"i'll pull out, baby. i promise. just look at me" he murmurs against your lips, his voice that low, quiet rumble that always makes your head spin. anton has his large hands slid right under your thighs, lifting your legs high and pinning them back against your chest so you're completely open for him. you're already aching, your core throbbing and slick from how long he's been teasing you, your breasts heaving with every ragged breath you take as he lines himself up.
he doesn't wait for you to agree. anton slides in deep, a slow, heavy thrust that fills you up entirely, making a soft, wet sound echo between your thighs. you let out a broken whine, your fingers digging into the mattress as his thick cock stretches you out, hitting that sensitive spot so perfectly that your eyes instantly roll back. he groans, a dark, needy sound vibrating in his chest as he starts moving, his pace steady but heavy, completely burying himself inside you with every single roll of his hips.
"fuck, you're so tight" he pants, leaning down to crush his mouth against yours, his tongue sliding deep into your mouth to catch your whimpers. his hands shift from your thighs to grab your boobs, his long fingers squeezing the soft flesh roughly, kneading your breasts while his hips keep up that punishing, relentless rhythm. you're a complete mess under him, your head tossing on the pillow, your clit rubbing against his pelvic bone with every deep, sliding thrust until you're crying out his name, completely lost in the friction.
you can feel him getting bigger inside you, the heat of his cock becoming almost unbearable as his pace quickens, his thrusts turning shallow and desperate. "anton— wait, you promised," you sob out, trying to push at his chest as the realization hits you, your core clenching around him as you feel him hit his limit. "anton, pull out—"
but he doesn't. instead, he growls, his entire body going rigid as he slams himself all the way to the hilt, burying his cock so deep against your cervix it makes you gasp. he holds himself there, his hips shuddering violently as he cums, pouring a massive, hot torrent of seed straight into your womb. you can feel every single hot pulse of him filling you up, the thick warmth stretching you from the inside out until it's practically overflowing.
he stays heavy on top of you for a long moment, chest heaving against your breasts, his breath hot against your neck before he slowly slides out with a wet, sticky click. you immediately whimper, feeling the heavy warmth of his cum starting to leak out from your pussy, dripping onto the sheets beneath you.
"why did you do that?" you cry softly, your voice trembling as you look up at him, tears blurring your vision. "you said you wouldn't. you promised me, anton."
anton just blinks down at you, his expression shifting back to that calm, innocent look he always gets, completely unbothered as he reaches down to pull the blanket up over your shivering body. he lets out a soft, amused sigh, leaning over to kiss your forehead so tenderly it almost makes you doubt your own mind.
"what are you talking about, baby?" he whispers, his large hand coming down to gently stroke your tummy, smoothing over the skin right where his cum is pooling inside you. "i did pull out. you're just worked up because it felt so intense. you're just imagining things, pretty girl."
"no, i feel it, it's leaking" you protest, your voice cracking as you try to move away, but his grip on your waist tightens just enough to keep you still.
"shh, stop being silly" he murmurs, his thumb wiping a tear from your cheek while his other hand keeps rubbing your stomach, his eyes dark and completely steady as he stares you down. "i wouldn't lie to you. you're just tired and confused. it's just your own slick, sweet boy. lay down and let daddy hold you. you're fine."
loosely inspired by the new spider-man movie. you’ll see. made up my own antagonist bc i do what i want.
spider-man!anton x (f) reader. friend of a friend to lovers. oral sex (giving and receiving). sub!anton. anton’s kind of a loser in this. anton’s pov mostly. the total opposite of a slow burn. wingman!bff!sohee. angst with a happy ending.
sum. anton’s been crushing on you for months and his best friend sohee can’t stand to watch him yearn like a loser anymore, so he forces him to talk to you. as it turns out, you might be into him too. but with mind man, a supervillain, trying to get into his head, anton might not be able to spare you from what it means to be a part of spider-man’s life.
Shotaro’s party at his house, ANTON POV, 8:33 PM
Until a few seconds ago, Anton had no idea at all that you were coming.
Anton had been looking around—not for you, because he was certain you would not be there—but for the beer. “I think Shotaro’s running low.”
“Yeah. And you’re flying low. Might want to fix that before your girl gets here,” Sohee said with the same voice you would tell a friend it was expected to rain tomorrow. He was casually scrolling through his phone.
Anton’s head snapped towards him. “What?” It was the loudest a whisper could be while still maintaining its whisper quality. “I thought she wasn’t coming!”
Sohee shrugged. “She wasn’t. But Shotaro says she changed her mind.”
Anton fixed his pants, his fingers hastily working to zip them up. Then, he ran them through his hair. “Does my hair look okay?” he asked. He had not particularly dressed himself up tonight. A pair of jeans and a campus hoodie usually sufficed for Shotaro’s parties, but not if you were there.
Sohee glanced up from his phone with the faintest trace of amusement in his eyes. “Relax, dude, it’s a party, not the Met Gala. She’s probably not going to be particularly fancy herself.”
She looks fancy in everything she’s in, Anton was tempted to say, but he withheld. He knew Sohee would only tease him and call him a simp.
Within the hour, you came in holding more beer than one person ought to have been carrying, and Anton would have gone over to help had Shotaro not beat him to it. He only watched instead. You were the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen by far. In jeans and a tank top, you had an otherworldly charm to your beauty. The way you smiled sent his heart fluttering up into the heavens. And your eyes, they were like nothing else, bright and warm as the sun on skin. Whenever you looked at him, he felt as though he was melting away.
Wonbin shot up from the couch. “You came!”
“Yup,” you said. “Shotaro decided to infringe upon my free will.”
What Wonbin must have heard was, “You kidnapped her.”
Shotaro took the accusation in stride, literally, as he gathered everything from your hands and headed for the kitchen. “All I did was introduce her to this beautiful thing called community.” He broke into the crowd and disappeared.
Anton watched your eyes dart across the room and brighten with familiarity as you recognized the face beside him. “Sohee,” you called, “Why are you hugging the wall?”
Sohee glanced up from his phone, grinning. “I like hugging the wall. We’ve been waiting for someone to bring beer. It’s better than getting drunk off that abomination of a punch Shotaro made and kissing the floor.”
You laughed. Then, you laid eyes on him. “Hi, Anton!”
Anton put up his hand in a shy wave. “Hey,” he replied quietly.
You did not linger. You said your greetings and went to join Eunseok and Wonbin on the couch, where they quickly roped you into playing video games.
“Real smooth,” Sohee teased.
“Shut up,” Anton told him. He did not do well with strangers. Perhaps you weren't a total stranger, but you were Shotaro’s friend more than you were his. Even Sohee knew you better than he did.
The first time Anton saw you he had been making a beeline for his Music History class after hurriedly shedding his Spider-Man gear behind one of the the less frequented buildings. A couple of morons had decided to kidnap a politician’s son thirty minutes before Anton was due to leave. The incident culminated in a shaken but otherwise unharmed eighteen-year-old, two prison-bound idiots webbed to a crashed car, some terrified civilians, and a few scratches Anton’d had no time to think on. As he was bolting across the pavement, he saw you sitting at a bench with your friends Willow and Krystal, and he almost gave himself whiplash looking at you.
He remembered hoping that he would see you again so that he could prove to himself that you were not something his mind had deliriously fashioned up after hitting his head a few times too many. He even found Sohee after class and described you vividly, the way your hair framed your face, how your nose fit you, how your lips were moist. Sohee went on Instagram and pulled up a profile, asking, “You mean her?” Anton had spent that night scrolling through your profile. He didn’t mean to be a creep, but the sight of you fascinated him and he wanted to engrave it into his memory.
And the day after that, he had gone to Shotaro and asked him to tell him everything he knew about you. Sohee had told him that you two were friends, and Anton had seen for himself that Shotaro was following you online. Shotaro advised that he should talk to you himself if he wanted to get to know you, but Anton was terribly afraid of that going wrong. What if he said something that scared you away? What if you thought he was weird? What if you decided he was boring?
So Anton never said as much as a word to you unless you spoke to him first. At least that way he knew he was not likely to make a fool of himself.
But tonight Sohee was tired of watching him brooding in the corner. “You’re ruining the vibe, man,” his friend told him. Half an hour later, you set down your controller and went off towards the kitchen. “This is your chance. Go talk to her.”
Anton protested the idea immediately. “Nope. Not doing it.”
Sohee rolled his eyes. “Yes, you are. I can’t keep watching you eat your heart out for this girl you refuse to talk to. You’re a cool, charismatic guy, but how is she supposed to know that if you don’t open your mouth and speak?”
“When I open my mouth, nothing comes out.”
“Have you even tried?” Sohee asked. “Come on. Ten minutes. If you can’t figure out what to say in ten minutes, I’ll consider you incorrigibly doomed and never bring it up again.”
Against his will, Anton wound up meandering towards the kitchen where he found you on your phone, leaning against the counter. “Hey,” he forced out. “Just… needed a break from the noise.”
You glanced up from your phone. “Oh, okay. Cool.” You glanced back down.
“Yeah. Cool.” Anton was already regretting this. What was he supposed to say now? “Wonbin’s gonna be sad you bailed on him. He looked like he was really getting into it.” I’m just making it worse.
“Wonbin gets a little too into it,” you said. “Besides, I’m not a video game person anyway.”
“Yeah, me neither,” Anton said. “I just like to chill and listen to music.”
You put your phone away. “What kind of music do you listen to?”
Although Sohee was still in the living room, Anton could still hear him in his head. She’s engaging. Don’t blow it, Sohee’s voice was saying. “Pretty much everything. I’ve been exposed to a lot of stuff over the years. Lately, I’ve been on a Neo Soul craze.”
“Neo Soul?” you echoed, smiling.
Did I choose the wrong dialogue option? Anton asked himself. “Yeah…? Why do you say it like that?”
You glanced him over. “No reason,” you said, but he could see the amusement in your eyes. “So, do you like D’Angelo?”
Anton willed himself to relax. “Are you kidding? He had something really rare. I’m always in awe with his vocal layering. Actually, I’ve been listening to ‘Another Life’ a lot lately. One of the best songs ever created.”
“‘Another Life?’” You laughed. “Do you have a secret crush I don’t know about?”
Anton’s heart was pounding. “What? No. No. That’s not why. I just… like the music.”
“That’s fair.”
He couldn’t tell if you believed him or not. “What about you?”
You thought about it. “I think my favorite song is ‘Me and Those Dreamin’ Eyes of Mine.’ I love a song that’s beautiful and yearnful, you know? And he has a way of keeping everything from sounding empty. Stuff like that amazes me. I hear great songs and just wonder about the process behind it.”
That answer surprised Anton. Most people he met didn’t question music that deeply. “Have you ever made music?”
You turned shy. “Well, yes. I’ve written and produced a few songs before. But I’m not an expert or anything. I’d like to learn more.”
Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I can’t believe this. “I’m, uh, a music student. I produce songs in my free time. I’ve been practicing since I was in middle school,” Anton said coolly. “I could show you what I know one day. If you wanted that.”
“That’s really nice of you,” you replied softly.
Her voice is beautiful, Anton was thinking. This was the most he had said to you ever. Just as that realization came to him, his special ringtone went off, drawing his attention to the phone tucked into his back pocket. “Sorry, that’s my little brother. He only calls me when it’s important. I should go, but, uh, maybe we can pick this up later?”
“Yeah. Sure,” you agreed. “Do you want my number?”
Anton’s mind grounded to a halt. “Yes.” But at the same time, every second he was here, someone was out there wreaking havoc across New York.
“I’ll have Shotaro text it to you,” you said. “Bye-bye, Anton.”
The way you said his name always made his chest feel warm. “Thanks. See you later.” He grabbed his backpack and went out through the back door.
Anton had two ringtones: one was his regular ringtone that sounded when someone was calling him, but the other was connected to a feature Sohee had built into his phone that alerted him of when an urgent crime was happening somewhere nearby.
Sohee was the only person who knew Anton’s secret identity, and that was only because he had been waiting for him in his bedroom when Anton climbed in one day in high school. In the end, this proved beneficial for Anton; not only did Sohee cover for him when he was out of excuses, but he helped him design tools that facilitated his Spider-Man endeavors.
Anton donned his Spider-Man wear and swung out into the night. It was windy around this time, but he liked the way the air buffeted his face through his mask. The city was swallowed in the shadows where evil lurked unseen, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It was his job to rid this city of these criminals that sought only to destroy and harm, and his responsibility to make sure that people felt safe and protected in their home.
Per the app Sohee had built, some burglars had broken into a woman’s house and ran off with thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. They were on the road now in what a neighbor had described as a dark blue-ish sedan. Most likely they had not gotten far.
He was only glad it wasn’t Mind Man tonight. Petty criminals posed no real threat to him, but Mind Man was something else entirely. When they fought, Anton had the sickening feeling that Mind Man was fighting him to understand more than he was fighting him to win. Every time, Anton got the better of him, but the victory never left a sweet taste in his mouth. And with every new duel, Mind Man grew stronger and less predictable.
Anton threw himself into the air over and over. In the sky, he felt untouchable. He liked to get up as high as he could and throw himself off rooftops, dive, pull himself up, and swing on and on and on. There was something about it that gave him a rush. The way the world would swallow him up and then he’d launch himself out of its mouth before it could sink its teeth into him. When he was up here, nothing could hurt him.
He wished other people could feel like this. Free, like a bird… or a spider. Every now and then when Anton was having a hard time he just took to the sky and swung around until his head felt clearer and his heart felt lighter. Up here, there was no need for thinking or feeling. You could just exist.
Only a few minutes had passed before a sedan swerving recklessly caught his eye, blue in color. “Got you,” he muttered to himself. He swung with alarm now. Any more of this and they would cause a wreck. He threw himself down onto the hood of the vehicle. “Stop the car!”
The driver had a battered face and scruffy beard. “Look who it is,” he said gruffly. “Get off my car or I’ll kill you, Spider-Man.”
“I wouldn’t really recommend that. Can we try talking it out over coffee? If you pull over, there’s a nice coffee shop near—”
The man in the passenger seat took out a rifle and started shooting at him.
Anton leapt onto the roof of the car, dodging the bullets as they flew into the air. “Okay, so no coffee. Maybe beer? You guys like beer?”
“Kill him!” shouted the driver.
“Okay, okay, point taken. You know what they say. Don’t bring beer to a gun fight.” The first thing he did was disarm shoots-a-lot in the passenger seat. He reeled the rifle towards himself with a web, used another to block the barrel, and a final shot to bind it out of arm’s reach of the passenger.
When that was done, he dropped back down onto the hood. “You!” the driver snarled. He turned down the corner at break-neck speed, scarcely missing the others cars on the street.
Anton was dismayed. “Holy shit, man. Where did you get your license?” He climbed onto the passenger side of the car and shot a web inside, binding the driver’s hands to the steering wheel.
“You piece of shit! Get this off me!”
“No way, José,” Anton said. Another strand of silky web tugged at the driver’s foot, away from the gas pedal. The car gradually began to slow to a halt.
The man in the passenger seat barreled out of the car and bolted off into the street. “Wow. Really?” Anton said. Just as shoots-a-lot ran beside a wall on the right end of the road, Anton blew another shot that sealed him against the brick.
There were sirens howling behind them. After a few moments they came from around every corner, blocking in the car.
“Got them right here for you, officer,” Anton said. He looked between the two criminals, both locked in place. “You guys are ready for GTA 6. Too bad you can’t play in prison.”
“Thank you, Spider-Man,” an officer said as he came out of his car.
“No problem. Same time tomorrow!” Anton launched a web and pulled himself up and away. There was always a new danger.
The campus courtyard, ANTON POV, 2:57 PM
You were reading something on your phone. “Man, does Spider-Man have a job? Or school? They’re saying he caught, like, a dozen dudes last night.”
Shotaro shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe that is his job.”
“Do you think Spider-Man is making minimum wage?” Sohee asked with a smile.
You giggled. “I wonder who he is. Do you guys think he’s hot?”
Anton made a strangled noise.
Everyone’s heads whipped towards him. “Anton? You good?” Shotaro asked, brows stitched with concern.
Anton forced a smile. “No, yeah. Just choked on my saliva.”
Sohee was grinning from ear to ear. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder. “That’s an interesting question. But the mystery is the whole appeal. It would be boring if everyone knew what he looked like. But who knows? Maybe he’s an absolute beast beneath the spandex.”
Shotaro thought about it. “I mean, you can tell he has a nice build. You have to be in good shape to do all that swinging and stuff,” he agreed. “I never thought about whether or not he was hot though.” He turned towards you. “Why? Do you want him to be hot?”
You shrugged indifferently. “A lot of girls our age think he’s hot. Have you opened any social media platform ever? There’s even Spider-Man fanfiction.”
Anton felt like he was going to die. “I don’t think people should write creepy stuff about him. He’s just some guy trying to do the right thing.”
Sohee ignored him entirely. “Do you read Spider-Man fanfiction?” he asked you.
You shoved Sohee away. “No, I don’t read Spider-Man fanfiction, dude. I’ve moved onto Ghostface now.”
Sohee laughed incredulously. “Ghostface? Really? A serial killer that murders all his friends for fame and glory and whatever the fuck? That’s who you have the hots for?” He shook his head. “Women are so weird, I swear. You gave up a masked vigilante for a masked murderer.”
“I guess she’s got a type,” Shotaro said, “masked, mad and mysterious.”
“Mad?” Anton echoed.
“I think you have to be pretty mad to dedicate your life to trading blows with the Bad Guy of the Day.”
“Ghostface isn’t real, though,” you were saying. “Spider-Man is.”
Anton was in disbelief. “So because Ghostface isn’t real, he’s fair game… and you prefer him to Spider-Man who spends his time making New York City a safer place? Why?”
You shrugged again. “Don’t get me wrong. I love Spider-Man. We need him out here. But when I was reading Spider-Man fanfiction, I was, like, seventeen. Sometimes you just move on from things. And I’ve been watching a ton of horror movies lately,” you explained. “Who do you guys think would win in a fight? Ghostface or Spider-Man?”
“Spider-Man, hands down,” Sohee replied as if it were obvious. “Ghostface is literally just some random with a knife. Spider-Man is Spider-Man. Any attack Ghostface tries, Spider-Man can have him webbed against the wall easily.”
You bit your nail. “He can web me against the wall.”
Everyone’s head turned. “What?”
“Kidding, kidding,” you replied, thoroughly unconvincing. “I just don’t agree. How would Spider-Man beat Ghostface? Ghostface is always fast and strong too. And you can’t really defeat them until they’re dead. When has Spider-Man ever killed anyone?”
Anton was stiff. “I mean, what makes Spider-Man great is that he doesn’t have to kill anyone to be helpful. He doesn’t believe in needless violence.”
Sohee snorted. He’s enjoying this, Anton thought to himself. “Dude, you’re defending him pretty hard. You got a crush on the guy?” he asked knowingly. “She does make a good point, though. Ghostface plays by his own rules.”
“That’s true,” Shotaro agreed. “Ghostface is ruthless, but I think Spidey could kill him if he wanted to, or had to.”
Thank you, Anton was saying in his mind.
“Whatever,” you replied dismissively. “I need to see what Spidey’s working with underneath the suit before I decide if he’s smashable. If he’s jacked but ugly he has to keep the mask on.”
Anton almost walked into Shotaro when you said that. When will this conversation be over?
Sohee was tickled, but he said nothing. For now.
Shotaro, none the wiser, continued to entertain the debate. “There’s just no way he isn’t fit.”
Anton looked to Sohee for help, but the amusement on his face signaled that he was utterly alone. “Guys, you can’t just judge someone’s worth by their body. I mean, what if he’s got a nice personality?”
You rolled your eyes. “Come on. I’m not saying he should be put to death if he’s ugly, but would you fuck someone you don’t find attractive?”
Sohee was almost choking with how hard he was restraining himself from laughter.
Anton couldn’t meet your eyes. “There’s more to attraction than just looks,” he said softly. “Personality, chemistry…”
“I don’t think this is helping your case, man,” Sohee butt in. “In order to judge Spider-Man’s personality, she would have to know him. But she doesn’t.”
Anton sighed. “I don’t know why I’m even arguing about this. I’m just saying that looks aren’t everything. Attraction is made up of a lot of different components, and not everyone needs to see someone’s face to feel a connection.”
Shotaro was touched. “That’s sweet, man.” He patted Anton on the back. “Whoever Spider-Man is, I’m sure he’d appreciate you coming to defend him this hard.”
“I just wouldn’t let an ugly man touch me. I have dignity,” you said abruptly.
“No, yeah,” Anton said. “You should do whatever makes you comfortable.”
Sohee finally burst into laughter. “This conversation just made my whole day, because I’m pretty sure I bombed my exam.”
Shotaro shook his head. “Ease up on the guy. He was just trying to defend Spider-Man’s honor.”
Anton smiled, as if finally understanding the lack of gravity of the dialogue they were having. “I’m just saying we should give him the benefit of the doubt. What if he has a nice voice?”
“Yeah, I’ll make sure to keep that in mind the next time I have a conversation with Spider-Man,” you droned.
Sohee chuckled. “So, who’s your favorite Ghostface?”
You paused to consider it. “I love Stu and Billy, like there’s just something about the magic of the original that I don’t think can be replicated, but I also love Ethan. He’s hot and I’m a sucker for a shy dork.”
A shy dork. Anton looked away.
“I guess I can see the appeal,” Sohee said. “He’s got the whole quiet thing going on, like he’s harmless but a little unhinged beneath the surface. That your thing?”
“I mean, I don’t want to date someone who’s an undercover psychopath,” you said, “but I can handle a little peculiarity. Who wants a serial killer?”
“A little peculiarity. Yeah. Makes sense,” Anton murmured.
Shotaro threw him a curious look, but said nothing. “Anyway, we should all have a movie night again and do a horror theme this time.”
“I’m so in,” Sohee said. “I love watching this girl pretend she’s not scared and then scream out of nowhere.”
You looked annoyed. “I don’t scream. I just make a little noise.”
Anton’s lips twitched. “I believe you.”
“Don’t,” Shotaro said. “The first and last time I watched a movie with her, she couldn’t sit still. And then she kept yelling: ‘are you dumb?’ ‘Look behind you!’ ‘Why aren’t you running?’”
Sohee laughed. “We’re having a movie night for sure. Let’s do my place. Bring your own snacks though.” He turned to Anton. “You’re coming, right?”
You glanced over at Anton who was walking on your far left. “Yeah, you’re coming. Right?”
It was nothing when Sohee had asked him, but when you did it, he felt like there was no way he could refuse. “Yeah. Yeah. For sure.”
You grinned. “Try not to get dragged away this time.”
For a second Anton was afraid he had done something to plant suspicion in your mind that night, afraid that you knew something you should not have known… but then he realized he was being paranoid and there was no way you could have figured him out for a certainty. “I’ll try my best,” he said.
Movie night at Sohee’s house, ANTON POV, 7:22 PM
All four of you had gotten cozy on the sofa, Shotaro, you, Sohee and Anton, in that order. A bowl of popcorn was being shared by each pair.
Anton was not normally one to watch horror films, but he supposed it wasn’t so bad with three friends in his company. And besides you had wanted him here. That alone was more than enough reason to stay.
He was hardly paying the movie any mind anyway. His attention was on you. You became restless when the music grew dramatic and tense, looked away from the screen when something particularly brutal was happening, and yet you seemed totally enraptured by the disturbing contents of this frightening movie. He watched how you clung to Shotaro for comfort and winced when a character took a mortal blow. He noticed how you shrunk when someone you had liked was mangled and butchered beyond salvation. He saw the way your eyes were fixed to the screen with a new intensity during the final act.
What Anton did not expect was for you to ask him halfway through the second movie of the evening, “Anton, do you wanna grab me another water?”
It was a strange request, mostly because he was the furthest from the kitchen, but he did not deny you. “Sure,” he said. He got up; he walked behind the couch to avoid blocking the screen; he went to the kitchen; he grabbed a bottle of water from Sohee’s fridge; he walked back and handed it to you; he sat back down.
You smiled. “Thanks, Anton.”
“No problem,” Anton replied quietly. He forced himself to look at the television mounted on the wall. Something in him died when he felt your fingers brush against yours during the handoff. It came back to life when he heard you say his name.
By the end of the third movie, everyone seemed to have tapped out and had their fill of blood and gore for one evening. Anton and Sohee were hovering in the kitchen. “That could have meant something,” Anton was saying, “or it could have meant nothing. What do you think? I’m overthinking it, right? She was just thirsty.”
Sohee groaned. “My brother, she asked you to get her water. Not me. Not Shotaro. You. She could have asked anyone else in the room, but she asked the guy she barely knows who’s sitting on the other side of the couch. Come on, man.”
Anton didn’t want to get his hopes up over something as insignificant as a bottle of water, but he had to admit that it felt intentional.
Before he could respond, he heard your voice from behind him. “Anton,” you called out, emerging from the living room. “I believe I’m owed a conversation.”
You reached for a family sized bag of barbecue chips that you had brought with you when you came through the door. “Want some?” you asked Anton.
“Yeah,” Anton said softly. “I want some.”
He ignored the way Sohee was grinning at him as he followed you wherever you were taking him. You wound up at the top of the building, a faint breeze making Anton’s hair rustle like leaves in the wind. He watched you settle down near the edge of the rooftop, the city sprawling beneath his feet with a lifelike quality of its own. He lowered himself beside you but kept a respectful distance.
“How do you do that?”
You opened the bag of chips and held it between you both. “Do what?”
Anton looked around. Darkness loomed around them, but the city lights kept everything luminous. “Make everything easy,” he said. “I mean, I’ve been wanting to talk to you for real for months. And you walk up and offer me chips like it’s nothing.”
You chuckled. “I can be shy too,” you confessed. “It’s just that when I meet someone shyer than me, it makes me feel bold. Maybe I’m a predator or some shit. And you’re my prey.”
Anton paused in the middle of reaching for a chip. Then, he burst into laughter. “Prey? That’s what I am to you?” He shook his head. “Should I be nervous?”
“Maybe,” you said. You leaned in. “It makes me feel in control.”
For a small moment Anton felt his heart stop. His eyes darted to your lips, but he forced himself to look away. “In control?” he repeated. “That sounds, uh, dangerous.”
You giggled and pulled away. “So, do you have female friends?”
The question caught Anton off guard, but he was not compelled to lie. “Uh, yeah,” he said. “I have a few. I mean, I don’t have a ton of friends in general, but some of them are girls and some of them are guys. Why?”
“Oh, no reason,” you said, your voice too high-pitched and easygoing for him to believe you. “Do you like kids?”
Anton couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being lured into a trap of some kind. “Do I like kids? I mean, yeah? I have a little brother. He’s not, like, a little kid anymore, but I remember when he was. And I used to help kids learn to swim, back in high school.” He stared at you warily. “Is this a trick?”
“Nope,” you said. “So, like, have you ever heard of artists like SOPHIE? BAYLI? Underscores? Destin Conrad?”
“I know all of them except BAYLI,” Anton said. “Why? Should I get into them?”
You giggled. “Absolutely, she’s amazing,” you told him. “So hypothetically… let’s say you’re really mad at Sohee. Like, he’s teasing you and he just takes it too far one day. And you’re already in a shit mood. What do you do?”
Anton knew for sure he was being tested now, but he said nothing about it. “Well… if Sohee pissed me off, he’d know because I’d stop talking to him for a while. I’d just take a moment to myself to chill out and think on it. And then when I’m ready we can talk it out.”
“Interesting.”
“Is it really?”
You didn’t answer. “So, like… what are your plans for the future?”
Anton glanced off into the distance again. The future. What good had it ever done him to make plans about something so uncertain as that? When he was a boy, all he had cared about was being good enough at swimming that it would open doors for him. Then when he was in high school, a spider bit him, and it changed his life forever.
Now as far as he knew, his future was here, protecting the city he called home by night while by day he was figuring out what it meant to be Anton Lee. “Music. I want to produce and write. Maybe put out my own stuff eventually, but I’m more comfortable behind the scenes.” He had spoken so much about himself he felt as though he was being interviewed. “What about you? What do you want to do?”
You shrugged. “I just like… stories. I love writing and reading. Listening to music too. There’s just something about something that can take you to another world. Even if it’s just for an hour and then reality grounds you back to earth.”
Your words struck a place deep inside him that Anton visited often. “Yeah. I know what you mean.” He met your eyes. “I’d like to read your stories sometime.”
“Maybe one day you can,” you said in a small voice. “Did you grow up here? I love New York.”
She’s shy when it comes to talking about her art, Anton noticed. One time was a coincidence, but twice was a pattern. The thought made him smile. He would have to be gentle about it, then. “I was born in Boston, but I grew up here, yeah. This is home for me. You?”
“I just came here to get away,” you said. “I’m from a really boring city in the south that we shall not name. After graduating high school, I kind of just wanted to be far enough from home that driving is impractical.”
Anton wondered what could have driven you to want to be that far away, but he didn’t pry. Not now. “You’re in the right place, then. Nobody really looks twice at anyone here.”
“It’s really nice,” you said, glancing down at the bustling streets below. “What would you change about it?”
Anton followed your gaze. “What would I change?” he repeated quietly. He sighed. “The rent prices, for one. It shouldn’t cost an arm and a leg just to basically live in someone’s closet. And I’d… make it safer. It can be really dangerous sometimes. I want people to feel like they can walk home without looking over their shoulder.”
You hummed. “That’s reasonable.”
Anton’s heart felt lighter. The conversation had drifted somewhere easy. “You’re really easy to talk to,” he said after a pause.
“Thanks,” you said, grinning. “You too. Although we should probably head back down.”
“You’re right.” Even as he said that, there was a hint of reluctance in his voice. “Sohee’s gonna think I fell down the roof.” He stood up and outstretched his hand.
“Relax. I think I can still stand up by myself.” You accepted his hand anyway.
Anton pulled you up gingerly, his breathing trapped in his throat as he felt your fingers, soft and supple, close around his own. He held them for a second longer than he should have. “Just being polite,” he murmured. “You know, between you and me, I wasn’t in a hurry to go back down.”
“I know,” you said with a teasing smile. You led him down anyway.
“Look who decided to join us,” Sohee said when the two of you returned. “Were you doing a tour or what?”
“Oh, yeah. A very thorough tour at that,” you said as you went to set your barbecue chips on the table. “Had to make sure he saw all the bird shit. He said that was his favorite part.”
Anton played along. “No, yeah. The bird shit really helped set the vibe.”
Sohee crossed his arms. “Right. That’s exactly what happened. I believe you guys.” There was a knowing twinkle in his eyes as he glanced at Anton. “Maybe just try not to get lost next time.”
You stretched your arms above your head and yawned. “I think I’m going to call it a night. Later, boys.”
Anton resisted a frown. “Good night. Text me when you get home. So I know you made it back safe.”
Sohee waved. “Just don’t get murdered. I would miss you a little bit.”
You flipped Sohee off, waved at Anton, bid your goodbyes to Shotaro who was lying on the couch, and slipped through the front door.
When you were gone, Sohee wanted to know the truth of it immediately. “So? What really happened? You guys were gone for nearly forty minutes. Did you kiss her?”
Anton rubbed his nape. “We just… talked.”
Sohee was not impressed. “About…?”
The conversation was always replaying in Anton’s head and you had only just left. “She asked me a bunch of questions. About my future, music, if I like kids, that sort of thing.”
“What?” Sohee was beaming. “Dude. You’re serious? She asked you if you like kids? That’s serious.”
Anton felt restless. “Or she was just curious. Just making conversation.” Even he didn’t believe that himself.
“I don’t think women just go around asking guys they just met if they like children for no good reason,” Sohee told him. “What else did she ask you?”
Anton thought about it. “She asked me if I had female friends.”
Sohee seemed thrilled. “Oh, yeah, man. She wants to see if you’re a good, respectful young man.”
For once Anton let himself feel some kind of hope. “I should probably text her.”
“You absolutely should,” Sohee agreed. “Maybe mention the chips, I don’t know. She brought chips. Girls like when you remember shit. It’s the little things.”
That night, Anton lay in bed, thinking way too much on what would be the best thing to say. He typed a message and deleted it. He typed another and deleted that too. “Fuck,” he swore under his breath. What were you doing to him?
anton: hey, i had a good time tn. hope you got home okay. thanks for the chips
He settled for that message and forced himself asleep.
When he woke, there was a new message from you on his screen.
you: hey, sorry. fell asleep. thanks for looking out tho. see u when i see ya 😝
Anton must have read the text ten times before he realized he needed to start his day.
A party at some dude named Tyler’s house, ANTON POV, 9:42 PM
Normally Anton would have rather been home, but any chance at seeing you was a chance he was willing to take.
Tyler Rockwell threw parties like it was his life’s calling and absolute duty, nearly every weekend without fail. His parties were open to whoever wanted to show and his friends were always coming up with innovative ways to risk a visit to the emergency room. Anton preferred Shotaro’s parties. Shotaro was picky with his guest list, which meant the size was bound to be more intimate, and they shared a social circle to an extent. A smaller crowd with more familiar faces was easier for him. Usually at parties like this one he stuck to who he knew until he got bored or drunk and wanted to go home.
Around him the music was booming so aggressively he could feel it beneath his shoes and in his bones. A few people bumped into him wordlessly as they passed by, and he could hardly be mad at them when everyone in the room was standing shoulder to shoulder. Gingerly he wove through them in the sparse spaces where the throng of bodies broke up, passing a bundle of tipsy partygoers playing beer pong and a pair of freshmen smoking in a corner. He saw Shotaro in the kitchen laughing with one of his dance crewmates; Eunseok dueling someone on the couch; and Sohee flirting with that Zoe girl he was crushing on.
When he finally laid eyes on you after minutes of ceaseless searching, you were standing by the patio doors talking to a guy Anton had never seen before. He was tall, maybe even taller than Anton, brown of hair, and standing close enough to you that it made Anton’s chest tighten.
Shotaro came up beside him. “Anton, you made it.”
He wished he hadn’t. “Who’s that?” he asked, gesturing over to where you were laughing with another guy.
Shotaro let his eyes be directed there. “Oh, that’s Mason. Mason Mooney. He’s a friend of Tyler’s. Smooth talker.” His voice was not fond. “Are you just curious or are you asking because you’re jealous?”
Anton tried to play it cool. “I’m not jealous. She can talk to whoever she wants.”
Shotaro was unconvinced. “Yeah. Sure.” He took a sip of his drink. “Mason’s a real flirt. Not really the kind of guy she’s into. She’ll probably get bored of him before the night’s over with. I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it.”
“I’m not—I don’t care about that,” Anton insisted.
Shotaro snickered. “Okay. You don’t care about that. I’m gonna go grab another drink. You want one?”
When Anton shook his head, Shotaro clapped him on the shoulder and disappeared into the crowd. You were the whole reason he had even come to this party and now he was here for nothing. Maybe he would go back out and spend the night patrolling. He would need to be clearheaded if he did that.
And yet he hardly moved from that spot. His eyes were fixed on you and this Mason guy he had never heard of until now who was making you laugh in the middle of a party where any guy would surely have loved to talk to you. Anton knew he would have. Lately he had been thinking about you and the exchange you’d had up there on Sohee’s rooftop, no one privy to your conversation but the moon and the streets below. It was all he could think about.
Walk away, he told himself, don’t be that guy. Anton almost did turn and head out where he came in. But then he saw Mason gesture towards the stairs. He saw you take Mason’s hand and follow him up.
Against his better judgment, Anton slipped through everyone in the crowd and trailed behind far enough to go undetected. When you disappeared up the stairs, he stayed at the bottom, just within earshot.
“I’ve been waiting to do this all night,” came Mason’s voice in the upper hall.
He heard your voice only a couple of seconds later. “You mean a chance to get me alone?”
“You make it sound so wrong,” Mason was saying. “Is it a crime if I want to be alone with a beautiful woman?”
“Mmmm. No. But you do know I have options, right?”
Mason let out a breathy laugh. “Looking like that, I don’t doubt it,” he said, “but you’re not with your other options. You’re with me. What’s that tell you? ‘Cause I know what it’s telling me.”
“Tells me that I’m a little curious,” you said. “What do you like about me anyway?”
Anton felt his heart thundering.
“I like that you keep me on my toes,” Mason replied smoothly. “Never know what’s gonna come out of your mouth next. I like that you say what’s on your mind. I like that you know you could have anyone in this party, but you’re standing right here with me.” There was a lull of silence where Anton could hear nothing but the two of you breathing. “So, what’s it gonna take for you to give me a chance? A drink? A walk? Another party?”
You chuckled. “I don’t know. I feel like you just want to fuck me.”
“Well, I wouldn’t be opposed,” Mason admitted, “but that’s not the only reason I’m talking to you. I like you. I like your attitude. I like your style. I like that pretty little smile. See, there it is. Look at that smile. Gorgeous.”
Anton heard you giggling. “Let’s just go in here and talk, yeah?”
“Okay. I can talk.”
A door opened and shut. Anton stood frozen at the foot of the stairs before he willed himself to turn away. It’s her life. She’s a grown woman. She can talk to whoever she wants.
He made his way to the front door and slipped back out into the night, perching on the steps. The night was a bleak thing around him, a starless sky straggling far and wide for miles. From here the party was trapped behind the threshold, struggling against the door, resisting its walls, threatening to burst into the streets.
Anton thought about the rooftop: the shared chips, the way you made his name sound grand and monumental, the way he had let himself hope that you might want him the way he wanted you. Then, he thought about Mason, who had seemed so confident and sure of himself, the kind of guy who got any girl he wanted. He didn’t know if he could compete with that.
Behind him the door creaked open, some of the chaos from inside spilling out for a moment. Anton did not turn around, but he recognized Sohee’s footsteps when he heard them. Sohee settled down beside him. “Shotaro saw you leave. Said you looked gloomy. I thought I’d come out and check on you.”
Anton didn’t meet Sohee’s eyes. “Just getting some air.”
Sohee didn’t respond immediately. “She went upstairs with Mason. You know that doesn’t mean shit, right? Plus she can hang out with whoever she wants.”
“I know.” Anton had been reminding himself that much repeatedly.
“Then, what’s going on up there, bro?”
Anton released a weary breath. “I don’t know. It’s just… that night on the rooftop, everything felt… legit, you know? Like it could really be something. And now she’s over here laughing with some other guy that’s smooth and charming…”
Sohee didn’t let him finish. “Hey, man. What Mason has doesn’t take away from who you are. You’re a cool dude. I don’t think she would have spent nearly an hour talking to you up there if she didn’t think you were at least a little interesting.”
“I guess you’re right,” Anton conceded.
“Of course, I am,” Sohee said, grinning. “You wanna get out of here? This party’s a joke anyway.”
“Yeah.” Anton stood up. They descended the stairs. “What about that girl you were talking to, though?”
“Zoe?” Sohee rubbed his nape. “Let’s just talk about you and yours, man.”
“No, no, no, no, no,” Anton said. “You’re always interfering with my love life. It’s only fair I get to hear about yours.”
Sohee groaned. “It’s complicated, dude.”
Anton shrugged. “We’ve got a long walk. I’m all ears.”
The campus courtyard, ANTON POV, 12:01 PM
This time Anton hadn’t meant to pry. He was in the courtyard waiting for Sohee when your voice, lovely as ever, filled his ears. When he looked up he saw you walking between your friends Willow and Krystal, using your hands like they were scales. He caught the tail end of your words. “Ugh. I should just make them duel or something. That’s probably what men did in the Middle Ages. Fight to the death.”
You rolled your eyes. “Okay. Fine. Rock paper scissors, best of three.”
Less than an hour later, you, Shotaro, Sohee and Anton were gathered around a bench. Anton had expected you to sit beside Sohee or Shotaro as you most often did… so it stunned him when you stole Sohee’s spot beside him before he could settle down.
Oh. Okay. That’s not weird, Anton told himself. “Hey,” he said.
“Hi, Anton,” you greeted with a sweet smile. You glanced down at his hands. His knuckles were red. Your brows furrowed. “You okay? What happened to your hands?”
Anton looked at his own hands. Last night he had taken on a group of crooks making trouble downtown, and earned a few scratches for his work, but that was nothing he could mention to you. “No, I’m—I’m good. Just went a little too hard in the gym, I think.”
You seemed to accept his lie. “Oh, okay. You should be more careful.”
A strange feeling blossomed throughout his chest. He smiled. “Yeah. I should. Thanks for being worried.”
“Do you want to come to my place later?”
Everyone’s heads turned. Sohee nearly broke his neck. Shotaro’s coffee cup had been halfway to his lips when he paused. And Anton felt his heart stop. “Your place?” he repeated, blinking. “Tonight?”
“Well, yeah,” you said as if it were no big deal. “Why not? Are you busy?”
“No,” Anton said much too fast. “No. I think I have time, I’m pretty sure. What time should I come over?”
“Is seven okay?”
“Seven. Yeah. I’ll be there.”
You grinned. “Great. Do you like Mexican food? There’s a restaurant down the block from my place. I can order some so it’s ready when you get there.”
“Yeah, I’m not a picky eater,” Anton said.
“Alright. I’ll text you the menu. Just let me know what you want.”
“I’ll pay you back later, then.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“Still.”
“Just focus on getting there.”
Anton’s heart fluttered. “Yes, ma’am.”
Your apartment, ANTON POV, 6:58 PM
He was at the door before seven. An entire ten minutes early, in truth, but he’d circled around with a stammering heart until he felt it was appropriate for him to approach. The door swung open a few moments after he rang the doorbell. You stood there with a radiant smile that did nothing to soothe that incessant tremor.
“Anton! Come in. Did you bring me a gift?” You sounded so happy to see him. He wondered if you were this happy with Mason too.
Anton shut the door behind himself and raised the bag in his right hand. “I just brought chips.” He almost hadn’t. He had stood in the middle of the chip aisle in the bodega for a few minutes longer than he should have, going back and forth with himself in his head, afraid that you’d think it was too cheesy; but he could not show up empty-handed, and so he paid for them anyway.
“My favorite chips,” you said, leading him to a wooden table. It was small, but enough for two, and the food was already separated and plated. “That’s very sweet.”
Anton shook his head, silently denying it. He took a glimpse at your apartment and was suddenly grateful that you had let him step into your world. A bookshelf in the living room stood out, tall and brimming with novels, most of which he didn’t recognize. You had an unfolded blanket on the couch and something was playing on the television although it was muted. “You have a nice place.”
“It’s alright,” you said, settling down. “It’s not fancy, but it’s mine.”
It’s fancy because it’s yours, Anton thought, and he was reminded of that night at Shotaro’s party again when you came in wearing a tank top and jeans. “Yeah. It’s yours. And I appreciate you inviting me into your space.” He took his seat in front of you. “I’ve been looking forward to this all day, actually.”
He saw your eyes flicker. “Really?”
“Is that surprising?”
“I’m just surprised you said it out loud,” you told him.
“I’m surprised too,” Anton admitted, chuckling timidly. He briefly avoided your eyes. “But you deserve to know the truth.”
“You deserve to know the truth too,” you said. “I heard you saw me with Mason.”
Anton took a second to find his voice. “I mean, I did. Yeah. But that’s your business.”
You looked thoughtful. “I just feel like we should talk about it. I don’t want you to feel like I’m leading you on or something.”
“I don’t feel that way,” he whispered. “I mean, honestly, I didn’t love seeing you with him, I can admit that. But it’s your life. I do like you, like, a lot, and I’d be happy if this maybe went somewhere, but that’s your choice to make.”
“I don’t think I like Mason that much anyway,” you confessed. “He’s… nice, but I don’t know. My gut keeps telling me there’s something off about him.” Your voice was soft, tender. Anton didn’t feel deserving of it. “I don’t feel that way around you. I feel like what I see is what I get.”
A profound guilt shot through him and made his body twitch. He wished he could tell you the truth, but he knew that it was far too soon to give his secret away. He decided to tell you what little truth he could for now. “Can I tell you something bad?” he asked quietly.
Your eyes were curious. “What’s up?”
“I was eavesdropping. When you were talking to Mason in the hallway. I know that was wrong of me and I’m not gonna defend that choice. I just thought you should know.” He looked down at his food. The confession was a small thing in the grand scheme of his secrets, but no less important. He wished he would have told you sooner.
“Oh.” You scratched your head. “Thanks for telling me.”
“Are you mad at me?” He had to ask.
“Mad? No,” you said. “I mean, that’s a little weird. But not unforgivable. So it’s fine.”
Anton felt embarrassed. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure, Anton.” When you reached for his hand, he thought his life was over. “And what I was trying to say is: I won’t be seeing Mason anymore. I just want to explore what this is with you. So, you don’t need to get all jealous anymore, okay?”
“I wasn’t…” The lie died in his throat, knowing it was hopeless, and he laughed at himself. “Okay. I was a little jealous. Sue me.”
You giggled. “Okay, let’s eat. I wanna see if you still like me after watching me demolish this burrito. I’m not gonna pretend to be ladylike.”
I like that about you, he thought. That you don’t pretend. You’re just unabashedly yourself. “I don’t think you being yourself will make me change my mind about you.”
He felt like an idiot saying that, until he saw how your smile bloomed wide across your face. “Tell me more about yourself.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
He thought about it as he chewed his food. “I love music. I played cello in high school. I’m alright with piano. I started learning when I was a kid but dropped it. I’m good with bass and guitar too. I like movies, especially sci-fi and romance. Cheesy, I know. I’m fascinated by space. I’m allergic to dogs. I like dinosaurs. I hate crowds, so most parties are hell for me. What about you? You said you like writing? I noticed your bookshelf when I came in.”
You glanced back at it. “I love writing. I think a part of it comes from the fact that a lot of the things I’d love to read don’t exist yet. So I make them myself.”
“I get that,” Anton said. “Sometimes I make my own songs because there’s not one that captures the exact feeling I’m going through. What are you into?”
“I’m mostly a fantasy girl, but I’ll probably read any kind of fiction besides romance. I read nonfiction as well, I think it’s important to stay balanced.”
“What’s wrong with romance?”
“I adore romance as a subplot,” you told him, “but I don’t like when the entire book is about that, you know? Romance is a beautiful, human thing, but it shouldn’t consume everything else. I appreciate books that leave room for every aspect of life.”
Anton nodded slowly. “That makes sense.” He was wondering how he would manage that himself—his feelings for you, and the secret identity that meant one way or another, he would always have to lie to you.
Conversation was an easy thing in your company. Anton talked at length about his family, his favorite movies, the things he wanted to do in the future, the places he wanted to see. What he found was that the two of you had a great deal in common. You even exchanged book recommendations (which delighted Anton, who had been wanting to take advantage of his free time to read more lately).
Within the hour his belly was full and his heart was quiet and at ease. There were a few lingering nerves, but he hardly noticed them at all. He was too focused on you. Everything he learned about you only made him like you more, and he liked it for no reason other than that it was yours.
Then you led him to the couch. It was dim there. Now that the kitchen lights were turned off, only the blue hue of the television kept them from being thrust into sheer blackness. When he settled beside you, you asked, “Can I kiss you?”
For once Anton could believe that he wasn’t dreaming. “You can kiss me as much as you want.”
You took that response seriously. When your lips came down against his, they pulled away only to breathe. At first it was a gentle thing, a way of testing the waters. Very quickly you discovered the water was fine, and from there it was all passion and touching and desire.
Anton was not totally inexperienced—he had kissed women before, and slept with a woman before, and he had thoroughly enjoyed it—but the moment you settled onto his lap all his sense went out the window and he felt like a clueless virgin. What was new was that he had never felt the way he did about you for anyone.
Your lips were like warm feathers against his neck. Anton sucked in a breath when he felt them there. They advanced in a downward climb that made him shudder without the knowing of what you might do next. He was willing to surrender himself to you in all the ways he could to make up for the ways he could not.
While this was happening, you must have decided you wanted to kill him, because soon he felt the grind of your body as you pressed yourself against him. He said your name. “That’s…”
You pulled away only barely. It was still too far. “It’s what? Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” Anton blurted, “no, no. I don’t want you to stop. I just… do you know what you’re doing?”
That amused you. “I’m kissing you and grinding against your dick.”
The vulgarity made him flinch, but he supposed he’d liked that you didn’t mince your words. “Right. Yeah. That was a stupid question.”
“Did you mean do I know what I’m doing to you?” you asked with a teasing smile, and pressed yourself against him again. “I have a pretty good idea.” You reached down to squeeze him through his pants. “I didn’t realize you were the type to get hard from just a little bit of kissing and grinding.”
“It helps that it’s you,” he murmured.
“Do you have a soft spot for me, then?” you asked. “Or a hard one, rather?” You squeezed him again.
Anton groaned. “You already know the answer to that.”
“Okay. I have another question.”
“Yeah?”
“Can I suck your dick?”
Anton felt his brain short-circuit. She’s serious. “Yeah. If you want to. I mean, I guess you want to because you asked, but…”
You pressed your index finger against his lips. “Shhh.”
Anton was not going to defy a beautiful woman sitting on his lap and offering to suck him off. He simply nodded his head.
You maneuvered yourself beside him and tugged at his pants and underwear only enough to free his cock. It came up hard and tall and aching. In his mind Anton was begging for you to touch him, and in reality soon enough if you made him wait any longer. He was not too proud. “Wow,” you said, impressed. “You’re pretty big.”
“You think so?”
“Mmhm.” You reached for him, his tip slick with precum, and spread it along his shaft.
Anton tipped his head back against the sofa and let you have control. In that moment he would have let you do almost anything you liked. He was just grateful you were even touching him at all. When he came here he hadn’t imagined he’d end up on your sofa with his dick in your palm.
Your hand teased him up and down in a tight stroke that only made his need grow fiercer than ever. Anton’s breath was heavy on his own ears, and so was his heart’s thudding. He wondered if you heard him the way he heard himself, but you said nothing of it, thoroughly fixated on his length.
When at last you took the head into your mouth, Anton could no longer think, and it did him little good to try. Holy shit. It had been a while since he had been touched by a hand other than his own, and even longer since he felt a mouth there. Yours was supreme. He knew some of his feelings were partial, but that didn’t matter. You were here, and you were real, and you were sucking him, and his mind was reeling, and…
You took him deeper. “Fuck,” he swore out loud. He watched the descent with his own eyes, but the only thing that kept him from believing he was imagining it was that the warmth of your mouth around him and the press of your tongue against his shaft was not something even his most wild dream could fabricate. More than once he had thought about what it would feel like to have your skin on his, a sweet fantasy of you wanting him, craving him, your body warm and trembling and aching for him, and those images in his head were bronze beside your golden touch.
Anton held your hair away from your face, mostly because it was the very least he could do when you were already giving him such a wonderful gift, and partly because he wanted to see you the best he could. He had always found you beautiful. You were no less beautiful now, and he was fascinated by the way you took him in, the way your soft lips sealed around him, the way you would look into his eyes for longer than he could endure without tearing his gaze away. He knew you liked that; he could feel your amusement in the small tremor of your mouth. He didn’t mind, either. Anton knew he was a mess, but he was a mess for you.
If a month someone would have told him that this would be happening, he would never have believed it. The girls of his dreams who unraveled him with a glance inviting him into her home and sucking his cock without prompting. What a wet fantasy come true. He felt indebted and eager to repay the favor. I will, if she lets me. He would feel guilty if he let you walk away from this without making you feel even a fraction of the delights you were giving him now.
Though it was hard to think about that. Every time his thoughts pushed him astray for a few seconds at most, your tongue pulled him back into nothing but you. You grounded him with your touch, not only the wet feel of your mouth, but the way your hand was braced on his thigh and your cheek grazed him. It was a good thing for him. His mind was not naturally a quiet place. At times this did him more harm than not, and it felt freeing, like swinging across the city but infinitely better.
Anton said your name again. “Please, don’t stop.” He was close to the finish, sooner than he would have liked to be, but he never had grand expectations for himself.
You did not stop. In fact, he felt you suck him even faster, and from there Anton lost his mind. Time didn’t feel real. More than that he stopped being concerned with his concept of it altogether. All he knew was that one second you were surely trying to suck him out of a soul, and the next his hips were alive with a mind of their own and his cum was in your mouth.
What really did it for him was watching you swallow. “You…”
You pulled away, licking your lips. “I…?”
He had no words. I think I’m in love. Or that I’ve died and this is heaven. Maybe both. “Thank you,” he said after a moment. “Let me return the favor,” he added after a little longer. “Please.”
That was how Anton wound up on his knees, settled between your legs. At first he did nothing but stare, mesmerized by how gorgeous you were, wet and slick and soft, but then he felt weird about openly gawking at your vagina and raked his fingers through your folds instead. He saw your lips part silently.
Anton didn’t start hastily. He was gentle as ever, pressing kisses to your cunt and the skin around it. When that was through he began licking, and then sucking, and he observed your body closely. This was something he had to get right.
Here and there you told him what to do, and Anton was more than happy to oblige you if it meant you would be satisfied. In fact he appreciated that you knew exactly what you wanted from him. It left no room for guesswork. “Like that,” you said. You sighed softly.
Now was not the time to ask, but Anton wondered if you had ever imagined him before, if you had ever closed your eyes at night and pictured his hands on your body and how they might fit around you, if you had ever imagined what he looked like beneath his clothes. He was still wrapping his head around the fact that you wanted him at all. And that you had given him a mind-numbing blowjob that led to an orgasm that he could still feel remnants of.
You deserved to feel that good too, he thought. Perhaps even better. By the end of it he wanted to see you shuddering and swearing with all the ecstasy your body could handle at once. He wasn’t sure if that would be enough, even then. He might have had to do it twice. Or three times. He was not opposed…
“You’re doing so good, baby,” you told him breathlessly.
Anton felt his own breath still. “You can’t just call me that.”
“Why? You like it?”
“Too much,” he muttered.
You grinned mischievously. “Don’t stop, baby. I like your mouth so much…”
Fuck. If she keeps this up I’m gonna get hard again. But he tried not to think about himself for now. You had told him not to stop, and he was determined not to until he had made you come on his tongue.
Anton was hungry for it. The more he thought about it the more he wanted it. He wanted to see you surrender to his mouth, he wanted to feel your body yield to him. He wanted to know what effect he could have on you, and if it was anything like the one you had on him. He was a curious person by nature, that had always been true.
Soon he was introducing his fingers. You gasped when he slid them inside you with ease. You were so wet, so ready. For only a few seconds he let himself imagine what it would feel like to fill you with his cock… but only for a few seconds, and then he banished that thought. Anton had been told before that he had big hands and long fingers, and he was intent on making good use of them.
“Feel okay?” he asked as he curled his fingers inside.
Your hips arched into his hand, which was an answer of its own. “Mmhm.”
He pressed the heel of his free hand down just shy of your stomach while his other hand stroked you with his fingers. He could feel you gushing and tightening around his digits, the need burning within you, bringing you closer and closer. Your eyes fluttered shut and you were making the prettiest sounds he had ever heard.
It occurred to him then, with the end drawing near, that he almost didn’t want this to be over. Or he wished he had some way of reliving it again at least. But he let himself be present. He would not get this first moment again, so he could not let it go to waste.
Finally you had taken all you could and your pussy seized his fingers tight when you reached your climax. “Oh, fuck, fuck,” you cursed. His mouth stayed on you through it, and he grabbed your thigh with one hand, and felt it twitching. His eyes never left you as you came for him. He wanted to keep that image there in his mind forever.
When it was done and you were slack and panting, he withdrew his fingers and reached for your cheek. “You okay?” he asked.
Your eyes were fluttering. “I’m marvelous.”
Anton grinned.
“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
He had to learn to stop being surprised by you. “Already?”
“Should we slow down?” you asked.
Anton considered it. “Probably,” he said, “but if you want me to be your boyfriend, I won’t say no.”
“I want you to be my boyfriend.”
I can’t believe this whole day has been real. Anton’s smile was uncontrollably wide, and it was all for you. “Okay. Then, I’m your boyfriend. And you’re my girlfriend.”
No specific location or time, ANTON POV
After you became his girlfriend, Anton felt that every other problem he’d ever had was of little consequence. That was not to say that he neglected his responsibilities, but he began to approach the world with an optimism that surprised even himself.
His friends noticed it, but they did not question him, mostly because they already knew the cause of it. What they did do was tease the hell out of him. When he came to them with the news, everyone was happy for him and supportive of the new pairing. Sohee in particular was amazed by how hastily Anton had managed to make you his girlfriend (Anton himself seldom believed it), but he had always been confident in him, more than Anton had been in himself.
It was important to him that he was a good boyfriend. You still made his stomach swim painfully, but he was intent on keeping you around so that the likes of Mason Mooney didn’t get their hands on you. He wanted you to be as happy around him as he was around you. Anton took you on dates when he had the time for it, and sometimes when he did not have the time for it he made time. He was more reckless with his money than proper, but he could afford it. Anything to see you smile. What he loved most of all was fostering the connection between you. With every date he learned more about the kind of person you were and he fell even deeper for her.
It was Sohee that told him one day, You’re a goner, man. Every day, every week, every second, it was even more true.
One day he was out patrolling the city when from behind him came a voice he had come to despise. “Hello, Anton.”
He froze. Anton. He had called him Anton, not Spider-Man. Slowly he turned around. “Who are you?”
Mind Man stood there in his purple-and-yellow suit. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” He laughed. “You look afraid. Are you, Anton? Afraid?”
Anton willed himself to remain calm, but there was no way that anyone other than Sohee could have known his identity. He frequently underwent several annoying measures to maintain his anonymity. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. Maybe Mind Man was bluffing. Maybe he was merely testing him.
Mind Man tilted his head. “But I think you do. You’re Anton Lee. Boston born, New York raised. You have a little brother that you love with your whole heart. You’ve been surrounded by music your whole life. You were a swimmer in high school. You read books about space. You like going to the movies. You have that little girlfriend of yours that you’ve been crushing on for months. Sohee Lee is your best friend and the only person who knows that you’re Spider-Man, other than me, of course. Should I go on?”
Anton felt paralyzed. “What do you want?”
“I’m glad you asked, Anton,” Mind Man said. “I want to understand you. I want to get inside your head. You’re the only person I can’t control. So if I can’t get to you from the inside, I’ll get in from the outside.”
Anton wished he understood what he meant, but it sounded like a threat. “If you touch any of my friends, my family…”
Mind’s Man laughter cut him off. “What will you do if I touch your friends and family, Anton? Web me to a wall?” He stepped closer, as if urging Anton to give it a try. “Who’s to say I already haven’t?”
Anton reached for him, but Mind Man leapt away.
“Not so fast, spider,” taunted Mind Man. “Are you going to hurt an innocent man? What if I haven’t done anything? Would that sit right with your conscience?”
“You’ve done enough,” Anton reminded. “You’ve terrorized this city with your plots.” Mind Man was behind some of the more elaborate crimes Anton had dealt with, or at the very least he was always involved in them. Anton remembered one time someone had set up a false alarm on one side of town while a robbery took place on the opposite end. When he finally got there, some of the damage was catastrophic, and Mind Man delayed him even more. He’d felt a terrible guilt that day for the lives that had been expended, that he had not saved.
“The only terror is you,” Mind Man spat. “What good do you think you’re doing for this city, really? For every crook you catch, there’s ten more like him. You give the people hope, but nothing will ever change. Why make them believe in a reality that will never be true?”
Anton gestured around. “In case you haven’t noticed, the crime rates are down. I can’t stop every single bad guy, sure, but the ones I can, that makes a difference. Don’t act like it doesn’t.”
“But it’s true. There’s a great deal of people interested in Spider-Man, and they’re not all just novice lowlifes.” With that, Mind Man went off into the night.
Anton didn’t follow. He knew it would be useless. But he felt a terrible dread rousing within him, a dread of something without a name. He could not know what was to happen.
For a while he stood there alone, wondering if he truly was enough for this wondrous city, if perhaps all his efforts would one day be in vain, if nothing was certain but that he’d endangered those he loved… No. He’s trying to get into my head. That’s what he does. And while true, Mind Man was never one to be idle. His words were meant to confuse, to stifle, but there was always a hint of truth to them one way or another.
Building up to the party at Tyler’s house, ANTON POV, 9:10 PM
Anton was afraid that the honeymoon phase was already over, but he could not think of any other way to rationalize your behavior.
You were not only quiet but uncharacteristically standoffish. The first time you bailed on a plan last minute, Anton thought nothing of it. Things could come up unexpectedly, he knew that all too well. But then it became a frequent problem. When you did finally show to one of the hangouts, you hardly engaged with the others, mostly on your phone or giving curt responses.
He had sat beside you on Sohee’s couch, trying to get you to speak to him. “Hey.”
You hardly looked at him. “Hey.”
Anton felt his chest tightening. He wracked his brain for something to say. “You got a new bracelet,” he pointed out. “That’s cool. Where’d you get it from?”
You glimpsed at the purple bracelet on your arm. “Krystal,” was all you said.
“Oh, cool.”
It got to the point that Sohee had pulled him aside and asked, “Did you guys get into a fight?”
“No,” Anton had told him, because it was the truth. He hadn’t remembered doing anything wrong either. One day, you were this exuberant person that was always smiling in his company, and now you wanted little to do with him, or anyone for that matter.
Friday night was the final nail in the coffin. When Anton texted you to ask if you were coming, you told him, very bluntly: “no.” He almost didn’t come himself, but Sohee and Shotaro insisted that being alone right now would do him no good.
Which was why he found it strange that the second he made it into the hallway, they immediately came up to him, as if they had been waiting. “Hey, man,” Sohee said, clasping a hand on his shoulder. “You want a drink? Tyler’s got some crazy shit in the kitchen. You got to try it.” He started to steer him towards the kitchen.
Shotaro’s face was tight with thinly veined anger, but he encouraged it. “Yeah, come on. I want to see your face when you drink it.”
Anton knew something was wrong. “What’s going on?” he asked forthrightly. He pried Sohee’s hand away. “You guys would normally already be doing your own thing by now.”
Shotaro and Sohee exchanged glances. Neither of them said a word.
“I’m not going to the kitchen,” he said, and went to the main room.
He almost immediately wished he hadn’t.
There you were, in Mason’s arms, kissing him and smiling like you hadn’t with Anton in seven days. You knew he would be here. You knew Sohee and Shotaro would be here. But you made no attempt to hide it, existing in your own world where it was just you and Mason.
He could have gone over. He was angry enough. He could have lashed out, and he might have even been justified in it, but he let you have that world. If this was your choice, if this was what you wanted all along, then so be it. He just wished you would have said that from the beginning.
“Anton,” Sohee started, coming up beside him.
“You weren’t going to tell me?” Anton asked, finally tearing his eyes away from the sight that was making his heart wrench.
“We were,” Sohee said, “but we didn’t want you to see it.”
They were trying to protect him. Anton could understand that. But he was not sure if he could believe it otherwise. You had been different lately, there was no doubt, but he’d hoped time and space would bring you back to normal. “Well, I saw it,” he said, and turned for the door.
Sohee followed him out. “Anton, wait. Shotaro’s going to talk to her. I don’t know what’s going on. She’s not usually like this. She’s not this kind of person.”
The night felt cooler on his shoulders than it had before he came in only a few minutes ago. “Doesn’t matter what she’s usually like. She did what she did.” His voice was flat. “I’m going home. Or maybe I’ll just patrol instead. The city still needs me, even if she doesn’t.”
“Okay,” Sohee said. He sighed. “Just don’t shut me out.”
Anton nodded. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” Both of them turned and walked opposite directions, Sohee back into the chaos, and Anton wherever his feet led him.
He didn’t go straight home. For a while Anton ambled around aimlessly, his hands in his pockets, his mind racing. It made no sense to him. You had told him that you wanted him, that Mason felt wrong. Then, you turned around and kissed him at a party with dozens of people as witnesses. There was no reason to do that unless you wanted to hurt him, and he had no idea what he could have done to deserve something so needlessly cruel.
It had hurt him. Anton may not have been wearing it on his face beyond some tautness and glowering, but he felt it deep in his chest, a crushing throb that ached without end. He had let himself have hope and dared to be honest about his feelings, and that had taken great strength. To think that it was for nothing, only to be taunted in the middle of some party… he felt like a fool. He should have seen it, but even as he looked back he couldn’t determine what might have prompted the shift, only that a shift did happen, and it did so abruptly.
You had seemed more than content with him. Anton might have let himself wonder if he’d made it up, if he had been seeing your happiness because that was what he wanted to see, but the others had noticed it too. They had teased him ruthlessly and asked if he had perhaps done some sort of sorcery. There was no way none of that hadn’t been real, or at least so he had thought. But everything changed when you became distant, and now you were in another man’s arms, and no one could make sense of it, not even his friends.
Maybe he should have approached you and asked you himself. It would have been one thing if you changed your mind after being with him and decided he wasn’t the right fit. Anton would have been hurt, but not so hurt as he was now. You chose to do it in the most brutal way imagined.
When he did finally make it home, he spent hours trying to sleep, but his mind would not grant him that peace. He sighed and got up to don his suit, and went out the window. There’s always crime to fight.
Even after he caught criminals, Mind Man’s words rang out in his head like a mantra. He sat down on the ledge of a rooftop and started to wonder if he was doing any good for this city. There were many people he had saved, he knew that, but it also seemed that he attracted more danger with the name Spider-Man alone. There were people out there that were willing to jeopardize entire boroughs if it meant getting their hands on him. He glanced down at the raging city beneath him, full of people, of history, of life, of pain, of joy, of opportunity. Maybe they would be better off without him.
“Lose your girlfriend, Anton?”
Anton sighed. As if tonight could get no worse. “Mind Man,” he said coolly, “it looks like you’re keeping tabs on me. I’m flattered.”
Mind Man snickered. “I am curious about you, after all.”
No shit, Anton thought. “Yeah, I’m starting to get that. Do you want to date me instead or something? Because I have to admit, this is getting kind of creepy. You know a lot about me, and I don’t even know your real name.”
“Isn’t that what makes this fun?”
“You know, when most people want to have fun, they play games or hang out with friends or get a hobby.”
“Aren’t we friends by now?”
“Not a chance.”
“That cut me, really,” Mind Man said. “Almost as much as your girlfriend cheating on you must have hurt you. I mean, damn. Didn’t you guys just get together two weeks ago? That’s gotta sting. Did you bore her that bad with your moral righteousness?”
“Cut it out,” Anton warned. “You don’t know her. You don’t know why she did it.”
“I don’t need to know her,” Mind Man insisted. “I just need to know you.”
That was the part that made him anxious. Mind Man knew too much about him. No one could have known about you kissing another man unless they were in the room when it happened. If this guy is someone I know... “Who are you, seriously?” Anton asked.
“The mystery kills you, doesn’t it? Who is Mind Man? What did you do wrong? Why did she do that? Was it something you said?”
Anton stood up. “I asked you a question.”
Ignoring him, Mind Man continued, “When will you face the truth? You’re not as important as you think you are. All it takes is one little accident before Spider-Man goes buh-bye. The world might mourn him, but will they mourn Anton? I know your girlfriend won’t.”
“You won’t get rid of me that easily,” Anton told him. He was pushing the right buttons, but Anton couldn’t give him the satisfaction of a victory.
“Maybe I can’t get rid of you. But I can get rid of her.”
Anton’s hand acted before he even knew it. He grabbed Mind Man by the arm. “That’s your second time threatening people in my life. I’m not going to let it slide a third time.”
Mind Man laughed. “Have a good night, Anton.” He wrested his arm away and vanished.
Anton stood there, picturing you at the party tonight, kissing Mason Mooney. As badly as you had wounded him, there was no part of him that was going to let Mind Man hurt you. Not now. Not ever.
The campus library, ANTON POV, 2:12 PM
Anton was in the middle of perfecting a melody when he heard footsteps stopping in front of him.
Before him stood Krystal, a close friend of yours. After the night of the party, you had stopped hanging with the boys altogether. The only time he saw you was when you were with Krystal and Willow or Mason. None of his texts had gone through when he tried to reach out to you, and the boys had said the same was true for them.
“Hey, Krystal,” Anton said cautiously. “Is there something I can do for you?”
Krystal glanced around. “I need to talk to you about ____.”
Anton was stiff. “What about her?”
“I know you’re upset with her because of what happened at the party, and you should be. What she did was wrong. But it was super unlike her. I think something’s seriously wrong with her. She’s been acting like an entirely different person. When you guys got together, she was telling us how much she liked you and how Mason gave her bad vibes, and now he’s all she talks about.”
Anton’s brows furrowed. “Really?”
“Yes,” she said. “Not that long ago, she was normal. And then she was aloof. And, like, a week before the party, Mason gave her this bracelet and she’s been weird ever since. I asked her when she was going to finish A Feast for Crows. She said she doesn’t read fantasy. Willow got her barbecue chips. She said she prefers salt and vinegar.”
“What?” Anton was flabbergasted. “Wait a minute. A bracelet. You mean the purple bracelet she’s been wearing?”
“Yeah. That one.”
Anton was quiet for a moment. “She told me that you gave that to her.”
She looked bemused. “No? She just showed up wearing it one day and said Mason had given it to her.”
“A week before the party?”
“Yeah. Why?”
Motherfucker. Anton shot up in a hurry. “I gotta go. Thanks for telling me this, you have no idea how helpful that is. Bye!” He gathered his things and scurried out.
How could I have been so blind? Anton thought as he ran through the courtyard. It was all right there in his face the whole time. I want to get inside your head. You’re the only person I can’t control. So if I can’t get to you from the inside, I’ll get in from the outside. That was what Mind Man had told him. At first it made no sense to him. But Mind Man always seemed to know a great deal about his life, and he knew about the party. Which would only make sense if he was there himself.
And he was there, holding you, kissing you where he knew Anton would see. He was Mason Mooney.
Anton went straight to your apartment. He was drenched in sweat by the time he got there, but he had to do something. He couldn’t just sit around knowing what he knew. In your bedroom there was a window you kept open. He slipped in through there and crept inside. You were sitting on the couch, watching some show.
Anton stepped forward and said your name. “It’s me.”
You jolted. “What the fuck?”
Anton held up his hands. “Listen, I know how this looks, but I need you to listen to me. That bracelet Mason gave you, I need you to take it off.”
“Absolutely not,” you said. “I love this bracelet!”
Anton was cautious. “It’s a gorgeous bracelet, I can see why you would love it. But can you take it off for just a minute? Please?”
“Stay away from me! I don’t like you anymore. I like Mason.”
Anton’s felt like there was a rope around his heart. “I know you think that’s how you feel. But it’s not. You told me you wanted to be with me. Remember? You told me you weren’t going to see Mason anymore. This isn’t you.”
“This is who I’ve been all along,” you insisted. “Maybe you’re just not as important as you think you are.”
Those were Mind Man’s words. Anton remembered them, because they hit him as hard then as they did now. He took a step closer. “That’s what he said. Just before telling me that he can’t get rid of me, but he can get rid of you. Is that the kind of man you want? The kind that will use you to hurt me?”
“Don’t touch me, I’ll scream!”
Anton surrendered. “Okay. Okay. I’m not touching you. But if you want me to leave, you just have to answer a simple question: what kind of food did we eat when you first invited me over?”
“That doesn’t matter,” you spat.
“It does matter,” Anton replied flatly. “It matters because she would remember that. But you don’t know that. You don’t know anything about her because you’re not her.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re playing a dangerous game, Anton.”
It sounded like something Mind Man would say. “Mason put the bracelet on you to turn you against me,” Anton said. “He’s using it to control what you think and how you feel.”
You walked to the window and opened it. “Stop!”
Anton stilled. “I just want you to take the bracelet off.”
“I’ll sooner die,” you told him, and climbed onto the ledge of the open window.
His heart stopped. “Okay. Okay. I’m leaving. Please come down from there.” He walked backwards to the door. But I’m not giving up on you that easily.
You came down from the window and closed it, and turned to watch him with expectant eyes.
Anton left, but that choice was not a concession. He just had to figure out another way to get to you.
A rooftop in the city, ANTON POV, 12:17 AM
For once Anton was looking for Mind Man, but the only problem was that Mind Man usually came to him, or he drew Anton out where he wanted him.
Tonight was going to be different. Mind Man was good at what he did because he studied Anton thoroughly. When Anton finished patrolling for the night, he sat around on a rooftop nearby to gather his bearings before he headed home. Mind Man must have known that and used it to find him every so often.
Anton did the same thing tonight, except this time he was waiting for him.
Like clockwork, Mind Man materialized from behind him and said, “You look very morose, Anton. Want to talk about it?”
“I’m not in the mood for talking,” Anton said, getting up to his feet. “Fight me.”
He could imagine Mind Man’s smile behind his mask. “What happened? Did someone kill a puppy? Did the thieves get away before you web them to a bench in Central Park?” Mind Man cracked his neck. “It’s been a while since our last dance.”
They traded elementary blows at first, as if warming up to something larger. Anton flung himself up into the air and landed on his hands and feet to dodge an attack; Mind Mind sidestepped his strikes effortlessly.
When Mind Man grew bored of it, he opted for something a little more advanced. The blow came at Anton as quick as light. He leapt off the rooftop and swung out onto another one.
Mind Man followed suit. “Trying to get away, Anton?” he asked with amusement.
Anton said nothing. Mind Man came at him hard, throwing up his arms in an attack that might have made his mouth bleed had it landed. Anton rolled away and charged. Mind Man sidestepped him. He grabbed a flower pot and threw it at Anton.
The pot struck his foot. Anton swore underneath his breath, but Mind Man gave him no time to recover. He picked up another pot and launched it at Anton’s head.
Anton scrambled out of its trajectory and threw himself onto another rooftop. He had only one goal, and it was not winning a fight. Still he did not want to get too badly injured. As Mind Man was on him he pulled a chair towards himself with a string of web and hurled it at him.
Mind Man grunted. He went after Anton again. The assaults were relentless. With every blow Mind Man got on him, Anton leapt out onto another building, and another, and another… until they were on top of the building adjacent to yours.
“Recognize this place?” Anton asked. “Mason?”
Mason looked around. He removed his mask and threw it down. “We’re outside her apartment. Was that your grand plan tonight? I’m not very impressed.”
“Take the bracelet off her,” Anton said.
Mason didn’t look the least bit bothered that Anton knew. If anything, it amused him more. “Why would I do that? She’s mine now, Anton. Mind and body. Just accept that it’s over.”
“I’ll never let you break me,” Anton told him in a tone that left no room for uncertainty.
There was a glimmer of satisfaction in Mason’s eyes. “You can think that, but I know you. I know exactly how to break you down. I know what squeezes at your heart like nothing else. Would you like to hear what we’ve been up to? How she kisses me every night? How she says she loves me? How she begs me to fuck her?”
Anton was abhorred. “You piece of shit. You’re taking advantage of her.”
“Advantage?” Mason grinned. “I’m just giving her what she needs, because let’s face it: she doesn’t need you.”
“Get the bracelet off her,” Anton told him again.
“Why? Doesn’t it look beautiful on her? Maybe I should add something else to complement it. A necklace, or a ring. What do you think?”
“I think you’re pathetic,” Anton said with a sharpness that surprised himself. “I think that you have some sick obsession with me. I think you have an amazing power, but the only thing you can think to do with it is force someone to do things you know they would never do otherwise. I think you need me to satisfy your ego because you can’t accept that you don’t like the person you are when you’re not wearing that suit. And the fact that I have a life, that I have people who love me with or without mine, feels like a personal affront.”
Mason’s smile fell. “Watch your mouth, spider.”
The sound of a window drawing open distracted Anton long enough for Mason to strike him in the side. Anton stumbled back, grunting in pain.
You poked your head outside the window. “Mason?”
Mason waved at you. “Hey, babe. Miss me?”
Anton leaned over the rooftop and said your name. “Take the bracelet off. Please.”
“I’m never taking it off. This is my favorite bracelet,” you told him, crossing your arms. “How do you even know my name?”
Anton remembered that he was masked. She doesn’t know who I am. Right now, he wasn’t Anton to you.
Mason laughed. “Do you want to tell her, ‘Spider-Man’, or should I?”
No. She might not listen to me, Mason’s made sure of that. But she might listen to Spider-Man.
“I know things about Mason,” Anton started. “I know what he does to people. He’s been involved in murders, robberies, all those elaborate crimes you see on the news. And that bracelet he gave you, he didn’t give it to you to make you happy. He gave it to you to control your thoughts.”
“What?” Your brows were stitched. “Mason wouldn’t do that. He loves me.”
“Exactly, babe,” Mason agreed. “Don’t listen to this moron. He’s just trying to get in your head. He’s jealous and he can’t stand that you chose me. That bracelet is a gift, a symbol of what we have. You don’t need to take it off for anyone.”
Anton didn’t give up. “Think about it. If it’s just a harmless bracelet, why is he so adamant on you not taking it off? Isn’t that suspicious to you?”
You thought about it. “Mason… are you scared of me taking it off?”
Mason’s confidence was wavering. “Scared? No, baby. That’s ridiculous. I just don’t like seeing you doubt us. He’s putting stuff in your head. You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
Your eyes narrowed. “I’m taking it off for just a second, okay?”
Mason moved to stop you, but before he could even reach the edge of the rooftop, the bracelet was tugged off your wrist. He froze. Anton did too, watching, waiting, his heart racing. Please. Remember…
You stood still, but your eyes changed with a different awareness, and began to water. You looked down at your hands and flexed your fingers. A sigh of relief escaped you. “Oh my god.”
Anton smiled beneath his mask. He could have cried himself.
“No,” Mason said. In a rage, he leapt at your window, grabbed a hold of you, and threw you into the air.
Your scream cut through the night.
Anton moved on nothing but instinct. He dove after you and strung a web around your waist to catch you. When you were secure, he reeled you down onto a fire escape. “You’re okay. You’re okay. I promise.”
You glanced up at him. “Spider-Man?” Your chest was undulating.
“I’ve got you,” Anton whispered, kneeling beside you. “Are you okay?”
Your eyes were wet. “I need… I need to call my boyfriend… and my friends… but this is crazy, they won’t believe me. I was acting so different, but I wasn’t trying to. I couldn’t stop it. It’s like I was possessed or something.”
Anton’s voice was gentle. “They’ll believe you. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He reluctantly lifted his mask. “It’s me.”
Your body went still. “Anton?”
“Yeah,” he murmured. “Mason found out who I was somehow. He targeted you to get to me. I’m so sorry.”
You cried harder. “I didn’t want to do those things. I couldn’t stop it. I’m really sorry, Anton, I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“No. No. Listen to me. What he did is not your fault. That wasn’t you. It was him,” Anton told you. He wiped your eyes.
“I wanted to take it off so badly. Shotaro’s pissed at me. Sohee too.”
Anton reached for your hand and squeezed it. “They were concerned because they recognized that you weren’t acting like yourself. Once they get the full story, they’re going to be pissed at Mason, not you.” He kissed your forehead. “Sohee already knows that I’m Spider-Man. Explaining it to him will be the easiest. We’ll figure out Shotaro. Okay?”
You nodded. “Are you sure you’re not mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you at all,” Anton said. “If anything, I’m mad at myself. I should have realized it sooner. I knew that you weren’t being yourself. But I spent so long being mad at you that I didn’t connect the dots and now he’s done God knows what to you.”
You reached out to hold him. “What are you going to do about Mason?”
Anton turned around. Mason was gone. He had been so focused on saving you that everything else in the world became secondary. “I know who he is now. He’s not going to get away with it and he’s not going to touch you ever again. I just have to call in a favor.”
“With who?”
Anton grinned. “You have a lot to catch up on. Come on. Let’s get you inside. And then tomorrow, we’ll tell the boys together.”
Sohee’s apartment, NO CHARACTER POV, 1:33 PM
Sohee and Shotaro were gathered on the couch with cups of coffee, their eyes fixed to the television as the news played. “Mind Man, revealed to be twenty-two-year-old NYU student Mason Mooney, has been taken into special custody. Authorities apprehended him last night after allegedly being tipped off by Spider-Man.”
Sohee turned to Shotaro. “Wait. That’s the guy.”
Shotaro was stunned. “What the hell?”
Given the ludicrousness of the situation, Anton had advised waiting until after the news broke out to tell the boys what happened. With that part of it already out in the open, there was no doubt that they would believe you.
Half an hour later, there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it,” Shotaro said. He went up to the door and glanced through the peephole. You were standing there with Anton. Shotaro opened the door. “Well, this is unexpected.”
“Who is it?” Sohee called out.
“____ and Anton.”
“What? Together?”
Shotaro widened the door. He was wary, but the fact that you were both there meant something had changed since the last time he saw either of you. “Come in. Sohee’s in the living room.”
You and Anton walked into the living room hand in hand.
Sohee noticed your hands instantly. He glanced at Anton, silently communicating his bemusement, but Anton said nothing. Sohee said your name. “Did you decide to stop hating us now that your boyfriend’s in ‘special custody?’”
You rubbed your neck. “About that…”
“Yeah. About that,” Shotaro echoed. He dropped back onto the couch. “Care to explain what the past week and half have been about?”
You looked at Anton.
“It’s okay,” he said, squeezing your hand.
You braced yourself. “Mason came over to my apartment one day. He said he understood I didn’t want to continue seeing him, but he wanted to give me one final gift. A bracelet. I didn’t really want it, but he asked me to at least try it on. So I did. I didn’t think that a bracelet could hurt me. I was very wrong… he used it to control my mind and get into my head. Everything I said and did after that day, that wasn’t stuff I was choosing to do. I didn’t choose to kiss Mason in the middle of the party. I didn’t choose to say those awful things to Shotaro. I didn’t choose to ignore Sohee’s messages. But I was helpless to stop it.”
Whatever bit of anger Shotaro might have felt washed away and suddenly he just felt terrible for you. “What? That’s… insane.”
“But it explains everything,” Sohee continued. “Aw, man. I’m really sorry that happened to you. I knew that shit was weird. You wouldn’t do that kind of thing.”
“So you guys are back together?” Shotaro asked.
“Yes,” Anton said, keeping you close to him. “Now that I know the truth, it’s impossible to be mad at her.”
You nodded. “I’m really sorry about how I treated you guys.”
“You didn’t do that,” Shotaro said. “This changes everything. Mason’s more of a dipshit than I thought.”
“Yeah,” you muttered. “He is.”
Sohee smiled softly. “Well, it’s good to know my gossiping buddy is back to normal. Every time something happened, I kept wanting to text you, but then I remembered you hated us for some reason.”
You gasped. “Wait, what? What happened? Did I miss a lot? Are you dating the Zoe girl now?”
Anton snickered. “See. She’s back.”
“It’s a long story,” Sohee said. He patted the spot beside himself. “Let’s get you up to speed.”
Anton’s apartment, YOUR POV, 9:04 PM
That night, you were laying on Anton’s chest in his bed, playing with his hair. “I’m definitely gonna need therapy, but you know what makes me feel better about this whole situation?”
Anton’s arm was curled around your waist. It made you feel safe in a way you hadn’t since Mason put that bracelet on your wrist. “Yeah. What is it?” he asked softly.
“Spider-Man is handsome beneath the mask,” you said. You ran a hand under his shirt. “And ripped too.”
A laugh broke through him. “Really? That’s what makes you feel better?” His eyes were soft. “What a relief. I mean, I was starting to worry I’d have to keep the mask on forever in case you found me ugly.”
“No, the mask and suit stays on during sex,” you quipped, “but you don’t need it.”
Anton shook his head. “You’re a freak. I should have never told you that I was Spider-Man. You read fanfiction about me.”
“Oh my god, when I was a teenager,” you groaned. “Not better than the real thing, though.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah.” You kissed his nose. “Even though this has been the craziest month of my life by far, I’m really glad I met you.”
Anton was grinning. “I’m really glad I met you too.”
loosely inspired by the new spider-man movie. you’ll see. made up my own antagonist bc i do what i want.
spider-man!anton x (f) reader. friend of a friend to lovers. oral sex (giving and receiving). sub!anton. anton’s kind of a loser in this. anton’s pov mostly. the total opposite of a slow burn. wingman!bff!sohee. angst with a happy ending.
sum. anton’s been crushing on you for months and his best friend sohee can’t stand to watch him yearn like a loser anymore, so he forces him to talk to you. as it turns out, you might be into him too. but with mind man, a supervillain, trying to get into his head, anton might not be able to spare you from what it means to be a part of spider-man’s life.
Shotaro’s party at his house, ANTON POV, 8:33 PM
Until a few seconds ago, Anton had no idea at all that you were coming.
Anton had been looking around—not for you, because he was certain you would not be there—but for the beer. “I think Shotaro’s running low.”
“Yeah. And you’re flying low. Might want to fix that before your girl gets here,” Sohee said with the same voice you would tell a friend it was expected to rain tomorrow. He was casually scrolling through his phone.
Anton’s head snapped towards him. “What?” It was the loudest a whisper could be while still maintaining its whisper quality. “I thought she wasn’t coming!”
Sohee shrugged. “She wasn’t. But Shotaro says she changed her mind.”
Anton fixed his pants, his fingers hastily working to zip them up. Then, he ran them through his hair. “Does my hair look okay?” he asked. He had not particularly dressed himself up tonight. A pair of jeans and a campus hoodie usually sufficed for Shotaro’s parties, but not if you were there.
Sohee glanced up from his phone with the faintest trace of amusement in his eyes. “Relax, dude, it’s a party, not the Met Gala. She’s probably not going to be particularly fancy herself.”
She looks fancy in everything she’s in, Anton was tempted to say, but he withheld. He knew Sohee would only tease him and call him a simp.
Within the hour, you came in holding more beer than one person ought to have been carrying, and Anton would have gone over to help had Shotaro not beat him to it. He only watched instead. You were the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen by far. In jeans and a tank top, you had an otherworldly charm to your beauty. The way you smiled sent his heart fluttering up into the heavens. And your eyes, they were like nothing else, bright and warm as the sun on skin. Whenever you looked at him, he felt as though he was melting away.
Wonbin shot up from the couch. “You came!”
“Yup,” you said. “Shotaro decided to infringe upon my free will.”
What Wonbin must have heard was, “You kidnapped her.”
Shotaro took the accusation in stride, literally, as he gathered everything from your hands and headed for the kitchen. “All I did was introduce her to this beautiful thing called community.” He broke into the crowd and disappeared.
Anton watched your eyes dart across the room and brighten with familiarity as you recognized the face beside him. “Sohee,” you called, “Why are you hugging the wall?”
Sohee glanced up from his phone, grinning. “I like hugging the wall. We’ve been waiting for someone to bring beer. It’s better than getting drunk off that abomination of a punch Shotaro made and kissing the floor.”
You laughed. Then, you laid eyes on him. “Hi, Anton!”
Anton put up his hand in a shy wave. “Hey,” he replied quietly.
You did not linger. You said your greetings and went to join Eunseok and Wonbin on the couch, where they quickly roped you into playing video games.
“Real smooth,” Sohee teased.
“Shut up,” Anton told him. He did not do well with strangers. Perhaps you weren't a total stranger, but you were Shotaro’s friend more than you were his. Even Sohee knew you better than he did.
The first time Anton saw you he had been making a beeline for his Music History class after hurriedly shedding his Spider-Man gear behind one of the the less frequented buildings. A couple of morons had decided to kidnap a politician’s son thirty minutes before Anton was due to leave. The incident culminated in a shaken but otherwise unharmed eighteen-year-old, two prison-bound idiots webbed to a crashed car, some terrified civilians, and a few scratches Anton’d had no time to think on. As he was bolting across the pavement, he saw you sitting at a bench with your friends Willow and Krystal, and he almost gave himself whiplash looking at you.
He remembered hoping that he would see you again so that he could prove to himself that you were not something his mind had deliriously fashioned up after hitting his head a few times too many. He even found Sohee after class and described you vividly, the way your hair framed your face, how your nose fit you, how your lips were moist. Sohee went on Instagram and pulled up a profile, asking, “You mean her?” Anton had spent that night scrolling through your profile. He didn’t mean to be a creep, but the sight of you fascinated him and he wanted to engrave it into his memory.
And the day after that, he had gone to Shotaro and asked him to tell him everything he knew about you. Sohee had told him that you two were friends, and Anton had seen for himself that Shotaro was following you online. Shotaro advised that he should talk to you himself if he wanted to get to know you, but Anton was terribly afraid of that going wrong. What if he said something that scared you away? What if you thought he was weird? What if you decided he was boring?
So Anton never said as much as a word to you unless you spoke to him first. At least that way he knew he was not likely to make a fool of himself.
But tonight Sohee was tired of watching him brooding in the corner. “You’re ruining the vibe, man,” his friend told him. Half an hour later, you set down your controller and went off towards the kitchen. “This is your chance. Go talk to her.”
Anton protested the idea immediately. “Nope. Not doing it.”
Sohee rolled his eyes. “Yes, you are. I can’t keep watching you eat your heart out for this girl you refuse to talk to. You’re a cool, charismatic guy, but how is she supposed to know that if you don’t open your mouth and speak?”
“When I open my mouth, nothing comes out.”
“Have you even tried?” Sohee asked. “Come on. Ten minutes. If you can’t figure out what to say in ten minutes, I’ll consider you incorrigibly doomed and never bring it up again.”
Against his will, Anton wound up meandering towards the kitchen where he found you on your phone, leaning against the counter. “Hey,” he forced out. “Just… needed a break from the noise.”
You glanced up from your phone. “Oh, okay. Cool.” You glanced back down.
“Yeah. Cool.” Anton was already regretting this. What was he supposed to say now? “Wonbin’s gonna be sad you bailed on him. He looked like he was really getting into it.” I’m just making it worse.
“Wonbin gets a little too into it,” you said. “Besides, I’m not a video game person anyway.”
“Yeah, me neither,” Anton said. “I just like to chill and listen to music.”
You put your phone away. “What kind of music do you listen to?”
Although Sohee was still in the living room, Anton could still hear him in his head. She’s engaging. Don’t blow it, Sohee’s voice was saying. “Pretty much everything. I’ve been exposed to a lot of stuff over the years. Lately, I’ve been on a Neo Soul craze.”
“Neo Soul?” you echoed, smiling.
Did I choose the wrong dialogue option? Anton asked himself. “Yeah…? Why do you say it like that?”
You glanced him over. “No reason,” you said, but he could see the amusement in your eyes. “So, do you like D’Angelo?”
Anton willed himself to relax. “Are you kidding? He had something really rare. I’m always in awe with his vocal layering. Actually, I’ve been listening to ‘Another Life’ a lot lately. One of the best songs ever created.”
“‘Another Life?’” You laughed. “Do you have a secret crush I don’t know about?”
Anton’s heart was pounding. “What? No. No. That’s not why. I just… like the music.”
“That’s fair.”
He couldn’t tell if you believed him or not. “What about you?”
You thought about it. “I think my favorite song is ‘Me and Those Dreamin’ Eyes of Mine.’ I love a song that’s beautiful and yearnful, you know? And he has a way of keeping everything from sounding empty. Stuff like that amazes me. I hear great songs and just wonder about the process behind it.”
That answer surprised Anton. Most people he met didn’t question music that deeply. “Have you ever made music?”
You turned shy. “Well, yes. I’ve written and produced a few songs before. But I’m not an expert or anything. I’d like to learn more.”
Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I can’t believe this. “I’m, uh, a music student. I produce songs in my free time. I’ve been practicing since I was in middle school,” Anton said coolly. “I could show you what I know one day. If you wanted that.”
“That’s really nice of you,” you replied softly.
Her voice is beautiful, Anton was thinking. This was the most he had said to you ever. Just as that realization came to him, his special ringtone went off, drawing his attention to the phone tucked into his back pocket. “Sorry, that’s my little brother. He only calls me when it’s important. I should go, but, uh, maybe we can pick this up later?”
“Yeah. Sure,” you agreed. “Do you want my number?”
Anton’s mind grounded to a halt. “Yes.” But at the same time, every second he was here, someone was out there wreaking havoc across New York.
“I’ll have Shotaro text it to you,” you said. “Bye-bye, Anton.”
The way you said his name always made his chest feel warm. “Thanks. See you later.” He grabbed his backpack and went out through the back door.
Anton had two ringtones: one was his regular ringtone that sounded when someone was calling him, but the other was connected to a feature Sohee had built into his phone that alerted him of when an urgent crime was happening somewhere nearby.
Sohee was the only person who knew Anton’s secret identity, and that was only because he had been waiting for him in his bedroom when Anton climbed in one day in high school. In the end, this proved beneficial for Anton; not only did Sohee cover for him when he was out of excuses, but he helped him design tools that facilitated his Spider-Man endeavors.
Anton donned his Spider-Man wear and swung out into the night. It was windy around this time, but he liked the way the air buffeted his face through his mask. The city was swallowed in the shadows where evil lurked unseen, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It was his job to rid this city of these criminals that sought only to destroy and harm, and his responsibility to make sure that people felt safe and protected in their home.
Per the app Sohee had built, some burglars had broken into a woman’s house and ran off with thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. They were on the road now in what a neighbor had described as a dark blue-ish sedan. Most likely they had not gotten far.
He was only glad it wasn’t Mind Man tonight. Petty criminals posed no real threat to him, but Mind Man was something else entirely. When they fought, Anton had the sickening feeling that Mind Man was fighting him to understand more than he was fighting him to win. Every time, Anton got the better of him, but the victory never left a sweet taste in his mouth. And with every new duel, Mind Man grew stronger and less predictable.
Anton threw himself into the air over and over. In the sky, he felt untouchable. He liked to get up as high as he could and throw himself off rooftops, dive, pull himself up, and swing on and on and on. There was something about it that gave him a rush. The way the world would swallow him up and then he’d launch himself out of its mouth before it could sink its teeth into him. When he was up here, nothing could hurt him.
He wished other people could feel like this. Free, like a bird… or a spider. Every now and then when Anton was having a hard time he just took to the sky and swung around until his head felt clearer and his heart felt lighter. Up here, there was no need for thinking or feeling. You could just exist.
Only a few minutes had passed before a sedan swerving recklessly caught his eye, blue in color. “Got you,” he muttered to himself. He swung with alarm now. Any more of this and they would cause a wreck. He threw himself down onto the hood of the vehicle. “Stop the car!”
The driver had a battered face and scruffy beard. “Look who it is,” he said gruffly. “Get off my car or I’ll kill you, Spider-Man.”
“I wouldn’t really recommend that. Can we try talking it out over coffee? If you pull over, there’s a nice coffee shop near—”
The man in the passenger seat took out a rifle and started shooting at him.
Anton leapt onto the roof of the car, dodging the bullets as they flew into the air. “Okay, so no coffee. Maybe beer? You guys like beer?”
“Kill him!” shouted the driver.
“Okay, okay, point taken. You know what they say. Don’t bring beer to a gun fight.” The first thing he did was disarm shoots-a-lot in the passenger seat. He reeled the rifle towards himself with a web, used another to block the barrel, and a final shot to bind it out of arm’s reach of the passenger.
When that was done, he dropped back down onto the hood. “You!” the driver snarled. He turned down the corner at break-neck speed, scarcely missing the others cars on the street.
Anton was dismayed. “Holy shit, man. Where did you get your license?” He climbed onto the passenger side of the car and shot a web inside, binding the driver’s hands to the steering wheel.
“You piece of shit! Get this off me!”
“No way, José,” Anton said. Another strand of silky web tugged at the driver’s foot, away from the gas pedal. The car gradually began to slow to a halt.
The man in the passenger seat barreled out of the car and bolted off into the street. “Wow. Really?” Anton said. Just as shoots-a-lot ran beside a wall on the right end of the road, Anton blew another shot that sealed him against the brick.
There were sirens howling behind them. After a few moments they came from around every corner, blocking in the car.
“Got them right here for you, officer,” Anton said. He looked between the two criminals, both locked in place. “You guys are ready for GTA 6. Too bad you can’t play in prison.”
“Thank you, Spider-Man,” an officer said as he came out of his car.
“No problem. Same time tomorrow!” Anton launched a web and pulled himself up and away. There was always a new danger.
The campus courtyard, ANTON POV, 2:57 PM
You were reading something on your phone. “Man, does Spider-Man have a job? Or school? They’re saying he caught, like, a dozen dudes last night.”
Shotaro shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe that is his job.”
“Do you think Spider-Man is making minimum wage?” Sohee asked with a smile.
You giggled. “I wonder who he is. Do you guys think he’s hot?”
Anton made a strangled noise.
Everyone’s heads whipped towards him. “Anton? You good?” Shotaro asked, brows stitched with concern.
Anton forced a smile. “No, yeah. Just choked on my saliva.”
Sohee was grinning from ear to ear. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder. “That’s an interesting question. But the mystery is the whole appeal. It would be boring if everyone knew what he looked like. But who knows? Maybe he’s an absolute beast beneath the spandex.”
Shotaro thought about it. “I mean, you can tell he has a nice build. You have to be in good shape to do all that swinging and stuff,” he agreed. “I never thought about whether or not he was hot though.” He turned towards you. “Why? Do you want him to be hot?”
You shrugged indifferently. “A lot of girls our age think he’s hot. Have you opened any social media platform ever? There’s even Spider-Man fanfiction.”
Anton felt like he was going to die. “I don’t think people should write creepy stuff about him. He’s just some guy trying to do the right thing.”
Sohee ignored him entirely. “Do you read Spider-Man fanfiction?” he asked you.
You shoved Sohee away. “No, I don’t read Spider-Man fanfiction, dude. I’ve moved onto Ghostface now.”
Sohee laughed incredulously. “Ghostface? Really? A serial killer that murders all his friends for fame and glory and whatever the fuck? That’s who you have the hots for?” He shook his head. “Women are so weird, I swear. You gave up a masked vigilante for a masked murderer.”
“I guess she’s got a type,” Shotaro said, “masked, mad and mysterious.”
“Mad?” Anton echoed.
“I think you have to be pretty mad to dedicate your life to trading blows with the Bad Guy of the Day.”
“Ghostface isn’t real, though,” you were saying. “Spider-Man is.”
Anton was in disbelief. “So because Ghostface isn’t real, he’s fair game… and you prefer him to Spider-Man who spends his time making New York City a safer place? Why?”
You shrugged again. “Don’t get me wrong. I love Spider-Man. We need him out here. But when I was reading Spider-Man fanfiction, I was, like, seventeen. Sometimes you just move on from things. And I’ve been watching a ton of horror movies lately,” you explained. “Who do you guys think would win in a fight? Ghostface or Spider-Man?”
“Spider-Man, hands down,” Sohee replied as if it were obvious. “Ghostface is literally just some random with a knife. Spider-Man is Spider-Man. Any attack Ghostface tries, Spider-Man can have him webbed against the wall easily.”
You bit your nail. “He can web me against the wall.”
Everyone’s head turned. “What?”
“Kidding, kidding,” you replied, thoroughly unconvincing. “I just don’t agree. How would Spider-Man beat Ghostface? Ghostface is always fast and strong too. And you can’t really defeat them until they’re dead. When has Spider-Man ever killed anyone?”
Anton was stiff. “I mean, what makes Spider-Man great is that he doesn’t have to kill anyone to be helpful. He doesn’t believe in needless violence.”
Sohee snorted. He’s enjoying this, Anton thought to himself. “Dude, you’re defending him pretty hard. You got a crush on the guy?” he asked knowingly. “She does make a good point, though. Ghostface plays by his own rules.”
“That’s true,” Shotaro agreed. “Ghostface is ruthless, but I think Spidey could kill him if he wanted to, or had to.”
Thank you, Anton was saying in his mind.
“Whatever,” you replied dismissively. “I need to see what Spidey’s working with underneath the suit before I decide if he’s smashable. If he’s jacked but ugly he has to keep the mask on.”
Anton almost walked into Shotaro when you said that. When will this conversation be over?
Sohee was tickled, but he said nothing. For now.
Shotaro, none the wiser, continued to entertain the debate. “There’s just no way he isn’t fit.”
Anton looked to Sohee for help, but the amusement on his face signaled that he was utterly alone. “Guys, you can’t just judge someone’s worth by their body. I mean, what if he’s got a nice personality?”
You rolled your eyes. “Come on. I’m not saying he should be put to death if he’s ugly, but would you fuck someone you don’t find attractive?”
Sohee was almost choking with how hard he was restraining himself from laughter.
Anton couldn’t meet your eyes. “There’s more to attraction than just looks,” he said softly. “Personality, chemistry…”
“I don’t think this is helping your case, man,” Sohee butt in. “In order to judge Spider-Man’s personality, she would have to know him. But she doesn’t.”
Anton sighed. “I don’t know why I’m even arguing about this. I’m just saying that looks aren’t everything. Attraction is made up of a lot of different components, and not everyone needs to see someone’s face to feel a connection.”
Shotaro was touched. “That’s sweet, man.” He patted Anton on the back. “Whoever Spider-Man is, I’m sure he’d appreciate you coming to defend him this hard.”
“I just wouldn’t let an ugly man touch me. I have dignity,” you said abruptly.
“No, yeah,” Anton said. “You should do whatever makes you comfortable.”
Sohee finally burst into laughter. “This conversation just made my whole day, because I’m pretty sure I bombed my exam.”
Shotaro shook his head. “Ease up on the guy. He was just trying to defend Spider-Man’s honor.”
Anton smiled, as if finally understanding the lack of gravity of the dialogue they were having. “I’m just saying we should give him the benefit of the doubt. What if he has a nice voice?”
“Yeah, I’ll make sure to keep that in mind the next time I have a conversation with Spider-Man,” you droned.
Sohee chuckled. “So, who’s your favorite Ghostface?”
You paused to consider it. “I love Stu and Billy, like there’s just something about the magic of the original that I don’t think can be replicated, but I also love Ethan. He’s hot and I’m a sucker for a shy dork.”
A shy dork. Anton looked away.
“I guess I can see the appeal,” Sohee said. “He’s got the whole quiet thing going on, like he’s harmless but a little unhinged beneath the surface. That your thing?”
“I mean, I don’t want to date someone who’s an undercover psychopath,” you said, “but I can handle a little peculiarity. Who wants a serial killer?”
“A little peculiarity. Yeah. Makes sense,” Anton murmured.
Shotaro threw him a curious look, but said nothing. “Anyway, we should all have a movie night again and do a horror theme this time.”
“I’m so in,” Sohee said. “I love watching this girl pretend she’s not scared and then scream out of nowhere.”
You looked annoyed. “I don’t scream. I just make a little noise.”
Anton’s lips twitched. “I believe you.”
“Don’t,” Shotaro said. “The first and last time I watched a movie with her, she couldn’t sit still. And then she kept yelling: ‘are you dumb?’ ‘Look behind you!’ ‘Why aren’t you running?’”
Sohee laughed. “We’re having a movie night for sure. Let’s do my place. Bring your own snacks though.” He turned to Anton. “You’re coming, right?”
You glanced over at Anton who was walking on your far left. “Yeah, you’re coming. Right?”
It was nothing when Sohee had asked him, but when you did it, he felt like there was no way he could refuse. “Yeah. Yeah. For sure.”
You grinned. “Try not to get dragged away this time.”
For a second Anton was afraid he had done something to plant suspicion in your mind that night, afraid that you knew something you should not have known… but then he realized he was being paranoid and there was no way you could have figured him out for a certainty. “I’ll try my best,” he said.
Movie night at Sohee’s house, ANTON POV, 7:22 PM
All four of you had gotten cozy on the sofa, Shotaro, you, Sohee and Anton, in that order. A bowl of popcorn was being shared by each pair.
Anton was not normally one to watch horror films, but he supposed it wasn’t so bad with three friends in his company. And besides you had wanted him here. That alone was more than enough reason to stay.
He was hardly paying the movie any mind anyway. His attention was on you. You became restless when the music grew dramatic and tense, looked away from the screen when something particularly brutal was happening, and yet you seemed totally enraptured by the disturbing contents of this frightening movie. He watched how you clung to Shotaro for comfort and winced when a character took a mortal blow. He noticed how you shrunk when someone you had liked was mangled and butchered beyond salvation. He saw the way your eyes were fixed to the screen with a new intensity during the final act.
What Anton did not expect was for you to ask him halfway through the second movie of the evening, “Anton, do you wanna grab me another water?”
It was a strange request, mostly because he was the furthest from the kitchen, but he did not deny you. “Sure,” he said. He got up; he walked behind the couch to avoid blocking the screen; he went to the kitchen; he grabbed a bottle of water from Sohee’s fridge; he walked back and handed it to you; he sat back down.
You smiled. “Thanks, Anton.”
“No problem,” Anton replied quietly. He forced himself to look at the television mounted on the wall. Something in him died when he felt your fingers brush against yours during the handoff. It came back to life when he heard you say his name.
By the end of the third movie, everyone seemed to have tapped out and had their fill of blood and gore for one evening. Anton and Sohee were hovering in the kitchen. “That could have meant something,” Anton was saying, “or it could have meant nothing. What do you think? I’m overthinking it, right? She was just thirsty.”
Sohee groaned. “My brother, she asked you to get her water. Not me. Not Shotaro. You. She could have asked anyone else in the room, but she asked the guy she barely knows who’s sitting on the other side of the couch. Come on, man.”
Anton didn’t want to get his hopes up over something as insignificant as a bottle of water, but he had to admit that it felt intentional.
Before he could respond, he heard your voice from behind him. “Anton,” you called out, emerging from the living room. “I believe I’m owed a conversation.”
You reached for a family sized bag of barbecue chips that you had brought with you when you came through the door. “Want some?” you asked Anton.
“Yeah,” Anton said softly. “I want some.”
He ignored the way Sohee was grinning at him as he followed you wherever you were taking him. You wound up at the top of the building, a faint breeze making Anton’s hair rustle like leaves in the wind. He watched you settle down near the edge of the rooftop, the city sprawling beneath his feet with a lifelike quality of its own. He lowered himself beside you but kept a respectful distance.
“How do you do that?”
You opened the bag of chips and held it between you both. “Do what?”
Anton looked around. Darkness loomed around them, but the city lights kept everything luminous. “Make everything easy,” he said. “I mean, I’ve been wanting to talk to you for real for months. And you walk up and offer me chips like it’s nothing.”
You chuckled. “I can be shy too,” you confessed. “It’s just that when I meet someone shyer than me, it makes me feel bold. Maybe I’m a predator or some shit. And you’re my prey.”
Anton paused in the middle of reaching for a chip. Then, he burst into laughter. “Prey? That’s what I am to you?” He shook his head. “Should I be nervous?”
“Maybe,” you said. You leaned in. “It makes me feel in control.”
For a small moment Anton felt his heart stop. His eyes darted to your lips, but he forced himself to look away. “In control?” he repeated. “That sounds, uh, dangerous.”
You giggled and pulled away. “So, do you have female friends?”
The question caught Anton off guard, but he was not compelled to lie. “Uh, yeah,” he said. “I have a few. I mean, I don’t have a ton of friends in general, but some of them are girls and some of them are guys. Why?”
“Oh, no reason,” you said, your voice too high-pitched and easygoing for him to believe you. “Do you like kids?”
Anton couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being lured into a trap of some kind. “Do I like kids? I mean, yeah? I have a little brother. He’s not, like, a little kid anymore, but I remember when he was. And I used to help kids learn to swim, back in high school.” He stared at you warily. “Is this a trick?”
“Nope,” you said. “So, like, have you ever heard of artists like SOPHIE? BAYLI? Underscores? Destin Conrad?”
“I know all of them except BAYLI,” Anton said. “Why? Should I get into them?”
You giggled. “Absolutely, she’s amazing,” you told him. “So hypothetically… let’s say you’re really mad at Sohee. Like, he’s teasing you and he just takes it too far one day. And you’re already in a shit mood. What do you do?”
Anton knew for sure he was being tested now, but he said nothing about it. “Well… if Sohee pissed me off, he’d know because I’d stop talking to him for a while. I’d just take a moment to myself to chill out and think on it. And then when I’m ready we can talk it out.”
“Interesting.”
“Is it really?”
You didn’t answer. “So, like… what are your plans for the future?”
Anton glanced off into the distance again. The future. What good had it ever done him to make plans about something so uncertain as that? When he was a boy, all he had cared about was being good enough at swimming that it would open doors for him. Then when he was in high school, a spider bit him, and it changed his life forever.
Now as far as he knew, his future was here, protecting the city he called home by night while by day he was figuring out what it meant to be Anton Lee. “Music. I want to produce and write. Maybe put out my own stuff eventually, but I’m more comfortable behind the scenes.” He had spoken so much about himself he felt as though he was being interviewed. “What about you? What do you want to do?”
You shrugged. “I just like… stories. I love writing and reading. Listening to music too. There’s just something about something that can take you to another world. Even if it’s just for an hour and then reality grounds you back to earth.”
Your words struck a place deep inside him that Anton visited often. “Yeah. I know what you mean.” He met your eyes. “I’d like to read your stories sometime.”
“Maybe one day you can,” you said in a small voice. “Did you grow up here? I love New York.”
She’s shy when it comes to talking about her art, Anton noticed. One time was a coincidence, but twice was a pattern. The thought made him smile. He would have to be gentle about it, then. “I was born in Boston, but I grew up here, yeah. This is home for me. You?”
“I just came here to get away,” you said. “I’m from a really boring city in the south that we shall not name. After graduating high school, I kind of just wanted to be far enough from home that driving is impractical.”
Anton wondered what could have driven you to want to be that far away, but he didn’t pry. Not now. “You’re in the right place, then. Nobody really looks twice at anyone here.”
“It’s really nice,” you said, glancing down at the bustling streets below. “What would you change about it?”
Anton followed your gaze. “What would I change?” he repeated quietly. He sighed. “The rent prices, for one. It shouldn’t cost an arm and a leg just to basically live in someone’s closet. And I’d… make it safer. It can be really dangerous sometimes. I want people to feel like they can walk home without looking over their shoulder.”
You hummed. “That’s reasonable.”
Anton’s heart felt lighter. The conversation had drifted somewhere easy. “You’re really easy to talk to,” he said after a pause.
“Thanks,” you said, grinning. “You too. Although we should probably head back down.”
“You’re right.” Even as he said that, there was a hint of reluctance in his voice. “Sohee’s gonna think I fell down the roof.” He stood up and outstretched his hand.
“Relax. I think I can still stand up by myself.” You accepted his hand anyway.
Anton pulled you up gingerly, his breathing trapped in his throat as he felt your fingers, soft and supple, close around his own. He held them for a second longer than he should have. “Just being polite,” he murmured. “You know, between you and me, I wasn’t in a hurry to go back down.”
“I know,” you said with a teasing smile. You led him down anyway.
“Look who decided to join us,” Sohee said when the two of you returned. “Were you doing a tour or what?”
“Oh, yeah. A very thorough tour at that,” you said as you went to set your barbecue chips on the table. “Had to make sure he saw all the bird shit. He said that was his favorite part.”
Anton played along. “No, yeah. The bird shit really helped set the vibe.”
Sohee crossed his arms. “Right. That’s exactly what happened. I believe you guys.” There was a knowing twinkle in his eyes as he glanced at Anton. “Maybe just try not to get lost next time.”
You stretched your arms above your head and yawned. “I think I’m going to call it a night. Later, boys.”
Anton resisted a frown. “Good night. Text me when you get home. So I know you made it back safe.”
Sohee waved. “Just don’t get murdered. I would miss you a little bit.”
You flipped Sohee off, waved at Anton, bid your goodbyes to Shotaro who was lying on the couch, and slipped through the front door.
When you were gone, Sohee wanted to know the truth of it immediately. “So? What really happened? You guys were gone for nearly forty minutes. Did you kiss her?”
Anton rubbed his nape. “We just… talked.”
Sohee was not impressed. “About…?”
The conversation was always replaying in Anton’s head and you had only just left. “She asked me a bunch of questions. About my future, music, if I like kids, that sort of thing.”
“What?” Sohee was beaming. “Dude. You’re serious? She asked you if you like kids? That’s serious.”
Anton felt restless. “Or she was just curious. Just making conversation.” Even he didn’t believe that himself.
“I don’t think women just go around asking guys they just met if they like children for no good reason,” Sohee told him. “What else did she ask you?”
Anton thought about it. “She asked me if I had female friends.”
Sohee seemed thrilled. “Oh, yeah, man. She wants to see if you’re a good, respectful young man.”
For once Anton let himself feel some kind of hope. “I should probably text her.”
“You absolutely should,” Sohee agreed. “Maybe mention the chips, I don’t know. She brought chips. Girls like when you remember shit. It’s the little things.”
That night, Anton lay in bed, thinking way too much on what would be the best thing to say. He typed a message and deleted it. He typed another and deleted that too. “Fuck,” he swore under his breath. What were you doing to him?
anton: hey, i had a good time tn. hope you got home okay. thanks for the chips
He settled for that message and forced himself asleep.
When he woke, there was a new message from you on his screen.
you: hey, sorry. fell asleep. thanks for looking out tho. see u when i see ya 😝
Anton must have read the text ten times before he realized he needed to start his day.
A party at some dude named Tyler’s house, ANTON POV, 9:42 PM
Normally Anton would have rather been home, but any chance at seeing you was a chance he was willing to take.
Tyler Rockwell threw parties like it was his life’s calling and absolute duty, nearly every weekend without fail. His parties were open to whoever wanted to show and his friends were always coming up with innovative ways to risk a visit to the emergency room. Anton preferred Shotaro’s parties. Shotaro was picky with his guest list, which meant the size was bound to be more intimate, and they shared a social circle to an extent. A smaller crowd with more familiar faces was easier for him. Usually at parties like this one he stuck to who he knew until he got bored or drunk and wanted to go home.
Around him the music was booming so aggressively he could feel it beneath his shoes and in his bones. A few people bumped into him wordlessly as they passed by, and he could hardly be mad at them when everyone in the room was standing shoulder to shoulder. Gingerly he wove through them in the sparse spaces where the throng of bodies broke up, passing a bundle of tipsy partygoers playing beer pong and a pair of freshmen smoking in a corner. He saw Shotaro in the kitchen laughing with one of his dance crewmates; Eunseok dueling someone on the couch; and Sohee flirting with that Zoe girl he was crushing on.
When he finally laid eyes on you after minutes of ceaseless searching, you were standing by the patio doors talking to a guy Anton had never seen before. He was tall, maybe even taller than Anton, brown of hair, and standing close enough to you that it made Anton’s chest tighten.
Shotaro came up beside him. “Anton, you made it.”
He wished he hadn’t. “Who’s that?” he asked, gesturing over to where you were laughing with another guy.
Shotaro let his eyes be directed there. “Oh, that’s Mason. Mason Mooney. He’s a friend of Tyler’s. Smooth talker.” His voice was not fond. “Are you just curious or are you asking because you’re jealous?”
Anton tried to play it cool. “I’m not jealous. She can talk to whoever she wants.”
Shotaro was unconvinced. “Yeah. Sure.” He took a sip of his drink. “Mason’s a real flirt. Not really the kind of guy she’s into. She’ll probably get bored of him before the night’s over with. I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it.”
“I’m not—I don’t care about that,” Anton insisted.
Shotaro snickered. “Okay. You don’t care about that. I’m gonna go grab another drink. You want one?”
When Anton shook his head, Shotaro clapped him on the shoulder and disappeared into the crowd. You were the whole reason he had even come to this party and now he was here for nothing. Maybe he would go back out and spend the night patrolling. He would need to be clearheaded if he did that.
And yet he hardly moved from that spot. His eyes were fixed on you and this Mason guy he had never heard of until now who was making you laugh in the middle of a party where any guy would surely have loved to talk to you. Anton knew he would have. Lately he had been thinking about you and the exchange you’d had up there on Sohee’s rooftop, no one privy to your conversation but the moon and the streets below. It was all he could think about.
Walk away, he told himself, don’t be that guy. Anton almost did turn and head out where he came in. But then he saw Mason gesture towards the stairs. He saw you take Mason’s hand and follow him up.
Against his better judgment, Anton slipped through everyone in the crowd and trailed behind far enough to go undetected. When you disappeared up the stairs, he stayed at the bottom, just within earshot.
“I’ve been waiting to do this all night,” came Mason’s voice in the upper hall.
He heard your voice only a couple of seconds later. “You mean a chance to get me alone?”
“You make it sound so wrong,” Mason was saying. “Is it a crime if I want to be alone with a beautiful woman?”
“Mmmm. No. But you do know I have options, right?”
Mason let out a breathy laugh. “Looking like that, I don’t doubt it,” he said, “but you’re not with your other options. You’re with me. What’s that tell you? ‘Cause I know what it’s telling me.”
“Tells me that I’m a little curious,” you said. “What do you like about me anyway?”
Anton felt his heart thundering.
“I like that you keep me on my toes,” Mason replied smoothly. “Never know what’s gonna come out of your mouth next. I like that you say what’s on your mind. I like that you know you could have anyone in this party, but you’re standing right here with me.” There was a lull of silence where Anton could hear nothing but the two of you breathing. “So, what’s it gonna take for you to give me a chance? A drink? A walk? Another party?”
You chuckled. “I don’t know. I feel like you just want to fuck me.”
“Well, I wouldn’t be opposed,” Mason admitted, “but that’s not the only reason I’m talking to you. I like you. I like your attitude. I like your style. I like that pretty little smile. See, there it is. Look at that smile. Gorgeous.”
Anton heard you giggling. “Let’s just go in here and talk, yeah?”
“Okay. I can talk.”
A door opened and shut. Anton stood frozen at the foot of the stairs before he willed himself to turn away. It’s her life. She’s a grown woman. She can talk to whoever she wants.
He made his way to the front door and slipped back out into the night, perching on the steps. The night was a bleak thing around him, a starless sky straggling far and wide for miles. From here the party was trapped behind the threshold, struggling against the door, resisting its walls, threatening to burst into the streets.
Anton thought about the rooftop: the shared chips, the way you made his name sound grand and monumental, the way he had let himself hope that you might want him the way he wanted you. Then, he thought about Mason, who had seemed so confident and sure of himself, the kind of guy who got any girl he wanted. He didn’t know if he could compete with that.
Behind him the door creaked open, some of the chaos from inside spilling out for a moment. Anton did not turn around, but he recognized Sohee’s footsteps when he heard them. Sohee settled down beside him. “Shotaro saw you leave. Said you looked gloomy. I thought I’d come out and check on you.”
Anton didn’t meet Sohee’s eyes. “Just getting some air.”
Sohee didn’t respond immediately. “She went upstairs with Mason. You know that doesn’t mean shit, right? Plus she can hang out with whoever she wants.”
“I know.” Anton had been reminding himself that much repeatedly.
“Then, what’s going on up there, bro?”
Anton released a weary breath. “I don’t know. It’s just… that night on the rooftop, everything felt… legit, you know? Like it could really be something. And now she’s over here laughing with some other guy that’s smooth and charming…”
Sohee didn’t let him finish. “Hey, man. What Mason has doesn’t take away from who you are. You’re a cool dude. I don’t think she would have spent nearly an hour talking to you up there if she didn’t think you were at least a little interesting.”
“I guess you’re right,” Anton conceded.
“Of course, I am,” Sohee said, grinning. “You wanna get out of here? This party’s a joke anyway.”
“Yeah.” Anton stood up. They descended the stairs. “What about that girl you were talking to, though?”
“Zoe?” Sohee rubbed his nape. “Let’s just talk about you and yours, man.”
“No, no, no, no, no,” Anton said. “You’re always interfering with my love life. It’s only fair I get to hear about yours.”
Sohee groaned. “It’s complicated, dude.”
Anton shrugged. “We’ve got a long walk. I’m all ears.”
The campus courtyard, ANTON POV, 12:01 PM
This time Anton hadn’t meant to pry. He was in the courtyard waiting for Sohee when your voice, lovely as ever, filled his ears. When he looked up he saw you walking between your friends Willow and Krystal, using your hands like they were scales. He caught the tail end of your words. “Ugh. I should just make them duel or something. That’s probably what men did in the Middle Ages. Fight to the death.”
You rolled your eyes. “Okay. Fine. Rock paper scissors, best of three.”
Less than an hour later, you, Shotaro, Sohee and Anton were gathered around a bench. Anton had expected you to sit beside Sohee or Shotaro as you most often did… so it stunned him when you stole Sohee’s spot beside him before he could settle down.
Oh. Okay. That’s not weird, Anton told himself. “Hey,” he said.
“Hi, Anton,” you greeted with a sweet smile. You glanced down at his hands. His knuckles were red. Your brows furrowed. “You okay? What happened to your hands?”
Anton looked at his own hands. Last night he had taken on a group of crooks making trouble downtown, and earned a few scratches for his work, but that was nothing he could mention to you. “No, I’m—I’m good. Just went a little too hard in the gym, I think.”
You seemed to accept his lie. “Oh, okay. You should be more careful.”
A strange feeling blossomed throughout his chest. He smiled. “Yeah. I should. Thanks for being worried.”
“Do you want to come to my place later?”
Everyone’s heads turned. Sohee nearly broke his neck. Shotaro’s coffee cup had been halfway to his lips when he paused. And Anton felt his heart stop. “Your place?” he repeated, blinking. “Tonight?”
“Well, yeah,” you said as if it were no big deal. “Why not? Are you busy?”
“No,” Anton said much too fast. “No. I think I have time, I’m pretty sure. What time should I come over?”
“Is seven okay?”
“Seven. Yeah. I’ll be there.”
You grinned. “Great. Do you like Mexican food? There’s a restaurant down the block from my place. I can order some so it’s ready when you get there.”
“Yeah, I’m not a picky eater,” Anton said.
“Alright. I’ll text you the menu. Just let me know what you want.”
“I’ll pay you back later, then.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“Still.”
“Just focus on getting there.”
Anton’s heart fluttered. “Yes, ma’am.”
Your apartment, ANTON POV, 6:58 PM
He was at the door before seven. An entire ten minutes early, in truth, but he’d circled around with a stammering heart until he felt it was appropriate for him to approach. The door swung open a few moments after he rang the doorbell. You stood there with a radiant smile that did nothing to soothe that incessant tremor.
“Anton! Come in. Did you bring me a gift?” You sounded so happy to see him. He wondered if you were this happy with Mason too.
Anton shut the door behind himself and raised the bag in his right hand. “I just brought chips.” He almost hadn’t. He had stood in the middle of the chip aisle in the bodega for a few minutes longer than he should have, going back and forth with himself in his head, afraid that you’d think it was too cheesy; but he could not show up empty-handed, and so he paid for them anyway.
“My favorite chips,” you said, leading him to a wooden table. It was small, but enough for two, and the food was already separated and plated. “That’s very sweet.”
Anton shook his head, silently denying it. He took a glimpse at your apartment and was suddenly grateful that you had let him step into your world. A bookshelf in the living room stood out, tall and brimming with novels, most of which he didn’t recognize. You had an unfolded blanket on the couch and something was playing on the television although it was muted. “You have a nice place.”
“It’s alright,” you said, settling down. “It’s not fancy, but it’s mine.”
It’s fancy because it’s yours, Anton thought, and he was reminded of that night at Shotaro’s party again when you came in wearing a tank top and jeans. “Yeah. It’s yours. And I appreciate you inviting me into your space.” He took his seat in front of you. “I’ve been looking forward to this all day, actually.”
He saw your eyes flicker. “Really?”
“Is that surprising?”
“I’m just surprised you said it out loud,” you told him.
“I’m surprised too,” Anton admitted, chuckling timidly. He briefly avoided your eyes. “But you deserve to know the truth.”
“You deserve to know the truth too,” you said. “I heard you saw me with Mason.”
Anton took a second to find his voice. “I mean, I did. Yeah. But that’s your business.”
You looked thoughtful. “I just feel like we should talk about it. I don’t want you to feel like I’m leading you on or something.”
“I don’t feel that way,” he whispered. “I mean, honestly, I didn’t love seeing you with him, I can admit that. But it’s your life. I do like you, like, a lot, and I’d be happy if this maybe went somewhere, but that’s your choice to make.”
“I don’t think I like Mason that much anyway,” you confessed. “He’s… nice, but I don’t know. My gut keeps telling me there’s something off about him.” Your voice was soft, tender. Anton didn’t feel deserving of it. “I don’t feel that way around you. I feel like what I see is what I get.”
A profound guilt shot through him and made his body twitch. He wished he could tell you the truth, but he knew that it was far too soon to give his secret away. He decided to tell you what little truth he could for now. “Can I tell you something bad?” he asked quietly.
Your eyes were curious. “What’s up?”
“I was eavesdropping. When you were talking to Mason in the hallway. I know that was wrong of me and I’m not gonna defend that choice. I just thought you should know.” He looked down at his food. The confession was a small thing in the grand scheme of his secrets, but no less important. He wished he would have told you sooner.
“Oh.” You scratched your head. “Thanks for telling me.”
“Are you mad at me?” He had to ask.
“Mad? No,” you said. “I mean, that’s a little weird. But not unforgivable. So it’s fine.”
Anton felt embarrassed. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure, Anton.” When you reached for his hand, he thought his life was over. “And what I was trying to say is: I won’t be seeing Mason anymore. I just want to explore what this is with you. So, you don’t need to get all jealous anymore, okay?”
“I wasn’t…” The lie died in his throat, knowing it was hopeless, and he laughed at himself. “Okay. I was a little jealous. Sue me.”
You giggled. “Okay, let’s eat. I wanna see if you still like me after watching me demolish this burrito. I’m not gonna pretend to be ladylike.”
I like that about you, he thought. That you don’t pretend. You’re just unabashedly yourself. “I don’t think you being yourself will make me change my mind about you.”
He felt like an idiot saying that, until he saw how your smile bloomed wide across your face. “Tell me more about yourself.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
He thought about it as he chewed his food. “I love music. I played cello in high school. I’m alright with piano. I started learning when I was a kid but dropped it. I’m good with bass and guitar too. I like movies, especially sci-fi and romance. Cheesy, I know. I’m fascinated by space. I’m allergic to dogs. I like dinosaurs. I hate crowds, so most parties are hell for me. What about you? You said you like writing? I noticed your bookshelf when I came in.”
You glanced back at it. “I love writing. I think a part of it comes from the fact that a lot of the things I’d love to read don’t exist yet. So I make them myself.”
“I get that,” Anton said. “Sometimes I make my own songs because there’s not one that captures the exact feeling I’m going through. What are you into?”
“I’m mostly a fantasy girl, but I’ll probably read any kind of fiction besides romance. I read nonfiction as well, I think it’s important to stay balanced.”
“What’s wrong with romance?”
“I adore romance as a subplot,” you told him, “but I don’t like when the entire book is about that, you know? Romance is a beautiful, human thing, but it shouldn’t consume everything else. I appreciate books that leave room for every aspect of life.”
Anton nodded slowly. “That makes sense.” He was wondering how he would manage that himself—his feelings for you, and the secret identity that meant one way or another, he would always have to lie to you.
Conversation was an easy thing in your company. Anton talked at length about his family, his favorite movies, the things he wanted to do in the future, the places he wanted to see. What he found was that the two of you had a great deal in common. You even exchanged book recommendations (which delighted Anton, who had been wanting to take advantage of his free time to read more lately).
Within the hour his belly was full and his heart was quiet and at ease. There were a few lingering nerves, but he hardly noticed them at all. He was too focused on you. Everything he learned about you only made him like you more, and he liked it for no reason other than that it was yours.
Then you led him to the couch. It was dim there. Now that the kitchen lights were turned off, only the blue hue of the television kept them from being thrust into sheer blackness. When he settled beside you, you asked, “Can I kiss you?”
For once Anton could believe that he wasn’t dreaming. “You can kiss me as much as you want.”
You took that response seriously. When your lips came down against his, they pulled away only to breathe. At first it was a gentle thing, a way of testing the waters. Very quickly you discovered the water was fine, and from there it was all passion and touching and desire.
Anton was not totally inexperienced—he had kissed women before, and slept with a woman before, and he had thoroughly enjoyed it—but the moment you settled onto his lap all his sense went out the window and he felt like a clueless virgin. What was new was that he had never felt the way he did about you for anyone.
Your lips were like warm feathers against his neck. Anton sucked in a breath when he felt them there. They advanced in a downward climb that made him shudder without the knowing of what you might do next. He was willing to surrender himself to you in all the ways he could to make up for the ways he could not.
While this was happening, you must have decided you wanted to kill him, because soon he felt the grind of your body as you pressed yourself against him. He said your name. “That’s…”
You pulled away only barely. It was still too far. “It’s what? Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” Anton blurted, “no, no. I don’t want you to stop. I just… do you know what you’re doing?”
That amused you. “I’m kissing you and grinding against your dick.”
The vulgarity made him flinch, but he supposed he’d liked that you didn’t mince your words. “Right. Yeah. That was a stupid question.”
“Did you mean do I know what I’m doing to you?” you asked with a teasing smile, and pressed yourself against him again. “I have a pretty good idea.” You reached down to squeeze him through his pants. “I didn’t realize you were the type to get hard from just a little bit of kissing and grinding.”
“It helps that it’s you,” he murmured.
“Do you have a soft spot for me, then?” you asked. “Or a hard one, rather?” You squeezed him again.
Anton groaned. “You already know the answer to that.”
“Okay. I have another question.”
“Yeah?”
“Can I suck your dick?”
Anton felt his brain short-circuit. She’s serious. “Yeah. If you want to. I mean, I guess you want to because you asked, but…”
You pressed your index finger against his lips. “Shhh.”
Anton was not going to defy a beautiful woman sitting on his lap and offering to suck him off. He simply nodded his head.
You maneuvered yourself beside him and tugged at his pants and underwear only enough to free his cock. It came up hard and tall and aching. In his mind Anton was begging for you to touch him, and in reality soon enough if you made him wait any longer. He was not too proud. “Wow,” you said, impressed. “You’re pretty big.”
“You think so?”
“Mmhm.” You reached for him, his tip slick with precum, and spread it along his shaft.
Anton tipped his head back against the sofa and let you have control. In that moment he would have let you do almost anything you liked. He was just grateful you were even touching him at all. When he came here he hadn’t imagined he’d end up on your sofa with his dick in your palm.
Your hand teased him up and down in a tight stroke that only made his need grow fiercer than ever. Anton’s breath was heavy on his own ears, and so was his heart’s thudding. He wondered if you heard him the way he heard himself, but you said nothing of it, thoroughly fixated on his length.
When at last you took the head into your mouth, Anton could no longer think, and it did him little good to try. Holy shit. It had been a while since he had been touched by a hand other than his own, and even longer since he felt a mouth there. Yours was supreme. He knew some of his feelings were partial, but that didn’t matter. You were here, and you were real, and you were sucking him, and his mind was reeling, and…
You took him deeper. “Fuck,” he swore out loud. He watched the descent with his own eyes, but the only thing that kept him from believing he was imagining it was that the warmth of your mouth around him and the press of your tongue against his shaft was not something even his most wild dream could fabricate. More than once he had thought about what it would feel like to have your skin on his, a sweet fantasy of you wanting him, craving him, your body warm and trembling and aching for him, and those images in his head were bronze beside your golden touch.
Anton held your hair away from your face, mostly because it was the very least he could do when you were already giving him such a wonderful gift, and partly because he wanted to see you the best he could. He had always found you beautiful. You were no less beautiful now, and he was fascinated by the way you took him in, the way your soft lips sealed around him, the way you would look into his eyes for longer than he could endure without tearing his gaze away. He knew you liked that; he could feel your amusement in the small tremor of your mouth. He didn’t mind, either. Anton knew he was a mess, but he was a mess for you.
If a month someone would have told him that this would be happening, he would never have believed it. The girls of his dreams who unraveled him with a glance inviting him into her home and sucking his cock without prompting. What a wet fantasy come true. He felt indebted and eager to repay the favor. I will, if she lets me. He would feel guilty if he let you walk away from this without making you feel even a fraction of the delights you were giving him now.
Though it was hard to think about that. Every time his thoughts pushed him astray for a few seconds at most, your tongue pulled him back into nothing but you. You grounded him with your touch, not only the wet feel of your mouth, but the way your hand was braced on his thigh and your cheek grazed him. It was a good thing for him. His mind was not naturally a quiet place. At times this did him more harm than not, and it felt freeing, like swinging across the city but infinitely better.
Anton said your name again. “Please, don’t stop.” He was close to the finish, sooner than he would have liked to be, but he never had grand expectations for himself.
You did not stop. In fact, he felt you suck him even faster, and from there Anton lost his mind. Time didn’t feel real. More than that he stopped being concerned with his concept of it altogether. All he knew was that one second you were surely trying to suck him out of a soul, and the next his hips were alive with a mind of their own and his cum was in your mouth.
What really did it for him was watching you swallow. “You…”
You pulled away, licking your lips. “I…?”
He had no words. I think I’m in love. Or that I’ve died and this is heaven. Maybe both. “Thank you,” he said after a moment. “Let me return the favor,” he added after a little longer. “Please.”
That was how Anton wound up on his knees, settled between your legs. At first he did nothing but stare, mesmerized by how gorgeous you were, wet and slick and soft, but then he felt weird about openly gawking at your vagina and raked his fingers through your folds instead. He saw your lips part silently.
Anton didn’t start hastily. He was gentle as ever, pressing kisses to your cunt and the skin around it. When that was through he began licking, and then sucking, and he observed your body closely. This was something he had to get right.
Here and there you told him what to do, and Anton was more than happy to oblige you if it meant you would be satisfied. In fact he appreciated that you knew exactly what you wanted from him. It left no room for guesswork. “Like that,” you said. You sighed softly.
Now was not the time to ask, but Anton wondered if you had ever imagined him before, if you had ever closed your eyes at night and pictured his hands on your body and how they might fit around you, if you had ever imagined what he looked like beneath his clothes. He was still wrapping his head around the fact that you wanted him at all. And that you had given him a mind-numbing blowjob that led to an orgasm that he could still feel remnants of.
You deserved to feel that good too, he thought. Perhaps even better. By the end of it he wanted to see you shuddering and swearing with all the ecstasy your body could handle at once. He wasn’t sure if that would be enough, even then. He might have had to do it twice. Or three times. He was not opposed…
“You’re doing so good, baby,” you told him breathlessly.
Anton felt his own breath still. “You can’t just call me that.”
“Why? You like it?”
“Too much,” he muttered.
You grinned mischievously. “Don’t stop, baby. I like your mouth so much…”
Fuck. If she keeps this up I’m gonna get hard again. But he tried not to think about himself for now. You had told him not to stop, and he was determined not to until he had made you come on his tongue.
Anton was hungry for it. The more he thought about it the more he wanted it. He wanted to see you surrender to his mouth, he wanted to feel your body yield to him. He wanted to know what effect he could have on you, and if it was anything like the one you had on him. He was a curious person by nature, that had always been true.
Soon he was introducing his fingers. You gasped when he slid them inside you with ease. You were so wet, so ready. For only a few seconds he let himself imagine what it would feel like to fill you with his cock… but only for a few seconds, and then he banished that thought. Anton had been told before that he had big hands and long fingers, and he was intent on making good use of them.
“Feel okay?” he asked as he curled his fingers inside.
Your hips arched into his hand, which was an answer of its own. “Mmhm.”
He pressed the heel of his free hand down just shy of your stomach while his other hand stroked you with his fingers. He could feel you gushing and tightening around his digits, the need burning within you, bringing you closer and closer. Your eyes fluttered shut and you were making the prettiest sounds he had ever heard.
It occurred to him then, with the end drawing near, that he almost didn’t want this to be over. Or he wished he had some way of reliving it again at least. But he let himself be present. He would not get this first moment again, so he could not let it go to waste.
Finally you had taken all you could and your pussy seized his fingers tight when you reached your climax. “Oh, fuck, fuck,” you cursed. His mouth stayed on you through it, and he grabbed your thigh with one hand, and felt it twitching. His eyes never left you as you came for him. He wanted to keep that image there in his mind forever.
When it was done and you were slack and panting, he withdrew his fingers and reached for your cheek. “You okay?” he asked.
Your eyes were fluttering. “I’m marvelous.”
Anton grinned.
“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
He had to learn to stop being surprised by you. “Already?”
“Should we slow down?” you asked.
Anton considered it. “Probably,” he said, “but if you want me to be your boyfriend, I won’t say no.”
“I want you to be my boyfriend.”
I can’t believe this whole day has been real. Anton’s smile was uncontrollably wide, and it was all for you. “Okay. Then, I’m your boyfriend. And you’re my girlfriend.”
No specific location or time, ANTON POV
After you became his girlfriend, Anton felt that every other problem he’d ever had was of little consequence. That was not to say that he neglected his responsibilities, but he began to approach the world with an optimism that surprised even himself.
His friends noticed it, but they did not question him, mostly because they already knew the cause of it. What they did do was tease the hell out of him. When he came to them with the news, everyone was happy for him and supportive of the new pairing. Sohee in particular was amazed by how hastily Anton had managed to make you his girlfriend (Anton himself seldom believed it), but he had always been confident in him, more than Anton had been in himself.
It was important to him that he was a good boyfriend. You still made his stomach swim painfully, but he was intent on keeping you around so that the likes of Mason Mooney didn’t get their hands on you. He wanted you to be as happy around him as he was around you. Anton took you on dates when he had the time for it, and sometimes when he did not have the time for it he made time. He was more reckless with his money than proper, but he could afford it. Anything to see you smile. What he loved most of all was fostering the connection between you. With every date he learned more about the kind of person you were and he fell even deeper for her.
It was Sohee that told him one day, You’re a goner, man. Every day, every week, every second, it was even more true.
One day he was out patrolling the city when from behind him came a voice he had come to despise. “Hello, Anton.”
He froze. Anton. He had called him Anton, not Spider-Man. Slowly he turned around. “Who are you?”
Mind Man stood there in his purple-and-yellow suit. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” He laughed. “You look afraid. Are you, Anton? Afraid?”
Anton willed himself to remain calm, but there was no way that anyone other than Sohee could have known his identity. He frequently underwent several annoying measures to maintain his anonymity. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. Maybe Mind Man was bluffing. Maybe he was merely testing him.
Mind Man tilted his head. “But I think you do. You’re Anton Lee. Boston born, New York raised. You have a little brother that you love with your whole heart. You’ve been surrounded by music your whole life. You were a swimmer in high school. You read books about space. You like going to the movies. You have that little girlfriend of yours that you’ve been crushing on for months. Sohee Lee is your best friend and the only person who knows that you’re Spider-Man, other than me, of course. Should I go on?”
Anton felt paralyzed. “What do you want?”
“I’m glad you asked, Anton,” Mind Man said. “I want to understand you. I want to get inside your head. You’re the only person I can’t control. So if I can’t get to you from the inside, I’ll get in from the outside.”
Anton wished he understood what he meant, but it sounded like a threat. “If you touch any of my friends, my family…”
Mind’s Man laughter cut him off. “What will you do if I touch your friends and family, Anton? Web me to a wall?” He stepped closer, as if urging Anton to give it a try. “Who’s to say I already haven’t?”
Anton reached for him, but Mind Man leapt away.
“Not so fast, spider,” taunted Mind Man. “Are you going to hurt an innocent man? What if I haven’t done anything? Would that sit right with your conscience?”
“You’ve done enough,” Anton reminded. “You’ve terrorized this city with your plots.” Mind Man was behind some of the more elaborate crimes Anton had dealt with, or at the very least he was always involved in them. Anton remembered one time someone had set up a false alarm on one side of town while a robbery took place on the opposite end. When he finally got there, some of the damage was catastrophic, and Mind Man delayed him even more. He’d felt a terrible guilt that day for the lives that had been expended, that he had not saved.
“The only terror is you,” Mind Man spat. “What good do you think you’re doing for this city, really? For every crook you catch, there’s ten more like him. You give the people hope, but nothing will ever change. Why make them believe in a reality that will never be true?”
Anton gestured around. “In case you haven’t noticed, the crime rates are down. I can’t stop every single bad guy, sure, but the ones I can, that makes a difference. Don’t act like it doesn’t.”
“But it’s true. There’s a great deal of people interested in Spider-Man, and they’re not all just novice lowlifes.” With that, Mind Man went off into the night.
Anton didn’t follow. He knew it would be useless. But he felt a terrible dread rousing within him, a dread of something without a name. He could not know what was to happen.
For a while he stood there alone, wondering if he truly was enough for this wondrous city, if perhaps all his efforts would one day be in vain, if nothing was certain but that he’d endangered those he loved… No. He’s trying to get into my head. That’s what he does. And while true, Mind Man was never one to be idle. His words were meant to confuse, to stifle, but there was always a hint of truth to them one way or another.
Building up to the party at Tyler’s house, ANTON POV, 9:10 PM
Anton was afraid that the honeymoon phase was already over, but he could not think of any other way to rationalize your behavior.
You were not only quiet but uncharacteristically standoffish. The first time you bailed on a plan last minute, Anton thought nothing of it. Things could come up unexpectedly, he knew that all too well. But then it became a frequent problem. When you did finally show to one of the hangouts, you hardly engaged with the others, mostly on your phone or giving curt responses.
He had sat beside you on Sohee’s couch, trying to get you to speak to him. “Hey.”
You hardly looked at him. “Hey.”
Anton felt his chest tightening. He wracked his brain for something to say. “You got a new bracelet,” he pointed out. “That’s cool. Where’d you get it from?”
You glimpsed at the purple bracelet on your arm. “Krystal,” was all you said.
“Oh, cool.”
It got to the point that Sohee had pulled him aside and asked, “Did you guys get into a fight?”
“No,” Anton had told him, because it was the truth. He hadn’t remembered doing anything wrong either. One day, you were this exuberant person that was always smiling in his company, and now you wanted little to do with him, or anyone for that matter.
Friday night was the final nail in the coffin. When Anton texted you to ask if you were coming, you told him, very bluntly: “no.” He almost didn’t come himself, but Sohee and Shotaro insisted that being alone right now would do him no good.
Which was why he found it strange that the second he made it into the hallway, they immediately came up to him, as if they had been waiting. “Hey, man,” Sohee said, clasping a hand on his shoulder. “You want a drink? Tyler’s got some crazy shit in the kitchen. You got to try it.” He started to steer him towards the kitchen.
Shotaro’s face was tight with thinly veined anger, but he encouraged it. “Yeah, come on. I want to see your face when you drink it.”
Anton knew something was wrong. “What’s going on?” he asked forthrightly. He pried Sohee’s hand away. “You guys would normally already be doing your own thing by now.”
Shotaro and Sohee exchanged glances. Neither of them said a word.
“I’m not going to the kitchen,” he said, and went to the main room.
He almost immediately wished he hadn’t.
There you were, in Mason’s arms, kissing him and smiling like you hadn’t with Anton in seven days. You knew he would be here. You knew Sohee and Shotaro would be here. But you made no attempt to hide it, existing in your own world where it was just you and Mason.
He could have gone over. He was angry enough. He could have lashed out, and he might have even been justified in it, but he let you have that world. If this was your choice, if this was what you wanted all along, then so be it. He just wished you would have said that from the beginning.
“Anton,” Sohee started, coming up beside him.
“You weren’t going to tell me?” Anton asked, finally tearing his eyes away from the sight that was making his heart wrench.
“We were,” Sohee said, “but we didn’t want you to see it.”
They were trying to protect him. Anton could understand that. But he was not sure if he could believe it otherwise. You had been different lately, there was no doubt, but he’d hoped time and space would bring you back to normal. “Well, I saw it,” he said, and turned for the door.
Sohee followed him out. “Anton, wait. Shotaro’s going to talk to her. I don’t know what’s going on. She’s not usually like this. She’s not this kind of person.”
The night felt cooler on his shoulders than it had before he came in only a few minutes ago. “Doesn’t matter what she’s usually like. She did what she did.” His voice was flat. “I’m going home. Or maybe I’ll just patrol instead. The city still needs me, even if she doesn’t.”
“Okay,” Sohee said. He sighed. “Just don’t shut me out.”
Anton nodded. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” Both of them turned and walked opposite directions, Sohee back into the chaos, and Anton wherever his feet led him.
He didn’t go straight home. For a while Anton ambled around aimlessly, his hands in his pockets, his mind racing. It made no sense to him. You had told him that you wanted him, that Mason felt wrong. Then, you turned around and kissed him at a party with dozens of people as witnesses. There was no reason to do that unless you wanted to hurt him, and he had no idea what he could have done to deserve something so needlessly cruel.
It had hurt him. Anton may not have been wearing it on his face beyond some tautness and glowering, but he felt it deep in his chest, a crushing throb that ached without end. He had let himself have hope and dared to be honest about his feelings, and that had taken great strength. To think that it was for nothing, only to be taunted in the middle of some party… he felt like a fool. He should have seen it, but even as he looked back he couldn’t determine what might have prompted the shift, only that a shift did happen, and it did so abruptly.
You had seemed more than content with him. Anton might have let himself wonder if he’d made it up, if he had been seeing your happiness because that was what he wanted to see, but the others had noticed it too. They had teased him ruthlessly and asked if he had perhaps done some sort of sorcery. There was no way none of that hadn’t been real, or at least so he had thought. But everything changed when you became distant, and now you were in another man’s arms, and no one could make sense of it, not even his friends.
Maybe he should have approached you and asked you himself. It would have been one thing if you changed your mind after being with him and decided he wasn’t the right fit. Anton would have been hurt, but not so hurt as he was now. You chose to do it in the most brutal way imagined.
When he did finally make it home, he spent hours trying to sleep, but his mind would not grant him that peace. He sighed and got up to don his suit, and went out the window. There’s always crime to fight.
Even after he caught criminals, Mind Man’s words rang out in his head like a mantra. He sat down on the ledge of a rooftop and started to wonder if he was doing any good for this city. There were many people he had saved, he knew that, but it also seemed that he attracted more danger with the name Spider-Man alone. There were people out there that were willing to jeopardize entire boroughs if it meant getting their hands on him. He glanced down at the raging city beneath him, full of people, of history, of life, of pain, of joy, of opportunity. Maybe they would be better off without him.
“Lose your girlfriend, Anton?”
Anton sighed. As if tonight could get no worse. “Mind Man,” he said coolly, “it looks like you’re keeping tabs on me. I’m flattered.”
Mind Man snickered. “I am curious about you, after all.”
No shit, Anton thought. “Yeah, I’m starting to get that. Do you want to date me instead or something? Because I have to admit, this is getting kind of creepy. You know a lot about me, and I don’t even know your real name.”
“Isn’t that what makes this fun?”
“You know, when most people want to have fun, they play games or hang out with friends or get a hobby.”
“Aren’t we friends by now?”
“Not a chance.”
“That cut me, really,” Mind Man said. “Almost as much as your girlfriend cheating on you must have hurt you. I mean, damn. Didn’t you guys just get together two weeks ago? That’s gotta sting. Did you bore her that bad with your moral righteousness?”
“Cut it out,” Anton warned. “You don’t know her. You don’t know why she did it.”
“I don’t need to know her,” Mind Man insisted. “I just need to know you.”
That was the part that made him anxious. Mind Man knew too much about him. No one could have known about you kissing another man unless they were in the room when it happened. If this guy is someone I know... “Who are you, seriously?” Anton asked.
“The mystery kills you, doesn’t it? Who is Mind Man? What did you do wrong? Why did she do that? Was it something you said?”
Anton stood up. “I asked you a question.”
Ignoring him, Mind Man continued, “When will you face the truth? You’re not as important as you think you are. All it takes is one little accident before Spider-Man goes buh-bye. The world might mourn him, but will they mourn Anton? I know your girlfriend won’t.”
“You won’t get rid of me that easily,” Anton told him. He was pushing the right buttons, but Anton couldn’t give him the satisfaction of a victory.
“Maybe I can’t get rid of you. But I can get rid of her.”
Anton’s hand acted before he even knew it. He grabbed Mind Man by the arm. “That’s your second time threatening people in my life. I’m not going to let it slide a third time.”
Mind Man laughed. “Have a good night, Anton.” He wrested his arm away and vanished.
Anton stood there, picturing you at the party tonight, kissing Mason Mooney. As badly as you had wounded him, there was no part of him that was going to let Mind Man hurt you. Not now. Not ever.
The campus library, ANTON POV, 2:12 PM
Anton was in the middle of perfecting a melody when he heard footsteps stopping in front of him.
Before him stood Krystal, a close friend of yours. After the night of the party, you had stopped hanging with the boys altogether. The only time he saw you was when you were with Krystal and Willow or Mason. None of his texts had gone through when he tried to reach out to you, and the boys had said the same was true for them.
“Hey, Krystal,” Anton said cautiously. “Is there something I can do for you?”
Krystal glanced around. “I need to talk to you about ____.”
Anton was stiff. “What about her?”
“I know you’re upset with her because of what happened at the party, and you should be. What she did was wrong. But it was super unlike her. I think something’s seriously wrong with her. She’s been acting like an entirely different person. When you guys got together, she was telling us how much she liked you and how Mason gave her bad vibes, and now he’s all she talks about.”
Anton’s brows furrowed. “Really?”
“Yes,” she said. “Not that long ago, she was normal. And then she was aloof. And, like, a week before the party, Mason gave her this bracelet and she’s been weird ever since. I asked her when she was going to finish A Feast for Crows. She said she doesn’t read fantasy. Willow got her barbecue chips. She said she prefers salt and vinegar.”
“What?” Anton was flabbergasted. “Wait a minute. A bracelet. You mean the purple bracelet she’s been wearing?”
“Yeah. That one.”
Anton was quiet for a moment. “She told me that you gave that to her.”
She looked bemused. “No? She just showed up wearing it one day and said Mason had given it to her.”
“A week before the party?”
“Yeah. Why?”
Motherfucker. Anton shot up in a hurry. “I gotta go. Thanks for telling me this, you have no idea how helpful that is. Bye!” He gathered his things and scurried out.
How could I have been so blind? Anton thought as he ran through the courtyard. It was all right there in his face the whole time. I want to get inside your head. You’re the only person I can’t control. So if I can’t get to you from the inside, I’ll get in from the outside. That was what Mind Man had told him. At first it made no sense to him. But Mind Man always seemed to know a great deal about his life, and he knew about the party. Which would only make sense if he was there himself.
And he was there, holding you, kissing you where he knew Anton would see. He was Mason Mooney.
Anton went straight to your apartment. He was drenched in sweat by the time he got there, but he had to do something. He couldn’t just sit around knowing what he knew. In your bedroom there was a window you kept open. He slipped in through there and crept inside. You were sitting on the couch, watching some show.
Anton stepped forward and said your name. “It’s me.”
You jolted. “What the fuck?”
Anton held up his hands. “Listen, I know how this looks, but I need you to listen to me. That bracelet Mason gave you, I need you to take it off.”
“Absolutely not,” you said. “I love this bracelet!”
Anton was cautious. “It’s a gorgeous bracelet, I can see why you would love it. But can you take it off for just a minute? Please?”
“Stay away from me! I don’t like you anymore. I like Mason.”
Anton’s felt like there was a rope around his heart. “I know you think that’s how you feel. But it’s not. You told me you wanted to be with me. Remember? You told me you weren’t going to see Mason anymore. This isn’t you.”
“This is who I’ve been all along,” you insisted. “Maybe you’re just not as important as you think you are.”
Those were Mind Man’s words. Anton remembered them, because they hit him as hard then as they did now. He took a step closer. “That’s what he said. Just before telling me that he can’t get rid of me, but he can get rid of you. Is that the kind of man you want? The kind that will use you to hurt me?”
“Don’t touch me, I’ll scream!”
Anton surrendered. “Okay. Okay. I’m not touching you. But if you want me to leave, you just have to answer a simple question: what kind of food did we eat when you first invited me over?”
“That doesn’t matter,” you spat.
“It does matter,” Anton replied flatly. “It matters because she would remember that. But you don’t know that. You don’t know anything about her because you’re not her.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re playing a dangerous game, Anton.”
It sounded like something Mind Man would say. “Mason put the bracelet on you to turn you against me,” Anton said. “He’s using it to control what you think and how you feel.”
You walked to the window and opened it. “Stop!”
Anton stilled. “I just want you to take the bracelet off.”
“I’ll sooner die,” you told him, and climbed onto the ledge of the open window.
His heart stopped. “Okay. Okay. I’m leaving. Please come down from there.” He walked backwards to the door. But I’m not giving up on you that easily.
You came down from the window and closed it, and turned to watch him with expectant eyes.
Anton left, but that choice was not a concession. He just had to figure out another way to get to you.
A rooftop in the city, ANTON POV, 12:17 AM
For once Anton was looking for Mind Man, but the only problem was that Mind Man usually came to him, or he drew Anton out where he wanted him.
Tonight was going to be different. Mind Man was good at what he did because he studied Anton thoroughly. When Anton finished patrolling for the night, he sat around on a rooftop nearby to gather his bearings before he headed home. Mind Man must have known that and used it to find him every so often.
Anton did the same thing tonight, except this time he was waiting for him.
Like clockwork, Mind Man materialized from behind him and said, “You look very morose, Anton. Want to talk about it?”
“I’m not in the mood for talking,” Anton said, getting up to his feet. “Fight me.”
He could imagine Mind Man’s smile behind his mask. “What happened? Did someone kill a puppy? Did the thieves get away before you web them to a bench in Central Park?” Mind Man cracked his neck. “It’s been a while since our last dance.”
They traded elementary blows at first, as if warming up to something larger. Anton flung himself up into the air and landed on his hands and feet to dodge an attack; Mind Mind sidestepped his strikes effortlessly.
When Mind Man grew bored of it, he opted for something a little more advanced. The blow came at Anton as quick as light. He leapt off the rooftop and swung out onto another one.
Mind Man followed suit. “Trying to get away, Anton?” he asked with amusement.
Anton said nothing. Mind Man came at him hard, throwing up his arms in an attack that might have made his mouth bleed had it landed. Anton rolled away and charged. Mind Man sidestepped him. He grabbed a flower pot and threw it at Anton.
The pot struck his foot. Anton swore underneath his breath, but Mind Man gave him no time to recover. He picked up another pot and launched it at Anton’s head.
Anton scrambled out of its trajectory and threw himself onto another rooftop. He had only one goal, and it was not winning a fight. Still he did not want to get too badly injured. As Mind Man was on him he pulled a chair towards himself with a string of web and hurled it at him.
Mind Man grunted. He went after Anton again. The assaults were relentless. With every blow Mind Man got on him, Anton leapt out onto another building, and another, and another… until they were on top of the building adjacent to yours.
“Recognize this place?” Anton asked. “Mason?”
Mason looked around. He removed his mask and threw it down. “We’re outside her apartment. Was that your grand plan tonight? I’m not very impressed.”
“Take the bracelet off her,” Anton said.
Mason didn’t look the least bit bothered that Anton knew. If anything, it amused him more. “Why would I do that? She’s mine now, Anton. Mind and body. Just accept that it’s over.”
“I’ll never let you break me,” Anton told him in a tone that left no room for uncertainty.
There was a glimmer of satisfaction in Mason’s eyes. “You can think that, but I know you. I know exactly how to break you down. I know what squeezes at your heart like nothing else. Would you like to hear what we’ve been up to? How she kisses me every night? How she says she loves me? How she begs me to fuck her?”
Anton was abhorred. “You piece of shit. You’re taking advantage of her.”
“Advantage?” Mason grinned. “I’m just giving her what she needs, because let’s face it: she doesn’t need you.”
“Get the bracelet off her,” Anton told him again.
“Why? Doesn’t it look beautiful on her? Maybe I should add something else to complement it. A necklace, or a ring. What do you think?”
“I think you’re pathetic,” Anton said with a sharpness that surprised himself. “I think that you have some sick obsession with me. I think you have an amazing power, but the only thing you can think to do with it is force someone to do things you know they would never do otherwise. I think you need me to satisfy your ego because you can’t accept that you don’t like the person you are when you’re not wearing that suit. And the fact that I have a life, that I have people who love me with or without mine, feels like a personal affront.”
Mason’s smile fell. “Watch your mouth, spider.”
The sound of a window drawing open distracted Anton long enough for Mason to strike him in the side. Anton stumbled back, grunting in pain.
You poked your head outside the window. “Mason?”
Mason waved at you. “Hey, babe. Miss me?”
Anton leaned over the rooftop and said your name. “Take the bracelet off. Please.”
“I’m never taking it off. This is my favorite bracelet,” you told him, crossing your arms. “How do you even know my name?”
Anton remembered that he was masked. She doesn’t know who I am. Right now, he wasn’t Anton to you.
Mason laughed. “Do you want to tell her, ‘Spider-Man’, or should I?”
No. She might not listen to me, Mason’s made sure of that. But she might listen to Spider-Man.
“I know things about Mason,” Anton started. “I know what he does to people. He’s been involved in murders, robberies, all those elaborate crimes you see on the news. And that bracelet he gave you, he didn’t give it to you to make you happy. He gave it to you to control your thoughts.”
“What?” Your brows were stitched. “Mason wouldn’t do that. He loves me.”
“Exactly, babe,” Mason agreed. “Don’t listen to this moron. He’s just trying to get in your head. He’s jealous and he can’t stand that you chose me. That bracelet is a gift, a symbol of what we have. You don’t need to take it off for anyone.”
Anton didn’t give up. “Think about it. If it’s just a harmless bracelet, why is he so adamant on you not taking it off? Isn’t that suspicious to you?”
You thought about it. “Mason… are you scared of me taking it off?”
Mason’s confidence was wavering. “Scared? No, baby. That’s ridiculous. I just don’t like seeing you doubt us. He’s putting stuff in your head. You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
Your eyes narrowed. “I’m taking it off for just a second, okay?”
Mason moved to stop you, but before he could even reach the edge of the rooftop, the bracelet was tugged off your wrist. He froze. Anton did too, watching, waiting, his heart racing. Please. Remember…
You stood still, but your eyes changed with a different awareness, and began to water. You looked down at your hands and flexed your fingers. A sigh of relief escaped you. “Oh my god.”
Anton smiled beneath his mask. He could have cried himself.
“No,” Mason said. In a rage, he leapt at your window, grabbed a hold of you, and threw you into the air.
Your scream cut through the night.
Anton moved on nothing but instinct. He dove after you and strung a web around your waist to catch you. When you were secure, he reeled you down onto a fire escape. “You’re okay. You’re okay. I promise.”
You glanced up at him. “Spider-Man?” Your chest was undulating.
“I’ve got you,” Anton whispered, kneeling beside you. “Are you okay?”
Your eyes were wet. “I need… I need to call my boyfriend… and my friends… but this is crazy, they won’t believe me. I was acting so different, but I wasn’t trying to. I couldn’t stop it. It’s like I was possessed or something.”
Anton’s voice was gentle. “They’ll believe you. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He reluctantly lifted his mask. “It’s me.”
Your body went still. “Anton?”
“Yeah,” he murmured. “Mason found out who I was somehow. He targeted you to get to me. I’m so sorry.”
You cried harder. “I didn’t want to do those things. I couldn’t stop it. I’m really sorry, Anton, I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“No. No. Listen to me. What he did is not your fault. That wasn’t you. It was him,” Anton told you. He wiped your eyes.
“I wanted to take it off so badly. Shotaro’s pissed at me. Sohee too.”
Anton reached for your hand and squeezed it. “They were concerned because they recognized that you weren’t acting like yourself. Once they get the full story, they’re going to be pissed at Mason, not you.” He kissed your forehead. “Sohee already knows that I’m Spider-Man. Explaining it to him will be the easiest. We’ll figure out Shotaro. Okay?”
You nodded. “Are you sure you’re not mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you at all,” Anton said. “If anything, I’m mad at myself. I should have realized it sooner. I knew that you weren’t being yourself. But I spent so long being mad at you that I didn’t connect the dots and now he’s done God knows what to you.”
You reached out to hold him. “What are you going to do about Mason?”
Anton turned around. Mason was gone. He had been so focused on saving you that everything else in the world became secondary. “I know who he is now. He’s not going to get away with it and he’s not going to touch you ever again. I just have to call in a favor.”
“With who?”
Anton grinned. “You have a lot to catch up on. Come on. Let’s get you inside. And then tomorrow, we’ll tell the boys together.”
Sohee’s apartment, NO CHARACTER POV, 1:33 PM
Sohee and Shotaro were gathered on the couch with cups of coffee, their eyes fixed to the television as the news played. “Mind Man, revealed to be twenty-two-year-old NYU student Mason Mooney, has been taken into special custody. Authorities apprehended him last night after allegedly being tipped off by Spider-Man.”
Sohee turned to Shotaro. “Wait. That’s the guy.”
Shotaro was stunned. “What the hell?”
Given the ludicrousness of the situation, Anton had advised waiting until after the news broke out to tell the boys what happened. With that part of it already out in the open, there was no doubt that they would believe you.
Half an hour later, there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it,” Shotaro said. He went up to the door and glanced through the peephole. You were standing there with Anton. Shotaro opened the door. “Well, this is unexpected.”
“Who is it?” Sohee called out.
“____ and Anton.”
“What? Together?”
Shotaro widened the door. He was wary, but the fact that you were both there meant something had changed since the last time he saw either of you. “Come in. Sohee’s in the living room.”
You and Anton walked into the living room hand in hand.
Sohee noticed your hands instantly. He glanced at Anton, silently communicating his bemusement, but Anton said nothing. Sohee said your name. “Did you decide to stop hating us now that your boyfriend’s in ‘special custody?’”
You rubbed your neck. “About that…”
“Yeah. About that,” Shotaro echoed. He dropped back onto the couch. “Care to explain what the past week and half have been about?”
You looked at Anton.
“It’s okay,” he said, squeezing your hand.
You braced yourself. “Mason came over to my apartment one day. He said he understood I didn’t want to continue seeing him, but he wanted to give me one final gift. A bracelet. I didn’t really want it, but he asked me to at least try it on. So I did. I didn’t think that a bracelet could hurt me. I was very wrong… he used it to control my mind and get into my head. Everything I said and did after that day, that wasn’t stuff I was choosing to do. I didn’t choose to kiss Mason in the middle of the party. I didn’t choose to say those awful things to Shotaro. I didn’t choose to ignore Sohee’s messages. But I was helpless to stop it.”
Whatever bit of anger Shotaro might have felt washed away and suddenly he just felt terrible for you. “What? That’s… insane.”
“But it explains everything,” Sohee continued. “Aw, man. I’m really sorry that happened to you. I knew that shit was weird. You wouldn’t do that kind of thing.”
“So you guys are back together?” Shotaro asked.
“Yes,” Anton said, keeping you close to him. “Now that I know the truth, it’s impossible to be mad at her.”
You nodded. “I’m really sorry about how I treated you guys.”
“You didn’t do that,” Shotaro said. “This changes everything. Mason’s more of a dipshit than I thought.”
“Yeah,” you muttered. “He is.”
Sohee smiled softly. “Well, it’s good to know my gossiping buddy is back to normal. Every time something happened, I kept wanting to text you, but then I remembered you hated us for some reason.”
You gasped. “Wait, what? What happened? Did I miss a lot? Are you dating the Zoe girl now?”
Anton snickered. “See. She’s back.”
“It’s a long story,” Sohee said. He patted the spot beside himself. “Let’s get you up to speed.”
Anton’s apartment, YOUR POV, 9:04 PM
That night, you were laying on Anton’s chest in his bed, playing with his hair. “I’m definitely gonna need therapy, but you know what makes me feel better about this whole situation?”
Anton’s arm was curled around your waist. It made you feel safe in a way you hadn’t since Mason put that bracelet on your wrist. “Yeah. What is it?” he asked softly.
“Spider-Man is handsome beneath the mask,” you said. You ran a hand under his shirt. “And ripped too.”
A laugh broke through him. “Really? That’s what makes you feel better?” His eyes were soft. “What a relief. I mean, I was starting to worry I’d have to keep the mask on forever in case you found me ugly.”
“No, the mask and suit stays on during sex,” you quipped, “but you don’t need it.”
Anton shook his head. “You’re a freak. I should have never told you that I was Spider-Man. You read fanfiction about me.”
“Oh my god, when I was a teenager,” you groaned. “Not better than the real thing, though.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah.” You kissed his nose. “Even though this has been the craziest month of my life by far, I’m really glad I met you.”
Anton was grinning. “I’m really glad I met you too.”
anton’s video with youngji dragged me out of my hibernation!!!
boyfriend/ex-boyfriend anton. insecure reader. micro-cheating and plausible macro-cheating (up to the reader’s interpretation). dom!reader and sub!anton. oral (f receiving).
“Baby, come on,” Anton whined.
“Absolutely not,” you said, arms crossed defiantly. A whole fourteen days had come and gone, and you were still as furious, if not more, than you were the first day. “Go to hell.” You shoved the door.
Anton caught it with his free hand. In the other he was holding a special edition hardcover of Red Rising by Pierce Brown. “Are you really going to punish me like this?” he asked. “I told you that she’s just a friend.”
“Before that you said you didn’t know her,” you reminded him.
“I was confused,” Anton explained. “Look. I got this for you.”
You had already glimpsed the book, and were trying to ignore it for fear that if you let yourself think too hard on it you might fold. A few days before you sent Anton away to live out a life of debauchery as he might have pleased, you’d mentioned wanting to add it to your lengthy collection of novels. It would have taken nothing for you to get it yourself, but you couldn’t deny that, despite yourself, the fact he’d remembered, that he’d truly paid attention, did make your heart flutter.
But then you remembered Alexa, the beautiful Lao girl in Anton’s music history class that he had always been too friendly with for your comfort, how he always liked her half naked Instagram photos, how he looked at her at parties, how he let her touch his arms and tell him how big his biceps had gotten as if there was nothing out of the ordinary.
At times it made you nauseous. Your stomach would churn, twisting with an unease that left you unable to sit still for more than a few seconds, and the sickness mounted to your head, making you wonder if he found her more attractive. She was tall, taller than you by far, and slender as a blade, with a smile that brightened her entire face. When you had the thought of him leaving you to be with her, your heart would race with a pounding terror.
And so naturally you turned to the only feasible option that remained: leave him before he could leave you. And so you did, because at least that way, you were in control of your own suffering, and he didn’t get to dispose of you now that he’d arbitrarily decided you weren’t good enough for him.
You had been doing well. You had ignored his frequent calls, his incessant messages, his empty apologies. You had told yourself that no matter what he did you would not take him back.
To be fair, you had not imagined he would show up at your door in the dead of night holding a book you’d been dying for the chance to read.
You looked at the book again. “You got me a book. So what?”
“So I want you to take it,” Anton said, “and put it on your shelf.”
You reached out and took the book from his hands. “Thanks. Goodbye.” You tried to close the door again.
Unfortunately, Anton was very strong, and it was not hard for him to stop you. “Can I come in?” he asked. His brown eyes were glimmering as he peered down at you, or perhaps you were imagining it, and his lips, pink and pouty, were as tempting as you remembered.
A problem presented itself, then: it took much longer than two weeks to forget how to love someone that had become the center of your universe, to forget how it felt to hold him in your arms and feel his body pressed against yours, to forget how soothing his voice sounded in the quiet hours between night and day when it felt like you were the only two people in all the world and nothing else mattered.
At last, you surrendered. “Fine,” you said, and turned into the apartment. You placed the book on your shelf in the living room.
Anton smiled as he watched you put the book away. He put his hands in his pockets. “I miss you, baby.”
For some reason you doubted that. “Do you?”
“Of course I do,” he said as if it were obvious. “I’ve been calling and calling you. You won’t even respond to my texts. That’s fucked up.”
You scoffed. “I’m fucked up? You do realize that we broke up, right? Why would I talk to you?”
“We didn’t break up,” Anton insisted. “Just because you’re in your feelings about something I didn’t even do doesn’t mean we broke up.”
“Wow,” you said, amazed by his audacity. “So I guess you think it’s completely normal for you to like pictures of other girls in bikinis and let them flirt with you while I’m in the same room.”
Anton sighed. “It’s not other girls, it’s one girl, and she’s my friend. Why wouldn’t I like her pictures? And even if she was flirting with me, which she wasn’t, it’s not like I was flirting with her. Why are you so insecure?”
“It’s your job as my boyfriend to be conscious of what you’re doing so that I’m not insecure,” you retorted.
Anton grinned from ear to ear. “So you agree that we’re still together?”
You dragged your hands down your face. He was missing the point entirely.
Anton softened. He advanced towards you and gingerly placed his hands on your hips. “Baby, look at me.” Reluctantly your eyes glanced up to meet his. “I love you. Okay? You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, and there’s no one I would choose over you.”
Your eyes were misty. “Do you mean that?”
“You know I do, sweet girl,” Anton said. He wiped your eyes with his thumb, and you felt his large hand cup your face. “Can I show you how much I mean it?”
Weakly, defenselessly, you caved.
Anton led you to your own bedroom, hand in hand. He knew his way around by heart, and by now it was his home as much as it was yours. There were traces of him left in his wake that you had not had the heart to get rid of, his clothes in his designated drawer, photos of you two on various outings, his soap in your bathroom that smelled of him, the snacks you kept in your kitchen solely because he liked them.
He laid you on the bed and erected himself over your body, coming down enough that your lips were in perfectly great reach, and you closed your eyes with the expectation that they would meet, but when you opened them again he was only looking at you. Anton smiled. He brushed his lip against yours, so tenderly it almost would have made no difference than if he’d not touched you at all, and, when he was ready, joined your lips together.
For the first time, you realized how much you’d missed him. You knew that you had not felt the same since you sent him away, that his absence had not been the solution you’d hoped for, but only when he kissed you did it dawn on you how little you wanted to let go of him. It was why you had been so terrified. If he left, there was still many a girl that would take your place, that would eagerly mount him and do all the things that were meant for you. But there was no other option for you. What could you do with some other boy when the one you wanted most of all was already here on top of you, kissing your breath away?
“Sit up for a second, pretty girl,” Anton said.
When you came up, he gathered the bottom of your tank top in his hands and tugged it over your head. You went back down and raised your hips without his prompting. He reached for your shorts and panties at one time and pulled them off together.
Now you were bare before him, bare to your core, bare in ways that went beyond bearing your flesh to him. You were suddenly very aware of your own nudity. Anton had seen you naked many times before, he had done more than that, been inside you as deep as he could reach, but you were wondering what he saw when he looked at your raw self, if there was anything that he would have wanted to change. If your boobs were too big or too small, if your waist was not thin enough, your hips not wide, if perhaps your stomach was not lean enough for his liking, if…
“You’re so beautiful,” Anton said, void of breath. “Goddamn.”
You wanted him to say it again, but you did not want him to continue thinking you were insecure. So you did what you always did when vulnerability was not an option; you took control. “Say it again,” you said firmly.
Anton obliged. “You’re beautiful. My gorgeous girl. I can’t take my eyes off you.” He caressed your hips up and down. “I missed this pretty body so much.”
“Then show me,” you commanded.
Anton did not need to be told twice. He lowered himself above you again. When his lips found your neck, you felt your heart hammering. You were sensitive there. Anton licked and sucked at the skin, encouraged by that imperceptible sound of your hitched breath, and after that, he descended to your breasts and took one nipple into his mouth. A soft noise came out of you. His tongue swirled around with intention, familiar with your body, with what made you unravel. With his hand he fondled the other breast, which was equally appreciated.
The nipple he’d been sucking was wet with his saliva when he pulled up. “Does that feel good?” he asked.
You were aware he already knew the answer, and you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of affirming it to him with words. “Shut up,” you said. “Did I tell you to stop? Keep going. Matter of fact, hurry up and eat me out.”
Anton chuckled. “Yes, ma’am.” He continued the descent, leaving behind a trail of kisses down your abdomen until he finally reached your thighs. He spread them and took his place in between.
You felt yourself coming to life with anticipation, and there was a pulsing sensation between your parted legs. I miss him, you thought. I miss him so much, holy fuck.
Anton could be thoughtful when it served him. He may not have had the discernment to recognize when something he did made his girlfriend terribly jealous, but you could not say that he did not know you, that he had not taken the time to learn your body, and, to an extent, your mind. Only a few men had been able to please you, and Anton had won the title of best by far.
And so when his mouth came down on your pussy and he began to lick and suck at you, every thought in your mind was shoved to the deepest corner of its existence. He knew when to lick, when to suck, how to shape his tongue, and all of the minutiae of the act of pleasure that made your thighs tighten around his head.
Anton gripped your thighs in his hands, his big, heavy hands, and went to town. You loved when he did that. It was anchoring its own weird way, and it made you feel close to him, and wanted. He wanted to be there, making love to you with his tongue, and now more than ever, you needed the comfort of believing that.
“Like that,” you gasped out. It came out more desperate than intended. “Don’t fucking stop.”
Anton kept on. Your hips involuntarily jerked into his mouth, but none of it deterred him; if anything, he became more active. Your toes curled when he introduced a pair of fingers inside your cunt, his fingers, long and thick, stretching you in ways that your own fingers never quite measured up to.
And you had tried every substitution you could think of in his absence that did not require another human, but all of them failed to take you there the way he was taking you there now with just his hands and mouth.
The room felt too hot to breathe in. Even Anton was getting worked up, and you noticed he had begun to grind against the bed. “Cut that out,” you said, trying to make your voice level. “What are you, a dog? Wait for it like a man.”
It took something in him, but Anton stopped. Words formed in his mouth, but you only processed them as vibrations against your core.
“Fuck. I’m so close,” you told him. “Make me come.”
Anton must have taken it as a challenge, because he pulled out all the stops and every trick in the book he knew to unravel you on his tongue, and in record time you were gripping his hair as the pleasure mounted to a peak. Only then, when the ecstasy erupted through every corner of your body and you laid there slack and sated, did Anton pry away.
His cock was immensely hard. The print of it pressed against his pants, on the verge of escape. “Please, baby. Please touch my dick. I need you so bad.”
“Yeah?” you were breathless, but that never stopped anything. “Take your pants off.”
Anton moved in a hurry. In an instant he tugged his pants down, and his underwear too while he was at it. He was bare from the hips down, and his cock was standing tall at attention. He crept near you, eagerly stroking himself in his hands. “Fuck. Please. I’m so hard for you.”
For me. Yes, me. And only me. “Why should I touch it?” you asked with feigned indifference. “You don’t even care about my feelings.”
“No, I do,” Anton promised, “On my mother I swear it, I do. I’m sorry, baby girl, I’m so, so sorry. Shit...” His hand was moving faster around his cock. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll block her, I’ll never talk to her again, just please, touch me…”
You resisted the urge to laugh. “Stop touching yourself.”
Anton groaned, but his hand froze around his cock. His eyes were glossy as he looked at you. “Baby, don’t do this to me. Don’t torture me like this. I told you, you’re the only girl I want. Can I please be inside you?”
“No,” you said. “Beg for it first.”
So he did. “Please. Please let me fuck you. I need to be inside you so bad. I’ve been losing my mind for two weeks, holy fucking shit. Touching myself thinking about your perfect fucking pussy, how wet and tight you feel around me.” He forced his hand away from his cock, because he knew that if he kept it there, he wouldn’t be able to obey you for long. “It’s fucking tormenting. I never want to be away from you that long again. Please don’t do that to me. Yell at me. Cuss at me. Hit me, fuck, I don’t care. Just don’t leave ne. I can’t take it. Just want to feel my girl…”
You might have resisted him a little longer, but the problem was that his words were working you up so hard that you wanted him inside you just as eagerly. “Fine,” you said. “Fuck me.”
Anton was relieved. You had never seen him dig through your nightstand drawer so fast. In a blink he had tugged the condom down his length and positioned himself between your legs. He spread them apart again, and you felt him lining himself up at your entrance, and finally he pressed inside.
“Oh, fuck,” Anton choked out. “Oh, fuck. You feel too good.”
More often than not, Anton liked to take his time with you, but there was a sense of urgency in the way he filled you. He clasped your hips in his hands and watched himself disappear between your legs entirely, amazed as if it was the first time.
“Can I—can I move?” Anton asked.
You nodded.
A breath left him and he started to fuck you, setting a tempo that was not slow but also not outrageously fast. When you reached for his arms, his eyes finally drifted up from your cunt to your face, and he leaned low, bringing your hands to his shoulders. “I love you,” he whispered. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” you murmured, despite yourself.
Anton smiled. “Good,” he said. “You’re so pretty like this. Taking me. Did you miss me, baby girl?”
“Maybe,” you confessed softly. He felt magical, pressed so deep inside you, filling you with a thickness that was mind-numbing.
“Maybe?” Anton repeated, his voice becoming a little shrill with amusement. “That’s it? You don’t miss my dick? You’re clenching around me like you do…”
“Hush,” you huffed. “Don’t push your luck.”
Anton moaned. “I’m already the luckiest man in the world.” He pressed his forehead against yours. “I get to be right here inside you. Feel how wet you are for me. Hear you say my name.”
That did something, to your pussy and to your heart. “Yeah… don’t forget that.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Anton grunted. “And just so we’re clear: you’re definitely still my girl. Not letting you go anywhere. Not when you feel like this.”
“Mmhm,” you agreed. “Still yours. And you’re mine.”
“I’m yours,” Anton promised. He captured your lips in a searing kiss.
a little drabble inspired by this tweet that i saw 😵💫
You should have been excited. Or nervous, for that matter. You should have been excessively thinking about all the things that could have gone wrong. After all, your mother could be reckless with her tongue. And for weeks you had been dreading this day, though you had put it off for long enough.
But all you could think about when you saw Anton standing there in your parents house was how good he looked in those clothes, and how badly you wanted to take them off him.
Clad in a grey blazer, a lighter button-up shirt with the pants to match and loafers, he had dressed to impress. When your eyes settled on him, every concern drained from your body, replaced with a violent surge of arousal.
You had warned Anton in advance that your mother was a curt speaker, that your father was painfully overprotective, that they would probably ask him things that were ignorant in nature. What you had not warned him about, however, was that you were going to sneak kisses when your parents left the room. Though to be fair, he didn’t warn you that he was going to be so impeccably dressed that it would get your mouth watering.
“Baby,” he murmured quietly, glancing up over your head at the door your parents had walked out of. One of his arms was woven around your waist. “You’re getting lip gloss all on me.”
You giggled. “I thought you liked my lip gloss on you.”
“You know I do,” he said, “but I don’t want to look like a lustful boyfriend that can’t keep his hands off their daughter for a few moments while her parents have their backs turned.”
“I’ll tell them I’m the one that can’t control herself,” you said, and pressed another kiss to his lips. You pulled away to take in the sight of him. “Even though it’s your fault. Over here looking all sexy and shit, like you just want me to kiss you.”
Anton noticed your… appreciative gaze. “Is that what this is about?”
“Obviously. You look hot.”
After that, your parents returned, and the conversation ended there, but Anton kept that confession in mind until later that evening when your parents went to bed, and you took him to your childhood bedroom.
When the door shut behind yourselves, you gave up on self restraint and kissed him with abandon in between removing every article of clothing from the body you had been desperate to see all day long. You could taste the dinner your mother made on him, and found it endearing. Then you thought about the taste of his cock lingering in your mouth the last time you were intimate together, and that only made the fire within you spread.
You were both down to nothing but underwear. Anton pushed you against the wall and sucked your breast into his mouth. “Fuck,” you said. “You know how much I like that.”
His words were muffled, but you knew him well enough to guess what he would say. That’s the point. You closed your eyes for a moment, bit your lip. The last thing you wanted was for your parents to hear you getting it on with your boyfriend. You knew this was a bad idea, but you couldn’t wait anymore. “This is all your fault,” you grumbled.
“My fault?” Anton said when he pulled away. He stuck his hand in your panties, soaked his long fingers in your wetness, and curled a pair inside you. “This is my fault, baby?”
Your eyes were winced shut now. “God, yes,” you whispered.
He smiled, faintly smug. “Then I guess I have to finish what I started.”
Anton’s idea of “finishing what he started” involved having you face down on your mattress while he pounded into you from behind.
There was probably a billion Sanrio characters on your bed being forced to witness Anton pressing you down with his right hand on your neck and his left on your hips (and by the end of it, you felt very sorry to have traumatized them all), but all you could think about was how perfectly he fit inside you.
“Damn, you feel perfect,” Anton gasped. It was all he could do to be quiet. “So perfect.”
“Toni,” you said, trying to lift your head so that you could speak, but he wouldn’t let you.
“Quiet, baby,” he whispered, pushing you back down a little harder. “You don’t want your parents to hear you calling out for me, do you?”
“No,” you moaned.
“Then we have to keep it down.” Even as he said it, you could hear how much he hated it, but tomorrow you would be leaving, and he could have you as loudly as he pleased.
“But you feel too good,” you whined.
“Do I?” he asked coyly, grinning, although you couldn’t see with your face pressed into the sheets. “My gorgeous girl feels even better.”
My gorgeous girl. You throbbed around him. You were a sucker for praise, especially in that soft, quiet voice of his. “Say it again.”
“My gorgeous girl,” Anton whispered without hesitating as he moved within you, struggling to keep his mouth closed. “My perfect, gorgeous girl, taking me like you were made for it. I love you so much.”
You felt lighthearted. “Don’t stop,” you pleaded.
Anton laughed in amusement. “Trust me, babe, when we get out of here, I’m going to make my pretty girl make all those pretty sounds I know she’s capable of. Does that sound good?”
“Fuck.”
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he murmured, squeezing your hips.
ur literally my favourite writer rn, i loveddddd ur last two anton ones omgjdhdbfh like they're so intimate and well written. not just some brainless smut YGWIM😭. patiently seated for all your upcoming masterpieces 🤞
whattttt, thank you so much! i spent all day finishing it (not even exaggerating), so this makes me happy 😭🩵
could u write something about anton acting really nonchalant but secretly being extremelyyy perverted, like the first time that you hang out with him is normal but as you get to know him you realize he’s freaked out and he acts really innocent whenever that type of topic comes up but then one day he accidentally admits he wants to do something insanely dirty with you
idk i just need more secret freak anton content!
as an undercover freak, i know a fellow undercover freak when i see one and anton definitely meets the criteria. also i lowkirkuienly ignored the word nonchalant in here. so sorry
5.2k, big dick anton, unprotected sex, switch(?) anton (i don’t actually know he, i interpreted it as him being slightly manipulative but i don’t think he cares that much), oral (f) receiving, recording. also i know there’s a bunch of capitalization errors, i typed it in lc first then got lazy while editing
Every other weekend when no one was too busy, Shotaro threw one of his parties.
In truth, they were more like small gatherings with close friends and perhaps a few friends of their own that he knew, if he was expecting to be short a couple of the usual crew.
That was how you got invited this Saturday. Riku, Sion, and Taesan were all away on some exploit that went unexplained to you, and Shotaro charged Wonbin with the task of picking a handful of other people to invite over. One of those people ended up being you, and you were pleased to know you’d been hastily approved of.
“There's actually someone I've been meaning to introduce you to,” Shotaro said when he called you over the phone to personally invite you himself.
That had your attention. “Who?” you asked. You and Shotaro were not particularly close, but he was always a delight to be around, and given that he was inviting you to one of his intimate gatherings, it seemed the feeling was mutual.
“Do you know Anton?”
You hummed. “um, I've heard Wonbin mention him a few times in passing. He's friends with Sohee, right?”
“Yeah. Anyway, I think you guys would really get along. He's super passionate about music, like you, it’s basically his whole life. He's always got his macbook on him so he can listen to music or make something. and he’s super chill. I'm sure you’d like him. Everyone likes Anton.”
You listened attentively. This Anton, whoever he was, seemed like your time of guy. “Yeah, he sounds cool. I'd love to meet him. I can't give you a definitive answer right now, but I can text you like two days before to let you know if I can make it or not.”
“Sounds good,” Shotaro said smoothly. “talk to you later.”
“peace,” you said, and hung up.
That week, you had a handful of late sessions, but you managed to get into one that ran a little earlier, and Saturday night, you arrived at one of the local pubs Shotaro and his friends frequented when his apartment wouldn’t do justice to the amount of people he was intent on having.
Shotaro noticed the second you arrived and came over to you with a smile on his face and two drinks in hand. “You made it,” he said, handing a bottle over. “Strawberry cider, right?”
You grinned. “Yeah, thanks.” You popped the bottle open. “glad I could make it.”
Shotaro brought his own drink to his lips. “professor not treating you too badly, is he?”
“Just trying to prepare us for the real world,” you drawled. you took a sip. The drink was cold and sweet, just the way you liked it.
Shotaro nodded. “should i introduce you to Anton now, or would you rather me do it later?”
you shrugged. “We can get it out of the way. I know you have hosting duties to attend to.”
“it’s no trouble,” he said, “but if you insist, I can take you to him now. Follow me.”
You trailed behind him, briefly greeting some familiar faces as you passed them on the way to the mysterious stranger he was set on having you meet. There were strings of lights hanging overhead to keep out the darkness as the sun let the moon take its place in the sky. Laughter and chatter was a constant thing all around you, and something about the casualness of it all put you at ease.
Beneath a particularly bright set of lights, Sohee was talking to a tall, lean specimen of a man who you could only assume was the Anton Shotaro had spoken so highly of. He was golden beneath the yellow hue of the lights, sporting a shirt that was tight around his chest and arms. When his eyes lowered to yours, brown and probing, you felt like all your secrets had been laid bare for all the world to see.
“Hey, Anton. this is the music prod major i was talking to you about,” Shotaro said. He turned to you and said your name. “This is Anton.”
Anton smiled, and for a second you felt like you could breathe again, before the perfect curve of his lips stole your breath away too. “Nice to meet you. Shotaro says you love music.”
The smile found its way to your face on its own. “to say the least. he told me you do too.”
Anton nodded. “to say the least,” he echoed.
Shotaro threw a look, and the two slipped away.
You wracked your brain for something to say, because there was no way you were going to bore this perfectly handsome man to death. damn Shotaro for not mentioning that Anton was breathtaking. “so, where does all of that love come from?” you asked, bringing the drink to your mouth for another sip.
“Well, my dad’s a producer, so I kind of grew up around music,” Anton explained.
Your eyes widened a little bit. “What, that’s neat. My dad was a rapper.”
“Really?” Anton asked. His eyes hadn’t left yours since he set sight on you. It was making you nervous. “Do you rap too?”
You laughed and shook your head. “oh, no, no. no. I prefer to work behind the scenes. Seeing everything work together to come together and paint one big picture, and tell one beautiful story, that’s what I like. and making music in and of itself is a really collaborative process, so it makes me remember how important it is to have other people around in my life, you know?” you sound so stupid, it’s crazy, you thought to yourself.
Anton's smile seemed to widen. “Yeah, I know,” he said. “Maybe we should work together sometime.”
“Really?”
“Shotaro tells me you’re really good, and Wonbin said so as well.”
You scoffed. “They're just being nice. Most of the time I'm just doing shit and I hate it. all i do is abuse synths and delay.”
Anton chuckled. He tapped a ring-adorned finger against his lips, which naturally drew your attention there, and it dawned on you just how long they were. His hand was huge, just like the rest of him. “i get that.”
Your eyes darted away, here and there, there and here. “it’s always nice to talk to someone who does. i have friends that still ask about my music even though they don’t know anything about it, because they’re not dickheads, so i’ll bring up percs and they’ll think i’m talking about percocets.”
Anton closed his eyes and laughed. “Well, you know, it’s almost been ten years since 2017. mask off.”
You sighed. “Don't remind me. I swear last year was just 2019. 2019 was seven years ago.”
“That doesn’t sound right at all,” Anton said.
“At all!” you agreed.
And for another half hour, it was just you and Anton beneath the silver stars and golden fairy lights. You even followed each other on instagram, which made you realize how many followers he had.
"How'd it go?” Shotaro asked when you were alone again.
“better than I thought,” you said. “he’s cool, like you said.”
Shotaro was beaming. he nudged your side playfully. “You're welcome.”
There were suspicions boiling underneath that you hadn’t let surface yet. "Is that what this is about?” you asked, crossing your arms. “you’re trying to play cupid?”
Shotaro was coy. “I don't know what you mean. I was just helping two friends meet people they might enjoy the company of. What happens from there on out is out of my hands…”
“Right,” you murmured, shaking your head. “I’m sure you’ll find a way to get a finger or two involved.”
Shotaro laughed and dismissed himself, claiming he needed to check on his other guests.
Two days later, Anton had posted a picture of a very tiny cupcake with his hand beside it. He tagged Sohee in the post, but the only thing you could fix yourself to think about was how insanely large his hands were. His fingers were long and slender, a little pink around the knuckles, and his veins ran down the back of his hand beneath his skin like a green river.
You stared at the picture too long before coming to your senses and liking the post, ignoring the fact that you could feel yourself faintly throbbing as you thought about how deep his fingers could reach, and what they could make you feel.
Oh my god, you thought. I need to die.
just your luck, the day after that, you saw him again. Shotaro and Wonbin invited you out for lunch, which you thought was suspiciously abrupt, but then Wonbin mentioned Anton would be in attendance too, and everything made sense.
What made even more sense was that the two of them sat together, which forced you to sit beside Anton while you ate your dumplings.
Anton asked, “are they good?”
you nodded happily. “if only Eunseok were here.”
Wonbin laughed. “those two give each other a run for their money.”
“thank god Sungchan is busy,” you said. “he plays entirely too much. I don't need him trying to steal my shit.”
Shotaro finished chewing. “He had class with Sohee, right?” he asked. He turned to Anton. “Speaking of Sohee, what were you guys doing when you decided to post a thirst trap?”
Anton smiled timidly and looked away. “I wasn't thirst-trapping.”
“You were definitely thirsttrapping,” Wonbin teased.
Anton threw his head back, and for a second you swore he glanced your way, then his eyes darted around again. “Let me explain. There were two boxes of cupcakes, the small ones and the big ones, and Sohee and I competed for the big one, but he won.”
Wonbin snickered. “Did you let him win?”
Anton shook his head. “Of course not.” but even as he said that, everyone knew he was lying.
As you were leaving, the bill paid and your goodbyes bid, Anton stopped you on the way to your car. “Hey. I have some beats you might like. You could always come check them out.”
Oh, he was serious about that, you thought, somewhat surprised. “Yeah, that sounds good,” you told him, grinning a little too hard. “when were you thinking?”
“I’m free this weekend,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
“Okay, I'll check my schedule,” you said. “I'll DM you?”
Anton nodded. “great. let me walk you to your car.”
And he did. He followed you across the parking lot and opened the door for you, ever the gentleman. “and they say chivalry is dead,” you said.
Anton chuckled. “get home safe.” When the door closed after you, he walked away.
That weekend, you were not free, but you rid yourself of all obligations solely so that you could be alone with him. It was far from your proudest moment, but some things were more important.
Anton texted you the address of his family home, and when you arrived, led you down the studio he had. “this is where i raised,” he said lightheartedly.
You glanced around. It was a very lovely, cozy studio. “ah, yes. Who needs a village when you have a computer, microphones, and monitors?”
Anton chuckled. “speaking of which…” he trailed off, guiding you over to the computer.
The first few minutes were spent listening to some beats he wanted you to hear, and you were appreciative of what you were listening to. The third one he played spoke to you for some reason, though he had meant to click on another, and you blurted, “wait, let this one play through.”
Anton obliged, watching you listen, bobbing your head along. After a moment, he asked, “do you like this one?”
“Yeah,” you said, your brain already bulging with ideas. “I want to add a bass though. I have an idea.”
Anton nodded over to the bass guitar hanging in the corner of the room. “i play bass.”
That was when things started getting serious. He went to grab the bass, and you shared your thoughts, making sounds that he would emulate. For a moment you watched his fingers as he played, but there were other things on your mind, and you had to get those ideas out before they escaped you indefinitely.
“That’s fire,” you ended up saying. “I want to add a synth over it.”
Anton showed you some plugins he had. “you’ll want to check this out.”
A couple of hours went by, but when you were in your zone, you hardly paid attention to how much time was passing. By now you were tweaking the project to add percs, delay, and ultimately settled on layering stacked chords over the drums.
When you and Anton let the track play, both of you were impressed with yourselves. “you’re a genius,” he said softly.
you shook your head. “teamwork makes the dream work.”
Anton seemed to agree. “I didn't want to say this earlier, because I didn't want to disrupt the flow,” he started, “but you smell really good.”
your face felt hot. “Thank you.”
for a moment after that, it was silent.
Then, Anton asked in a whisper, “Can I kiss you?”
That was the moment you realized you weren’t deluding yourself about him being into you. His eyes were on you—piercing and unrelenting—and shortly after, his lips were too.
It was a tentative kiss at first. Anton was merely testing the waters, feeling you react against him, and his confidence grew as he went on, his lips still tender, but his movements more assured.
you let it happen. Your heart was speeding out of your chest and your body felt light as a cloud. It was a pleasant sensation, one you found you didn’t want to go away now or ever.
What caught you by surprise was how Anton took the lead in the matter. He pressed you against the wall. as the seconds ticked by, his kisses grew more passionate, and you fought to keep up as he kissed you with abandon. his lips parted from yours to journey down your jaw and neck, a moment of respite so that you both could breathe, then he was on you again, and your fingers were threading through his hair.
“Anton,” you gasped, but the sound was swallowed whole.
“shit,” he groaned. His hands were gripping your hips.
you could feel him growing erect against your thigh and it made your head spin. that, and the fact that you were so close you had no choice but to inhale his scent as you tasted him on your tongue. your own body was pulsing with need, and you were restless in his arms. Your knees felt weak, like any moment you could go down, if not for him being there to hoist you upright.
he pulled away to whisper, “tell me you want it too.”
“i want it too,” you said, breathless.
That was all he needed to hear to lead you out of the studio, the song forgotten for now. It would be there when he was finished with you, but it would be a while until then. Anton took you to his bedroom and closed the door.
The room felt hot. your clothes felt like burdens. When Anton turned away from the door, he walked toward you, slowly. You took a step back for every step he took forward, feeling your heart jumping, until the back of your legs hit the bed. but he didn’t stop. not until you fell back and he fell over you, and his lips met yours again.
This time his hips moved against you unabashedly, little noises leaving him as he tried to soothe himself. You knew he felt the same burning that was tormenting you from the inside out. He sucked at your neck, leaving marks in the flesh there. Then he pulled away and said, “sit on my face. use my mouth.”
just those words made you dizzy. you unbuckled your jeans, and he pulled them off you in a hurry. when you reached for the band of your underwear, he stopped you, “keep this on.”
you nodded wordlessly. Words were fragile things. Anton lay down so you could mount on his face. as you settled over him, he started to lick at your pussy through your panties, his hands resting on your thighs.
you could feel his tongue through them. He wasn’t starting slow. There was none of the reluctance from before, every bit of it had been shed to make way for his new skin, and he went at it like he knew exactly what he was doing, or exactly how to figure it out.
“Anton,” you murmured. Your arousal was a fierce thing with a mind of its own, and it was taking control of your body and mind.
Anton squeezed your thighs, sucking at you as he kneaded your flesh, letting his hands roam freely rather than keep them in one place. your panties that were already damp with the evidence of your desire were becoming wetter as his saliva added to the moisture gathering there.
your breaths were shallow. you could only imagine what it would feel like when his lips came in contact with your bare skin, and the thought only made you more impatient.
Perhaps Anton could feel you getting restless, because after a moment, he slipped your panties to the side and tasted you without the fabric of your underwear getting in the way. you gasped out, “fuck.”
His mouth was so warm against your skin. He licked at your clit, one hand remaining clamped on your thigh while the other went to your stomach, and you couldn’t help but grind down against his face.
you tipped your head back. “like that.”
he kissed your folds and licked at your clit, none too aggressive, experimenting with the amount of pressure to get you moaning and rocking against his mouth. It was a soft, sweet act, and you could hear every taste, every suck, the wet sound of his lips pleasing you as you leaked more and more against his pretty lips.
his lips pressed against your inner thighs here and there for a fleeting moment, long enough to make you miss it, then he would return to sucking at your clit, making out with your pussy.
“just like that,” you whimpered. “don’t stop. please.”
your brain ceased to function and all you could think about was Anton. How good he was at this, how much you wanted him to keep going, how this could never be the last time. If you knew anything, it was that the memory of him eating you out would haunt you for days to come.
it was the fastest you had ever let anyone see you so intimately, but you couldn’t be bothered to trouble yourself with those thoughts. It felt right at the moment, and it felt even better now, and if every swipe of Anton's tongue kept the doubts and regrets at bay. You didn’t even have it in you to regret not shaving in advance, because it hadn’t deterred him at all.
Anton let his tongue slip inside and it felt like a bomb went off in your stomach as warmth exploded throughout you. “holy fuck,” you stammered. “holy fuck.”
he didn’t let up, exploring the inside of you with his tongue. You could feel his nose nudging against your clit and that it only stoked the flames of the fire ramping up within your core.
“i’m so close,” you whimpered, your hips grinding down against him. It was impossible for you to keep still.
Anton’s hand shot up, slipping underneath the shirt you hadn’t taken off, and his fingers swiped over your stomach once more before ultimately reaching your chest. he fondled your breasts, cupping them in his terribly large hands, brushing his thumbs over your stiff nipples. he caressed the skin at your ribs and returned to your breasts, catching your nipples gently between his fingers and rubbing them in a circle with his thumbs.
he kept one hand at your breasts while the other wandered down and went behind you to your lower back and your ass. His hands were soft against your skin, rubbing up and down in tender motions that made all the difference.
“yes,” you cried out. Your thighs trembled as your knees clamped around his head in an almost violent manner before you finally went still.
Anton gingerly pushed you off his face and lowered you onto his bed. His lips were glossy with your desire. “can i fuck you?” he asked.
you were still trying to catch your breath, but your answer was an immediate, “fuck, yes.”
Anton went to step out of his pants and shrug off his shirt, and you watched him, watched as he revealed his bare chest, the skin chiseled and defined. the sight alone nearly finished you again. You were throbbing, aching, even now, and you were so desperate to feel him inside you.
he watched you take your shirt off, revealing the tits he’d cupped to him, and you were almost equally naked, except he stepped out of his boxers, but made sure you kept your panties on. for whatever reason.
When he spread your legs and got between them, he didn’t immediately enter you like you thought he would. He rubbed his cock against the dark, wet part of your underwear, back and forth, feeling how drenched you were through your panties.
“fuck,” Anton groaned. you didn’t know if he was teasing you or testing himself.
you watched him. Maybe it was a good thing that he wasn’t diving headfirst. He was fully erect and you would be blind not to notice how big he was. You didn’t know how he was going to fit.
Anton slipped his cock underneath the edge of your panties and came out through the upper right corner of them, and you sucked in a gasp as you felt him brush against your clit. He slipped through your folds, coating his length in your slick that was only building the longer he kept tempting you. “you’re so wet,” he murmured. “for me?”
“yeah,” you said. “Anton, please…”
“please, what?”
your face was hot, but you were past the point of embarrassment. “please fuck me. I want to feel you inside me.”
“I want that too,” he said. “I want to feel your pussy around me, I want to hear how loud it gets for me when I'm inside you.”
oh my god. “Then what’s stopping you?” you grumbled.
“nothing,” he said, glancing up at you for a moment with a raised brow and a little smile on his face. “how bad do you want it?”
“You know how bad I want it,” you said. You reached down to grab him, twisting your hand around his dick.
“fuck…” Anton grunted. he fucked your fist while simultaneously rubbing himself against your cunt.
At last, he pushed your hand away, tapped his dick against your pussy a few times, and pushed himself inside you.
you gasped. He wasn't entirely sheathed yet, but it was enough to make you jolt. “oh my god.”
Anton raised a brow. “I'm barely inside you.” he chuckled and smoothed his finger over your hip. “Tell me when I can go deeper,” he said.
you nodded, willing yourself to relax. Even with how evidently aroused you were and your wetness leaking down your thighs, it wasn’t much easier. “Anton…”
“I know,” he whispered. He leaned in to kiss you, then met your eyes. “just breathe, okay?”
you nodded again. A few moments passed, but Anton didn’t rush you. He knew for most people he was… an adjustment. “Okay. deeper.”
Anton was relieved. He sank even deeper within you, a weak noise of his own escaping him. you whimpered the further he went inside, but you didn’t tell him to stop. He kissed you through it, hoping to distract you the best he could, but nothing could take your mind off the way his cock was thoroughly stretching you out.
“can i move?” he asked when he sheathed to the hilt.
“wait,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around him. “okay. yeah.”
“fuck,” Anton hissed. his eyes lowered, watching himself disappear in and out of your slippery cunt. “Is this what you've been wanting?”
“yes,” you stammered out.
Anton smiled. “I know it is.”
as he drove inside you, you could hear the wet smack of your bodies meeting, the joining of skin echoing on the walls. It made Anton crazy. “Do you hear that?” he asked.
you flushed at how loud the sound was. “yeah, i hear it…”
"Don't be shy,” he said, bringing his face to your neck. “that’s just how bad we want each other.”
it was unignorable, the sound, the wetness, the heat of your bodies pressed together. There was no denying the mutual desire.
you dragged your nails down his back. Anton groaned, the line between pain and pleasure narrow in his mind. “mark me…” he rasped.
you were convinced he was insane, but you were beginning to enjoy that about him.
“Look at me,” he said softly, grabbing your neck. The grip wasn’t tight, but it got your attention. Your eyes met his as you gasped and moaned beneath him, throbbing at hand around your throat, his cock reaching places you never even knew were there.
“you’re so beautiful,” he murmured, staring into your eyes. “i wanted to fuck you like this since the very first night i saw you.”
“I wanted you too…” you confessed. The eye contact was too much, and you glanced away.
“no, beautiful,” he said, tilting your head back. He tightened his grip a little bit. “look at me.”
“Sorry,” you whispered.
Anton smiled. “you want to know what I thought about doing when Shotaro introduced you to me?”
your eyes flickered with curiosity. “what?”
Anton stopped and pulled out of you, but you didn’t have time to mourn, because seconds later, he told you to get on your hands and knees, and he entered you again from behind.
“oh, shit,” you moaned. it felt like he was even deeper than he was before.
Anton felt his mind reel. You were so tight and wet around him, it was all he could do not to come then and there. “Can I record you?” he asked very softly. “please? you look so pretty… I won't show anyone, I promise.”
it would be a lie if you said you didn’t like filming yourself in the act. “um, yeah…”
Anton grabbed his phone from the nightstand and pressed record soon after. He pressed you down against the mattress and pinned you there with one hand, your moans becoming muffled as your face got pushed into the sheets. but not for long. Anton adjusted your face to the side. “want to hear you,” he murmured. “i want to hear all the sounds you’re making for me.”
“Anton, please don’t stop,” you begged.
“wasn’t planning on it,” he grunted. “your pussy feels so good around me.” he smacked your ass, which made you cry out in surprise. “i knew you would feel so good. look how pretty you get for me.” he lowered the camera to wear your bodies met, your underwear drenched and pushed aside as his cock pounded you with a loud, sticky sound. he made sure to capture how messy it was down there.
you felt delirious, like you weren’t there in your own mind, but in some distant place where only the sensation of him hitting that sweet spot inside you could reach. you had no idea how badly you needed this until now, now that you couldn’t think about anything but this.
Anton felt himself beginning to grow bored of the position and pulled out again. He sat on the bed. “come here,” he said, pulling you up gingerly.
you crept over and he pulled you onto his lap.
“use my dick,” he murmured. “use me to make yourself cum.”
you did not need to be told twice. You settled on top of him and sank down, gripping his shoulders for purchase. The room smelled of sweat and sex, and a blend of the scents each of you used. But you were focused on how good it felt to be full of him. No one had ever stretched you the way he was.
Anton rested a hand on your hip, but he let you take the lead. he used the other hand to record you as you rocked your hips against his, no detail lost on him. he got the way you threw your hair back when it fell down your breasts, the way you tipped your head back and moaned his name, the way your lips hung open and your body shuddered.
he wasn’t going to last much longer. He knew that much. he didn’t want to intervene, not when you looked so pretty riding him so hard and taking what you wanted, but he also didn’t want to come first.
Anton reached to grab your throat. “goddamn, i’m not going anywhere,” he teased. “you look so good riding me like that, though. making yourself feel good.”
that sent a fire through your veins. The hand around your throat was like gasoline. “yes, yes, yes… Anton!” you cried out.
“Do you like that?” Anton tightened his grip. “You like my hands, don’t you?”
that sent you over the edge. You felt the warmth set off in the pit of your stomach and erupt to every corner of your body. your pussy clenched around him as you trembled with ecstasy. Anton grabbed your hip tightly to hold you through it. “that’s it, gorgeous,” he grunted. “i got you. i’m right here.”
“Anton,” you whimpered again.
“shh,” he said, running his hand up your back soothingly. the way your face tensed with pleasure as you came around him had him seconds away from boiling over. “That's it. You did so good for me.”
you went slack against him. Anton drove up into you, making you cling to his shoulders tightly as you took it. “fuck…”
“i’m gonna come,” Anton said. he set his phone so he could hold your hips with both hands. he looked up at you, his lips parted and his eyes damp. “please… please, pretty girl. let me come inside you. let me fill this pretty pussy up. Please, let me have this. i need it- oh, fuck… goddamn, i can’t hold back anymore, i’m gonna fuck you full.”
He sounded so good when he begged. “yes—” you gasped.
Anton swore as he spilled inside you, hands clamping down on your thighs. When you watched his face, it looked like he was resetting.
He took his time before he pulled out. When he did, he made sure to record his cum leaking from your dripping pussy, proof of how thoroughly he had wrecked you from within. “Goddamn,” he muttered. He slipped your panties back in place.
“They're ruined,” you whined.
Anton chuckled. “so… you won’t be needing them, is what I'm hearing?”
You smacked his chest. “you’re a pervert.”
“i’m a gentleman,” Anton said, smiling coyly. His face was tinged red. he gathered you in his arms and hoisted you in the arm. you yelped, reaching for his arms. “I'm going to clean up the mess I made. It's only fair.”
same anon, just scrolled through and omg I had the SAME thoughts about the water being wasted in that fic 😭😭😭😭 like I had to tell myself there was an auto shutoff or smth lmao just wanted you to know you're not alone
LMFAO?? i was like damn i know i should not be worrying about that of all of things but i couldn’t help but notice! i’m glad it wasn’t just me :P
hi! first off, your blog looks so pretty 🥹 as for the wet dreams thoughts about anton: so we know he's an acts of service man, which got me thinking about him giving you a massage (shoulders, feet, anything) to help you relax, and ofc he wants to give you more which leads to soft sweet cuddly sex with the best aftercare 🤤
thank you so much 🥹 making my blog pretty requires a bit of extra work, but i think it’s worth it. wet dreams ooh i like that. i’m gonna tag my spicy asks/blurbs with that now 💙🩵
“My back hurts,” you had grumbled. It was an offhand complaint, one you expected nothing out of.
But Anton, ever the sweetheart, was determined to make life easier for you in any way he could. “Would you like a massage?”
You had told him he didn’t need to do that, but he insisted, and suddenly you were on your stomach, your shirt tossed aside as he kneaded your back and shoulders. The lights were dimmed and something laidback was playing.
Within his hands was great strength, but he always touched you with a tender care that bespoke his heart. A soft nudge here and a reverent stroke there.
“Where does it hurt? Here?”
“A little higher up.”
Anton moved his hand. “Here?”
“Yeah,” you said, face turned to the side.
He focused his hands on that spot for a while longer. You closed your eyes and sighed pleasantly, feeling the soreness and the weeks worth of stress that had amassed there all dwindling away. All that remained was the love you bore and contentment you found.
Anton kept a close eye and an open ear. When he prodded your flesh with the heel of his hands, just shy of your spine, you seemed to melt. The sounds you were making meant he was doing something right. Your breathing was a slow, easy thing, but those soft moans as he soothed your muscles were unmistakable.
Anton leaned over to whisper into your ear. “Tell if me if I’m being too gentle or too rough.”
“You’re just right,” you murmured. You loved the feel of him above. He wasn’t directly on top of you, but just the awareness of his proximity was exciting. It made your body erupt with a tension that was bred of anticipation rather than discomfort.
Anton noticed. He noticed everything about you. For a while he said nothing about it, lest he take you out of the headspace you were in, but after roughly twenty minutes went by, he stopped and asked, “Are you satisfied?” It was a question rife with implications, the one at the forefront being: Do you want more than this?
You rolled onto your stomach and met his eyes. When you saw him, it was more apparent. He was looking at you with fondness, with devotion… and with need. A need not only to be pleased, but to please.
One thing led to another, and you ended up beneath him for an entirely different reason.
“Baby,” you said softly. Every layer was shed. Not only yours, but his too. You were skin to skin, your back to his chest, hand in hand.
“Shh,” Anton whispered, kissing the back of your neck. Although he didn’t really want you to be quiet. “Don’t think. Just feel me. Tell me what you want.”
You shuddered as his voice tickled your neck. “Slower.”
He slowed his thrusts to a lighter pace in a dramatic demonstration of obedience. “Like that?” he asked playfully.
You laughed, reaching behind you to thwack at him. “Anton!”
The sound made him smile. “Kidding,” he murmured. He picked back up, settling on something deep but comfortable. “Is that good?”
The spots he was hitting made you dizzy. “Just like that. Don’t change anything…”
“Yes, ma’am,” he whispered, listening to the sound of your bodies meeting.
You moaned.
“You know what I’m gonna do to you after this?” Anton asked, his voice featherlight. The music was still going, having become faintly sensual. “I’m going to help you clean up because I noticed your eyes drooping earlier. Then I’m going to put your lotion on for you.” His hands began to rub your skin. “And I’ll put on those animals videos to distract your brain while I make you tea so you don’t fall asleep. Hopefully.”
“God,” you mumbled. “I love you.”
Anton kissed the top of your head. “I love you more.”
You weren’t thinking. You were just feeling. Every long stroke of him within you, filling you, fitting you, finishing you. Some things just made sense. Being with Anton—his body on top of yours, sharing his warmth, his sweat, his every breath—was one of those things.
The room smelled faintly of sweat and men, noticeable but not unpleasant. You hardly paid that any mind. What was infinitely more interesting was the pair of boys standing before the mirrors. Anton had invited you to tag along with him and some of the others, Sungchan, Wonbin, and Sohee, while they worked out. It was not uncommon for him to do so. When you were in the same country, he would create all sorts of outlandish situations for you to be together.
It would have been one thing if they were strangers, but you considered the boys friends, and it was easy for you to join in on their banter.
Sungchan stood with Anton in front of the mirrors, both of their biceps flexed, comparing sizes. For a moment you wondered what else they had compared sizes in, but you didn’t let the thought fester.
Anton called out to you, meeting the eyes of your reflection. “What do you think, babe?”
“Hmm, I don’t know,” you intoned. “I think his muscles are bigger than yours.”
Laughs echoed out through the room, and that was not uncommon either; Anton was often the butt of the jokes, a fate he was not spared from by even his own girlfriend.
He didn’t mind it much. You, and the boys, were constantly teasing him. Anton even joined in on the laughter.
Then, when he had stepped away from the glass and had gone to one of the benches, you followed him and whispered for only his ears, “Maybe I should be with Sungchan instead.”
Anton suddenly looked more dangerous then. His smile didn’t falter; if anything, it stretched wider, as if you had told some joke. The others were oblivious, convinced he was amused by whatever you had said. And in a way, he was, but it was more than that. He was challenged. And Anton was never one to back down from a challenge.
The afternoon went on almost as though nothing had happened, but you felt the difference, even though it seemed no one else had noticed. Here and there, Anton would look at you. His eyes were piercing. Sometimes he’d glance over, his face still and betraying nothing, waiting until the moment he saw your shoulders tense or your eyes dart away before he smiled. The moment would simultaneously seem to go on for an instant and an eternity before he returned his attention to the gym equipment.
Though you continued to banter with the boys, the anxious, knowing churn in your stomach was impossible to subdue. All you could do was wait for what was to come, and even then, you had no idea what would transpire. You just knew something, inevitably, would.
It felt so long before you were alone, and yet somehow not long enough. The first few moments were silent. You sat on the bed, tapping your foot against the ground restlessly.
Anton was tossing his shirt over his head. “What were you hoping to accomplish when you said that?”
You swallowed. “Nothing, I just… I was just teasing.”
“Just teasing?”
“Just teasing. I didn’t mean any harm.”
“I know that.” His shirt was off now. You could see how toned his body was, hardened by a lifetime of exercise. “That’s not what I asked.”
You said nothing.
Anton approached you. The closer he grew, the more your heart hammered. He settled beside you. “Why so quiet?” he asked. “You had a lot to say earlier.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Take your clothes off,” Anton interjected.
Your eyes flickered, but you didn’t disobey. Anton noticed that, you knew, but he said nothing about it.
The shirt you had been wearing fell away after you tugged it over your head and threw it aside, and the bra fell after. “Everything,” Anton said, watching you patiently. That was the most unnerving bit, the way his eyes were fixed to you, seeing, questing, knowing. Even as you avoided looking at him, you could still feel his stare as you undressed entirely.
Only when you were completely naked did he speak again. “Relax,” he said, his hands going to your shoulders, soothing them. “You’re not afraid of me, are you?”
“Afraid? No. Afraid’s not the word,” you murmured. Anton didn’t scare you. He did, however, agitate you, and agitation was just as great a tool as fear.
Anton was quiet a moment. “Do you want me to touch you?”
“Yes,” you replied.
He smiled. At first, it seemed softer than before, but then you noticed the hints of mischief to it. “Lie back.”
And you did without delay. Anton was just as prompt in settling at your legs. “Spread your legs,” he instructed gently. When you obeyed, his hands met your thighs, and you allowed yourself to relax until a tension of a different nature overcame you.
Anton moved in no particular hurry. He was kissing your body, your stomach, your left thigh, your right… he was making you wait. You seemed to only grow more agitated. “Anton…” you grumbled.
He hummed innocently. “Something wrong?”
You hated when he did that. When he pretended not to know exactly what he was doing. It was infuriating. “Are you going to eat me out or what?”
“And here I thought you were shy,” he said, teasing. “You’re lucky I like when you’re demanding.”
To your fortune, Anton quit his teasing and started to eat you out as if he meant it. In a matter of minutes, you were writhing underneath him, one hand in his hair, the other in the sheets, his name on your tongue. The more restless you grew, the more he seemed willing to please, sucking at your clit with relentless fervor.
“Anton,” you cried out. “Anton, please don’t… please don’t stop.”
For a moment, he didn’t. So long you had been apart, Anton nearly forgot how much he loved watching you unravel because of him. He did, after all, aim to satisfy. He found in that moment he wanted nothing so much as to make you come… but only when he had made his point.
So when he knew you were close, he pulled away.
Your annoyance showed immediately. “Anton.”
Anton’s dick twitched when you said his name like that. Any other night, he would have gladly given in, but tonight, he was in control. “What?” he said, smiling. “I was just teasing. I didn’t mean any harm.”
So like him to use your own words against you. What good was a boyfriend if not to make you regret every word you ever said?
“I could edge you all night. Make you beg for me,” he went on. His hand moved between your legs and he coated his fingers in your arousal. “What do you think?”
You glared. “I think you shouldn’t do that.”
Anton looked as though he expected as much. “No?” he asked. “Well, because I’m such a good boyfriend, I’ll give you a way out. It’s simple, really.”
“What do you want?”
This time he didn’t smile. His eyes were menacing. “Beg.”
“Please,” you begged. It was ridiculous how easily you folded. “Please, Anton.”
“You can do better than that,” he said. When he slipped his fingers inside, you gasped. “What do you want, beautiful? Tell me.”
He only wanted to hear you say it, you knew, but you couldn’t deny him. “I want… I want you to fuck me. I want your cock inside me, and I want you to make me cum.”
“Yeah?” he asked, stroking his fingers in and out. They were long, so long, much like the rest of him. “Are you sure it’s me you want? And not, I don’t know, Sungchan?”
You almost rolled your eyes. If not for what was at stake, you would have asked if he was jealous. But you knew it was likely less that and more that he wanted an excuse to drag things out. “I don’t want Sungchan. I just want you. I promise, Toni.”
So like you to use that nickname now. What good was a girlfriend if not to use every weakness she knew to get her way?
“You think you’re clever,” Anton murmured.
The sound of his fingers moving in and out of you was so wet and filthy, and yet it wasn’t enough. You were aching for more. “I think you need me as bad as I need you.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, unabashed. “Maybe more.” Anton withdrew his fingers (to your chagrin) and stepped out of his underwear. He positioned himself between your legs again, this time with his dick hard and ready to penetrate, only he didn’t do so immediately. He rubbed himself against your slick folds, heard you suck in a breath, and let a moan of his own tumble between his lips. “Holy fuck.”
“Anton,” you said again, but this time it was less sharp and more desperate. “Please, don’t tease me anymore. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. You know you’re the only one I want.”
He knew it. He never doubted that. And even if he had, the evidence was right there, coating his cock. Without another word, he slipped inside, his entry facilitated by your wetness. You both moaned at the same time, and Anton couldn’t resist burying himself inside you completely. “God,” he gasped.
“Fuck me, Toni,” you said. You didn’t say please, but it sounded like a plea.
His eyes closed only after he had watched himself fall inside you, and his hands tightened around your hips with a grip stronger than he intended. Your words spurred him on and suddenly he had your knees against your chest and his hands snug around your legs. You loved the beast he became when he was inside you, the animal you became when he was wrecking you from within.
“Oh my god.” The sound was torn from your lips.
Anton was taking. The chrome hearts necklace at his neck, which was all that remained of what he had been wearing, dangled and swung, but his eyes were now trained purely on you, on your face, watching you watch him, wanting you to want him, needing you to need him. Every sound you made was his fuel, every face as essential as his own pumping blood, and for a second he forewent your legs to cup your face intimately. He leaned in, whispering, “Do you have any idea how good you feel?”
Your mouth was open, but you struggled to make any meaningful sound. “Toni…”
“Shit,” he swore. “Don’t ever mention Sungchan again.”
“Okay,” you agreed, but hell, if it got him to fuck like this, you probably would.
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