🌟🏳️‍🌈🌟

Adult | Ace Lesbian | He/Him She/Her

[damazcuz]

sorry i can't come in to work today. yeah sorry they killed me off last night. yeah i just wasn't relevant to the plot anymore. i should be in tomorrow but i'll let you know.

[catmask]

the funniest dynamc between my boyfriend and i is the chef/baker divide runs so deep. experimentally my boyfriend is a genius with figuring out what flavor profiles will not just taste good together but also will be enjoyed by the specific audience he is cooking for. a recipe is not a guidebook so much as a suggestion and he will frankenstein ideas together to get exactly what he wants to happen. he also didnt know that sugar will not work properly if you dont mix it with the wet ingredients in banana bread and when i asked 'why didnt you do it in the order of the recipe' he said 'i didnt really think it mattered'. autistically i exploded his head in my mind

[catmask]

[catmask]

when your pumpkin loaf or banana loaf is not delightfully moist and soft and sweet like the pillow of a cherub and instead is like a dense fruitcake brick of misery we will see who is pretentious then. beast

[serdunkthelunk]

I wish the world worked like it did in the stardew valley universe. If I'm strapped for cash I should be able to go grab some blackberries off the nearest roadside bush and go sell them to a grocery store for a quick ten bucks. I should be able to think "huh I wanna go talk to the wizard today" and then I go talk to the wizard in his wizard tower

[serdunkthelunk]

And then the wizard transes your gender for $500 in his basement

[greelin]

for every ten guys who would kill a vampire there will always be one who would fuck a vampire. And i think that’s really special. dope. Beautiful

[lifeattomsdiner]

First you procrastinate on the task because it is not a big enough deal to get done urgently. Then you procrastinate on the task because it has become such a big deal that doing it is overwhelming. You would think that this implies a middle point where it is just big enough of a deal to get done easily, however the inherent perversity of the universe's causal geometry prevents this

[gatheringbones]

a stud in black leather on a black motorcycle just revved their engine at me and thank god I tore my demonic uterus out ages ago because I think that would have finally knocked me up

[gatheringbones]

what a universe……

[theriverbeyond]

Ideal work schedule:

I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks

I complete the list

I leave immedietly

[greenekangaroo]

4. I am paid for the whole day regardless of when I leave

[thestuffedalligator]

Over the Garden Wall is almost ten years old and that both feels too old and unbelievably young.

I remember first watching this in the backroom of a museum on my ipod touch in late August in 2015 and it still feels like it’s been a pillar of Americana for the past thousand years.

[thestuffedalligator]

Over the Garden Wall is timeless and ancient and boiled out of the aether of American folklore and happened to be caught in animated form like a photograph of a lightning bolt, and it’s also the most 2010s-ass thing I've ever watched.

[evilwizard]

me: Storytime—I Bought That Mysterious Amulet You Said Was Cursed ‼️‼️

my apprentice: why are you talking like that

me:

my apprentice: is it the curse

me: My Apology Video (I F*cked Up!) 😱 Should Have Listened To My Apprentice 😭

[coughloop]

censorship

[redwinesupernova]

being a dyke is one of the most beautiful things this world has to offer. has anyone heard of this

[glowcowboy]

guy who yells out “IM GONNA FUCKING LOSE IT” before letting out the gentlest, smallest scream you’ve ever heard in your goddamn life

[libraford]

I'm just saying, if there's a curse that runs along your family line and you don't tell your kids about it, how the hell are they supposed to go on a quest to stop it?

[libraford]

Tell your children about your medical history.

[forestofsprites]

i think that sometimes the best thing that you can do is remind yourself that there are beaches. lakes, rivers, and ponds. there are forests. little woods and meadows. there are canyons. gullies and mountain cliffs. there are rainy days. dry spells and scorching blue skies. that the world turns. changes as much as it repeats. that feeling slow today won't stop tomorrow's high tide. won't make july's blackberries any less ripe

[sweatermuppet]

redesign for lesbian visibility week 🩷🧸🫶

click for quality (my shop) (instagram) (tip me) (shirts)

[dochkavurdalaka]

chilchuck going "sorry leave me outta this one. i cant fight" but then hitting literally every precise shot with an arrow or projectile he ever made in the story INCLUDING PIERCING A RED DRAGONS EYE BY THROWING A KNIFE WHILE LEAPING AWAY my bro is a rogue with dex 20 and wants no one to know biggest liar in history

[appendingfic]

As a fellow union man i can relate - you do not let your employer know you can do anything you don't want to become your job

[wizardarchetypes]

marine biology is so scary because it’s such a small field. i was giving a talk on cetaceans and afterward a woman approached me with her husband and she said, “you did very well. [husband’s name] actually pioneered the research and published the first paper on that. We were very impressed by you.”

Which is such a scientific interpretation/public education win I will cherish forever but also for the rest of my life any time I give a talk I will be haunted by the knowledge that the world’s leading expert who literally discovered/invented the topic might be in the room,

which is like, the opposite of what you’re supposed to do for stage fright. In fact I never used to experience stage fright but now I will.

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

There are limitations to the benefits of being a marine biologist

[chiyana]

"hey my husband and I watched your talk on cetaceans from across the room and we were impressed by your vibe"