Call me Steph! This blog is more or less strictly ROTG. Want me to see, something? I track the tag whentheoceanmetsky! Normal tags to the right. I do commissions!
well, cant say i can offer monetary or physical support but if you ever need help i promise to try my best to deliver the best i have, both in time and rescouses avaiable to me! Dont give up and hug your family really tightly tonight! Luc
Thank you! I know I made it sound bleak but despite it things are looking really good for us. It’s mostly the stress/anxiety of it that’s getting to me (and I have an appointment w/ my psychiatrist April 9th so I’m good), and worrying about my parents since they’re older and don’t really need these kinds of problems health-wise. With everything going on with my sister (the major guilty party in this) things look really good for our side with CPS.
So... I don’t really have anything good to say atm. Anyone who’s following my art blog knows I haven’t really been posting anything and though I’ve been trying (and succeeding some) to draw, some major family issues have been coming to a head.Â
I don’t wanna go into major detail, mostly b/c just thinking about it pisses me off and also there’s a lot of things currently going on that leaves it up in the air, but basically child protective services is involved and my six year old nephew is currently living with us and will be for a while.Â
And so basically a good majority of my time now is spent between worrying about my niece and other nephew and trying to suppress and forget until I can get to my next appointment with my psychiatrist and up my meds. (Which apparently I need badly. It started slow but I’m already oversleeping and my anxiety is spiking to noticeable levels.)
I don’t mean to be a downer guys but that’s what’s going on. :( So I’m sorry I can’t be around much, life just keeps throwing us curveballs.Â
I’m doing Commissions! Click for prices! If you can’t commission me I’d really appreciate a reblog!
Please only contact me through my email, tumblr is notoriously bad at sending asks.
More Info:
Coloring lineart is $7.
Extra Characters are $7Â for lineart and $12 painted.
You can choose whether you want a blank or monochrome background, but I’ll also do simple backgrounds (as pictured above and also here - x x - ) for $10.
I’ll draw any fandoms/fancharacters/original art you want.
I am also perfectly fine with drawing nudity/lingerie/various states of undress, but I won’t draw porn. Sorry!
I also won’t draw mecha or vehicles.
Reference is good! Never be afraid to send too much reference, it can only help!
Feel free to look through my art archive, and if you see a style or picture you like not shown here I can give you a price and do my best to imitate it.
If you’re unsure about if I’ll draw something or have any questions don’t be afraid to ask!
You can contact me at [email protected]. I only accept paypal using the same email as above.
So one day The Guardians decide that Bunnymund really needs a bath since he’s dirty and kinda smells.
Bunnymund is not amused. Que gaurdians trying to chase a relucant Bunny around and forcing him to take a bath, even if they have to wash him themselves.
I wouldn’t mind some fluff as well
Here’s some inspiration: http://rinpin.tumblr.com/image/37930420163
If this have already been promoted, feel free to ignore.
Recent OT5, soon after the movie when the Guardians are still getting used to the idea of being together again. But Jack’s serious about getting together once a month, and Bunny had better be ready. Post-bath, with lots of brushing.
only-1-a replied to your post: OH I also got some nail polish that is LITERALLY...
I did the exact same thing last summer and I’m so sad I still can’t find a decent thing of black polish, but you should totally paint your toes and wear the rights and show off pictures! 8D
Yeah one day I'm gonna dress up and show it all off. I was actually gonna paint my nails but I have this thing I'm going to with my bestie that I want my nails to look a certain way. Heck I might just do it anyway, it's not until the 20th.
OH I also got some nail polish that is LITERALLY CALLED GOLDEN AGE.
And it looks EXACTLY like you think it'd look too. Sort of a strange gold color with shimmer/glitter in it. I'd have taken pictures the first time I wore it but my two middle nails had broken (sadly not in an epic double flip-off maneuver) and I didn't wanna take pictures with hecked up nails. But SOON. SOON GOLDEN AGE NAILS.
I’m doing Commissions! Click for prices! If you can’t commission me I’d really appreciate a reblog!
Please only contact me through my email, tumblr is notoriously bad at sending asks.
More Info:
Coloring lineart is $7.
Extra Characters are $7Â for lineart and $12 painted.
You can choose whether you want a blank or monochrome background, but I’ll also do simple backgrounds (as pictured above and also here - x x - ) for $10.
I’ll draw any fandoms/fancharacters/original art you want.
I am also perfectly fine with drawing nudity/lingerie/various states of undress, but I won’t draw porn. Sorry!
I also won’t draw mecha or vehicles.
Reference is good! Never be afraid to send too much reference, it can only help!
Feel free to look through my art archive, and if you see a style or picture you like not shown here I can give you a price and do my best to imitate it.
If you’re unsure about if I’ll draw something or have any questions don’t be afraid to ask!
You can contact me at [email protected]. I only accept paypal using the same email as above.
So I've been absent again but a lot of stuff was happening!
During November I decided I wanted to start doing commissions again (I had been doing well and my psychiatrist thought it was a good move) so I started churning out artwork I had laying around and trying to get some decent stuff up and ready.Â
Then Christmas came around and it was shopping and family and drama and I hit a few bad points but mostly everything was fine.Â
And then just into the beginning of January I crashed hardcore. I was tired and physically exhausted almost to the point of sickness for almost two straight weeks and my sleeping patterns were a nightmare. I DESPERATELY wanted to draw and get things done, before that point I had really, really felt good about drawing and felt ready to get my stuff out there. (Which, as my doc told me, is a really good sign you have depression. I wanted to do this thing so badly but physically couldn't.)
And then my doctor's appointment got delayed by like a week. ;~; Yeah that was a really sucky time. Luckily I started to pull myself outta that awful funk a little bit and managed to get some more work done. I talked with my doctor eventually and we upped my meds and I'm feeling a lot better!
I STILL have some stuff waiting in the wings (I'm tempted to post screenshots but they're mostly sketches) and I actually have a whole list of tiny lingerie Jacks I wanna draw. (Every time Victoria's Secret sends me a mag I get THE URGE. I have a little jack for everyone in the OT6.) Also really been wanting to do more asofterworld parodys.Â
I've been keeping up with fanfics too so it's not like my interest in ROTG is waning, I'm just so busy lmao. Anyway that's about it, I'll be reblogging my commission post shortly.
Once upon a time, I promised whentheoceanmetsky (aka aboutascoolasfrenchtoast) to write something for her incubus AU. This is, I think, something.
…
“What would you give in exchange for her life?”
Kozmotis lets out a long breath, and raises his eyes to meet the ones he can feel burning into him. Literally, burning. Looking into the demon’s eyes is like staring into the scorching sun, all the heat of the summer droughts concentrated into a dispassionate gaze, boiling him slowly away to nothing.
He doesn’t look away.
The word comes out a sigh, a shuddering breath. “Anything.”
this is not what i expected to see a 5 in the morning but what a way to start the day!
I REALLY REALLY dig the setup you gave Koz for becoming a demon like p much consider that canon I don't think I ever figured out what I wanted to do? But that is great and it parodies the books as a sweet clever bonus so yeah it's totally incubus canon now.Â
This was just so awesome and I was making stupid grin-y faces all from start to finish so yes A+++ I'll just be over here aksjkslfld
gretchensinister replied to your post:Big Ol' Update
I’m so glad you sought help! I’d love to talk more about whatever, things related or unrelated. I finally sought help for anxiety a few months ago, so some parts of your story sound very familiar
Aww I'm glad you got help too! Actually tbh I didn't know how bad the anxiety thing was until I started medication? Like I'd never had a panic attack and the times I did get anxious were pretty far in between, but once I started up meds I noticed a distinct lack of tenseness in my body? My blood pressure also dropped some (enough for me to notice it wasn't constantly thumping around my chest) and I definitely feel calmer?
It's a little hard to describe, like I'd gotten so used to it that I didn't notice most of the symptoms until they were gone haha.
If you have ever created a blacksand AU, please give me a lead on it/them (since I’ve been a poor cataloger of those that aren’t mine). I’ve decided to try and map them.
And now, a list of tags from my somewhat sleep-deprived mind.
Adding a quick tip for anyone who tags well, you can search for any posts by typing (your url).tumblr.com/search/(your tag)! So if you have a tag for your au or just a general au tag it might make your search easier.
Oh lord in heaven where do i begin I'm going through my blacksand tag chronologically and putting in everything and the kitchen sink I hope you're happy (Some of these are one-offs but I put the whole tag in where I could for the bigger ones.)
Dumb Bird Husbands.
I did a Hogwarts AU once
Also this one-off vampire one
Shadow Monster Pitch/Human Sandy (This spawned Mary's Labyrinth AU I believe.)
Mermaid AU (fanart for something Mighty drew, not sure if counts)
Graffiti Artist AU
American Mcgee's: Sandman
Monster!God Sandy/Pitch (technically Kozmotis, not sure if counts)
Heart of Darkness AU (I had plans for this one /weeps)
Trickster God AU (which you obvs inspired)
Dreameater AU
Vampire!Sandy AU (the big one)
Honeybee!Sandy/Wasp!Pitch
Kiddies AU
There might be a couple missing but probably nothing major.
I'm gonna keep this part as concise as possible and babble under the cut.
The short of it is this blog is not dead! I've had some problems these past few months and it's been a rough ride. I had to take a break for a loooong time (about 5 months now) and my desire to do art (or anything really) has been nonexistent.
BUT!!! I am on the fast track to getting better! I still plan on posting art here and in fact have had a few pieces in the works for a while. I'm still not sure how active I'll be on this blog yet, hopefully more as I continue to get better, but right now it's still a bit up in the air.
I'm also gonna change my blog layout to make it much easier to navigate and read. (lmao i have no idea what i was thinking there)
IMPORTANT!! If you sent me a message at my personal blog where I've been hanging around and have not received an answer, then tumblr ATE IT!! I answer all my asks, so either tumblr ate the ask you sent me or, more likely, it ate my reply. I've gotten a lot of awesome support during this time and it kills me thinking that anyone might not be getting my gratitude. :(
Anyway that's about it! For a more in depth explanation click the read more.
So some of you may already know, but last monday I went to the psychiatrist for the first time in my life and was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and some severe sleep problems. I've been on meds for a little over a week and a half and am doing pretty okay. I'm no longer riding the high I got from finally getting some help but there's definitely been some overall improvement.
Mostly from the sleep meds lmao. Man did I EVER not realize just how badly I was sleeping even when I was on a regular 8 hour schedule. My sleeping rn is still p hectic (due to being extremely sensitive to medication that makes me drowsy) but all the sleep I am getting is RESTFUL. I don't wake up hurting and feeling like 800lbs of garbage anymore. I didn't even realize that my awful hecked up back was fixable, I figured years of hunching over to draw just permanently wrecked me. Nope. Within two days I was pain free. As you can expect this by itself did wonders for my emotional state.
The depression meds are still up in the air but I also have another two weeks for them to fully enter my system.
As for why it took so long to get help? Well it basically kept getting pushed back for one reason or another. Repeatedly. For a long time. I've known there was something wrong in my brain for a while now, since high school. (To put that in perspective, I graduated in 2011. So about 6-7 years not including some iffy stuff in middle school.) I always had problems with my mood swinging internally. I would have big highs and then hit this flat deadline where I wouldn't feel anything at all.Â
I thought about talking to someone about it but I was worried that they would want me to get medical help or tell my parents, and at the time I was worried not only that my parents would react badly, but about the potential cost. My dad's the only moneymaker in the house, and my mom's been really sick since about 2007. Like a whole load of bullshit, some of it bad luck and others just the doctor's stupidity. She's a real trouper tho and is doing really good, but she needed/needs lots of expensive medications and treatments.
On top of that I'm not that healthy of a person either. In fact, the year I graduated I actually got kidney stones and my mom had a major double surgery. So yeah, I was really worried about it costing too much. I was also worried about it all just being in my head. That I was just lazy or that it was stuff I could fix if I tried hard enough. (Combine this with worry about money and all I could think about was Dad paying all that money for nothing.)
From about 2011 to 2013 I would have up and down periods, usually deadlines lasting about a week, maybe two at the most, before I pulled myself out of it. Since the first thing to go would usually be my desire to draw I called it artblock and left it at that. Or my sleep patterns would be interrupted and I'd blame it on that.
Once or twice I'd put myself up against people with depression and compare, but would always come away thinking that it couldn't be that because nothing I felt was 'that bad'. I could get out of bed and make food and go on walks and feel happy sometimes so obviously I couldn't have depression. (Disregarding the fact that my best friend of 6 years has serious depression and is currently in med school. This is called Minimisation and my psychiatrist informed me I did that A LOT.)
Bringing it up to date something changed this year and I hit a deadline I couldn't strong-arm my way out of. If I had to guess it was probably stress; my older brother moving back home after being in jail, having a 5 year old in the house constantly b/c his mother's off doing whatever, seeing the effect this had on my parents. But either way I hit a stopping point. I felt like a robot all the time, or felt upset or 'wrong', I had even more trouble sleeping and couldn't even pick up my tablet pen. I didn't wanna talk to or be around people, not unusual in a deadline but I couldn't even bring myself to text my best friend. Any sort of uplift in emotion or desire to do something died almost instantly, and where I'd once had bouts of anxiety maybe 3 times a year, I had begun having them roughly 3 times a month.Â
During that time I started really reading up on depression. I was seeing more and more posts about it that sounded similar to what I was feeling, I did a few checklists (2 medical and one from a person with depression) and came out with 8/10 each time, I talked with the bestie about it for a while and she eventually encouraged me to talk with my mom. I ended up doing it in August, I was really burning out and just exhausted all the time and I couldn't put it off any longer.
Luckily, she took it really well! She was really concerned and loving and wanted to get me help as soon as she could and started talking to the doctors that day. (We told my dad after the actual appointment and he took it really well too.) We were able to get my meds last monday after meeting and talking to my doctor and they were only about 6 bucks all together! (Thank god for insurance!)
And that's about it! I have another appointment in December to see how my medication is doing, but for now it's wait and see. I do feel better though, even if it's just a little bit, and I'm hopeful that I'll continue getting better. I also want to thank everyone who's sent me nice messages, (whether or not I actually got them thx tumbles) they meant a lot even when any kinda of human contact made me anxious and exhausted lmao.
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