I will get my desk tentacles eventually.
Itâs okay, son. I love you, even if youâre being a teen emo.
You can make me feel emotions tomorrow, I need roughly twenty-four hours to recover.
Oh, sweet Jesus, Iâm not coherent enough for that.
I sound like a murderer and Iâm proud of it.
About horses, right? And not the suspicious murder?
Ah, I found the insomnia team.
I mean, if you get kidnapped, itâs not your fault your passportâs expired.
We love our ace neighbours, but we are the horny coven.
I have rejected the husk of Matt Damon.
Too much power, not enough brain.
I refuse to forsee any consequences to my actions.
Is it an actual nine inches, or a fratboy nine inches?
Sometimes you gotta eat trash to understand what gourmet tastes like.
Gonna be gay and do crimes on main.
I love killing husbands.
I feel like Iâve accessed forbidden information.
Earth may be flat, but this ass isnât.
Arson is just crime brûlée.
Iâm feisty today and thereâs no stopping me.
I am not meant for the great outdoors. I am optimally kept at room temperature.
Please, donât die. Youâll never find out the details of the deep fried oven ass.
I forgot about the moist panties!
My legacy are horses and golden showers. Not together.
Iâm not sure sharing a milkshake at McDonalds is as romantic to some people as it is to me.
Go forth and cock block, my child.
Weâre werewolves, not swearwolves.
I will make you bread and give you head.
No braincells, only chaos.
Sometimes itâs like a vibe check from god.
Itâs not supposed to touch your balls.
Do you ever recieve a gentle reminder in the form of a bitch slap emotionally? Because I just did.
Real talk â what is the difference between the abyss and the void? And why are they both always hungry?
In addition to being a toxic personality, he would pass gas so sulfuric that even the devil would be like âFuck off, no!â
My husband thinks the sun shines outta my ass. It would be nice to meet his expectations for once.