[the-memedaddy]

[homoluigi]

In case anyone’s wondering is because getting an x ray once is so barely harmful that it rounds to zero but standing in front of an x ray emitter 40 hours a week for years will definitely kill you

[iridepigs]

If I go to the bar and have one drink with the bartender I’ll be fine. If the bartender has a drink with every patron then they will die

[ambris]

This is all true and immediately obvious to anyone who thinks about it for more than 1.5 seconds, but it doesn’t change the fact that “dude goes to egypt to press a button” is still the funniest set of words I’ve read today.

[sandandglass]

[xoellle-deactivated20190624]

this is how I would doctor

[safelyendangered]

You can find more of my comics here:

webtoon / facebook / twitter

[surfindead]

therapy but theres an audience that laughs at you

[surfindead]

dr phil

[navoika]

tumblr

[rytfujgkuhhgmjgh]

this bitch empty

YEET

[awwww-cute]

[dulect]

Me as a financial advisor: Have you tried reblogging Moneycat?

[our-hideout-world]

“”EXPECTO PATRONUM!” Harry yelled. Nothing happened. Harry gripped his dick tighter and shook it up and down until a thick, whispy white substance protruded from the end of it.” 

[haveabiscxitpotter-blog]

“Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his dick hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent.”

[basillisks-deactivated20170923]

“He had not been this close to Malfoy since he had watched him muttering to Crabbe and Goyle during Dumbledore’s speech about Cedric. He could feel a kind of ringing in his ears. His hand gripped his dick under his robes”

[dead-seriously-deactivated20160]

LOL dark-blueeeee

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

“My dick.” Said Ron. “Look at my dick.” It had snapped, almost in two, and the tip was dangling limply, held on by only a few spare splinters.

[grungegoths]

[thebootydiaries]

an unfamiliar cat: (approaches me)

me, internally: this cat senses my inner worth

[imaginarycircus]

no one told me there was a cat version

[homophobic-slur]

[thatoneblog89-deactivated202406]

I thought this was funnier than I should have

[regularcitrus]

too funny not to reblog

[teenscoolest]

[abandonedphotos-blog]

Abandoned church in Czech filled with ghost statues

[owlmylove]

excuse me filled with what

[king-bran-stark-deactivated2019]

Jon: I killed your mother, so I fully expect you to kill me

Drogon: nope, I’m just going to burn down this throne over here that’s been the seat of Targaryen power for over 300 years, and everything that my mother has strived to get back. I feel like the corrupting power of the throne is what really killed her, and not the giant fucking dagger in her chest that you put there.

Drogon: It’s a metaphor Jon

Kay, bye

Jon: how the fuck am I still alive?!

[copsarepigs]

My girl Sansa motherfucking Stark.

[effervescentbi]

ah, teenagers

[yourfavoriteneedsahug]

The holy trinity.