Oops, where did my time go?

Maybe some semblance of adulthood is in order. All I wish for in my 24th year of life is inspiration. I never liked the number 22. Finally, I feel 21. Finally 21. Cheska, a 20-year old med student who still feels 17.

[whatsthetime]

You asked me before - what would happen to me if finally you found someone? You knew the answer to that. The pain has started to turn into resentment and anger - both of which I never wanted to feel towards you, and also why I so stubbornly wanted us to work as friends. I only want to remember the good times, but I realize now that there weren’t a lot of them. Our relationship was the most toxic one I’ve ever had in my life, and you know I’ve had quite a few. We brought out the worst in each other.  So yeah, I told you that maybe someday it wouldn’t hurt. It doesn’t anymore. At least I think it doesn’t. I still don’t have the answer to how to stop loving you though. Perhaps someday I will.

[whatsthetime]

What scares me most is that you might give up on me any day now. What intrigues me is why you haven't yet.

[whatsthetime]

What scares me most is that you might give up on me any day now. What intrigues me is why you haven't yet.

[whatsthetime]

If only I could tell you that all my bad days begin and end with the realization that you don’t and will never, ever feel the same way about me.

[whatsthetime]

Hindi nauubos ang kilig ko sa 'yo.

And you're not even trying. 

[whatsthetime]

Why Men Cheat

One man's unfiltered, unadulterated explanation. Well, maybe a little adulterated.

[lunamidnight-m00nl0ver-deactiva]

You came & went like summer rain. Like the fall wind. Like the sun before a storm. You came & went like a car on the street. Like a bunny in the yard. But most important & worst of all, you came & went like a knock at the door. A quick hello & painful goodbye.

Days-g3tworse (via days-g3tworse)

[whatsthetime]

We have both lost ourselves, but sometimes we reveal the most when we are least like ourselves. I am trying not to think any more. I can't think when I am with you. You are like me, wishing for a perfect moment, but nothing too long imagined can be perfect in a worldly way. Neither of us can say just the right thing. We are overwhelmed. Let us be overwhelmed. It is so lovely, so lovely. I love you, June.

Anais Nin, from Henry and June

[whatsthetime]

Fuck This Shit. I'm Out, Babe

Better now than later, but why the sudden turnaround? The timing is peculiar, but I refuse to believe that you are that kind of person. At least not to me.

[whatsthetime]

Ok Fine, let's watch The Conjuring

Oh, what have I gotten myself into? I should get out before I'm in too deep, but this is playing out like me coming across a horror flick while channel surfing - knowing I should stop watching lest I get nightmares, but the wonder, mystery, and excitement get to me and I keep on watching.

[whatsthetime]

Internship memz haha. Finally had some photos printed.

[whatsthetime]

No true fiasco ever began as a quest for mere adequacy. A motto of the British Special Air Force is: 'Those who risk, win.' A single green vine shoot is able to grow through cement. The Pacific Northwestern salmon beats itself bloody on it's quest to travel hundreds of miles upstream against the current, with a single purpose, sex of course, but also... life

Elizabethtown

[whatsthetime]

Sometimes I wonder why I chose this life. The life of a never-ending quest for knowledge and excellence; when in all my years on this Earth, I've never acquired any decent study habits. And then I remember.

Nothing is quite as exciting and fulfilling. There are only about two months left in med school and I have never been more scared and excited  in my life.

[whatsthetime]

I can't believe it's only Day 11!

[whatsthetime]

Friendship

I lost you long ago; but why is it that every time I remember that fact, I feel like I'm losing you all over again?

[whatsthetime]

Because I am still waiting for the month that could top August 2012.

[whatsthetime]

Withdrawal.

Please, dear God, inspire me to study everything else that is not Ortho-related. I have a real knack for ignoring things that I don't like.