Sometimes Whaley Says Things

[whaley-says-things]

Texting:

Tiffany: [really long post about an anime she's watching]

Whaley: I want pizza.

Tiffany:

TIffany: Sounds about right, yeah.

[whaley-says-things]

Someone: How old are you guys?

Whaley: Well, at least 12.

Tiffany: I'm at least 12.

Whaley: And I'm 20.

Tiffany:

Whaley: That would be really creepy. Close enough.

Whaley: But... if I were 16... and Tiff was 16....

Tiffany: We would be in love.

Whaley: Yep. It's how it works.

-Sometime in November around 3 or 4 am 2012

[whaley-says-things]

Whaley: Tiff, who would win in a fight between a bear and a shark? Go.

Tiffany: ... the shark.

Whaley: What if they were fighting on land?

Tiffany: [strange noise of distress] the bear.

Everyone:

[five minutes later after the discussion moved on]

Whaley: Tiffff.

Whaley: What if the shark has a laser attached to it?

Tiffany: THEN, THE SHARK.

Whaley: What if it can't control the laser?

Tiffany: What if your legs forgot they were legs?

Whaley: Didn't know they were legs*.

Steven: What if we were pancakes. [stops] [stares].

Whaley: ...They're both on the shore, Tiff. So, like--

Tiffany: THE SHARK

Whaley: The shark still? What if it's like--

Tiffany: THEY'RE ON THE SHORE

Whaley: What if it's a really big shark? Like, a super shark.

Tiffany: ...the shark still.

Whaley: Really? Fine. No, that's fine. I was just checking.

-Whaley, Steven and Tiffany at around 3 am on November 11th 2012

[whaley-says-things]

Whaley: oy

Tiffany:

Whaley: OY

Tiffany: CALM UR NATHAN KRESS HAIR WAVE

Whaley:

Whaley: I'm leaving.

Whaley: You can't just bring up Nathan Kress like that.

[love-ly-things]

me: I lost my necklace chain.

Whaley: what. how. do you wear it?

me: no, it’s just gone. [searching through drawers]

Whaley: I don’t understand. That’s not even possible. I’m sure it’s like two feet away from your bed or som—

me: [holds up necklace chain I found two feet from my bed]

Whaley: 

[whaley-says-things]

Me: I want to wake up early tomorrow and make some macaroni. I'm really feeling macaroni and cheese.

-later-

Whaley: [screaming because some game idk actually lol]

Me: CHILL

Whaley: YOU NEED TO CHILL. WOW, you're the one waking up tomorrow at like 6 am just to make some macaroni. That's like crazy cracker status, you know that right?

12.50am 2/21/13

[love-ly-things]

I’m just pointing things out and mimicking. That’s all.

Whaley at 1:41 AM (2/22/13)

[whaley-says-things]

Tiffany: [squealing and crying over an anime she's watching]

Whaley: "I can't do this anymore. ...I can't even imagine what it's like to be a girl like this. Like, feeling that kind of emotion constantly."

2/13/13 12.48 am

[whaley-says-things]

-Whaley at 2 am 2/8/13

[love-ly-things]

Whaley’s face when I said I’m going to church instead of getting McDonalds

[whaley-says-things]

OH, it's 4:20! SMOKIN' WEED! YOLO! BLAZE UP! EVERYDAY!

Whaley at 4:20 am

[whaley-says-things]

She'd go smoke and I'd be like, 'Kay, I'm just going to sit here and drink this orange juice...'

Whaley, 2:50 pm

[whaley-says-things]

Tiffany: "Why did I do this to my phone [covered it in nail polish]? I regret everything."

Whaley: "You could probably scrape it off, to be honest. You could wash it off probably. [high pitched voice] 'I can't put my phone in water!' [regular voice] No, Tiffany. Don't put your phone in water."

Tiffany: "You spoke my thoughts exactly stop it."

Whaley at 1.30 am

[whaley-says-things]

"So my friend used to just whip out his chapstick and like put it on during class. Like, c'mon man, I don't want to see that. Put it on in the bathroom alone or something. MAN UP."

-Whaley (12:01 pm)

[whaley-says-things]

Tiffany: "You know what we should do?"

Whaley: "... Oh, no."

(Whaley, at 4.16 am)

[whaley-says-things]

"I love Tom Milsom."

-Whaley (11/5/12 at 12:21pm)

[whaley-says-things]

"That's like, you just got your foot cut off and they're like, 'Do you want to try to go to sleep? It's fine, shh.' NO. IT HURTS."

-Whaley has a migraine and Tiffany asked him if he wants to go to bed. (12:03 pm)