Cotton-Spun Galaxies

Sean. 30. Washington. I can't believe it's not garbage (spray)

[depsidase]

[thememedaddy]

[luntfontanne]

holy shit

[swordshapedleaves]

This is an objectively funny crime and the jury mostly agreed. Acquitted of all 7 felonies!

[bitchesgetriches]

Bee-come ungovernable.

[breadandm]

somebody posted this Calvin and Hobbes strip and i cannot overstate just how topical this fuckin thing is

[navigoldie]

Someone needs to hire a better Etsy witch

[caesarsaladinn]

every morning i wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made

[andmaybegayer]

> looking at a new popular collectible

> ask the people if it's objects or gambling

> they don't understand

> pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is objects and what is gambling

> they laugh and say "it's a good collectible sir"

> look up how to buy a collectible

> its gambling

[andmaybegayer]

> #wait are labubu's blind bags?!

Labubus are blind bags but they're also blind bags with some of the most insane dark patterns stacked on top. The online store for them has a thing where they tell you what you got the second you order it online so that you can immediately try again if you didn't get the thing you wanted.

There's also a shake feature that is designed to encourage you to buy more than one by narrowing down the possibility space on a crate of options so that if you're hunting a specific model you can verify that it's guaranteed to be in one of these three IF you buy all three right now!!!!!

[girlishgamine]

You can read more about what dark patterns are and how to spot them here.

Deceptive Patterns (aka Dark Patterns) - spreading awareness since 2010

The original website about deceptive patterns (also known as “dark patterns”) - tricks used in websites and apps that make you do things tha

[ralfmaximus]

That is a fucking awesome site everyone should visit. Don't skip the Hall of Shame.

[dailymanners]

I just thought of this post, which was actually how I learned what Dark Patterns are, because I tried to cancel my Adobe Acrobat subscription, and it took much longer than I anticipated because several times throughout the process it felt like it was intentionally trying to trick me into thinking I'd cancelled my subscription when I actually hadn't yet.

Please read up on Dark Patterns and learn how to recognize them.

[mobydyke]

one thing about me is that I'm looking stuff up. you mentioned something and I don't know it? I am pulling out my phone and googling that shit. an actor? theoretical physics? a world leader? a vocabulary word? I am on the wikipedia page as we speak

[dispatchesfromtheclasswar]

[afloweroutofstone]

>landlord of my building changes >new online portal for paying rent >required to set up an account with Bilt Inc. >Bilt will add $10 a month to my rent if I pay it using my debit card >look for ways to avoid this fee by paying directly through my bank account >required to set up an extra account with Plaid Inc. >Plaid demands the password to my bank account (!!!!!!!) to connect, after which their terms of service will allow them to monitor all of my financial activity and sell that data to the highest bidder >look for a way to set up my account through a regular ACH process without taking this massive security risk >download the Bilt app on my phone because it's the only way to directly contact their help desk >realize that the Bilt app has an ACH option for connecting my bank account that is available on the app but completely unavailable on their web portal (illegal?) >finally enter my routing and account numbers like a normal human being >app still tries to redirect me towards giving away my bank account password >avoid this again >Congratulations! Your account has been set up! >doomed to a future of both email and physical mail spam from Bilt trying to pressure me into a Bilt Rewards credit card that allows me to earn 4% of my spending back in Bilt Cash that can be redeemed at qualifying establishments, terms and conditions apply >this is considered an efficient mechanism for transferring money between two accounts

Nuke the entire financial industry.

[maybe-someday-eventually]

[wiiwheel]

This is doing a fucking number on me I can't stop saying "They're attacking Pearl Harbour" in a monotone voice in response to anything

[important-cat-pics]

[bgm05]

laying an egg hard and loud

[bgm05]

will the person who tagged this “stephen colbert” please approach the bench.

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

i feel like counter-trolling is an essential skill that kids online aren’t learning and it’s kinda worrying

like back in my day, the day of online forums, learning how to trick someone in to getting themselves banned was an essential skill. if you could tell someone was a chud, you would ask them short, leading questions and watch them get frustrated and post longer and longer rants until they said something that would catch a mod’s attention and get them banned and/or at least publicly humiliated. 

and guess what? that’s the exact same tactics the alt-right use now. these people are exclusively acting in bad faith. every interaction these people post online is done with the intention of getting someone to respond to them so they can screenshot the massive paragraphs of text and laugh

so, what’s the solution?

dare ‘em to post dick pics.

don’t acknowledge the content of the stuff they post. if you see someone trying to engage you in bad faith just dare them to post pictures of their penis until they either get frustrated and leave or get frustrated and do it. either way they lose. 

this is the tactic used by the fans of a podcast (that i haven’t listened to) called the Chapo Trap House, and 4chan’s /pol/ users fucking HATE them. they hate Chapo Trap House and think they’re crazy because Chapo Trap House fans refuse to engage in meaningful debate and repeatedly demand dick pics. they get frustrated and leave. it works. 

[mr-elementle]

Some of you never used your position as a mod on an a series of unfortunate events forum to get a racist troll to post evidence of their tax fraud and it shows

[actualaster]

…that second comment is oddly specific and I’m a little scared

[hollowedskin]

I watched someone get a bunch of cops banned on twitter by repeatedly replying to them saying that all cops have small dicks and that’s why they went into the police force.

Eventually the enraged pigs posted their hogs and got instantly banned

[afloweroutofstone]

I don’t even want to write a review of “Top Gun: Maverick” honestly, I’ve seen 1,500+ movies and I’ve never finished one that left me more depressed about the future of this country. I just want to stop thinking about it

[afloweroutofstone]

By popular demand:

[afloweroutofstone]

The White House just shared a video using footage from “Top Gun: Maverick” right before real footage of US bombs hitting Iran. I am sorry to announce that I have been 100% vindicated in my views on this movie.

[angelbabymikaa]

“tattoos are going out of style” they’ve been around for a thousand years im sorry you’re conservative now get well soon ig