I have lost the ability to can

When the human mind is pushed to its very limits, we found that it cracks in some very interesting ways. We also encourage others to share their horrifying revision reality here too. This is a blog of revision-induced insanity and quotes from three university students.

[whatrevisiondoes]

It's actually making me physically nauseous that I will never be able to touch that man.

Harriet on Martin Rolinski 

[cutechekovconfessions]

Chekov is the only reason I am surviving finals week. Whenever I don’t want to do something I just think “I can do zat!”

[whatrevisiondoes]

Harriet: FUCK MY LIFE!

Hilary: FUCK MY ARSE!

Harriet: I shall...

[wsswatson]

the worst thing is when I’m stressing about my exams and people are like ‘don’t worry, they’ll be over in a week!’

THAT IS NOT HELPING

I DO NOT KNOW ALL THE THINGS

AND THEY WILL BE OVER

IN A WEEK

I HAVE LESS THAN A WEEK

TO LEARN THE THINGS

AAAAAAAH

[whatrevisiondoes]

Megan: I just tried to control+f my lecture notes.

Hilary: Paper, why you not computer?!

[whatrevisiondoes]

I've always wanted to try lighting one of my own farts.

Harriet

[whatrevisiondoes]

My text book just told me not to compare Rolls-Royce cars with chewing gum. Well done genius. 

[whatrevisiondoes]

Lol I'm revising so hard.

Helen - whilst lounging on her bed and filing her nails.

[whatrevisiondoes]

Harriet: If we fail together it won't be so bad...

Heather: Yhea we can see each other again at resits!

[whatrevisiondoes]

Helen: Oh God. I just wrote unpredictable penis?!

Harriet: Wtf? What did you mean to write?

Helen: Unpredictable.

[whatrevisiondoes]

Hilary: Exam in two days. Have to teach self whole module. Oh god. It's Orange Wednesday, shall we go to the cinema?

Megan + Harriet: Yhea alright

[whatrevisiondoes]

I cooked. In a pan. I cooked in a motherfuckin' pan for the first time in like 4 days and it...was...GLORIOUS.

[nevertheblood]

I am a 20ft robot and my name is Charrrrrrrrles.

Charles, whilst being draped lazily across the couch. (via deadstarfish)

[whatrevisiondoes]

If I've learnt anything over the last few days, it's that I shouldn't be drugged up during exam period....

Harriet on whether or not to have cough syrup tomorrow morning

[whatrevisiondoes]

Hilary has a fortune willy. Also saying "fortune cookie" with a fortune cookie in your mouth results in it sounding like "fortune pussy."

[whatrevisiondoes]

Dinner Conversation.

Charlie: Did the menu say sweet and sour chicken balls or chicken pieces?

Harriet: Balls.

Charlie: Those aren't chicken balls, they're full on shlongs...which is sort ironic because none of us particularly like shlongs.

Harriet: Two asexuals and a lesbian...

Charlie: Sounds like the start of a joke.

Hilz: Two asexuals and a lesbian walk into a shlong...

Charlie: And none of them were particularly amused!

[whatrevisiondoes]

And so our brave heroes, having traversed the treacherous landscape of Japan, are settling to revive their spirits on the nourishment of China...