TW: Panic Attack, social anxiety
Ghost decides to go to the supermarket alone during their leave. Because he wants to do something for Johnny while he is still asleep. And because he can do it if he sets his mind to it. He leaves a short note, steps outside and walks down the road of their little town. He breathes in and out calmly behind his face mask.
When he steps into the supermarket a cool breeze brushes against his skin. He looks around. There are more people than expected. But it's okay. He can handle this much.
He takes a basket and starts gathering what he needs for his planned breakfast. Almost done, just a little bit longer. He only has to endure it a tad longer. He reaches for a glass of pickles but when someone walks past him, screeching, laughing with a friend, he flinches and his hand loosens the grip. The glass crashes to the floor, pickles, liquid and glass spreading beneath him.
And when he looks up they stare. All the eyes look at him, their glance piercing through his walls. They make sure that he knows what a disgrace he is. That he isn't worth anything. He is useless, doesn't even deserve to enjoy a calm morning if he doesn't work for it.
His view gets distorted when he starts to feel dizzy. His chest hurts, his heart races against his skin, making it move. He can feel it. Air stops filling up his lungs while he crouches down, grabs into his shirt and tries to take a breath.
They don't stop, they still stare. They judge him. Judging him for the miserable man he is, sitting on a dirty supermarket floor and trying to make himself invisible.
A familiar voice fills the air around him, he hears people murmuring but can't understand a word. And when two strong arms wrap around him and press his head against a broad and calming chest he can only hear one specific voice speaking to him.
"Simon, it's okay. I'm here, I am with you. You're going to be okay. Nothing and no one will hurt you. You're not alone anymore. It's okay, love. You're okay."
And while his tears stop falling he clenches onto the arms, hides his face and finally starts to breathe again.
"Why didn't you wake me up, love?" Johnny asks quietly into his ear.
"Wanted to make you breakfast," Ghost says, his voice cracking.
He hears a light chuckle. "You're so sweet, Simon. Thank you for trying, love. Now, let's get you back home, hm?"
Simon nods tiredly and gets up, their fingers intertwined. Next time he will ask Johnny to join him. Maybe he isn't strong enough yet. And maybe it's okay to give himself some more time to adjust. Because with Johnny he never needed to be strong in the first place.
