are butterflies without wings still beautiful?
there’s nothing like
being held hostage
by your mind
at 2:49AM
on saturday night
you can’t close your eyes
at this point you don’t try
not because of a big day
or a hot house
or an uncomfortable bed
no, you
just have
a fucked
up head
I want to empty every label
into the toilet then take
the biggest shit of my life
crush every bottle into
orange tessera of armageddon
close my eyes
like a normal person
or at least be fucked
up normally
I don’t know
what either of those are
what they mean
I can only hope
there is something
better than me
sleep without scripts
wake up tomorrow
remember a dream
I don’t want to forget
I want my first thought
to be something a little
softer than
It would be nice to
open a drawer to just
grab a knife
instead
of staring at serrated edges
for ten minutes
trying to decide if breathing
or leaving is more logical
I have a heart that beats
to carry my lover’s burdens
&
a brain that becomes one
neither of us can carry
so I drag it back
to my hole alone
what’s it like to sleep
like a child again?
what’s it like to peel
an orange without crying?
what’s it like to feel I
love you instead of hearing it?
what’s it like to have an empty
body, a body that doesn’t vessel
someone who tries to kill you
every waking second it can?
I’ve planted so many flowers
in this sunken hole, I no
longer rake the petals into
piles, I just leave them there
to cover the dirt so I’m not
reminded of what I really am
It’s 3:25AM
I’m manic
this quetiapine isn’t
working for shit
I just want to wake up
tomorrow and be someone
dededos
theartofmadeline
turnnoffyourmind
janainaart
stormborns
origamiaround
ellievsbear
