Just me...

I come here when I'm sad

[emotionalwords]

[valentina-poem]

[whisperintheforest]

I got in my head that none of them want me around. Just when I start to think I'm just making that up I realize, they're not doing anything to change that feeling, the loneliness, the silence. Nothing. They'd only notice I was gone bc the house didn't get cleaned and groceries weren't bought. Otherwise I'm just a nag who takes them away from their preferred activities that do not include me. I'm not the family keeper, I'm the annoying presence that they wish was gone. 😭

[valentina-poem]

[whisperintheforest]

Looking at a picture of myself tonight, and I'm just repulsed. 🥺 Why can't I just like me. I'll never be skinny enough or pretty enough

[whisperintheforest]

Do you ever just get to the point in the night where you feel like nobody likes you anymore and it's time to go? Just me. Sitting outside in the rain when the party is inside

[i-wrotethisforme]

“The hardest thing is to accept that someone you care about is treating you badly. Maybe not on purpose, and maybe not all the time, but you have a self worth and a value and if you pretend that you don’t know what it is, so will everyone else.”

— (via i-wrotethisforme)

[remanence-of-love]

[whisperintheforest]

You don't want me, like me or love me. If you did you wouldn't make me feel this way. You wouldn't watch my heart breaking right in front of you and just pretend it didn't happen. The saddest part is nothing I ever say will make you see that, you just want me here to care for the kids and clean up after you. You remind of this when you tell me I have to lose weight and you hate having to acknowledge me when I beg for a compliment. How could you be so cruel? You know how at the of the movie The Sixth Sense Bruce Willis' character finally realizes he's been dead the whole time? That's how I feel. You've murdered my soul and all that's left is a ghost that can't accept it's fate.

[whisperintheforest]

And I'm just supposed to let it go after you said you hate having to acknowledge me. 😭😭 Fml

[remanence-of-love]

[booksquoteslife]

“Part of me wanted to have a conversation with you, but not before you told me that you were sorry, not before you begged for my forgiveness. But your apology never came, and I’m still waiting.”

— Paula Hawkins, Into the Water

[booksquoteslife]

“Because once you hear something, you can never return to the time before you heard it.”

— Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

[remanence-of-love]

[whisperintheforest]

Wish it was as easy as it sounds

[whisperintheforest]

I should be excited that after 6 months working on the road, my husband is finally coming home. But instead I keep thinking back to meeting a couple while camping with friends, she was a bigger gal (he was no prince charming) but I overheard him drunkenly say to another guy "yeah look what I'm stuck with" referring to his girlfriend. He passed away a few months ago. All I keep thinking is, does my husband think that of me, bc I'm not skinny? Does he feel stuck with me? Would he go to his grave disgusted with me? He's made comments before about my weight and how losing 10lbs "wasn't going to do it." So instead of being excited to see him I'm just anxious that he doesn't want me... at all.

[emotionalwords]

[1st-1]