Some people think that Maomao and Jinshi couldn’t work because she lacks any ability to feel romantic connection. That she rejects his advances because she either doesn’t like him personally or that she was born with an inability to feel in that way at all. Neither are true. In actuality, Jinshi is the one person best suited to Maomao. Why? Because she doesn’t lack the capability to feel romantic emotion, she’s just emotionally closed off.
Due to an upbringing where her needs and wants were ignored, along with abuse and complicated early relationships, Maomao has learned to shut herself off out of protection. She’s come to believe she’s incapable of feeling love because to her love is something seen as undesirable and scary. Viewed through the lens of the pleasure district, love was always a game. It was likely if you love someone you’d get hurt. Also, when she cried and expressed the need for something, no one answered her so she simply stopped expressing those needs and wants.
“You’ll never find some fine prince whose heart will never change. That’s one lesson you can’t escape here. What does trust ever get you? When you come down to it, I’m a whore, and you’re a whore’s daughter.”
So, I would argue that Maomao, as a person who has become emotionally reserved or closed off due to past experiences, is best suited for Jinshi who is very emotionally available. He counters her reservation head on. While this is often what is seen as “forceful” or ignoring her wishes, I’d disagree. It’s him trying to break through an exterior Maomao has learned to put up to protect herself. When she only sees herself as a tool and expendable, Jinshi finds ways to make her feel valuable, to work within how she sees the world and hopefully expand her view of her own worth little by little.
"Do you hate me so much?" he asked, his face now less like a wild dog and more like a puppy. Love, hate some people wanted the world to be so black and white. Why wouldn't he give her the choice of a gray area? "I suppose I don't hate you as such," she said. She might even think of him favorably.
"If you want to send me off wherever, well, if I'm just a pawn who makes no difference to the strategic situation, I guess I have no right to object. Am I a pawn to you, Master Jinshi?" He was silent. "Is there something you'd like to say to me?" - "Yes, I want to..." He started to answer, but refused to look her in the eye. Finally, he said, "I want to have another bowl of that stew." - "Sure," Maomao said after a second. "I'll go get some more." Apparently, she figured, this was his way of saying she was useful enough to keep around.
Jinshi’s steady and honest nature is what allows Maomao to feel comfortable enough in their dynamic to push back at him, to demand things of him and banter with him and be herself with him in ways she cannot express with others. Because he proves he is safe. That he will not hurt her, that he will not leave. He shows she isn’t just a crush of proximity but someone who matters to him and continues to show that over and over through words and actions.
"Jinshi was a man who could have had anything and everything he desired. And yet, he was such a straight shooter that it caused him to beat around the bush like this. He didn't want to take the shortest route to what he wanted, but the one that would be best for the other person."
"Jinshi suspected that if he asked Maomao what had happened to her since he had seen her last, she would give him only the most businesslike report. There would be no attempt to make him worry for her or sympathize with her. - Did she do that so that she wouldn't be a burden to him? Or simply because she saw no point in getting emotional about it? If the former, then Jinshi wouldn't be content until he had done something about this infuriating, cat-like creature."
He shows her he will give her what she needs, he will listen to her when she expresses a fear, a reservation, a want. And that's not something she's had in this particular way before. She's used to being ignored, so Jinshi's ability to push past her outer defenses of nonchalance and ambivalence reveals that she may want things, she may have desires but fear and insecurity often keep her from voicing them. In this way Jinshi's unwillingness to let her be continually evasive is a kindness.
"So I should be clear, should I? Unequivocal? I should say what I mean? If I did, would you actually listen to me? Is that what you're telling me? I'm going to hold you to that! Right this minute. I'll say it all. Don't plug your ears, listen to me!" He grabbed her hands as she was in the process of trying to put her fingers in her ears. He took a breath. He was looking at Maomao, but somehow he seemed almost embarrassed. Finally he managed, "Now listen to me, y- I mean, Maomao! Listen close! I am going to make you my wife!"
"But then, was it any less mad, what Jinshi had been forced to live with? He had the power; he could have done any number of even crazier things. That he had the generosity of heart to listen to Maomao's words made it hard to shout at him now."
This availability and openness is what I’d say is the perfect counter to Maomao’s inner deflective tendencies. In his prodding and affectionate pursuit, he gives her time and the opportunity to open up to someone in a way that feels comfortable to her. It allows her to see that any heartfelt reciprocation will be met with appreciation by the right person. Something even others affirm for her.
"I know you have your circumstances, Miss Maomao. It's important not to get carried away by your emotions! But..." - "You can't let that be an excuse either."
“Maomao, you're very fortunate. This person is clearly very persistent, extremely stubborn, doesn't know when to quit-" - "and is good enough that even you were willing to let him win." Maomao looked down, which was something Joka knew she did when she was trying to hide embarrassment.
So Jinshi truly is the perfect person for Maomao because she doesn’t lack the ability to love, she simply needs someone who can wait for her to express it. Which Jinshi has been able to do because of his growing appreciation of Maomao as a person and willingness to understand her gentle displays of affection that keep him eagerly pursuing her as he can see her sincerity underneath layers of feigned disinterest.
“What she felt for Jinshi was not, she suspected, a burning passion. She couldn't respond to him with the same feelings he brought to her, but at the same time, there weren't that many people in the world with whom she could feel this safe.”
Their love isn’t about one being forceful and the other relenting to it. It’s about one creating a sense of comfort through persistent faithfulness, so the other isn't afraid of expressing emotions they've always had but felt were inadequate or were given no outlet for. By Jinshi giving Maomao a feeling of protection and love beyond what she expects, she can come to the realization that it’s not all a game, some love can be real, honest and selfless 💚
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