t thought that Steve would be okay with this at all. 

[justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn]

“I’ve wanted this for a long time,” Steve replied, holding tight to Bucky. “I… I was afraid you didn’t…” He blushed and lowered his gaze. “I love you, Bucky. Always have, always will.”

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

James wanted to kiss him again, but it wasn't an answer enough, because he couldn't even imagine how doubtful Steve must have felt, not knowing if he returned the feeling. "It might... have taken a longer time for me to accept that I felt the same, if you had told me this before... because I already felt it but I didn't understand it... but now that I know how life is without you, and how is with you..." he hoped that honesty would be okay, because the old Bucky would have run away, but also loved him back in the same way, because he had always loved Steve. "There is a reason why I always told you I would have followed you everywhere, you punk. What did you think it was?" And suddenly he felt like Bucky again, and this time his kiss was not desperate but happy, his lips smiling everytime he had to moved back to breath, not letting Steve go for even a second.  

[justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn]

Steve let out a soft moan as he kissed Bucky, wrapping his arms tightly around him. He held onto him tightly, not wanting to let him go, not wanting to break the kiss. He wasn’t sure why it had taken him this long to act on how he felt; he’d known for a few years that he cared for Bucky as more than a brother, more than a friend.

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

Hearing someone moan because of him always made him want more, but hearing Steve had him almost stripping him right there, and he pushed his hips forward, growling in  his mouth. He kept his ends above the belt, but moved them under his shirt, wondering where did Steve had learned to kiss like this without a break, before realizing that the reason he needed to breathe already was that he was the one too caught up in the moment, with his heart pounding in his chest and making him feel alive again. He had to pull away, biting his lip gently as he did, breathing fast. “That did not happen before,” he murmured, unsure of how Steve would react. But it had been Steve who had taken the initiative, hadn’t he? He wanted this. He places his lips on his neck, tracing it with soft kisses.  

[justaskinnykidfrombrooklyn]

“No,” Steve replied, breathing just as heavily as Bucky was, “it didn’t. But maybe… maybe it should have.” He let out another soft moan as Bucky kissed his neck, burying his fingers in his best friend’s hair. He loved the feeling of Bucky holding him, kissing him. He wanted more and more from the man.

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

Hearing him moan again he pressed him against the fridge with his body again, moving his bionic hand against it as well to avoid hurting him, and gave him a little bite, feeling way more reactive than ever, every sense focused on Steve. He pulled back searching for his lips, that were swollen, and smiled at how beautiful Steve looked, now that he was red and with his hair ruffled. He wondered how he would look if they did more, and pushed that thought away. He had to calm down. "You're more okay with this than I thought," he murmured, which was an euphemism. He hadn't thought that Steve would be okay with this at all. 

[supersoldierrogers-blog]

I listen closely, absorbing everything before I step close and pull you into a gentle hug. “Bucky… Even if you did those things, you are still my friends. Yes, I am a bit horrified at the numbers, but I know that were you in your right mind you would have never done that.”

[weweregoingtothefuture-arch-blog]

You should be more horrified than that, is all I can think. But your hug keeps my mouth shut and I take a deep breath. "Never. Of course not. It's... I was so sure you had died because of me... I stood next to you my whole life, taking care of you, and in the moment I left you, you crashed a plane. Because I wasn't there to help." Even if I feel I don't deserve it, I hug you back, tighter than you are doing, making sure you're not going anywhere.